Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. 20 minutes hard stop. Work lunch break.
Let’s turn and burn. Friday version.
1) Dwayne Wade has a long way to go to pass MJ. Interesting you should bring this up, Dwayne, and thanks for stating the obvious. Hell, Kobe has 5, and most people are like me and will only grant him “you are IN the conversation-WAY outside on the outskirts, but IN the conversation.” Remember, MJ has what I like to call the “reverse asterisk (I just made that up actually).” When someone gets a NORMAL asterisk, it means it slights the record. When you put an asterisk next to MJ, it elevates his 6 titles, or could be termed “and HE played two years of minor league baseball, biatch.”
2) Ohio State reinstates LB Storm Klein on its team. His domestic violence charges were dismissed, nothing GOOD had happened there in a while so why not welcome him back, and they just really, really liked the name Storm. And to the parents of Da’Rick Rogers, who recently got kicked OFF a team, Storm might be a different sort of name, but it is cool. Got it?
3) I love bad cheaters. By bad cheaters, I love teams or players who cheat but still are not good. Mississippi State is being investigated for illegal football recruiting. People, they lost SIX games last year. I don’t care if they were in the brutal SEC, it was still six games. Their cheating is not exactly paying dividends, but you might as well try since you are not stealing recruits from teams like Bama and Florida without doing so. In this case SIX is not good, as opposed to Seinfeld’s little proposal (I couldn’t find the video, but it was hilarious-trust me). “How about six? Six is good.” Lip Reader episode when he is verifying when he will pick her up and is obviously misunderstood with the whole six/sex thing.
4) The Colts are debating a “serious” trade. How about this? Why don’t you all just let us masses know when it happens. You are just in denial that first year QB’s struggle, and although you got the prize in this year’s draft, a losing season is in the cards and no serious trade will change that. May the force be with you.
5) YES. Someone hates Skip Bayless as much as me. I might crack on Fox Sports a lot, but I thank them for this gem. http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/skip-bayless-derek-jeter-kim-kardashian-of-sports-082312
6) I know we have football season coming up, I know there is still time, and I know I have mentioned this a few times already, but it still AMAZES me how quiet this NHL possible lockout story is.
7) The Yankees need a stroke of luck. Otherwise, they will lose a short series in the playoffs. Pitchers Nova is back on the DL now, Pineda is injured and getting DUI’s, and CC is struggling with HIS health. Slim pickings after these guys, and somewhere in the city of Pittsburgh, AJ Burnett is giggling.
8) THIS IS AWESOME. FREAKING AWESOME. THIS is what I like to see out of athletes, and I am now a fan of this dude. Hmmm. Let me combine my Olympic semi-fame with drinking. Sounds like a plan. Check it out. http://www.sbnation.com/london-olympics-2012/2012/8/23/3263271/nick-symmonds-beer-mile
9) THESE are the things that drive me CRAZY. This is how my mind works, people. If I am writing an email in my Hotmail account, and I type the word “hotmail” in the actual email, Hotmail actually flags it as a misspelled word. WTF.
10) The season has not begun, injuries will occur, players will slump, and it is what it is. But, I got to tell you I am pretty damn happy about my fantasy football team.
AND of course I got the Steelers defense, which doesn’t change what I am rooting for because you are ALWAYS rooting for your defense.
11) Rory McIlroy jokes about beating Tiger’s backside at the Ryder Cup should they match up against each other. Glad to see he likes to joke around, good to see Tiger laugh back, and insert the cliche about waking up that sleeping dog.
12) I would hate to be in Boston right now. First the Angels sweep them. The season is going downhill rather quickly. Today, it comes out that they might trade (that whole waiver thing) Adrian Gonzalez to the Dodgers. Sellers, aye? I can’t make TOO much fun of you as my Phils were sellers, also, but that just sucks, y’all.
13) Jones will fight Belfort in UFC 152 it was announced. Belfort, start singing this song along with me. His wrist bone is connected to his…elbow bone, his elbow bone is connected to your…face bone. Your face bone is connected to the…floor. I know the ending doesn’t work. Whatever. Moving on.
14) Lance, Lance, Lance. There is NO way you can spin this that you are quitting. Let me just say that I personally am a fan, and I wasn’t even totally buying the 7 straight titles in a very tough sport, but I would MORE believe in them if you fought it all the way. We don’t care if you are tired. We don’t care if you don’t feel like spending the time. We know you have the Michelob Ultra and other types of money. So, if you WANT to be known as the greatest of all time, and you DIDN’T cheat, then show us that the truth is you didn’t. Don’t quit now. Talk about asterisks. You will have the mother load of all asterisks…
15) That is it. Back to work. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.