Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
NOT on the clock. Over three hours until game time, and need to clear the list from the week.
1) When the heck did Boston and New York start playing the first series of the year? I thought we usually have some build up to the east coast bias and an overhyped matchup of the legendary clubs.
2) It is 1230. I am jittery. It is my favorite day of the year besides every other day that college basketball is played. Please check back with me on Tuesday, as I go through a mini depression when the games are done. Luckily, my mini depression is over once I realize The Masters are the following week and the NBA playoffs are right around the corner. The only other depression I have to deal with is in July and August when only baseball is going on. That is when I try and find constructive outdoor things to do with my time. Those are my hiking months. I am a very simple man.
3) The Big East is now the American Athletic conference. Maybe it will grow on us, but it is kind of cheesy and doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue like “Big East,” does it?
4) The Cardinals’ Daryl Washington has been banned 4 games for next season due to PED’s. He is yet another example of a guy who is cheating, yet we still have to Google him as the advantages of using PED’s evidently didn’t kick in enough to make him a household name because of his outstanding skills.
5) In case you need another example, Ravens WR Christian Thompson was also suspended 4 games. I am sure Joe Flacco is unhappy and Google is also happy with your searches.
6) Is this Brittney Griner/ Mark Cuban stuff over yet? I agree with you, Shane Battier, that some woman WILL enter the NBA, but don’t think that woman is Griner. I am waiting on some woman built like Shaq to come around first.
7) I am blogging while, with limited options, watching Expendables. What a brilliant idea it was to put all cheesy 80’s and 90’s action actors in the same movie.
8) If JaMarcus Russell gets a shot with an NFL team, is that more of a statement about JaMarcus Russell’s motivation or the state of the QB in the NFL? Just asking.
9) The Texas Rangers set an MLB record by striking out 43 players in their first 3 games. If my Phils suck this year, I am kind of rooting for them. Wouldn’t it be funny if the team that came the closest in history to winning the World Series but didn’t lost its best player because of money and then WON? Hey, Bill Simmons, does the Ewing Theory apply to MLB also? http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?id=1193711
10) Oh. And they quietly signed Elvis Andrus to a 8 year/ $120 million contract. Hey, Josh. You feel like drinking yet?
11) Cal’s Allen Crabbe has declared for the draft. I don’t know his family’s financial situation, but he is projected at late first round/ early second round. First round is guaranteed money. Second round is not. Why not play another year and make sure you get that guaranteed money? It is not like the Pac-12 team quality is the Big Ten or anything.
12) In news that I know will help you sleep better, you will be happy to know that Mike Piazza is keeping busy in retirement. He is doing a gig with the Miami City Ballet. He is not dancing and just doing a cameo/ non dancing role, and does anyone else think the name of the ballet would be better just being “Miami Ballet?”
13) The Blade Runner wants to train again. I didn’t read the story, so I don’t know whether he thinks he will compete again or is just training to not get killed in prison. Would his legs be considered a possible weapon in prison? Just asking.
14) See? I have a heart and can think certain things are cute. http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/the-cutest-things-that-ever-happened
15) My boy, Brian, sent me a Masters pool invite. I am very excited about it. You pick players from certain ranking indexes to create your “team.” Just what I need. Another reason to love next weekend on my couch.
16) Actually, I think I will spend Saturday afternoon with Skyler. We created this fun game last year where you bet $1 on literally EVERYTHING that is going on. Slight confusion. Lots of bets going on. A LOT of fun. “I bet you he hits this NOT on the fairway.” “I bet you he three putts this.” “I bet you the next golfer they show will be wearing a red, green, or blue shirt.” “I bet you the next hole they show is an odd number.” You get the idea. It escalates of course.
17) Speaking of escalation, I need to get to an airport. I will be a hit…or THAT idiot guy. Looks fun and I am intrigued. http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=OpJ6Va9gyFg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DOpJ6Va9gyFg
18) I had NO idea, and am embarrassed AND proud that my badass girl was the one who told me this. She watches Duck Dynasty. I live and breathe with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Guess what? The crazy looking dude from that show actually was actually the BETTER QB at Louisiana Tech over some guy named Terry Bradshaw. The duck guy didn’t enter the draft because the NFL season interfered with duck hunting season. Awesome. http://www.aetv.com/duck-dynasty/meet-family/phil-robertson/
19) As decisions are about to be handed down for their school, I think that the University of Miami’s favorite person in life right now is Mike Rice.
20) Mariano Rivera saved his first game yesterday. Talk about the state of the Yankees, we are almost a week into the season. Seems kind of late for a first save, don’t you think?
21) Brendon Ayanbadejo, a gay rights activist, has said that four NFL players will be coming out and announcing they are gay. About time, we will all be better for this, the NFL will be blazing the trail, and I think that it is a good call that MULTIPLE guys come out as opposed to one guy. Harder to crucify wrongly FOUR people than one.
22) OKC Thunder beat the San Antonio Spurs for the home court edge in the playoffs for the moment. This might not sound like a big deal. In the coin flip that is San Antonio and OKC for best Western Conference team when both healthy, just pencil me in for whichever team has four games at their crib.
23) On that note, I am surprised on the regression of the Clippers. I thought they would be getting BETTER as the season went on. That has not happened. Chauncey’s health is KEY for them making a run. Sad news in Denver. Gallinari’s injury was that ACL thing. Season ending. They are a team that because they have no go to guy this doesn’t kill them, but of all of the guys on the roster they could afford to lose, it was not Gallinari in my opinion. With Lawson ailing and Gallinari out, I am forced to demote them a tier.
24) Ed Rush resigns as Pac-12’s ref boss. So, you are telling me that less than a week after writing off the Miller comments as “in jest,” he resigns? Odd.
25) The NFL has reported that there were no violations at the combine in the questioning procedure. And just to let you know, the grass is green and the sky is blue. They just wanted us to know that they were INVESTIGATING it at all. That’s it.
26) For all you people who worship NFL kickers, Jason Hanson retired this week. Wait. Does that mean he was kicking while Barry Sanders was still playing? I am TELLING you. Don’t let your kids be RB’s or QB’s. Make them punters or kickers. They can affect games in the most watched sport in America, and refs will call penalties if anyone hits your son.
27) There is a four way tie for my favorite animal in the world. Mongoose, cheetah, wolf, and golden eagle. One of them came to my work the other day. VERY cool. Here are some pics. If you have read this blog the entire span, you know the reference. I think the T-Rex and Bald Eagle are overhyped. The Allosaurus and Golden Eagle are better and just don’t get pub. I have been quoted hundreds of times in my life saying “He is the Golden Eagle of…”
(I am technically disabled. The photos won’t load. Basketball is about to start, so I will try later)
28) Props to my ex-coworker, Janelle. One of my favorite pic tures in the world is the one of Ronda Rousey in ESPN Mag’s skin issue. Check out this painting Janelle did.
29) Speaking of paintings, check out this elephant painting a picture of…an elephant.
30) I just saw a chick with a cat on a leash. Odd.
31) Opening day was yesterday and my legs are sore. Yup. Must have been dancing. My late 80’s/ early 90’s style. Probably this dance:
32) Lindsey has found something to do while I am ranting for 2.5 hours. Napping.
33) What is up with all of this gay slur stuff that goes on in soccer? Grow up, world.
34) Marshall Henderson has written a letter of apology…I guess for being a talented jackass. http://www.usatoday.com/story/gameon/2013/04/03/marshall-henderson-thanks-ole-miss/2050809/
35) Lance Armstrong pulled out of three swimming events this week. Yeah. You are pretty much done, dude. Just fade away, man.
36) A Cornell wrestler is accused of raping a chick while she was sleeping next to her female partner…and you thought YOU had problems. Read that headline again. Weird.
37) The Steelers Alameda Ta’amu got probation only for his recent charges. Loophole and smart call. He only got probation because he said that the unmarked car and undercover cop chasing him was an angry motorist. Genius. I have a feeling his harsher conversations are yet to come…with the Rooneys.
38) It is kind of cool I guess that the Louisville men’s team and women’s team are in the Final Four. It will be even cooler when Louisville rocks Wichita State today and the women’s team beats Cal. The UNCOOL thing about this equation is that the women will have to play the winner of the UCONN and Notre Dame game. As Ivan Drago mistakenly said, “you will lose.”
39) How many times have UCONN and Notre Dame played this year? It feels like they are playing every two weeks.
40) Am I the only person to think that Rocky IV stopped the Cold War? If there is anyone out there in that boat, email me. We can go out for beers.
41) I love the new Grant Hill commercial.
42) Watch Men At Work, which FINALLY has new episodes coming out. It is very funny. Trust me.
43) When going to get my computer at work this morning with a hangover, I heard the best 3 songs back to back on the same radio station. Free Fallin. Solsbury Hill. Sister Christian. For you younger people: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMwn_hnoS5Y http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z92bmlcmyq0
44) I still think that Solsbury Hill has the best lyrics of any song in the Billboard Top 100 EVER. http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/peter+gabriel/solsbury+hill_20107506.html
45) We didn’t get one, but Lindsey said something funny last Sunday. “It feels like a tattoo day.”
46) I think you could make a killer drinking game with Expendables. You take a shot of beer every time someone dies. You would be TRASHED.
47) Kobe Bryant is now 4th on the all time NBA scoring list. He is not a center that can chill out in the lane when they have lost a step. He won’t get to Kareem.
48) So, the Falcons continue a busy offseason by getting Osi Umenyiora. Either it will work, or they will be the 2013 edition of the early 2000’s Redskins.
49) Paolo Di Canio is getting heat after his recent hire for being a fascist. I am not sure what that has to do with soccer formations, and they have enough other problems with race and sexual preference, but now you know. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22017645
50) When I watched The Siege last week, they had a preview for Entrapment. Nothing like bringing back Sean Connery back as the cool ex-bond, getting fidgety with the sexual contact between the two age separated characters, or the genius of having Catherine Zeta-Jones do fun gymnast stuff between red laser lines.
51) Kyrie Irving has been cleared to play. I am sure he is excited to be back with his 23-52 club.
52) 2004 and 2005 were not THAT long ago. How does DU fire this guy? This is like the unclassy version of UCLA basketball. http://www.denverpost.com/du/ci_22930668/gwozdecky-remains-puzzled-after-firing
53) I think I will be 50 years old and David Ortiz will still be coming back from some injury.
54) Ex-Toledo coach Bob Nichols died this week. Thoughts and prayers to his family. I find it intriguing that he got fired after two straight losing seasons, but their court is still named in his honor.
55) I am now watching pre-game Final Four stuff. A shout out to my best friend, Scott, for inviting me to the Final Four in Detroit. Row 29 as his dad was an AD of a school, and across the aisle from Bill Self and Cheater-pari. Boeheim was a couple rows down. What a weekend. Thanks, bro. Check THAT off my bucket list.
56) A shout out to my ex-boss and still friend, Vince. I saw him at opening day. You still look good, bro, and one of my favorite days ever was balling against you during our Crystal Ball afternoon at the park. It felt a little weird shoving my boss, I got my 3’s in here and there, and dude can flat out ball however you look at it.
57) Lindsey is very much into Denver Cruisers. I think I might do it this year. I think that it is for people who are smart enough to not drink and drive. Have a couple drinks, go jump on a bicycle, and cruise around Denver. Good times.
58) LATE addition that is not on my list. Thanks to my brother, Matt, for sending this over. The Fillerbuster was all over the Denver “monkey dog.” It was pretty cool until I saw THIS video. Make sure you watch it to the end. The wall he climbs is amazing, and make sure you check out him jumping while a lazy dog is looking at him saying “I need to get a life.” Enjoy Tret, the super dog, who does the dog version of Urban Jumping, Urban Climbing, or whatever the hell they call those people who run through the streets and climb everything. This would be the stud dog, and I guess that Doberman book I read like 200 times (Maxx I think) when I was a kid was the nerd dog who knew like 7 languages. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10152702593195626
59) The new Pizza Hut pizza has my name ALL over it. Might be tonight in between games. I need to do an experiment and eat it in case it tastes better than the stuffed crust one.
60) Has Carson Palmer underachieved or is he just aging VERY slowly?
61) Adidas has stopped making the jersey of Kevin Ware due to moral issues. I think this is a good idea. Making money off of a video that no one in their right mind EVER wants to see again?
62) Do you think Matt Flynn and Matt Cassel go out for beers?
63) KC Chiefs Brandon Albert is sitting out workouts. Andy Reid will respond, but is waiting it out working on verbiage since he likes to talk through the media to people he can just call or text directly.
64) ALERT: There was a DECENT article on Fox Sports this week. Run out and see if there is a meteor shower going on also. http://msn.foxsports.com/collegebasketball/story/howard-garfinkel-teacher-to-john-calipari-roy-williams-coach-k-michael-jordan-larry-brown-lebron-james-chris-paul-040213
65) I don’t know. ARE we hyping Danica Patrick too much? I don’t care as long as they don’t stop those mostly skin baring Go Daddy commercials.
66) I use slashes and “…” a LOT in my writing. I guess that even though my thoughts don’t straddle the fence, I use slashes to give me options.
67) I don’t know which thing I find more incredible and incredibly satisfying. Robert Downey Jr. making a full comeback, or a guy from N’Sync being one of the most respected musicians in urban music.
68) By the way, Steve Alford will be PERFECT for the UCLA gig. He has talent in place, and I assume he will wear that big ring from ’87 into the first team practice. I don’t know if they give you a ring for being the MVP too, but if they do, he will wear that also.
69) “PSG jolts Barca with late equalizer.” I don’t know what this means, but it is on my list, it has something to do with soccer, and you are now updated.
70) In the other sport I joke about reporting, there is something going on with Logano and Stewart in NASCAR. Blocking someone was not in Days of Thunder, so I don’t know how pissed he should be. I just know that rubbin’s racing. That is IT.
71) I am retired from sports betting outside of Vegas limits, but if I wasn’t retired, I would go throw $100 on 8/1 Washington and 10/1 Toronto to win the World Series.
72) Lindsey and I want to go see our exiled pastor at some point, who is magical on the microphone and got me going to church again. Lindsey was watching that Mindy show the other night. Our pastor was pretty similar to the guy in season 1, Episode 20 (I just hit “info”).
73) I don’t think I am talented enough to do this anyway, but this guy obviously doesn’t like sports and has LOTS of free time. http://i.imgur.com/XMqeWam.gif
74) Lindsey gets upset sometimes about my wish to “die cool.” I have no fear of death except that I might die crossing the street or something else boring. When I see shark specials or sky diving stuff, I just say “I wouldn’t mind doing that when I died.” It is sad, but true. I am still pretty sure that a killer bee swarm will be my destructor, but I would have no problem jumping into shark infested waters to see them face to face before they tore me apart. In my dreamworld, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would kill me.
75) Lindsey sent this to me because it has me favorite funny guy and my favorite team. I still have not gotten it to successfully load, but it sounds really funny. http://teamcoco.com/video/paul-rudd-naked-pittsburgh-steelers?.src=ap:50275
76) USC will lay off the patent of “dunk city” even though they just got their coach. How the HELL did no one think of patenting “dunk city” before FGCU? Confused.
77) On a related note, Phi Slamma Jamma’s coach just got the call from the HOF. First of all, no offense, Guy, I don’t think you deserve it. Second of all, you DID have the coolest moniker ever for a group of athletes doing something the public likes.
78) If you caught the high school All-American game, you noticed three things. Andrew Wiggins has the potential to be something REALLY special, UK had SIX players in the game, and the Harrison players play like…they are identical twins (and they are really good).
79) The good thing about my Jeep stalling and me not fixing it is that if someone stole it, they wouldn’t get far. Only I know how to drive it. It is like a smart phone with a four digit code to get to the home screen. I could just leave it running with keys in all the time.
80) I don’t really think about where to eat breakfast on weekends. Eleanor, my Jeep, just drives me there like KITT. http://www.moesbagel.com/
81) I am happy that Wrigley is going to get renovations. I am sad that I have not knocked that off my bucket list before it will happen.
82) Lindsey just told me that she now wants to play golf. We have decided that we will not invest in 18 holes and just go to the driving range until she understands how much patience the sport requires.
83) The Honus Wagner 1909 card just sold for $2.1 mil. I think I have concentrated my hobbies in the wrong area.
84) I have a feeling, win or lose, that this is Boeheim’s last run. Dude already looks miserable in every interview, he has a championship, and I think he is just irritating us with the 2-3 zone for a story.
85) It is so cool that I am showing you again. Hovercraft. Golf. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA5wqItjKFc
86) I already posted this, but it is still pretty funny. Condor. Guy falling on ice. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcd3DKWlqUk
87) It is 3pm. We are about an hour from tip. I am bouncing off the walls. The first game is a game, but the second game is THE game. I have never seen a game so 50% from every single expert. Michigan will win by three. Mitch McGary is the key. Although I think Louisville will win handily, I don’t have money on it, so I would LOVE Wichita State to win. Anyway, gotta check out. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
88) Just a tagline. I am off tomorrow. Talk to you Monday before the NCAA finale.
88a) For all of you people who don’t know why I turn my hat backwards when switching from work mode to play mode, here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxMBAjp6PhI