SPORTS DIVORCES

SPORTS DIVORCES:  “To have and to hold, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death or retirement do us part.”

The Cast

By The Fillerbuster

September 23, 2026

My friend is getting divorced.  He is one of my fraternity brothers from back in the day.  He was two pledge classes behind me at Sigma Pi at UVA, and I was proud to call him my Brother.  Since my only title at my fraternity was Intramural Sports Director, I also will say he was the best player on a couple of my teams also.  Heck of a pool player too, which I always respect.  More on that guy’s situation later in the piece.

So, his whole situation got me thinking, since this IS a sports blog, about sports teams that stopped being faithful, stopped believing, and broke the vows of that athlete being their guy.

If I had to choose two from each sport, these are the ones that jump out for me.  I tried to keep things relatively recent to not lose the readers too much, as I assume most readers don’t need me rehashing Wilt Chamberlain, Tom Seaver, Babe Ruth, and Y.A. Tittle stories.

Here we go.

NFL:

Chargers…Drew Brees…Saints

Yes, there was a shoulder injury.  Yes, they had just drafted Philip Rivers…well, drafted Eli, and then forced to trade for Rivers.  Yes, they offered Brees a long-term contract.  But, who wants to stay in town when they had activity in the first round with another QB?  I wouldn’t.  The Chargers underestimated his health, his drive, and his perseverance.  So, how did that trade go?  Well, Brees got picked up by the Saints, and not only saved a franchise, but also a entire CITY, after a hurricane pretty much destroyed it.  A redemption story doesn’t really get much better than the Brees story.  Meanwhile, what did the Chargers accomplish?  Consistent, competitive mediocrity.  They were always in the mix, while Rivers was reproducing like a rabbit, but never saw the promised land.  You could say that the shoulder of Brees was a deficiency, a fixable deficiency.  The Chargers bailed on the marriage before giving him a chance to show them truly who he was.

Patriots…Tom Brady…Buccaneers

OK, Brees.  You ARE a great redemption story, but Tom Brady just might beat you by a nose, although his story was much briefer and compressed.  So, he had done it all with the Patriots.  He already was known as the best ever.  He had done all this with almost no wide receiver investments, and “natural tension” with his coach.  And, you get the feeling, although no one was a fly in those team rooms, that he was gently pushed out.  HOW do you push out the best ever, no matter if he seemed to be declining or not?  Brady made lists of everything that another team had to offer, and the winner was Tampa Bay.  And, Tom headed to Tampa Bay, and after K.C. and Mahomes snuck in a title, immediately won with the Buccaneers.  Truly epic.  Tom was that team.  Tom was that city.  Tom was the league.  And, he got dissed and pushed to the curb.  Rude.  This was a long-time marriage where one spouse thought that they were better than the other, and the reason for the wins.  Guess who was right?  The divorcee.

NBA:

Cavaliers…LeBron James…Heat

So, this one is actually inverted, like Tom Cruise initially in Top Gun.  LeBron actually dissed the TEAM, even though he was the team, city, and the new face of the league.  Arguably, in his defense, the team he actually took to the Finals was the second worst team ever in that event (#1 I would have to give to the Iverson-led Sixers a couple of years before).  Anyway, they didn’t build the team he felt could go to the next level.  So, he formed a Big Three (the going trend during this time).  He joined Wade and Bosh down in Miami.  What we remember is that it was The Decision, but actually it was a last-minute trade.  The Cavs got assets back for him, including Kevin Love.  But, the endgame is this.  LeBron wasn’t liking the marriage, and he quit on them and his hometown city for greener pastures.

Lakers…Shaquille O’Neal…Heat (also)

Here is an example of additional internal struggle.  The team did divorce Shaq, because they placed their priorities on Kobe.  Made sense, but let’s take a step back.  In theory, Shaq probably could have won about seven straight MVP’s.  He was unstoppable.  And, because an outside element between him and the team came into play, he became the outcast.  This is also an example of both spouses doing better after a divorce.  Shaq won a couple of years later with Mr. Wade, and the Lakers eventually were correct also, as they booked two more titles in 2009 and 2010.  So, you had the marriage of the Lakers and Shaq, and then a friend caused tension and made the marriage blow up because no one could get along, and that ruined possibly a really good thing.  But, both parties made out, in their own way.

NHL:

Oilers…Wayne Gretzky…Kings

The Oilers traded The Great One in 1988 in what was called The King’s Ransom.  What is insane about this deal was that Gretzky wasn’t even out of his prime.  They had just WON the Cup that year.  There weren’t even any years of diminishing skills.  I can’t even imagine if this trade happened during social media years.  Everything would have blown up.  Seriously.  This was mainly finances.  I think the Oilers owner even went bankrupt a couple of years later.  Finances put a strain on the relationship.  Plus, Gretzky just had gotten married, and didn’t mind being closer to family in L.A.  So, how did this turn out?  Well, the Oilers got a $15 million infusion of funds, and actually won the Cup two years later.  The Kings?  Gretzky was able to get them to the Finals, but they couldn’t close the deal.  I guess this would be a situation where the divorce was driven by financial trouble, but both sides ended up landing safely on their feet.  I will also say that the Gretzky years also provided me a lineup that made me literally unstoppable in NHL ’92.  I carried that game around to bars daring people to play me.

Kings…Rob Blake…Avalanche

Speaking of the Kings, they were involved in this one too.  I am including it, as I was local to Colorado when this went down, and it was pretty nuts when it happened.  Blake had been with the Kings since 1990, and was a fixture in the lineup, a captain for most of the time, known as one of the best defenseman in the league throughout, and beloved by the town.  This was a forced trade.  Blake turned down multiple offers, so the Kings WERE trying.  But, they wanted to get something back too for him, if he was leaving.  So, they traded him to the Avs, and he won the Cup immediately.  Not sure what this is as far as our comparison.  He sort of wanted out, and they couldn’t afford his ask.  So, they were forced to trade him, and he ended up with short-term happiness.  I need a flow chart for this one.

MLB:

Red Sox…Nomar Garciaparra…Cubs

Here we have one where the divorcer was totally correct.  Nomar was one of the center pieces of the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry, but he was due another contract, had an injury, and his defensive skills were in question.  The Red Sox traded him to the Cubs midseason.  A part of the rivalry was now gone.  And, the Cubs got some future firepower in return.  But, the divorcer made out like a bandit.  Not only did they win the World Series with some of the returning pieces of the trade, but they won it THAT same year.  This would be if the Pats won the Super Bowl right AFTER letting Tom go.  Inverted.  Top Gun.

Mariners/Astros…Randy Johnson…Diamondbacks

This is one where TWO teams apparently couldn’t see the future magic in a player.  The Mariners let Randy go after nine years and one Cy Young award.  They oddly traded him after falling out of contention in 1998 to the Astros.  Then, the Astros couldn’t grasp the magic either (even though he went 10-1 in 11 starts with the Astros).  Looking back, no one is really sure how these decisions were made.  Anyway, so Randy ends up on the Diamondbacks, and not only wins FOUR more Cy Young awards, but ALSO a World Series.  So, I guess, in our comparison model, Randy wasn’t understood in his first marriage.  Then, he wasn’t understood in his second marriage either.  It wasn’t until his third one where he was appreciated, loved, and maximized.

Here are some of the other options through history:

• Colts/Peyton Manning
• Vikings/Sam Darnold
• Mariners/Ichiro
• Panthers/Steve Smith
• Red Sox/Babe Ruth
• Rams/Kurt Warner
• Falcons/Deion Sanders
• Dolphins/Wes Welker
• Patriots/Jim Plunkett
• Chiefs/Rich Gannon
• Steelers/ Len Dawson
• 49ers/Jerry Rice
• Rams/Jerome Bettis
• Spurs/Dennis Rodman
• Eagles/Cris Carter
• Whalers/Ron Francis
• Colts/Marshall Faulk
• Bills/Marshawn Lynch
• Nationals/Juan Soto
• Falcons/Brett Favre
• Royals/Oscar Robertson
• Whalers/Brendan Shanahan
• Buccaneers/Steve Young
• Suns/Jason Kidd
• 49ers/Y.A. Tittle
• Nuggets/Carmelo Anthony
• 76ers/ Wilt Chamberlain
• Cowboys/Emmitt Smith
• Pelicans/Anthony Davis
• Bucks/Kareem Abdul Jabbar
• Hornets/Kobe Bryant
• Commanders/Champ Bailey
• Canadiens/Patrick Roy/Avs
• A’s/ Mark McGwire
• Eagles/Terrell Owens (well, he sort of had it coming)
• A’s/Rickey Henderson
• Braves/Mark Teixeira
• Cardinals/Steve Carlton
• Mets/Tom Seaver
• Jets/John Riggins
• Mariners/Alex Rodriguez
• Oilers/Charlie Joiner
• Flames/Brett Hull
• Sabres/Dominick Hasek/Red Wings
• Texans/Andre Johnson

Hope you had a good time walking down the memory lane of certain sports breakups.

Back to my friend for my closing.  Good dude overall.  Everyone has their moments, and he had more than a few occasionally questionable actions over the years, but, at his core, he is a really, really good person.  I don’t know her well, and surely don’t want to get to know her NOW, given what is going down.  When he told me the story of how it went down, it sounded extremely unfair.  She lawyered up on my friend.  She had him served when she was out of town like a monster.  Like, cold, hard, robotic lawyer rules.  SO harsh.  And, my friend doesn’t deserve that treatment at all.  She refuses a mediator, won’t even hug him, and basically is treating him like a stranger.  Brutal.  HE, being the better person on this Earth, and also knowing the problems they had weren’t bad enough for lawyers, REFUSES to get a lawyer, no matter what he loses financially.  Now, you probably can understand why he was a great fraternity brother too.  He told me he always wants to look back on this horrible time, and know he was the much better person in the moment.  Man, I love that dude.  It might end up being stupid, but it IS drawing a line in the sand between wrong and right.  Bad and good.  Cold vs. emotional.  War vs. compromising.  Love it and then some…

Side note, before you judge me on my advice…no kids, so no real additional factors except for him, and her.  What I told him to do, because I am known as the ultimate optimist in life by all of my circles:

• Realize that she has thought about this for months, or years.
• Accept that it is done, no matter how painful.
• Be sad that you could have done things differently, but then understand it is too late.  So, don’t be sad anymore.
• Don’t pain yourself by hoping for a late decision change.  The tease will pain you.  Her friends probably were chirping in her ear too, so you are probably fighting not just her, but her whole friend group.
• Remember.  It sounds like that SHE is quitting on fixable things, and disrespecting the vows of marriage.
• I know you want to change.  She is not seeing that right now, and no temporary solution will do.
• Ignore what her family and friends will think about you.  You can’t change what she tells them, and their loyalty will always be with her.  Move on, not important.
• My book, Meditations (Marcus Aurelius, and just called out in my last blog, and definitely needed right now for him):  This part of the river has passed.  You can’t change that truth, nor that part of the river.  Now it is time to focus on the NEW part of river that is here or is coming.
• Once that is done, think STRONG thoughts.
• Think about the positive things.
• Think about where you want to go, where you have dreamed of being, and start packing physically, moving on mentally, and removing emotion from the process, like her.
• And, since everything where you are will remind you of her, and if your job allows you to do it, get out of there as soon as the process allows.  Fresh start, new surroundings.

If you think the athlete has a ceiling you aren’t seeing, trust your gut, not the finances.  If the athlete is beloved in the city, think twice before betraying that love.  If that athlete has pledged his career to you, show some loyalty and ride out the lesser, later years.  If you think your spouse’s WANT to change is real, stay the course.  If you said “I do” in your life, make damn sure it is not fixable before breaking those vows. And, if you decide it must end, split up with that athlete or spouse in a classy, touching way that is a symbol for that sacrifice and love to your team/spouse.  To my friend, I told you a lot of this stuff 1:1, but I hope you read it again.  You will be fine. You are only 51.  You will be more than fine.  You will be stellar in your next chapter.  It is better to find out now that your wife isn’t in it for the long haul, then later in life, when some of life’s exciting moments are more limited, and love is all you have.  She was probably going to bail in the worst of times anyway, I said.

I am a romantic, and will always be one.  I will spend the rests of my life writing songs, authoring poems, wanting walks along the beach, and crying during dog movies (I don’t care if that isn’t romantic-it is still cute-yes, I am going to see the first showing of the Brad Pitt/Dog movie on Friday).  And, it sounds like my friend’s wife is showing her true colors, and definitely is NOT a romantic.  Otherwise, she would do the necessary things to help my friend do what he wants to do anyway…get better.  Shame.  I hope he pulls a Brees or Brady.  He will.