Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
NEW FORMAT: 20 minutes, hard stop.
NOTE: I am chilling at home with my busted toe elevated. Time is not an issue. Therefore, this is another rant without a time limit. I am just going to stop when I feel like I am done for today.
I feel the need…the need, for speed.
1) Who’d have thunk? Cole Hamels and R.A. Dickey clash in a big game before the All Star break and what happens? One gives up 5 ER and one gives up 4 ER. Both are sent to the clubhouse early. I guess I can’t be too mad at Cole. He plunks youngsters (my boy, technically (besides Chase Utley)) and says dumb shit after, but at least the dude is balling like the other guys on the Phillies field SHOULD be doing. Thirteen games back presently as we head into the weekend, behind a team that the Fillerbuster actually blogged quite a long time ago that they would be about where they are at presently. I am painfully happy…or in ecstatic melancholy.
1a) Did ANYONE go out and take those 200-1 odds on the Nationals I said to do at last season’s end?? Anyone?
2) I like the move basketball and personel wise, but a hell of a lot to gamble on after the kid had like a 7 week demonstration for all of us. The Rockets sign Jeremy Lin for 4 years. I hope it works, and put me in the rooting for Houston corner. Worse case scenario, they are in the running for the most AMOUNT of moves during the draft and free agency in one season. Just remember, Houston, what John Wooden once said. “Don’t mistake activity with achievement.”
3) Former WR Amani Toomer has declared that Tony Romo is better than Eli Manning. Hell, I am not even a Manning family fan, and I wish you would keep your comments to yourself, Amani. You are retired/ slashed phased out. The Hall is not calling. We don’t care. Sure, football fans recognize potential and physical skills, but when one QB is relatively close behind the other in physical skills AND has two rings that he pretty much won himself WHILE the other is approaching about the 5th “breakout” season, I am going with the hardware, bro. Even if you have a comeback for this, Amani, perhaps I am still mad at you for the 6 years I got sucked into picking you as a backup receiver in fantasy football. Whatever. Moving on.
4) Speaking of fantasy football, Eli, and Tony, I want to say again my firm rule in fantasy football. Fantasy football should NOT change the way you watch your favorite team play. My colleague, Brian (the newly married guy), just asked me today if he should make this trade that was offered. He gave up Eli Manning for the following players: Tony Romo, Ravens D, AND Anquan Boldin. After staring at the options and saying the affirmative, I simply asked this. Is this guy a Giants fan? Yes, he was, Brian answered. Sad. Fantasy football is a monetary investment. It is a version of gambling. Gambling should not involve your teams. Sure, I try to pick up the Steelers D EVERY year, but name one game where you are not rooting for your teams defense?? That is fine. However, when you are rooting for passes on 2nd and 1, want pass deflections to YOUR receiver, and then become THAT guy at the bar, then it is too much. Unless it literally drops in my lap when people are picking kickers, I don’t have any offensive Steelers players on my team. Watch the game, your team, and separate that shit from Fantasy Football. Uggghh.
5) Ex-Georgia RB Isaiah Crowell aka weapons guy arrested earlier this week will be transferring to Alabama State. I am sending Lawrence Phillips to come pick you up, Isaiah. You will be happier that way, trust me. And I can get a new Rant Squad member. ALWAYS looking for talent.
6) NASCAR is not interested in mandatory cautions. I didn’t click on it. I DO know what a caution is, and I know what the word mandatory means. That being said, being the Fillerbuster, I am simply reporting it…
7) Why is The Colbert Report suddenly on BEFORE The Daily Show? You guys are screwing up my groove. I am used to Stewart being pretty funny to get me in the zone, and then my boy Colbert tearing the house down afterwards. Call it heterosexual political humor foreplay (wow, that was an odd comment, Fillerbuster (I evidently am talking like Rickey Henderson again)). Maybe Stewart is mad that one of his apprentices is beating him down at political humor. I don’t know. But, it does give me a chance to rehash this point. If you want to become a Colbert follower online, you have to sign a pledge to try and kill any bear that crosses your path, as Stephen thinks that bears are “Godless killing machines.” Over the years, it has been hilarious watching ANY segment on them. Here are a couple for you all if you have not caught them previously.
8) Depending on my toe, I can’t wait to try and catch the Silva/ Sonnen fight tomorrow night. I say that it is because of my toe and walking because I am NOT shelling out money to see it. I used to work at a place that still is decent and doesn’t charge you at the door to watch UFC. Still. They COULD make money, but they choose the higher road. Here is a shout out for the Denver folks: http://haytersandco.com/ ANYWAY, Sonnen is very unlikable and VERY brash, but his statements have been cleaner than Silva’s. I am officially rooting for Sonnen in this one. I like the trash talking, and admit that it is the most rugged sport out there, but I still can’t buy into the whole arms, legs, teeth thing. And I LOVED Sonnen’s reply about his will. As far as fighting, if you watch that first fight, Sonnen HAD him. He just fell asleep at the wheel right near the end and wasn’t expecting the sudden move. He will be ready for anything, and I think his wrestling background wins this one for him.
9) For my last cringing “should I feel bad for laughing at that joke” moment on Family Guy, Peter made a comment about war hero and ex-NFL player Pat Tilman. Lindsey and I BOTH laughed, looked at each other in insecurity (wondering if we should feel righteous about laughing), and then kept laughing. No, I am NOT going to repeat the joke. My blog is edgy, but I don’t know if I have the balls to go those places. Anyway, damn, Seth, you do LIVE in the gray area.
9a) Go see Ted, people, to get a taste. Clever, storyline, and VERY gray area MOST of the time.
10) Sure, I predicted Tsonga to beat Murray in the Wimbledon semi’s, but the guy’s time IS going to come-he is TOO good. That being said, I am happy for Murray and will root AND watch in case the special moment of an English guy finally taking down Wimbledon since the ’30’s. Weird. This is Murray’s first final in his homeland, even though it feels like he has been in every semifinal for the last 8 Grand Slams. Well, I guess I should laugh at myself, because that COULD be true, and it would only be two shots at Wimbledon (since there are 4 Grand Slams-I could flow chart it). Silly me. ANYWAY, wake up early, and enjoy some great tennis on Sunday morning. Federer wins and he ties Sampras for most Wimbledon titles all time, and Murray wins, and you will see a previously quiet crowd…throw strawberries and champagne glasses and yell really, really loud.
11) Is it just me, or is Matrix VERY similar to Star Wars? Matrix is when Neo/ Luke doesn’t understand the powers he has, but we see glimpses that are fun and badass. In Reloaded, he is just starting to get cocky, but doesn’t have full control over all of his powers. In Revolutions, he might as well say “these are not the droids you are looking for” in the opening scene. Neo/ Luke is fully there. Too bad the Matrix didn’t set us up with Episode 4 shit, then he would be set for another 3 episodes (SO smart, George Lucas). Shame he would leave behind Mr. Oscar Chasing (lol) Reeves. Ohhh. ANOTHER similarity, they BOTH have HORRIBLE actors in roles that the masses LOVED. Crazy shit. Damn, I threw away my lightsaber in my last move.
11a) I am SORRY if this is already documented ALL over the internet. I promise I thought of this not too reaching idea on my own, don’t care if it is original or not, and am not too hip with the times. Forgive me please.
12) Something to watch, people. Brandon Roy has convinced the right people about his health and was picked up by the Timberwolves. Let’s be excited about him making a comeback from a serious injury AND the following. Think about it. Roy, if he can make it back, was a former multiple All Star. Kevin Love IS an All Star. Ricky Rubio WILL be an All Star. Wow, this could be the quietest Big Three I have ever seen. Agree with me or not, this will be a fun as hell team to watch. Hopefully, they are not just mid 2000’s Phoenix Sun fun, and maybe something more legitimate.
13) The 76ers released Elton Brand today. Dude has had a WEIRD career. When he came out of school, I thought he was the easiest lock for a solid NBA player with a long career. Injuries, underperforming, and wrong fitting teams have plagued him. I will say this. If I am a decent team with some need for size at all, I am picking him up as a back up. I guess since I make fun of Rashard Lewis on a regular basis and his ridiculous contract, I HAVE to poke a LITTLE fun at the fact that Brand was supposed to make EIGHTEEN million dollars next year in salary. Yikes.
14) Hey, Ray Allen. I know, I know. The Heat just won, and you can go get spot up jumpers from two of best attacking hybrid position players in the game. And Miami is beautiful, and warm. But, don’t do it, bro. The rest of your crew is back and Jason Terry will be in the fold. Sure, you might split some playing time with Jason, but stay in Boston. Give it one last run with your boys. As Charles Barkley said so eloquently during this whole age of BUILDING Big Threes, ” I looked at Larry Bird after games. I didn’t want to play WITH him. I wanted to BEAT him.” Boston is a great town. Stay put. Your legacy is secure. The Fillerbuster (still talking like Rickey Henderson evidently) will root for you to take down LeBron.
15) Hey, it is the tennis version of MJ in the making. Radwanska is “fighting an illness.” That would be awesome, to see her battling Serena, throwing up in between games. I hear she can’t talk. Guess we don’t have to worry about her getting busted by the future moanmeter (my personal name for the gadget coming out in a few years).
16) Dustin Pedroia is hurt again. Is he TRYING to be the baseball version of Tracy McGrady?
17) Ryan Howard is back with the Phillies shortly. As I alluded to earlier, I guess I would be more excited if they weren’t 13 games back. 20 homers and a million strikeouts ain’t going to fix THAT problem.
18) Mickelson was over par today for the second straight time on the PGA Tour. Sure, he is not out banging Perkins waitresses, but how come no one is talking about how inconsistent HE is? Get off my boy’s back. Woods is winning the British, people. BOOK THAT SHIT.
19) Yay. Tony Parker has been cleared for the Olympics. See? We DO know one guy on that French team now.
20) Apparently, internal Penn State findings are coming out in a few weeks. The Sandusky trial is done, but prepare to cringe a few more times before this sad story is done. Please make the headlines scary enough and thorough enough so I WON’T have to read the article.
21) I might have to make an honorary spot on my Rant Squad team for Anthony Wayne Smith, Raiders former DE. He got charged with 3 more murders today. I usually make sure there are three SEPARATE filings of different charges (or doing something TOTALLY stupid with the media in real life) to be on my team (rules are rules), but dude is making Metta World Peace look like a square.
21a) Metta, say something stupid this weak so I regret that last statement. You are not a square. I promise. You are still on the Squad. I wouldn’t do that to you.
22) Ok, that is it. Technically, I have more time, but I think I will watch a movie or something. Writing daily DOES give me less material, although you all know I could technically type all night about sports, Family Guy, and Star Wars. Don’t really have a problem with talking/ writing aloud. Anyway, enjoy your Friday night. I won’t go out with the Clown Closing since it is possible I won’t have time to write tomorrow. Maybe I will do a ala Bill Simmons diary of Wimbledon on Sunday. Maybe I will write before or after. Why don’t we just say this? I will write something when my brain is overflowing with shit I have to get off my chest, which is usually an over/under of 42 hours. As one shepherd said to the other shepherd, I am going to get the flock out of here. Peace.
22a) Ohh. Transformers is on. Megan Fox. My girl is at Magic Mike-I might as well reciprocate. Perhaps I WILL get sucked in that one.
23b) I see that UVA has a top flight recruit coming in for 2014. BJ Stith. Thank GOD Bryant went to school there. Thank you, bro. I am not looking it up, but I assuming that you are Bryant’s son. Wow, I feel old.
23c) Andrew Wiggins is still your recruit for basketball for the year 2014. Dude is the SON of an Olympic sprinter and former NBA player. Are you two really in love, or did you just want to get rich? Dude is 6’7″, is coachable, smart, stays out of trouble, and can flat out ball. Shit, he has Duke written ALL over him.