SPOTTSWOODE: Remember, there is no “i” in “Team America. INTELLIGENCE: Yes, there is.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  12:16

1)       Lincecum looks like a shadow of himself, the NL is for the taking, and now Melky Cabrera gets a 50 game ban for high levels of testosterone.  The Giants have all the signs of going dead in the water unless some surprising player makes his name known.  Nice timing, Melky, as we head into the home stretch for the season.  It looks like you boys have just handed the NL West to the Dodgers on a silver platter.  One of my hobbies is listening to the fun stories of WHY an athlete gets busted and how the test is not right.  Not in this case.  Melky just pretty much said to the media and fans “sorry, everyone.”

2)      King Felix throws a perfect game.  It is funny how you have the occasional, not high quality overall guy throw a no-hitter, but it is usually the true studs who pull off the perfect game.  Case in point.  The last two perfect games have been by Matt Cain and Felix Hernandez, basically two guys that anyone knowing anything about baseball could make a strong case for either as the best pitcher in the league right now.  My vote would be for Justin Verlander, but you get the point.  By the way, before you look on whether my point is valid or not, I am writing off Dallas Braden and Phillip Humber.  Those two are oddities.  If you look at the rest of the list though, it is pretty on target.  To do it, you need the ENTIRE repertoire to not walk anyone AND not allow any hits, along with getting a cold team and being hot yourself.  Every time someone throws one of these bad boys, I think back to one of the best movies that combine sports and a chick flick, and cleverly go back and forth so that neither party gets saturated with either too much sports or too much sappiness.  Check it out, guys…and girls.  Baseball.  Couple stuff.  Baseball.  Couple stuff.

3)      Andrew Bynum has said that he is looking forward to staying with the 76ers.  Andrew, it will be a little tougher crowd than your laid back, cool LA folks.  I love Philly.  Just remember, Mike Schmidt was an easy Hall of Famer, and I still remember going to see my favorite baseball player, he went 0-4, and he was booed like had done nothing ever in baseball for the town in his life.  So, when you get a sad face after coming out of the game with your 6th foul with people talking about your mother, Andrew, just know that they will love you in the good games, and are passionate and knowledgeable overall.  During the bad times, just remember what Dennis Leary said one time.  “I was supposed to be the starting center fielder for the Boston Red Sox.  Life sucks.  Get a helmet.

4)      Jason Witten has gone from a “spleen injury” to a “serious spleen injury.”  All I know is this.  Tony Romo and the crew are in the window of winning right NOW.  Jason better get better quick.  We already know that Romo plays like shit in December, meaning he HAS to have a quick start to curb the doubters.  And Witten is not just a 2nd or 3rd read.  He is pretty much THE key for that offense.

5)      LSU has said that about 20 schools inquired about Tyrann Matthieu after being released by the football team.  Goes to show you.  If you have those skills, SOMEONE will sign you up.

6)      The Red Sox owner has said that no one wanted Bobby V actually fired.  Ok, let me get this straight.  Two thirds through a tough season, the owners and players call an emergency meeting, that is publicized to the press, and where SEVENTEEN players showed up, and you talked about NOT letting him go?  Guys, guys, guys…Either admit there is a problem and solve it, or don’t call emergency meetings.  This is kind of like the Giants complaining about their uncomfortable beds (I am not explaining the joke again.  I want REGULAR readers.)

7)      The US finally win a game against Mexico…in a friendly.  I am proud of the guys, go Team America (what a funny movie that was.  The Alec Baldwin references and plot lines are freaking priceless), but am not getting too excited after the last World Cup letdown once again.  I hear everyone said please and thank you during the game, and that people asked permission to fake injuries.

8)      Ex-USC RB Reggie Bush evidently returned his Heisman Trophy that he cheated to win.  Good job, Reggie.  I will subconsciously pick you as my 5th running back like always in fastasy, and am just glad you finally returned SOMETHING to the promised land.

9)      My girlfriend, Lindsey, was in the elevator before Broncos DJ Williams got convicted in court with another guy who I hope is his permanent chauffeur.  Stay off the blotter, dude.  If your guy has a night off, it’s 3’s and 7’s, bro.

10)   It is still the grocery store version instead of mom and pop store brand, but Philadelphia Cream Cheese’s salmon flavored stuff is dope.  I am hooked slightly.  It comes in smaller containers, but since the salmon flavor is so strong, you need less.

11)   I don’t play video games…not since Tecmo Bowl.  But, a new video game has caught my eye.  They are coming out with a game pitting the Dream Team against the 2012 Team (no nickname, boys?).  I want to play exactly 100 games and then quit.  If the 2012 team wins more than ten games, I will throw the game machine off the top of the tallest building I can find.

12)   That is it.  12:36.  Hope you enjoyed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.

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