Listen. Here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker at the table in the first 30 minutes, then you ARE the sucker.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Yeah, yeah.  I know I missed yesterday.  Company band practice, errands, zoo, cook out, movie.  I work 65 hours a week.  Sometimes i just need a freaking day off (the irony is I just finished working for two hours…uggghhh).  Today is an on the clock one.  It is too nice of day for me to be blogging in my hot apartment all afternoon.  My apartment’s pool, the smallest pool, in metro Denver, awaits.

Let’s turn and burn.

2:00

1)  Before hitting the sports, I would like to give a shout out to a new good friend of mine (met at my buddy’s wedding in Wilmington, DE)  who is battling back from a severe achilles injury, and blogs about it.  http://www.facebook.com/l/sAQGUzYuBAQFKDxYp2hNwDsNXFl9SBWGSCWSecKlbGiugqg/www.coloradohealthyfellow.com

2)  Quietly as always, did anyone else notice that David Price just notched his 12th win the other day?  As far as consistent young pitchers out there (no, not YOU, Tim Lincecum), Price has risen to the top of the heap for delivering on a regular basis, although I am sure he would trade that “consistency” for Tim’s WS Championship any day of the week.

3)  There is a big debate about the USA’s Olympic team’s uniforms being made in China.  I personally don’t see the big deal. So, they make clothes faster and more efficiently than the U.S.  Sure, the hard core patriot might have a problem, but think of it this way.  While making the U.S.’s uniforms, we just made sure that in those 20 people making them wasn’t an Olympic athlete who just doesn’t have time to train because he or she is always making clothes for the U.S.

4)  Maybe it was an incorrect headline.  Maybe I was in a rush.  Maybe I should have opened the article.  All that being said, I THINK (I don’t have time to doublecheck EVERYTHING) I saw that the pot for the World Series of Poker was over $62 million.  Wow.  Do I hear Rounders 2?  I guess they can’t now.  $62 mil vs. $1 mil doesn’t even make Matt Damon’s hard choice…hard.  I am sure that the chick from that movie would still come across just as hate-able.

5)  Sad to hear that Paterno was reworking his retirement contract DURING the hearings.  It kind of solidifies the fact that he knew SOMETHING.  I hear they are also keeping the statue.  PSU students who disagree with this are now trying to sign up for a class named “Vandalism 101.”

6)  Ainge says Allen “left them.”  Danny, take it easy.  We, the masses, get the whole changing locations and leaving for situations, money (I know, not in this case), etc. with athletes.  You don’t have to declare it publicly.  Who cares?  Technically, I will remember Allen more for being in a Seattle uniform than being the second part of the first Big Three (should I just figure out HOW to put a flowchart on this domain-it would make things more happy for me and less confusing for you).  Let it go, and just try to beat their ass next season.

7)  I feel like if I take a nap, that I will miss another UFC.  They come out FAST.

8)  Phil Jackson evidently talked to, and then turned down the Portland Trailblazers.  Ummm.  Yeah.  Phil’s specialty is navigating superstars in their prime to a championship.  Maybe he wanted to just coach someone his own age (that was a joke about Oden if you don’t follow my rants).  Anyway, good call, Zen Master.

9)  EXCITING.  PLEASE SIT DOWN.  Tour de France update.  Can’t be exciting, you say? I think not.  Someone woke up really early and put tacks on the road.  That is fun.  Yay.  They should have a stage that specifically incorporates tacks in the road.  I WOULD WATCH that.

10)  Raymond Felton is the solution to the Knicks problems?  I think not.  I think Lin signed the offer sheet and the Knicks were offended.  I think signing Felton was their Seinfeld version of returning the jacket that one time.  “Sir, why are you returning this jacket?  Out of spite.”

11)  I love the NBA.  I follow it.  I read about it.  I watch it.  Therefore, it should be slightly disturbing when the Blazers and Timberwolves have been on the wire for a week about a conflict over Nicolas Batum.  I know a LITTLE about the guy, but admit I had to look him up to remind myself.  Weird.

12)  As far as my company band practice.  We had a short practice session yesterday, and was involved because it became known that I A) play the keys (I refuse to use the word pianist) B) had written a couple song parodies about our work.  I walked in thinking I was going to keep my keyboard volume VERY low and just make everyone happy.  I walked out after agreeing to sing a Rolling Stones song and Eye of the Tiger in front of 250 people.  I am not sure how that happened.  I have an OK voice, but my voice is not made for leading bands-it is made for winning karaoke contests.

13)  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and the Hornets matched the Suns offer to Eric Gordon.  Eric, you might not THINK you are happy right now, but why don’t you play on the same court with AD and Austin Rivers, and then tell me that you guys might be the next OKC Thunder.

14)  Cool story.  Steve Nash is at least accepted by ONE group of people in La La Land.  http://www.indystar.com/usatoday/article/803757?odyssey=mod%7Cnewswell%7Cfeaturedtext%7CSports%7Cp&usatref=sportsmod

15)  Jason Kidd got a DUI last night/ this morning.  If there was ONE player who I would use my “pay a guy $50k a year to drive me around if I make more than a million dollars per year” rule, I would think it would be him.  Dude, come on.  Are the Dallas cops easier on that shit than NYC?  I bet you probably didn’t even get busted for driving too fast.  I bet you got pulled over because you were driving to the hole like an upper 30’s guy.

16)  Kyrie Irving broke his hand “slapping the pads at practice.”  I hear his next note to the press is that he can beat Kobe Bryant one handed in one on one.  Thanks for taking the early lead of oddest injuries for the NBA this year.

17)  I guess the Phils might not be doing too well, but at least their prospects are doing ok. Check out this sick catch by Reading minor leaguer Jiwan James of the Phils organization.  http://content.usatoday.com/communities/dailypitch/post/2012/07/magical-catch-phillies-prospect/1

18)  I went to the zoo yesterday with my girl and her roommates.  Do me a favor.  Don’t ever become to old, mature, cool, or whatever to go the zoo.  It was awesome.  Sure, as an animal lover, I get sad here and there that they are kept in cages, but we ARE the dominant species.  We can’t help it, and sorry if those other species and classes are so cool to look at.  I always have to see the wolves (Denver has two white ones), the cheetahs, the mongooses, and the orangutans minimally.  Denver Zoo has a cool giraffe exhibit.  Although Lindsey was MOST excited to see the elephant exhibit as it is her favorite animal (I promise not to forget that fact), although I can see the work put into it, and although I love the animal itself, I was not overwhelmed by the whole dog and pony show.  It was a new exhibit.  I was expecting to get into a car like in Jurassic Park and cruise through elephants and rhinos for ten minutes like they did through all the dinosaur cages.  Just like thinking that I would like Master and Commander after Gladiator became one of my favorite movies, I was let down.  The gibbons climbing trees and rope above us peeing was entertaining though.

19)  2:22.  That is it.  Time to go jump in a pool that is the size of a hot tub and has a person limit.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.