Catch of the Day
While I was sitting here visualizing JR Smith with his eyes closed meditating with his Knicks teammates while doing “mindfulness training,” I had my own idea. I don’t have time to do the whole rant list today again, so let’s play a game.
WHERE ARE YOU ON MY LIST?
I like lists and flowcharts. Bottom line. Let’s do an NFL Super Bowl contender check. There are three groupings of teams.
GROUP 1 “You can start drinking even earlier on Sundays…”
Jets: The circus is what makes watching your team fun.
Dolphins: You can make a case for being the best team in Group 1.
Chiefs: Your reward for last season’s cake schedule was a brutal one this year. Not happening.
Raiders: When “showing life” in a game is a good thing, it is not good.
Texans: Somehow provide me Arian Foster fantasy points and win Watt the MVP while losing a lot more.
Titans: 2-4 with their schedule is enough reason to put them here.
Jaguars: They have a “foundation????” Kind words only.
Falcons: I have no idea what is wrong with these guys. In the running with Miami to head up this group.
Buccaneers: And 2015 they will join the Bills as a preseason dark horse…again.
Vikings: The only thing that sucked is that they didn’t start winning without A.P.
Giants: Well, when you are bipolar, you can’t be in the worst OR best group, even though that is the way you act each week. But, I count two wildcards between at least 5 other better teams, so this is where you stay.
Skins: I was actually one of the fools who thought Cousins was going to BREAK OUT. Not.
Rams: The depression of being put in this group better be offset by the fact that a pissed off Seattle team is about to visit them and destroy them.
GROUP 2: “At least possibly getting run out of the playoffs in the first or second round gives you another reason to watch games besides fantasy football.”
Bills: Haven’t you been a preseason dark horse for like 5 straight years?
Ravens: They are destined for a wildcard deciding final game with the Browns.
Browns: They are destined for a wildcard deciding final game with the Ravens.
Steelers: I am pretty sure the only reason they made Group 2 is because I am a fan. Bottom of this heap.
Chargers: Schedule, people. They might literally lose their last five games. Check their schedule (@Ravens, Pats, Broncos, @49ers, @KC).
Panthers: They are just irritating and get to play Falcons and Bucs twice.
Lions: In the running with that defense to be the best team in Group 2. I think Packers take their division and ruin home field chance. I only have room for so many teams. Sorry, Ponto.
Bears: Still not seeing the consistency of a team like that on paper should.
Cowboys: Win at Seattle was impressive. We have seen this before. Dallas will fall apart on home stretch. Maybe a 5 or 6 seed.
Cardinals: Buying the playoffs, not buying beating Green Bay at Green Bay or Seattle at Seattle.
Pats: Aside from health and a slow start, you are still there…just hanging around. But loss of Mayo and Ridley make me cautious.
GROUP 3: “You, my friend, are a possible contender.”
Bengals: On paper, legit, with a percentage of New York Giant inconsistency. Still get Steelers twice, Browns twice, Jaguars, Texans so home field is a definite possibility.
Broncos: They are hoping that this waste of time regular season somehow allows them to locate a consistent running game.
Colts: Still my closet pick, people. They have it all.
Saints: Whatever. Record, schmecord. They will make a run.
Packers: Done with slow start. Arguably best QB in league we somehow forgot about.
Eagles: Not sold, but they still are 5-1, and both Dallas and them have relatively tough schedules. Think they pull the division and a home game. This ties with Bengals for worst team in this group.
49ers: Slow start threw people off. This team has the goods.
Seahawks: Loss at home last week or not, plenty of time to right the ship.