Happiness in your household.
HAPPINESS IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD
By The Fillerbuster
The Cast 082618
SETTING:
Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for coming aboard (the boat). I need to squeeze in a blog as it has been a week, so just blowing off the late morning nice weather and going to bust one out in front of SportsCenter and baseball. I have some time as Lindsey is out, so not a rushed one, aside from me probably needing to accomplish some things in a bit on a Sunday afternoon. And no theme/title picked out as usual. We will see where it takes us. I feel the need…the need for speed.
Let’s turn and burn.
EVERGREEN (topics that don’t fade away):
- College football is back, people. What does it bring? It brings to the surface how 18-22 year ultra-talented kids operate when their coach has been the bad story of August. It brings out the yearly A) Bama haters or B) people simply tired of Bama just being in the mix (again). It brings back kids playing for a career at all and school pride as opposed to the next contract. It brings a schedule where literally every single game is important to the bigger picture, and where losses and wins will be broken down from every angle to figure out who are the best four teams. It brings out polls which will be questioned depending on which part of the country you are from. It brings out surprises, some seen from far away and some not. It brings out fan bases who have connections to the team, rather than just living there or switching over because they moved there. It brings forward towns that aren’t capital cities or a metropolis, but rather a special place where energy is high once a week. It brings out the MVP, which is called the Heisman, and is a very special club as opposed to simply a HOF booster resume item. It brings out hope. It brings forward magic. Something might be wrong with you if you don’t embrace every single second of the season. I know I will. Even if UVA football stinks.
- Urban Meyer apologized separately to Courtney Smith after a public apology that mentioned the victims about as much as Madonna mentioned Aretha Franklin in her “tribute” to the singing queen. So, not only did Urban Meyer sound fake and distant in his first apology, but then he responds after media coverage blasted him for that apology. If that doesn’t sound forced, I don’t know what is. Listen, we all know there are dark secrets at every single super power football school. We get it. As long as you don’t get caught, those secrets stay…secrets. But, if you are not the most transparent person AFTER you get caught, then who are you really? Own it. Be humble. Acknowledge victims’ pain as opposed to Buckeye Nation. Think about this. UNC players (nine total) got a four game suspension for selling sneakers illegally. Urban Meyer got three games for hiding legal info, staff info, abusive acts, evil texts, sex toys, genital showing from the White House, etc. It is sad and wrong, whichever way you slice it and however it went down. But, when caught, try to be a real person and show us true empathy. You failed, Urban.
- College football picks for 2018
- USC will again start slow in September and, without an experienced QB to lead them, will limp to a three or four loss finish. Although their freshman QB WILL be dynamite eventually.
- I like Michigan and them finally having a true QB, Shea Patterson. But, I don’t like road games at ND, Michigan State, and Ohio State.
- I like Auburn also, but having to go TO UGA and Bama will give them one too many losses for the playoff.
- For sleepers, I love TCU and West Virginia.
- Quietly, this might be the best Washington team Chris Peterson has had, and WITH an experienced QB at the helm.
- If the QB-WR combo is as stat producing as it looks to be, West Virginia might host a game at their crib against OU to go to the college football playoff.
- Georgia will be in the mix, but I see them dropping one too many games for the end game.
- This whole Urban Meyer thing will indirectly cost OSU at least one game they can’t lose.
- Penn State will still be scary this year, folks.
- I believe the fate of Quintez Cephus (being looked into for sexual assault) dictates whether Wisconsin makes the final four or not. They have the other pieces.
- If only OU could have THIS much improved defense with LAST year’s QB.
- My playoff picks? Bama (doesn’t matter which QB), Clemson (their defensive line is one of the best ever), West Virginia (if the defense makes any improvements, they surely don’t need to worry about their offense), and Washington (a very, very complete team). I sub in Wisconsin for West Virginia IF Cephus plays the whole year.
- NET is the NCAA Evaluation Tool. This is the new equation judging March Madness teams. You could just say that college basketball has simply found a new name for the system that will screw over your college hoops team, but I will say that, after 37 years, the RPI had to be improved. They did ok on that improvement, but of course now we have to see how it plays out in real time analysis. It is relatively simple, and Google helped build it, so at least we know that some of the smartest people were involved.
- Team value: Simple win-loss vs what level of quality of competition
- Wins: Simple
- Adjusted winning percentage: Bonus points for road victories, and you get docked for home losses
- Now for the interesting ones…
- Efficiency: PREDICTIVE element that takes in account a team’s offensive and defensive points scored and allowed
- Scoring margin: Capped at 10 points (all levels were analyzed), this gives some bonus points for winning by more. It will be interesting to see how this affects point spreads in games also.
- Bottom line is that the RPI was dated, this is a flexible system that can be modified, and there are new items for people to complain about.
- I am putting this item in “evergreen” because it is that important. And, I won’t add to it since it is well written and speaks for itself. As we dive into the new college football season, and some QB’s, RB’s and WR’s will have spectacular seasons for the record books, and when you talk to someone at the bar about best running backs ever, here is a reminder of the most magical of all RB seasons. Barry Sanders was, is, and will always be the man. http://www.espn.com/college-football/story/_/id/24440133/the-untold-stories-barry-sanders-record-setting-1988-season
- Kind of interesting reading about his addiction to naps and sweets too.
- The beauty of the beginning of every sports season is that the best and worst teams are all 0-0. Fresh starts, new beginnings, yada yada yada. But, this year is even more exciting. And I even buy into to a degree this year for one of our favorite lovable losers, the Cleveland Browns. This IS different this year. They have the #1 pick who will sit on the bench initially, but who EVERYONE is watching. They have talent galore at WR. They have a proven QB starter who provides ball security if nothing else. They have a drastically improved defense. They have people betting on them at the casinos. For the first time in a while, the Browns have legitimate hope. My only problem with all of this is the following. I agree they have a LOT more talent, but as I look at their schedule, I wonder how of this unbridled enthusiasm (killer Seinfeld reference) will be left stranded before week 5. They can beat the Jets in Cleveland in the third game. But the other three games of that opening four game set are the Steelers, at the Saints, and at the Raiders. They will definitely be better, and might even give a run at 8-8. But, they will start off rocky, and here is hoping those fans can stay positive and not expect TOO much. Tough division to win any year.
- I finally caught Super Troopers 2 this weekend, and although it is an abrasively funny movie about jokes mostly, it had a theme I wanted to cover in the evergreen section. The movie constantly is reflecting on both what Americans are along with how we present ourselves to other nations and cultures. Hilarious in the movie, but unfortunately true to a point elsewhere. I wanted to write a few sentences to slowly start paying it forward and having our image improved. We grow up in a free country with lots of “stuff.” We think it is our way or the highway. That is a shame. I know. Not ALL of us do this, but enough that we have a stereotype. So, here is what I want to say. When you go other places, recognize and respect. You might not know their language and that is ok. And maybe put it on your to do list like I am. But, in the meantime, recognize how LUCKY we are to grow up on a globe where a LOT of countries learn English for US, where we don’t grow up and learn other languages for THEM. We are lucky. Recognize this fact, and don’t take it lightly. This leads me to the second item. Respect. Whatever you don’t know is ok. Whatever you don’t understand, you will find a way. But, know that everything from wearing your shoes inside, how to order food, public etiquette, eye contact, handshakes, etc. are DIFFERENT. Don’t assume the polite method in our culture resonates in their culture. Don’t assume what is rude in our culture means they are being rude. Research what you can, be as prepped as you can be, treat everyone with respect and humility, and stop being the American that other countries make jokes about. Every time you travel, you have a chance to make a small dent in our global stereotype.
WEEK-FISH (current quick hitter topics of interest in sports):
- CSU made a valiant comeback against Hawaii last night. I am a little bitter about taking the under in the score fest, but the fact that they were seventeen point favorites was not a good sign. I guess the rule to follow is this. Take Hawaii and the points when the time change in between weeks is NOT a factor. The loss already takes some of the luster off the CU-CSU showdown though.
- Yesterday definitely convinced me that Duquesne can scrap their football program whenever they see fit. Because UMass is not exactly a juggernaut.
- Wyoming got an impressive win last night on the road against a very not impressive New Mexico State team.
- Who cares though? College football is BACK and we love it. Thursday is where the shit hits the fan.
- They won’t make the playoffs again, but trust me that baseball is MUCH better having Mike Trout back from injury.
- Julius Thomas probably should never have left the Broncos years ago. We know this, and he never hit that higher plateau we expected him to. But, you also can’t fault a guy for being very good at the most violent sport to get his PHD either. Smart kid who is leaving the sport injury free to do bigger things.
- Majors are done in golf for 2018 (makes me sad), Tigermania proved it still exists in full force, he will play three straight now, we have the Ryder Cup coming up, and Fed Ex Cup is going on, but something tells me that we care a little more about Phil and him playing for $9 million more than anything right about now in golf. November 23rd, folks.
- At least Phil joined Twitter finally before the match.
- Every boxer has a sneer or stare that is downright scary. That being said, I never though I would see a boxer literally LEAVE the ring after intros. Last week, one did exactly that.
- The Giants are already overpaying players such as Eli Manning. Given that as the proof in this theorem, I see no problem with them giving OBJ a record contract.
- I have told everyone who asks that this is the swan song for the Steelers as we know it. Big Ben will tease retirement again, and Bell will leave also. So, with that being said, I was kind of happy SI had them at least IN the Super Bowl against the Falcons in 2018 predictions.
- How come the Falcons are the ONLY big time sports franchise who can sell $5 craft beers and cheap food at games?
- I guess drones are real in cheating. The Steelers built a covering/wall for their practice field. Steel Curtain jokes can now continue.
- Not watching football isn’t a crime. It is ok. But, when you host a sports show on television ABOUT football, then you probably should keep that secret to yourself, Michelle Beadle.
- Stop it already with the old tweets items. Michael Kopech is the latest guy crucified for tweets when he was 17 years old…racist tweets. We were all idiots as kids. Let’s bury this thing and only bring to light PRESENT tweets. Michael isn’t planning on running for POTUS per my info, so we are good.
- (and with Trump as POTUS, I think we have already proven that NOTHING really matters in who we elect if Michael DID want to run)
- Everyone was talking about how LeBron, KD, and Kawhi all worked out together in SoCal. I personally was most happy about Lonzo Ball NOT being there.
- Pulling out all the stops is not a bad thing, even if everyone and their mother KNOW what you are doing in such an obvious fashion. Hiring Kawhi’s buddy the Raptors are hoping is SOME sort of trump card.
- That is a lot of strokes and heart attacks, Lamar.
- The Nationals traded away Daniel Murphy the other day (of course, AFTER the “trade deadline”), so odds are they will somehow start winning a little more and barely miss the playoffs, and wonder what if. I guess it is better than flaming out IN the playoffs though.
- Trendy stuff gets old, but Fournette adding a $100 bill to his weekly uniform (signifying 100 yards) is something I think I like. Good idea.
- I guess the good news with the new NFL helmet rule is that people at bars will have plenty of other opportunities to go to the bathroom.
- Richie Incognito recently started trouble at a FUNERAL home. So, whether at the gym or funeral home, that dude should wear a mood bracelet so people know how to talk with him.
- Stare at the car or the tiger when not staring at Baker Mayfield in his new underwear ads, but tell your friends that the tiger IS the same one from The Hangover.
- I suppose there really can’t be TOO many trained tigers floating around.
- An ex-A&M linebacker says that Jimbo Fisher is already committing violations on his watch. Someone tell Jimbo that you are supposed to win unexpectedly fast FIRST, and THEN we find out how you are cheating. Not the other way around.
- I really wish the Standing Rock tribe would have read the Kyrie Irving article on saying the earth is flat BEFORE picking some earth related nickname for him. They chose Little Mountain. Flat Earth would have been so much better.
- One of the oddities about NBA free agency this year was how fast Paul George accepted a deal with OKC. I kind of respect him for not window shopping during the process. I also tend to think Russell Westbrook is much more likable and a better teammate than we give him credit for.
- Don’t forget to be reading Why Your Team Sucks on Deadspin every day. It is magical reading.
- He might be a hell of a trivia question someday for switching teams so much, but did you hear what Jay Gruden said about A.P.’s workout with the Skins? Said he wasn’t even tired, and that was half the reason they signed him. Physical FREAK.
- I have decided that watching Hard Knocks while writing my blog is perfect background atmosphere.
- Not TOTALLY sure, but I swear I saw a Rick Ankiel mound siting this week. Maybe it was an old story. But I still use him in my jokes about anyone suddenly forgetting how to do anything they have mastered in their life.
- Someone just nudge me when televised practices are done in the NFL, please. I haven’t watched a minute no matter HOW excited I am for football.
- Denver DOES have a touch of Philly in them, I guess. They booed Paxton Lynch the other day.
- I think that when you piggy back on a super team to win a title and have only averaged 11 points per game in your career, you should probably stay out of trouble. Nick Young does not agree with this theory.
- For football fan reasons, and not the Jags, I hope Marquise Lee is OK after that gruesome looking injury he suffered.
- Victor Cruz heads to the ESPN booth after effectively beating the system by being an undersized receiver who had some great years, overachieved, won a Super Bowl, and had a fancy dance in the end zone that caught on.
THIS AND THAT (pop culture, Fillerbuster thoughts, and whatever else I feel like talking about):
- If you live in Denver, check out the link I provided below with adventures three hours or less from Denver. I know I am using that list moving forward.
- It depends on the day whether I will tell you that I have learned the intricacies of baseball betting, but I will say this. One, I decided to go big on the Red Sox and Phillies conveniently during a slide by both teams. Two, I am glad football is back.
- I am more mad that I followed on Saturday every single pick from a site where the guy gets PAID to write predictions, and I guess that guy had a write off day too.
- I sit on my PC every time she watches it as I multi-task, but I have to say that Orange is the New Black isn’t a HORRIBLE compromise show. Better than Dateline.
- The finale of Sharp Objects is on tonight, and if you haven’t been watching the slow burn series, let’s just say they have set up the slow burn with an EXPLOSION in the finale. I won’t be waiting until tomorrow night to watch it. The show is SO well done.
- After some prelim research and surveys, I think Lindsey and I might choose Austin, TX as our NYE destination this year.
- Some things you never want tampered with. They are on a level that there can be NO conspiracy. True, I always wonder how singers die and there are still loads of hits left in their arsenal, but Sony released fake MICHAEL JACKSON ones? That is horrible.
- To this day, I still love the song Stacy’s Mom for some reason. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4
- Lindsey heads to England, Scotland, Croatia and a bunch of other stops for two weeks starting Tuesday. She asked me if she should go the eight miles from their hotel to try and see the loch ness Monster. Aside from the fact that I believe a LOT of these monsters exist, I said definitely.
- Went to the zoo for free last week because Linds is a government employee. One, I had NO idea that everyone ALSO arrives when the doors open. Two, I had no idea, after all of these years, that all the animals are all awake for the most part in the morning. Three, birth control contenders are festivals, airports, and now zoos.
- So, a Utah pilot crashed a plane into his house attempting to kill his wife and just killed HIM? Bad plan, bro.
- After finding out that she “only” did 39 of 103 restaurants in last year’s PassBook, we apparently aren’t going anywhere unless it is in that book. You have to have goals.
- Recess (Highlands) looked a cool drinking place during happy hour and had lots of dogs to look at, but I their brunch is just so-so.
- The Lime scooters are just the best, and I saw like 12 people on them before 10am on Saturday morning, so others know too.
- I was the biggest MoviePass fan on the face of the earth when it came out. And, I enjoyed it plenty. But, I also knew that there was no way that business model would work long term. It didn’t. Linds and I were looking at the now “limited” options available to us. They sucked, and I didn’t even recognize half of them. Limited? I would say B Movies is more like it. Mad at you all. Give me my $10 back monthly.
- The Tour De Fat bike event traditionally was a great event for biking, beer, food, and vendors. They charge $17 now? That is absurd. The stuff isn’t free once you get in, so am I just paying for the space to group a bunch of people together now? We didn’t go.
- Just like hockey players do a playoff beard, I am doing a playoff goatee. I am growing my facial hair (wife is out of town for two weeks, so using that as leverage) out until I hit my annual sales goal. I hope to do that by end of September, and now my wife has two reasons to root for that. I just really miss the soul patch part of it. Doing that now.
- Got my favorite workout in on Saturday. Hoops, gym, boxing, swim. That is my workout “hitting for the cycle.”
- I admit now that I live nearby that Little Man ice cream is extremely off the hook and delicious.
- Lost in life? A security guard documented his farts for 6 months on video online. Once again, and as Dennis Leary once said, you have to have goals.
- Murder on the Orient Express was not only a meshing of big time actors and actresses, but a smart movie overall I have to say. Pretty well done, and worth a look. The only depressing thing for me was my smart wife figured it out before the plot really even got going. I am used to that though. The whole rest of the movie was me saying “shit, she might be right.”
- So, we had our company anniversary party the other day. The band songs went fine (I am in the band). What I really was taken by was that our other facility now has ALL the games that would allow me to do NO work. Bags, hoops, billiards, and foosball.
- Big announcement from the guy who ranks burgers continuously. We have a new #1 locally. The Old Major (Highlands) Double Burger is ridiculous. My new #1. The odd thing about it is that they don’t dress it up. They keep it simple, and the patties are only 4 oz each. It looks like a fancy Wendy’s burger at first glance. Must be strategic though. I was literally sad when I finished the burger. Didn’t even think about ketchup, mustard, or whatever. I plan on eating about 10 of them while Linds is out of the country. The ham and cheese biscuits were also ridiculous. Even the iced tea was the best.
- Just got wind of the Jacksonville shooting as I am writing this. What kind of world is this becoming?
- The Family Guy Good Will Hunting skit becomes funnier now that Ben Affleck has checked into rehab.
- The Purge is coming out, and as I have said, when the plot becomes boring and you don’t know where to go to make money, you might as well go back to the beginning. Think of it as an improv version of Star Wars (making earlier versions later) without the quality or coolness.
- If you think you already hear Sweet Home Alabama more times than you should, their sadly departed guitarist from our world will probably get it some more plays.
- We are working on a Vegas trip in October to tag along with my work one, and just bought Love tickets. I believe that will complete the circuit for us on all of the good present shows in Vegas except for the Michael Jackson one. Absinthe is still the best one in my opinion.
- You might have taken it simply as news, but I was legitimately SAD about the Eagles overtaking Michael Jackson as the most bought album ever. I also absolutely despise the Eagles, but that is a whole other story.
- What I am NOT sad about is that Big Bang Theory is calling it quits soon. Hate that show…except for the blond.
- Combine the fact that my house near the city AND North Carolina firefighters can’t get service from Verizon, and I might start shopping around. Maybe they are cutting costs.
- Hey, Colorado guy who killed your family. Your tragic story even made the GLOBAL CNN 5 Things To Know. Not a good thing. You are a monster, and the interviews before they were found are chilling.
- I watched a virtual reality act on America’s Got Talent (compromise wife-husband show) and it made me think that although it was cool, I don’t like acts that rely on technology rather than talent. We have to draw the line in this age. Otherwise, it will just be all about technology.
- Just so you can sleep at night, YES, they are already working on a sequel for Crazy Rich Asians since it is doing so well. I have not seen it, and probably won’t until I am staring at the wall at home with no plans and two hours to kill.
- Just like there is a slippery slope in the sports Hall of Fame voting, there must be the same for Hollywood. How Jenifer Garner is getting a star is beyond me.
- Scary fact I learned in my training at work. Twenty two states can still terminate employment because of your sexual orientation.
- A trip to The Melting Pot is on deck for tonight, which means a good meal, but more importantly, the $7 purchase of the magical garlic wine seasoning they sell there. I put it literally on everything.
- I had my second dance class this week. Don’t worry about me trying out for So You Think You Can Dance, but should be fun to actually know what I am doing on a dance floor at a wedding.
- My pools for 2018 football. FFL1, FFL2, Losers 1, Losers 2, Losers Points 1, Office Pool. I like to keep busy.
- My wife bought me aioli to put on my processed meat sandwiches for work. This means I am now living on the edge and changing my daily routine. Because now they are totally NEW sandwiches. To think, I didn’t know what aioli was ten years ago. Or did it just get invented?
- Saw that coming. PETA now has problems with the cages on animal crackers packaging.
- I read an article on CNN that said even West Wing and House of Cards watches would have thought the writers jumped ship in the plot with the Cohen and Manafort items. Except that the plot is actually happening in real life.
- Why is there no breakfast lasagna?
- Almond milk is for suckers.
- Waiting for next yard games with people drinking when you are not is like watching paint dry.
- I didn’t lose a bags game all day and night though at our party.
- Why is KBPI playing Imagine Dragons on their station? Kind of breaks the rules of tough music, right?
- Linds and I just booked hotel and flights to Bedlam this year. Love the town of Norman.
- I am getting slightly out of hand with my Google Docs and not really sure how I lived without them previously.
- Super Troopers 2 was fun. Don’t go looking for an Oscar and you will enjoy.
- Why does the U.S. not do the metric system?
- Watch the first one right before as there are many carryover jokes.
- Anytime you get a Fred Savage appearance, it is a good day.
- Anytime you get Rob Lowe with a French accent, it is a good day.
- Anytime you get a Stiffler appearance, it is a good day.
- Anytime you get that big guy from Mad TV, it is a good day.
- Anytime you get that bear that is in every movie it seems, it is a good day.
- Fun movie. And in this day and age of sequels struggling to find a reason to exist, the plot worked.
- I didn’t know that you just put an egg in water to find out if it is good or bad to eat.
- I have just been informed that I have access to ALL of the cheese in the fridge while Linds is away, and THAT is a good day.
TWEET OF THE WEEK:
I am not figuring out how to put videos on a WordPress post today, so just look at the cat tweet on August 23rd and the old person tweet on August 24th. Otherwise, I have this for you.
THE BEST WORKOUT SONG EVER FOR THIS WEEK:
INCUMBENT: Medicated https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLKp7bG–os
NEWCOMER: Infrared https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwGS4Yn5qLo
LINKS TO SAVE YOU TIME IN LIFE:
CLOSING:
I have to go do stuff. I have plenty of time in the next two weeks to write more.
The title of the blog? Well, you would have to watch the movie, because the funniness gets a little gray area. My mom reads this.
That’s it for today. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog again? That is a CLOWN question, bro.
PICS:
Just four pics today. Nothing too exciting. The setup for our house party (yes, there are pools in the background that WERE used) and a couple pics from the zoo that bird exhibit that was pretty cool.
And if you think that Jenga didn’t get action packed, her friend fell IN the pool after a move.
And, in case you care about what I threw back in the pond, here you go…
| THROW IT BACK |
| darnold looks good again |
| AP looks good |
| Texas boy dies collapses |
| fed ex playoffs |
| Josef Martinez record 28th season goal |
| mlb nicknames |
| Posey opts surgery 6-8 months |
| Verlander charged mil for lunch |
| Brady trainer flies with team |
| lsu reinstates kristian fulton |
| ex-msu coach lied |
| Giants mock Asian accent |
| French open bans Serena catsuit 2019 |
| 2 friends in Hawaii now |
| Taylor injury Baker fans hoping |
| nfl preseason 5-0 browns eagles |
| more md ad used terps funds for sexual assault |
| lsu g instagram sexual assault |
| unc topples confederate statue |
| nfl suspend Jimmy smith 4 |
| Cubs shut down darvish |
| john mccain dies |
| elephant video 5 things |
| nba shot clock, hostile act, clear path revisited |
| 49ers lions annual trade arnold |
| 49ers deal kneeler |
| slacker sales people not jumping on leads |
| Sherman launching ffl site |
| colts announcer uses n word retires |
| Pat’s release Britt third wr |
| raiders Rodgers cromartie |
| cyborg nunez UFC 232 |
| Frederick autoimmune |
| Sooners Murray starter |
| ginobli retire? |
| Aaron Sanchez injured on suitcase handle |
| yanks chapman hurt-knee |
| bama loses another lb for season |
| fury wins Wilder next |
| llws |
| stadler club hits fan |
| lsu wr arrested battery suspended |
| mccarron collar bone fracture |
| sale back on dl |
| zamir white rb uga acl |
| 5 wvu players hand, foot, mouth |
| Sunday night baseball last chance |
| Zion continues amazing |
| Landry dirty block |
| biles first woman in 24 years to get high score in all 5 events |
| rousey wins something in wwe |
| ufc fighter green hurt in 5 car crash |
| suh mocks dolphins on instagram |
| elway-kaep |
| dodgers get jansen back |
| tirico to host football night in america |
