When you hear the sound of thunder…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Evening rant.  Just like Twitter allows only 140 characters, I am tired, I am in a rush, and I am damn well doing one single sentence per hook.  List is full.  I told Lindsey to give me 1.15 hours.  Big promise.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1)       Greetings and salutations, and I won’t thank you for joining me, as we are limited one sentence per hook.

2)      Nice start for the Heisman, Todd Gurley.

3)      Louisville is giving the U all they can handle right now.

4)      I hope Cerk doesn’t mind I am using his Watch ESPN password.

5)      I wish I knew some CU people to tease.

6)      In that light, I wish I knew some more people.

7)      I wish I knew some other dudes who cried during the movie For The Love of the Game.

8)      I wish I knew that UVA football was going to cover the 20 points against UCLA.

9)      I wish more people would hold fake fantasy football drafts that involved 2 hours of free beer.

10)   I have realized that if I died tomorrow, I haven’t accomplished crap except for loving a woman more than life itself and working harder than anyone in life-I plan on changing that.

11)   ( I wish) Now that I know that RGIII has a statue, I want one.

12)   I wish that LA Tech wouldn’t have scored that last score to beat the spread against OU-so glad I am retired and just a consultant.

13)   I wish I had a dog.

14)   I wish I had a dude who was local who knew enough about sports and liked PBR that we could hang out all the time.

15)   I wish that the Steelers would pick up cut WR Nate Burleson.

16)   I wish that the Spurs would sign Ray Allen so I could make some jokes.

17)   I wish that my son would be like Holyfield’s son and score 7 TD’s in one game.

18)   I wish that I don’t have any kids so I can travel.

19)   I wish I had enough money to get turned down from buying the Buffalo Bills.

20)   I wish I didn’t have jokes about a QB from NY that punched an opponent.

21)   I wish that people who are reading this blog know that I usually have higher quality.

22)   I wish that I had an intern to add pictures to this to make it funnier.

23)   I wish that people would spend time in Oregon and Colorado so they could get the pot going legal jokes a little bit better.

24)   I wish that the US Open wouldn’t be played during the opening weekend of college football.

25)   I wish someone could explain to me how during our fake fantasy football Nick got three QB’s in his first 7 picks using autodrafts.

26)   And Lindsey ended up with 8 RB’s.

27)   I wish someone could explain the genius of the trade of Ryan Mallet from the Pats.

28)   I wish I could meet and have 13 Jagers with the Brewers’ prospect who played all nine positions in one freaking game.

29)   I wish that someone would realize to never play me in pool-walk off bank 8 ball long style Saturday after walking off after 6 straight games the night before..

30)   I wish someone could have a longer conversation with my buddy, Eric, who took Phillip Rivers as the #1 pick OVERALL in our fake fantasy football draft.

31)   I wish that someone could have given me a hug after Navy didn’t beat the spread after I told people that 15 was too little and 18 was perfect.

32)   I wish that someone and I could talk about how weird of movie American Beauty is, but how GOOD it is.

33)   I wish that all women could go to sleep with 007-Diamonds are Forever on the tube.

34)   I wish that everyone could have a turkey leg at the Taste of Colorado, and know that they are officially a couple if you can share one.

35)   I wish that more people would realize that Brazil and Spain are going to scare the shit out of the USA in the basketball World Cup.

36)   I wish that I would either go below 485 Twitter followers or over 500-I am stuck.

37)   I wish that I could feel the rush of just being a consultant at betting games all the time.

38)   I wish that my military half price TRX comes tomorrow.

39)   I wish that the Chiefs would stop thinking that Alex Smith is Trent Dilfer and might win them a championship.

40)   I wish that I wouldn’t see when Gone in Seconds is on TV, because I am a sucker for it every time.

41)   I wish Uber’s update would let me order cars again and not ask for an update, because cabs suck.

42)   I wish other people could have as much fun as I do when hanging out with no one else.

43)   I wish that no one took my betting picks from this week as I like 2-3 weeks to get in the groove.

44)   I wish that no manager on a team with a horribly losing record takes out a pitcher who is throwing a no hitter-Phillies.

45)   I wish that people will realize that USC is no one to be trifled with this year-nephew saver or not.

46)   I wish more people knew that is a Princess Bride reference.

47)   I wish that more people would understand that Champ Bailey getting cut is an end of an era, and that the Pats will probably pick him up.

48)   I wish more people realize that the A’s winning the World Series this year AND Adam Dunn retiring will be so cool.

49)   I wish more people understood how big of win UGA over Clemson was, and that Clemson might be the greatest 0-2 football team of all time in a couple weeks.

50)   I wish people understood that we need to respect the Rams for not getting caught in the hype and letting Michael Sam…when he needs to be let go.

51)   I wish people knew about the fact that there were about ten million people watching the LSU comeback and saying “we just need 1.5 more points.”

52)   I wish FSU would get a tougher schedule, or that the ACC would just be better.

53)   I wish Nike and Under Armour would realize that Durant has NOT won a title.

54)   I wish I cared that more about NASCAR.

55)   I wish Aldon Smith would have been penalized the entire season.

56)   I wish I cared more about club soccer, but didn’t know SO much about national soccer.

57)   I wish Lionel Richie still sang for the Commodores.

58)   I wish that the original Credence guys were still in the band but quite impressed that they still sound like them.

59)   I wish that the Astros wouldn’t have sold me on the five year plan and patience and then fired their manager after a couple years.

60)   I wish more media would have covered the “ice cream incident” with Montero.

61)   I wish that David Ash didn’t have concussion symptoms, as the school is having enough problems to lose another weapon.

62)   I wish that Bama wouldn’t consider a two QB system.

63)   I wish that Wes Welker wouldn’t have concussion problems.

64)   I wish that Rory keeps kicking ass on the PGA tour.

65)   I wish that McDonald wouldn’t say “he is a good hearted person” after being the first person busted for domestic violence since Goodell’s monologue.

66)   I wish that I knew if LeBron actually attended Wade’s wedding, because maybe I would have a joke about it.

67)   I wish that I knew what the hell was going on about this nude celebs beings shown all over the internet, and that I had a different non work computer.

68)   I wish that all of you read Deadspin.

69)   I wish that…that is it.  (breath).  Hope you enjoyed, or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

70)  Louisville is SO dangerous.  Watch your back, FSU.  Read my Catch of the Day from yesterday,

71)  The theme is “making a wish,” and because I already used For the Love of the Game as a theme.