Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock, but maybe a couple more minutes than 20. It is Friday. Speed version nevertheless. Let’s turn and burn.
1) Ok, ok. I am sure I can’t just touch on the Te’o thing and move on. I am supposed to say some sarcastic, Fillerbuster jokes about it to keep everyone entertained. Well, I have a full time job, so the long “ranty” version will have to wait until the sitting around my house Saturday rant with a couple drinks. Someone else has come out and said that Te’o WAS the victim, but that doesn’t explain why he stayed with the story after the hoax was upended. So, to KEEP you entertained, I will give you the link that will make you fall off your chair. My sports writing hero HAS the time. Want Te’o jokes? The Bill Simmons mailbag will not let you down. Click this link. http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/8856794/the-all-teo-mailbag
2) Seriously, click that link.
4) I am NOT messing around. Click it and you might understand the confusion on this story AND have some jokes to tell your friends.
5) Ok. Back to it. Kind of. Funny post on FB by a friend of Lindsey’s. Look at the picture, and imagine the caption that goes something like “Te’oing…my bf so silly”
6) NOW back to it. The Cleveland Browns picked up Norv Turner as their Offensive Coordinator and Mike Lombardi as their VP. Norv is finally back at the level he should be at, and maybe him and Josh McDaniels are going out for beers tonight to celebrate. Plus, I have a challenge for anyone out there. If you can diagram every single QB, coaching, GM, and VP change for the Browns over the last 7 or so years, I would buy you a bar tab. That would be TOUGH. We could break out the flow chart, but as I said yesterday, the flow chart is in use for unknown amount of time until this Te’o mess is figured out.
7) I had two hard boiled eggs this morning after cooking more last night. This new HB egg thing is AWESOME.
8) Headline that does NOT need an additional joke from the Fillerbuster. “Ryan Leaf threatens staffer and is to be sent back to prison.” The headlines missed you, my friend. We always have a spot for you though.
9) The New York Yankees signed P Joba Chamberlain to a one year deal. I don’t attend spring training, games, or practices, but with all of the talent that is NOT going to NY these days, I would have locked him up for longer.
10) Michigan beat Minnesota last night in basketball at the Gophers elevated court. I still like Michigan for the whole thing at this point, and add THIS to the reasons. Their three guard backcourt rotation shoots 80% from the free throw line. Come tourney time, if they have a lead late, they will be TOUGH to catch with the old foul, lengthen the game, and pray way.
11) The Heat blitzed the Lakers at the end last night. Seriously, LeBron. Nice stat line:
12) Why am I suddenly saying “boom goes the dynamite” constantly?
13) The Phoenix Suns and Alvin Gentry have parted ways. Evidently, upper management has not looked at the roster list in quite some time if they are judging him on results. They have a couple kids who came out of college too quickly, a couple lower tier foreign players, and Sebastian Telfair, the kid who signed an endorsement deal coming out of high school years ago and has been SUCH a large impact on the NBA thus far.
14) Tiger is penalized in Abu Dhabi and misses the cut. THAT is the difference these days. A penalty stroke ten years ago would mean he might only WIN the tournament by 1 instead of 3. Now, it is about just playing the weekend.
15) What a guy. Andy Reid helped the Eagles land Chip Kelly. The Eagles fans are too abrasive to give you love on that, Andy, and the Oregon fans are too smoked up to get mad at you.
16) Andrew Luck just lost his OC, Bruce Arians. Who are they taking a look at? How about Pep Hamilton? Who, you ask? Just the OC from Stanford that helped Luck get that #1 spot in the draft.
17) Matt Harrison signs a contract with the Rangers for 5 years and $55 million. Exactly. A guy only true baseball fans or people from Texas know will make $11 million per year.
18) Tweet of the day comes from Bryan Donaldson (like I REALLY have segments in this haphazard stream of consciousness): “I’d be a millionaire today if back in 1988 I’d invested in Apple or bet on Todd Bridges to outlive the rest of the Diff’rent Strokes cast”
19) One more tweet from Seth Myers: “These Te’o jokes are all very funny but let’s all try and remember that a person who never existed is dead.”
20) Lindsey made me another CD. Yes, we STILL roll like that. On it, this awesome get together between Jay-Z and Kanye. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoEKWtgJQAU
21) Johnny Football is gambling with money he shouldn’t have at casinos, and Te’o has girlfriends that don’t exist. That was one, classy Heisman race.
22) You might be trying to give Johnny Mac a run, but you can’t, Jerzy. http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1486941-jerzy-janowicz-video-watch-poland-stars-meltdown-at-australian-open
23) Anyone notice that out of 10 starters that were voted into the NBA All Star starting lineup by fans, only 6 teams were represented? And FIVE cities? LA, Boston, NY, Miami, OKC.
24) The Vilma suit against Goodell has been dismissed. That is it, Jonathan. Exit stage left. You had a good run.
25) Maria Sharapova loses four games in routing Venus Williams. I think this says less about a lack of game still in Venus, and more about how well Maria is playing. Those were her first four games lost in all three rounds thus far.
26) I feel bad for Oklahoma State and Oklahoma football. They lost out on the #1 WR HS recruit (Laquon Treadwell) to Ole Miss. To Ole Miss???? Wow. Tell me there is family there or SOMETHING.
27) Finally, Al Pacino will play Joe Paterno in a movie to be made called Happy Valley. It will most likely be made well, as Pacino is reunited with the director or Scarface and Carlito’s Way. You can’t go wrong with THAT resume.
28) And a shout out to Skyler. Tell everyone at drama class who misses me coming around I said hello. So, basically, go talk to a mirror I suppose. Much love, bro.
29) That is it. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.