I don’t know how to spell out that awesome sound he makes…
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Speed version. Day rant. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. I don’t know what is more intriguing. How Chris Johnson handles the lights of New York, or how Andrew Wiggins handles whatever they have in Milwaukee.
2) The only thing more dangerous than Chris Johnson in front of a microphone is Chris Johnson in front of a microphone in New York.
3) You can spin it any way you want as a devil’s advocate. Tanaka is throwing four pitches equally keeping hitters on edge, is 2-0, has a .77 WHIP, 2.05 ERA, and 28 K’s. That is pretty stellar.
4) I don’t know one person in life who cares that the Bucks were sold this week for $550 million. Ok. Maybe Lindsey’s friend, John, does.
5) All you need to know about the #1 women’s prospect picking South Carolina is that she didn’t pick UCONN. She is a Columbia girl. I must be different. When I was choosing a college, I wanted a minimum 4 hour drive from my hometown to negate the ‘rent pop in.
6) As we head into the NBA playoffs, Kobe has announced he is ready for an epic rehab stint. No one cares right now. We are in the now. Playoffs. I am curious when you are fitting filming that documentary into your schedule with this epic comeback.
7) I am not the hippest on cliches, but I am still not sure how a bull in a china shop relates to flopping. Is the china the one flopping? The bull isn’t, right? Confused.
8) Columbus will have nightmares about last night’s game and being up 2 goals if the Pens go on to win this series.
9) Reports are surfacing that the Jameis Winston criminal case was mishandled in certain ways. Wait a minute. I just assumed we ALL already KNEW it was mishandled because he is a big time Florida football player.
10) You have to think that OKC and San Antonio were watching the score of that Dallas-Memphis series with NEITHER of them wanting any part of the Griz in the first round.
11) Quick and dirty NBA predictions…
INDIANA/ ATLANTA:
Yes. Indiana has been slumping. But Atlanta was trying to tank and failed. They are angry for even being here. Indiana is much better. Indiana in 5.
MIAMI/ CHARLOTTE:
Charlotte’s success is just being here. Miami might not run the table, but they sure as hell aren’t going to slack against Charlotte. Miami in 5.
TORONTO/ BROOKLYN:
Congrats to Toronto for being here. Now get out of the way. Too much playoff experience on the Nets. Brooklyn in 6.
CHICAGO/ WASHINGTON:
Congrats to the Wizards for being here. The Bulls are still playing the role of the Cleveland Indians in Major League. Bulls in 6.
SAN ANTONIO/ DALLAS:
San Antonio is humming along. Dallas has offensive spark, but no playoff caliber defense. Dirk and Monta will win a couple. Spurs in 6.
OKC/ MEMPHIS:
I can’t WAIT to watch this series. Memphis is dangerous, people. I think OKC survives, but I think this thing goes the distance. OKC in 7.
LOS ANGELES/ GOLDEN STATE:
With Bogut in lineup, I like this thing to go 7. Without him, I say it is Clippers in 5.
HOUSTON/ PORTLAND:
This will be a fun series. Portland is a year away, and Houston is in the now to be also-rans. Houston in 7.
12) Peyton Manning speaking in front of the boy scouts is like…ummm….an elephant speaking in front of a bunch of elephants? Sometimes I start a thought and then reach a little. I know. i am self aware of not being funny many times.
13) It is being reported that Aldon Smith most likely will not be back with the 49ers. The only down side of this development is that he has to populate another airport at some point.
14) The grass is green, the sky is blue, and “multiple teams are eyeing Michael Sam.” Umm. Thanks. He is a kid in the draft. Why wouldn’t they? Let’s get past the obvious.
15) I think I am excited for the new Godzilla movie. Godzilla was the shit.
16) Forrest Gump is one of the hardest movies to move on with when passing it on the channel changer. And I am not sure why I always have to watch the running part even though I don’t really like running.
17) I am less confused about that Wu-Tang rapper guy cutting off his penis than I am of why he jumped off the SECOND floor.
18) Jabari Parker is leaving Duke for the NBA, meaning there might actually be discussion about the preseason #1 next year in basketball.
19) I am hoping Chad Johnson joining the Canadian football team spurns another name change.
20) Lamar Odom and the Knicks made it official. He is joining them for the rest of the season. I know. They aren’t in the playoffs. What is happening is that Phil Jackson just beat down all rules about tampering with free agents in the offseason. Should he be a shred of his old self, it is pretty brilliant.
21) Rick Adelman reportedly will not be back for the Timberwolves, meaning he will miss them be overrated in the preseason for the fourth year in a row.
22) Blake Griffin has announced he supports medical marijuana. We get it. You smoke. Win something and THEN make random Dwight Howard like statements for no reason at all. Otherwise, you are just being Snowball.
23) That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.