Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
New format, as I am always on the clock during the week. Evolving format, so please feel free to send feedback/ suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org
Let’s turn and burn.
NOT on the clock. I am soaking up the day of bball, doing an odd Sunday blog, and little kid excited about the 4pm release of the bracket. I am filling the void by doing the free form blog. Lindsey doesn’t like bball or Van Halen, so she is in the other room napping. Ahhh. The free form versions. Nothing but no limits to restrict me. Here we go. Boom goes the dynamite.
1) I just watched Miami beat UNC. Both teams were already in, and the game was more separated than the final score, but Miami earned a #1 seed if you ask me.
2) UVA is mind boggling. I went to school there. To me, it comes down to a decision between Middle Tennessee State, LaSalle, Ole Miss, Kentucky, Maryland, and Virginia. Tough choices.
3) Stephen Strasburg has been announced as the starter for Baltimore for opening day. In related news, the grass is green and the sky is blue.
4) If we are talking about “two tiered” PED testing systems, then I think the focus is on the wrong part of the sentence. You go, MLB.
5) Not good to play hooky, but we can’t all be Ferris Bueller. “Guy saves people from shark attack, gets fired.” Ugghhh.
6) I am not in LA, but I FEEL in CO the air of nervousness. Basically, it is the second best player in the NBA in the last 20 years and his ankle.
7) How quietly did the Seahawks snag DE Cliff Avril? Nice offseason, Seattle.
8) UVA just got screwed. Ole Miss just won the SEC, meaning a bubble team gets kicked out. That would be YOU, UVA. And actually UVA screwed themselves by losing to half the CAA.
9) It is 1:22, and I am SO excited for the bracket release.
10) Does the Catholic 7 sound like a good movie name?
11) Derek Jeter played fine in his first practice game since injury. Does anyone else have 5% of their brain wanting him to do something wrong, get arrested, or have a night out with Dwight Howard?
12) Caroline Wozniacki and Rory McIlroy are together, and evidently both have a gym competition with each other. I know I am just a guy sitting here on a Sunday afternoon blogging, but do we really need to know that two prime time athletes like to go to the gym? Stop.
13) I am out of the disease hipness. An LPGA golfer had to withdraw from a golf tournament because of getting MALARIA. I thought we were past that.
14) UVA has SIX bad losses. That is two more than any other team on the bubble. Six is a lot. Haha. Eight is enough. I loved that show.
15) I had a dream the other night about my contact lens cleaner being acidic and killing anything in its path. It was horrifying, and could have been worse…but luckily Lindsey pulled me out of it. It made The Shining look like a comedy.
16) I can honestly say the only reason I know about DEFCONS is from Wargames.
17) Ed Reed is talking to Houston. Not a bad choice, Ed. I still think it would be cooler to go down with the ship and retire with Baltimore eventually. I know you are talking about making more money in one year than I have ever dreamed about, but stay, dude. The Inner Harbor is cool, and just stay away from that red light district like 1.5 blocks away.
18) Greg Jennings inks with Minnesota. I bet you that he has some background with Cassel, and how did the Packers go from WR heavy to WR light?
19) The NFL might abandon the tuck rule. Great. It took all of us like 15 years to understand the rule, and now you are going to revoke it?
20) NHL realignment has been ok’d. The Fillerbuster will be happy to discuss the breakdown of the realignment once we are sure there won’t be another strike next year.
21) David Wright is out at the WBC. I was thinking about caring about this injury, but then luckily Puerto Rico ousted the US, meaning I don’t have to manufacture a reason to care. Thanks, PR.
22) Geno Smith was 60-64 at NFl pro day. I think he just made himself about $2 million. I thought he was a #13 pick. I think he just made himself top 10, perhaps top 5.
23) There is some NASCAR racer who will not appeal his fine. You are now updated on NASCAR.
24) I think that Xavier is the most talented team to not even be on the bubble. Lyons leaving KILLED them.
25) I think that the hype that the Broncos got in signing Welker was legit. I think the LACK of hype of them signing Cromartie EQUALS that.
26) Speaking of the Broncos, hey, Quinton Carter. You are not allowed to throw money DURING a craps throw, and I am pretty sure the cameras don’t lie. Just saying.
27) Nadal beat Federer the other day. It was the first late round match up they have had in a WHILE. Let’s hope that they line up at the French/ Nadal// Borg Open.
28) Thanks to my buddy, Brian, for passing this along. I agree with him. I would LOVE to know this guy. Please click link. It is your loss if you don’t (you too, Lindsey, now that I have figured out you just read my blog and don’t hit links). http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/sunherald/obituary.aspx?n=harry-stamps&pid=163538353&fhid=4025#fbLoggedOut
My CEO did a shout out for me in his internal work blog. I love working for you, and your passion for signs is what motivates me to work 65 hours a week. Anyway, I promised you a shout out. First link is who I work for, and the second link is work we did with the MGM Casinos. http://www.forbes.com/pictures/elld45jgdk/david-levin-34-four-winds-interactive/ http://vimeo.com/42742334#
29) This is pretty spot on. A Samuel Jackson dog photo.
30) Whether you think it is primitive, dumb, or whatever, ladies, it is true. Thank you Robot Chicken, for being blunt about the topic of females eating bananas, lollipops, ice cream cones, etc., etc, etc.
31) If someone has seen a scary movie outside of The Shining in the last 30 years, please email me my groundbreaking movie alert.
32) I tried to scare Lindsey the other night. Having a mirror in the living room does NOT help out this motivation.
33) If I had to ballpark KILLER parties, I would say that I would like to join Joe Lunardi and Mel Kiper after the NFL draft and March Madness. And Dennis Rodman.
34) How did I NOT assume that Ronda Rousey’s mom was fight oriented? She was a judo champion. Perhaps I am just writing this to show once again this Photoshop gem.
35) If you are NOT to this point in maturity, then you are way behind. Dibs, bro. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/25/gareth-thomas-gay-rugby-player-retirement-_n_1031669.html
36) I am presently evaluating a very important topic. What do I hate more? Black olives, the Eagles, or Joe Flacco. I have a text out to Jack Handy, and the order is Eagles, Joe, and then black olives.
37) There were punches thrown at the WBC. Do you care? I don’t.
38) Sirius has a DJ named Anita Blackwood. Do I need to make a joke on this one?
39) The best movie of all time. By a landslide.
40) The side effects list of Androgel is the most impressive up to this point.
41) If you laugh at farts, as all people do, then check out this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSKQ3ZNQ_O8&feature=youtube_gdata_player
42) It is 2:07. Fifty three minutes from 60 minutes of VH, and one hour and that from brackets release. Lindsey is napping well right now.
43) Will less media cover the Redskins since they released DeAngelo Hall?
44) Dumb and dumber is still REALLY funny, Still. 40 Year Virgin also.
45) I think that the injury that Kyrie Irving is out for is FAKE. Just tell us you are shutting him down.
46) On that note, Derrick Rose should come back.
47) I think the Alec Baldwin-Charles Barkley commercials are hilarious, and that it is like Brando and DeNiro being in the same movie. Godfather? Yes. Here is the other keeper you haven’t watched. The Score.
48) The Dumervil fax thing is one of the strangest stories I have heard since…the Manti Te’o story. Maybe the fax was fake too.
49) If James Southerland is stroking the ball, the Cuse are unbelievable.
50) Duke was doing an improv of UVA against Maryland. They did a pretty good job. Good luck with Creighton in the second round, you #2 seed.
51) I am not as conditioned to day drink during a St. Patty’s Day parade as I used to be. That being said, I still tucked my girl in, took my contacts out, and flossed.
52) Vandy beating UK gives UVA company in the sad room.
53) When will Arizona start actually using its top 5 recruiting classes?
54) Louisville is the best team in the nation, and Russ Smith has no conscience when he shoots.
55) I don’t know what songs Redfoo sings, but I DO know he is trying out for the US Open.
56) I think the Heat won again. I am not sure, but it sounds right.
57) Since Lindsey hates Van Halen, do I wake her up for the hour of VH, or do I naturally let it wake her up?
58) I am sad that a dog from the Iditarod died. I am actually sad when ANY dog dies.
59) John Daly shot a 10 on a par 4. No. I didn’t copy and paste this from 10 years ago, and as far as I know, he still has Hooters for sponsor.
60) Anyone else think they might need a flowchart for Kevin Kolb when he is done playing?
61) I think EVERYONE should read magazines backwards.
62) I already use Old Spice, but I like it a LOT that wolves are in their commercials. I just killed two birds with one stone.
63) Where did that phrase come from by the way? I have no problem in throwing two stones.
64) I only go to H&R Block because they are used to me. Kind of like I go to the same dentist. I had a point there, but I don’t know what it was.
65) Thirty five minutes until Van Halen hour. Top Jimmy is the lead in. Dreams in the middle. Panama is the closer.
66) I watched The Fighter last night. So, I love two movies (Ted and The Fighter) that have the main character driving his car listening to Here I Go Again.
67) Thanks to Lorie for listening to my 20 minute explanation of what basketball REALLY is. What is it? It is shooting and who beats who to the “spot.” It had to be painful for her to be told about the “spot” theory.
68) I am testing you, colleague. Bob, if you would like to learn piano at 60 years old, I will teach you for free. If you don’t read this, then you will never know this offer.
69) My mother rocks. She sent me the definition of a filibuster. “parliamentary tactic used to block or delay legislative action.” That sounds about right.
70) The MVC Commish is mad that Creighton-Wich St game got cut off. He has not responded to my texts about watching Heidi together. Weird.
71) Burglars stole Mike Cofer’s 2 SB rings. They left a note. It said “you are a kicker and Ace Ventura is not real.”
72) Watch your brackets. Davidson might not have Curry anymore, but they looked GOOD the other night. Put that on the list of THESE teams who will wreck your bracket. St. Louis. New Mexico. Colorado State. UNLV. Creighton. Middle Tennessee State. Call me if you need more.
73) There is no sponsor for the 2014 NCAA football title game. That means that Nike and Microsoft are in a small room right now.
74) The X Games will not do best trick competition moving forward. I hope it doesn’t last for a long time, but a good call pub wise after that dude’s death.
75) Welcome, ND, to the ACC. I am sure you will love getting your ass kicked on Tobacco Road. Cheers.
76) Barcelona came back on AC Milan in the second game. They won 4-0 and won overall. I just wanted to see if I could write that without looking at my notes.
77) The Bucs/ Bills GM’s were set up with a recorded call by pranksters. This story would be more mainstream if either team was decent.
78) My favorite joke is this. “What did the fish say when he ran into the wall? Damn.” Anyway, dry humor, and here is one passed on by my buddy Dave this week?
Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?” asked the wife.
“No,” said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.
“Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?” she asked.
“Uh, no,” he said.
She gave him another sexy little smile,seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.
“Now,” she said, “Have you ever seen 40,000 dollars all crumpled up?”
“No,” he said, now really intrigued.
“Well go look in the garage…”
79) Dave was an amateur comedian. Do you still tell that Arnold/ Terminator/ Taco Bell drive through joke?
80) I really would like to know how much money this guy makes? Theme song writer from Emich, Hotwire, Expedia…
81) If I played at Valparaiso, I would listen to my coach. “Shut UP! I made that SHOT, bitch.”
82) Contribution from Lindsey. I need a flow chart, but it is really funny.
83) Bargnani is out for the season with an injury. Perhaps if this ex-#1 pick EVER plays like he should, we would care.
84) Jay Cutler has decided to play out his 2013 contract. The public has decided to tolerate him for one more year also. Win-win.
85) This is FANTASTIC. I feel lazy for READING this. http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/basketball/mavs-sign-nba-player-ms-article-1.1288805
86) This is a Soundgarden song you might have missed when trying to not watch Singles. Think Soundgarden meeting Led Zeppelin. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rei5VFFtO8
87) Lindsey still thinks Queen is better than Led Zeppelin. I will blame her age for that.
88) Who the HELL is Shawn Stefani? I thought I had name recognition for all golfers, but I just say NO DOUBT when I hear his name. He was winning a PGA event as of yesterday.
89) Djokovic lost finally. Nadal won. Bitch, please.
90) I carried a green squishy toy around ALL day yesterday for St. Patty’s Day. His name was Rory. He had eyebrows. I told 100 people minimally that sad Rory was pre-8th hole, and angry Rory was post 8th hole. Thanks to the two dudes who got the joke, and thanks to Lindsey for still dating me after that mission.
91) The Pats lost Welker publicly lost Welker, and quietly signed Talib. I think you are all idiots for losing Welker, but nice pickup.
92) Does Wisconsin suck at the beginning of the year and then rule on PURPOSE? They beat IU. I think they are just more comfortable being a 3 or 4 seed every year.
Lindsey is still asleep, I am about to start VH hour (which will definitely wake her up and hopefully won’t push her away (I have no idea why she loves me)) before selection show, so I have to go. For those of you who made it through all 93 takes, much love. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro (thanks, Matt, for the tagline-I LOVE it). Peace.