The show is seriously phenomenal. Period. Drunk History, people. Drink the Kool-Aid…or the booze.
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Day rant. Speed version. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. I have a LOT of things on this list considering I just wrote yesterday. THESE are the days where I wish I could pick 5 things to write on longer or…that I didn’t work so much and COULD write more about everything. But, it is what it is. Let’s get moving. Speed version.
2) Tony Dungy needs to be quiet and probably read this article by Jason Whitlock. http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11252669/tony-dungy-michael-sam-nfl
3) When you are 27 years old, encompassed 37% of your team’s yards, 46% of their TD’s, then usually that means you are getting an extension. Congrats, Mr. Charles.
4) During this slower sports time, I LOVE listening to baseball games in the background. The announcers know SO many tidbits and need them all during rain delays, the slower paced game, etc. Of course, the Phillies were trying to help them out last night by just blatantly playing the 6th inning in the middle of pouring rain and picturesque lightning. Listening to the broadcast, which then went to another game because of rain, I totally forgot Evan Longoria didn’t even get a college offer out of high school. Amazing.
5) You can say you won’t see Expendables III. You would be lying. Come on. Just when we thought they had all of the stars covered, they round up a couple more. Gibson. Sniper. Banderas. ROUSEY?? Whatever. It will be fun. It will be cheesy and terrible too, but fun. They are not after Oscars.
6) If anyone has any recommendations for Cleveland Cavalier fan forums I should consider, let me know. I am SO diehard.
7) You get him, Bob Stoops. GET him. Consolation game, my A%&.
8) If you have not seen the Frank Caliendo-Morgan Freeman-LeBron bit yet from Mike and Mike, then I hope that life is still treating you well otherwise in the bubble you obviously live in. I don’t have too many friends, and even I had three people send it to me. Ok. One was a coworker.
9) A Browns fan urinated on Art Modell and posted it to You Tube. I can’t imagine the anger of losing my team. If my Steelers left, I might do irrational things to. I wouldn’t even know whether to follow them or wait for a new team. I would be lost.
10) Can we just put together a Mark McGwire-Jose Canseco boxing match already?
11) I can’t WAIT to see Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s final movie. Looks absolutely fantastic.
12) I need Jimbo Fisher to stop labeling the Winston shoplifting incident. I can’t hear it anymore about honest mistakes and not with wrong intent. Even assuming Winston didn’t rape a chick, he still stole something from a store on purpose.
13) I was not as impressed with the chicks in the ESPN body issue.
14) The fact that Sidney Rice retired prematurely at age 27 means I can finally stop having him as a fifth receiver on a losing fantasy team.
15) So, if Ray Rice was high on coke WHEN he hit his fiancée, he might have gotten FOUR games?
16) I caught up on two shows of Drunk History last night. I will continue to say it is the best show on television. I know. I am shallow. IF you venture and go watch it, especially the newer ones, you will be VERY surprised on how many celebrities you know have signed on for small parts all over the place in the show. They are ALL over the show, and some are kind of BIG celebrities. AMAZING lip syncing too. I plan on knocking out the rest this weekend with Lindsey out of town.
17) I think I could tolerate those shows like Snapped and Catfish and a million others like such IF they stopped telling me the entire show after every freaking commercial break. The show could be 15 minutes.
18) Lindsey watches Masters of Sex. I lift my head at the sex scenes, and blog or work during all other parts.
19) I was reading the top basketball recruits for 2015. I remember back in the day when kids in the top 100 still went to UVA. I mean they can’t even get kids who grew up IN Virginia…and Tech sucks. Ugghhh.
20) Categories I am trying to map out for this blog are things such as shout outs, rant squad updates, stories that are better to read on Deadspin than ESPN, and other ideas.
21) Yes, Justin Blackmon, the depression you feel for being a dipshit AGAIN hopefully is somewhat balanced by the fact you are officially on my rant squad. I am accepting you and Josh Gordon as this month’s pledge class. You are just STUPID.
22) Good luck in that appeal, Josh. Marcus Vick can pick you up after your motion and take you to a strip club.
23) Roddy White has signed on for 4 more years with the Falcons, meaning the pact to consistently underachieve year after year as a TEAM he made with Matt Ryan can continue to prosper.
24) Of course Ray Allen is leaning towards the Cavs. Hmmm. I have lost a step, won a couple with that James guy, and he frees up shooters. Sounds like a plan.
25) I know it is just a friendly, but the Galaxy losing 7-0 against Man U doesn’t sound friendly…or competitive.
26) The Tigers got another closer, Mr. Soria, continuing their strategy of just getting ex- Rangers on their team.
27) I don’t know if Ware should be howling at the moon, but the Broncos ARE going to be pretty badass this year (again). Even a Steelers fan stuck in the mountains can tell you that.
28) If you are a fast guy and would love to play football for the legendary Texas program, THIS IS YOUR YEAR. Not one, but TWO WR’s from the team were busted for sexual assault. There goes THAT depth chart.
29) That is it. Gotta go. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.