I am off today due to busy work day. I give you Mr. Royal/ Casino Royale/ Royale with Cheese. No longer a “guest blogger.” Let’s call him a stunt double (new nickname???) or Colin Kaepernick in early 2012 playoffs (that is deep-please don’t send me to KC).

FILLERBUSTER: He did NOT mention “let that simmer for a bit” this time though.  Dammit.  I liked that tagline.  I also might have missed his feedback on “Bullocked.”  This takes care of this through Sunday.  Will I blog Sunday?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

Casino Royale with Cheese (latest terrible nickname attempt) here with both an homage the season premiere of Workaholics (funniest show on television) and a look at some funniest stuff happening in sports right now.

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Lets dive right in and keep it “tight butthole.” (If you’re not a Workaholics fan a lot of these jokes may go over your head, sorry. Its the internet I do what I want…)

“This is the USA. ‘Characters Welcome’ is our country’s motto.”

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Listen people, from Richard Sherman to Dennis Rodman, I have got to say, I absolutely love the crazy. Bring on the crazy. It keeps sports interesting and there’s nothing better than having all kinds of people.

Like it or not, this is America and there are all kinds of different people. Did Sherman come off really selfish, cocky, and a bit douchey? Absolutely. No doubt. He also should not have put Crabtree down like that and shown that moment a little more respect than he did. I’m not defending that and I think even he would agree that in that moment he was a bit high on his own supply. Having said that, he is the best corner in the game, and when someone truly thinks they are the best at something I have ZERO problems with them saying that. That’s why I defended Flacco a couple off seasons ago when he said he thought he was one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. That’s why I defended Eli Manning when he said he thought he was an elite quarterback a couple years ago. All they did was back it up by winning a championship. Which is exactly what Richard Sherman is going to do a week and a half from today.

I hate canned answers. I hate cliches. I love it when superior athletic human beings and brilliant sports minds actually open up and tell us how they think. I think its insightful, not unprofessional. In fact, I wrote a whole article about it.
http://www.friendlystrife.com/2/post/2013/06/tell-us-how-you-really-feel.html

Speaking of which… SUPER Side Note – My Super Bowl pick: Seahawks (+1) OVER Broncos

I hate to self-promote here (no I don’t! I love self-promotion) but Casino Royale has dominated Vegas this year with the picks. I was 2-0 against the spread last week, and I reiterate, I’ve only missed one game straight up throughout the entire playoffs (once again, thanks a lot Andy Dalton).

Admittedly, at the beginning of the season, I picked the Broncos to beat the 49ers in the Super Bowl. I have no problem conceding that I was wrong there. But I picked the Seahawks to win it all at the start of the playoffs and I’m sticking to my guns on that, at least. Last year, Seattle was a team that won because they played good defense and their quarterback carried the team on his back on offense. This year, they play GREAT defense and at times, win IN SPITE of Russell Wilson. They’re going to feel right at home in that cold, possibly wet Super Bowl in Jersey and I think Wilson is finally going to put together a consistently good performance for 4 quarters, just good enough to beat a frustrated Peyton Manning.

Seahawks 23, Broncos 20

“If you don’t want to date me that’s fine – I get that. But you’re wrong and I hate you.”

I’m officially selling tickets to ride the Kevin Durant bandwagon this year. LeBron is the greatest basketball player in the world and he is slowly gaining back my respect. I have to give props to him for everything he’s accomplished and continues to accomplish. But Kevin Durant said he was tired of second place after last year and he’s playing like it this year. I think he’s a no-doubter to win MVP this year.

Doesn’t Kevin Durant look like he’s kind of angry? After a huge breakaway dunk or a dagger three ball, he just has this look on his face like, “Hey, no Westbrook, whatever guys keep doubting me.” He’s holding the fire back because he doesn’t want to get over-analyzed in the media but you can kind of see it in his face. He’s playing with fire and a huge chip on his shoulder. Its like he knows we don’t believe he can pull what’s left of that team (post-Harden and injured-Westbrook) and win a championship. He understands why you don’t believe in him, and he doesn’t really blame you but… “You’re wrong and I hate you.”

“I don’t know, money isn’t a thing to me anymore… Cause I just charge it to the game”

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OK, lets say worst-case scenario, you’re an absolute nobody, or even just a half-sorta-kinda recognizable name in the football world and you decide to settle for the Cleveland Browns HC job. You’re STILL gonna pull at least a million dollars a year to take that job!!! How has NO ONE even entertained that idea?! I mean, the Browns haven’t even had a good, serious interview yet. Rumors are guys get a little bit interested, and then literally call the Browns and ask them to withdraw their name from the list.

There was a rumor that Brad Chudzinski, the Browns’ last “one and done” coach has been talking down about the organization and bad-mouthing the job when people call him to ask. If that’s true (which he vehemently denies), could you really blame him? Who was the Browns’ QB last year? Oh wait, they had like, 7 of them. And Chudzinski still got blamed and axed for something far beyond his control.

But still, you can’t tell me that the Cleveland Browns job is SO BAD that no one will take it. I just can’t buy that. Its millions of dollars a year to coach football. MILLIONS! There are actually a few positives to the job:

– That fan base is BEGGING to worship a winner

– You can start pretty much any QB you want. Any guy you can grab in the draft, any FA guys that pop up, anyone currently on the roster. Anyone. No one would argue that you should be starting Brandon Weeden or any of the other clowns they had playing for them last year.

– It pays millions of dollars… did I mention that already?

– Josh Gordon

– Joe Haden

Also, some downsides:

– You’d have to live in the greater Cleveland area for at least half the year

– They don’t have a QB

– All the good players they do have are going to jump ship ASAP **cough** Josh Gordon **cough**

The Browns have the opposite problem of getting “Ringwalled.” They’re the ugliest girl at the dance, and they’ll literally pay someone to dance with them for one song. And no one wants to.

Woof city, Cleveland. Woof.

Alice: You don’t look so good.

Adam (lying on the pavement): … Doubt it”

Just saw a headline: “Wade to miss 4th game. Heat not panicked”

If you’re the Miami Heat, at what point do you just let Dwayne Wade rest for the remainder of the season? I’m dead serious. Its not like they’re not going to make the playoffs. In fact, barring an absolute disaster, its pretty much a foregone conclusion that they’re going to get the two-seed as they sleep there way through the rest of the year anyways. They’re that good, and the rest of the East is that bad. The regular season is a formality for these guys. If you’re OK with just letting the Pacers take the one-seed (they’re certainly playing with that kind of attitude, that level of effort), who cares? Let D-Wade sit, get healthy, and give him some minutes a few games before the end of the regular season to get back in game shape for the playoffs.

This also allows LeBron to have the show, have his stage. He’s been complaining about how many shot attempts KD gets. So fine. Here you go LeBron. Wade’s on the bench, its up to you to score. Shoot away bro. Go get that 18th MVP award or however many it is. Look, if I’m LeBron James and I seriously want to make a run at being known as the greatest ever – better than MJ – I have to be realistic and understand that doubters will ALWAYS say, “Well, Jordan had 6. LeBron finished with ____” THAT’S what matters. And having a healthy D-Wade for an almost-inevitable 7-game set versus the Pacers (in which 4/7 games will probably be in Indiana even if Wade plays the regular season) is imperative for the Heat reaching the Finals for the fourth straight year.

Fresh legs, D-Wade.

“I’m like the most popular dude in my High School now that I’ve graduated High School.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Update – Cleveland Browns have hired former Bills Defensive Coordinator Mike Pettine as their new head coach.

Awesome! Mike Pettine. He is most definitely “the most popular head coaching candidate now that all the other head coaching candidates have jobs…” I’m sorry to keep picking on you, Cleveland. I am glad you guys finally got a coach. Its important to have one of those, no doubt. But it is funny watching Pettine and the Browns save face and polish this turd. At this point, its too hard to be like, “Yea, we TOTALLY wanted this guy to be our new HC!” But they are trying to say, “Well, this is Cleveland folks, and we got the best guy out there.”

Also applicable to this quote…

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Please sue me for not being more excited about the Masahiro Tanaka signing as a Yankee fan. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very happy this happened, in that division, the Yankees need pitching like Cleveland needs a tourist attraction (Oops I did it again!). But spare me the over-excitement. The Yankees are still, at best, the second-best team in that division. Toronto has more talent, they just haven’t put it all together yet. The Sux are defending champs. Baltimore resigned the best home-run guy in baseball (and they can still pitch), and I don’t think it would shock anyone at all to see Tampa scrap their way to the division title either.

All the Yankees did was fill a spot in their rotation with what we think is a quality pitcher. For every Chen Mien-Wang there’s a Kei Igawa and I’m just not sold on the Japanese pitcher transfer concept yet. I remind you, the Yankees might have the worst infield in the AL East: Tex coming off injury and almost an entire year without playing, same with a 39 year-old Jeter, some guy who’s completely dead to me just got suspended for the whole season at 3B, and Robby Cano took the money in Seattle leaving a gaping hole at 2nd.

Tanaka benefits from being the only big-name starting pitcher prospect this offseason and the Yanks shelled out the money to snag him. Lets leave it at that and hope for the best.

– Casino Royale signing off. “Take it sleazy”

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