I HAD to make a joke about the town in a previous rant. Now. Where am I stuck in??? Beautiful Harrisburg, PA. Ugghhh.


Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Airport/ Airplane Rant.  Blind.  I have been in the airport for 8 hours now and am only making it to DC tonight, still a good 3 plus hour flight away from home.  Work amazingly took all my time earlier in this long time at the airport.  Go figure.  Expecting a long flight home, that leaves me little time for actual blogging.  On this horrible day of travel, I am slightly grumpy, which usually makes for a better rant.

Let’s turn and burn.

1)       So, as we get closer to the deadline, I see that the media is covering it much more.  I still have no idea how the impending NHL lockout was not a bigger story months ago, but it is almost here, the owners are supporting the lockout and not being flexible, and Sidney Crosby looked like someone had run over his puppy with a really, really big truck in a recent interview.

2)      LSU lost 4 players to academic reasons this week.  Sure, their pipeline is always stellar, talent is always around, but when you are still looking slightly up at Alabama, you need every single horse in the stable you have, and this doesn’t help.  Only one of them was a starter, but I bet you one or two others would have been by season’s end because of injuries during the year.  Not good.

3)      The Phils win 7 straight.  The Phils played Houston.  The Phils are up 4-0.  The Phils LOSE.  What?  Come on, guys.  You might not pull this playoff run off, and no one expects you to make a run like the Rockies a couple years ago, but losing 6-4 after being up 4-0 against the worst team in the whole league?  Also, not good.

4)      The Bears are good.  The Packers are good.  The rivalry is back.  Jay Cutler opens his mouth and talks shit to the Packers secondary.  And.  What happens?  The Packers get 7 sacks and 4 interceptions.  Yes, Jay.  We will all say it in unison.  Shut your mouth.  Now.

5)      Not like the guy doesn’t know that he is going to the HOF or anything, but dibs to Derek Jeter, who quietly tied Willie Mays for tenth all time on the hits list.  It is not incredible where he stands in history.  It is incredible that he is not backing into records like other guys who gave it a fight in leaving the game.  Dude is hitting awesome this year and is an MVP candidate.

6)      My college picks.  I am in a rush, so no explanation on these.  Give me:  Florida State minus 28 against Wake, VA Tech minus 10 against Pitt, Missouri minus 6 against Arizona State, Lousiville minus 3 against UNC, Kansas plus 20.5 against TCU, Colorado State plus 10 against San Jose St., and  Wisconsin minus 13.5 against Utah State.

7)      I laughed at the headline that the Orioles just sealed their first non losing season since ’97.  Dudes are doing it the RIGHT way, by irritating the hell out of the Yankees for first place.  I am rooting for you all.

8)      Quietly, Arizona basketball snagged the #14 recruit overall this week.  I hear that he was going to go to Kentucky, but Calipari thought his cheating would be too obvious, so he backed off.

9)      James Harrison will play against the Jets.  Not that he solves all the problems that my team has, but I DO feel a little better with him roaming inside.

10)   The Lakers have announced that Dwight Howard is still not ready with his back problems to come back fully.  I was going to make a joke, but then noticed my accidental pun in the last sentence.  That will do.

11)   Bill Belichick has said that Larry Fitzgerald might go down as one of the best ever before it is all said and done.  Does he just say random things to see if we all still think he is a genius?  Dude, you haven’t won a Super Bowl in a couple years.  Your pedestal is pretty much barely above the ground these days.

12)   Rockets F Jon Brockman wins the award for the oddest injury of the week.  Working out with those fancy elastic bands, probably working on those bi’s, Jon’s toes subconsciously let go of the bad and BOOM, he took one in the eye.  I am too tired to think of related jokes on his injury, but know they would be about some 80’s band, might have a superhero reference, and would be VERY funny.  Trust me.

13)   Uggghh.  If I had to rank stories and how fast they came upon us, I would rank Jeremy Lin first, Tim Tebow second, and RGIII third…off the top of my head.  Dude has had one great game and he is the next savior.  But I don’t care about that.  I care about this term Griffining that is floating around.  Geez, everyone.  Just because he made a cool pose after a score, please stop forming action verbs off of every athlete’s name.  I am over it.  Actually, I was over it on Tebow.  My problem with RGIII is I actually like the guy.  Now, he will get overexposure, I will get sick of it, and then hate him as a person also.  At least I hated Tebow from the get-go.

14)   I hear Dallas is interested in talking to Tony Romo about a long term deal.  Don’t be misled.  It is not that they totally trust him yet.  They are ACTING like they totally trust him, will probably delay actually signing the thing, and are doing it in my opinion to make him play better because he thinks they trust him.  Brilliant.  I could flow chart that if needed.

15)   QB Wilson is out for the Hogs against Alabama.  So, basically if you gave them a slight chance totally healthy and pissed off at losing to Louisiana-Monroe last week, without him, you give them less than NO chance now.  Now, I need a graph or an x-y axis.

16)   The Texans Antonio Smith was fined 21k for his kick on Richie Incognito last week.  Hey, Captain Obvious Smith, you have to be more discreet when you do things like that…more….incognito.  Geez.  My humor is never great, but I guess 8 hours at an airport drains you more than you think.  That was horrible.

17)   And NEXT to hit the auctioning block online in our lifetime?  Yup.   The contract detailing the ban from baseball of Pete Rose.  Signed and ALL.  Get a frame, put it on your mantle, and, whoever you are who has money to spend money on shit like this, you are happy as a clam.

18)   Chris Bosh is willing to play center next year.  Thanks, Chris.  I am glad you will be willing to do what the coaches tell you to do.  I can now get some sleep.  And I thought you were the quiet classy one of the Miami Thrice, or whatever the hell we are calling them these days.

19)   Authentic.  True.  Pure emotion.  And nothing I will laugh at.  Derrick Rose, who impresses me more every day with his passion for life and the sport, cried on camera after they showed his injury video and fight back.  You COULD laugh at things like this, but with this guy, I am alright with it.

20)   If you think I am the only ranter among my friends, here is a clip of a buddy of mine who started out writing a normal email and ended up with this:

“I have to figure out if I want to buy out the Honda lease or get something new.  The Accord is so boring but so practical.  They have a minivan in here for $48000.  WTF!!!  That is unreal, maybe my perspective is trapped in 2002 but that is way too much money.  Did people all of sudden start earning way more money and we just stayed the same?  I feel like I should shop around to see if I can make more because after 5 year what was a good comp plan might be below average now.  Back to my point, who the fuck can afford a $48K minivan?  Because if you need it, you have 2-3 kids and all the expenses that come with them, like a big house in Kansas [he lives in Parker] and a $200 water bill and a stay at home wife that shops online.  No wonder America is fucked and people keep digging deeper holes.”

21)   Lolo Jones is not dating Lions Ndamukong Suh.  Spare me the obvious jokes we could go for on this one.  It is a Chandler “too many jokes” hook.  I will let it do its thing on its own.

22)   Told you.  Those Jerry Wipes were a hit.  They had the idea after the son in law got busted on camera wiping Jerry’s glasses, they stocked them up, put them on the Cowboys site, and what happened?  They sold out in that night.

23)   That is it.  I am sure as HELL not going to miss this flight to get to Dulles.  Long, long day.  More travel notes in tomorrow’s blog.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

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