Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. No, it is not an airplane cast. Sunday afternoon blog in front of the Broncos game blog. Semi-speed version as I have work to do. Let’s turn and burn.
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DISCLAIMER: This blog is sarcastic and is intended as harmless fun only. This is not a blog for sensitive readers. Know that any seemingly derogatory or abrasive statements are NOT MEANT AT ANY LEVEL OF SERIOUSNESS. Read on ONLY after accepting the above statements.
- Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for coming aboard (the boat). Let’s move.
- I would like to announce the arrival of Mark 2.0. More to come on this. Let’s just say that I have pissed off a lot of people in my life, and I will be nicer now (not in the blog). I am pretty lucky. I have Lindsey. Second part of this program is that I am going to be ripped like I used to be. Who needs a six pack when I proved when I was 26 that it is technically an eight pack? Boom goes the dynamite, and more to come. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no
- Floozies might have been the best concert I have ever been to…aside from the usual suspects…like Panic, A-Bros, B-Boys, etc…
- The night started with me expecting 7-10 people in the band and there were TWO people. Brothers. The sound they put out was sick. Pics later.
- Oh, crap. I forgot to put it in at the end of the blog last night. Worse piss line ever was when this chick started singing Journey-Don’t Stop Believin’.
- Brought in a String Cheese guy for one song.
- I love Mike Tomlin. I love the fact that we have had three coaches since the early 70’s. Amazing. I would go into battle with Noll, Cowher, or Tomlin any day. You deal with moving franchises and different coaches and I am available for hugs.
- By the way, you didn’t hear it here, but the grey hats with pink trim that Haley and Tomlin were sporting today would not be the worst bday present for me. Just saying.
- Hey, Arkansas. I actually thought you were a contender. Guess I was wrong. Send me $30 tomorrow.
- Haha. Denver is losing (on editing, still losing).
- I mean, dammit, the Broncos are losing (sounding sincere and pounding desk to make it real).
- I think I might like the band Sum 41. I didn’t know the song before our wedding, but this song is my song that reminds me how much I love my wife. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8z-qP34-1Y
- Mom, listen to the lyrics. If I had to do our perfect wedding all over again, this song would have been on the list. Like the ceremony list. Like maybe our first dance list. Like…you get my point.
- I feel like Tennessee ran out of deals with the devil. I am not surprised they lost. I am surprised they came back, sent it to OT, went up by three, and THEN lost it.
- Today was the first day I had a chance in dipping into my own money on betting. And then I hit two parlays and two large bets. Back to BOVADA money. Boom.
- I plan on singing Can’t Stop the Feeling or Would very soon in karaeoke.
- Hey, Houston. Nice run. Navy? Really? And I backed off because of the 17 pts you were giving away. Too funny.
- I really enjoy my phone being in airplane mode. It kind of reminds me of when I lost my phone in a pool 15 years ago and decided to be without a phone for 6 months.
- Plus, I am the only person at the end of the night with juice for my phone.
- I think besides the Steelers winning today, the highlight of my day was Fox going to a commercial break to 1992 Dr. Dre.
- I LOVE 1992 Chronic Dr. Dre more than you have ever thought about loving it.
- I have never seen the Floozies. Ever. I went last night as I said. People who know me know that the songs I would pick to be mixed in my perfect world would be Frampton, Top Gun, Sweet Child, Wanted D or A, Dr. Dre, and Toto. I didn’t text the band. Got them ALL. What a run THAT was. Lindsey kept looking at me during those 15 minutes going “No WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
- Do people in fantasy football get Terrelle Pryor pts for safety, QB, RB, and WR?
- My most disturbing moment of the day was finding out that Frank Gore passed Jim Brown on the all time rushing list. Wrong.
- I hate Skip Bayless so much.
- It is guys like him and Woody Paige who solidify in my mind I should be on TV.
- Even Mark 2.0 #twocatmark hates him.
- I am very aware that my responses to 90% of all of your comments and photos are a) nice b) more to come c) I hear you d) right. “I hear you” is the most offensive. That means I don’t care and wan’t the conversation to end…or don’t know your name. If I say ” I hear ya, chief,” just go away.
- Minnesota might be pretty good.
- Or, Houston might really suck.
- Only 3 TD’s, Tom Brady? Slacker. 400 yards? Slacker.
- The Steelers looked really, really good today, and that score should have been about 50 to whatever.
- That Eagles loss will be an asterisk very soon. My boys are contenders. Isn’t it really the Pats, Broncos (until TODAY), and Pats in the AFC, and the Packers and Seahawks in the NFC? Raiders, Cowboys, and Vikings as maybe’s??? Come on.
- Bell runs so gracefully. He uses spin moves the most since Barry.
- And Barry IS the best. I will buy the tab. Bring your stats. I will counter and then some.
- You probably shouldn’t get in a sports debate with me…just to be honest.
- I dressed up for the concert last night and got vetoed about 12 times on my fashion attire.
- I need to buy more striped shirts. I look good in stripes. I don’t care if it is still hip or not. The stripes will go great with my cargo shorts.
- I tried swiss cheese on spaghetti last night and I have to say it was not bad at all. Hot sauce and parmesan really added to the flavor.
- I won’t do the long story of this. Last night, I was told to find someone who wanted to buy a ticket to the show. I found someone. Turns out that we ended up selling Avery’s ticket to the show. Miscount-not my fault. We found another one, but once again…being around me with tickets involved is bad karma. Ask Scott.
- Will you join me in the #stopmatthewlincoln campaign? I will start a website. Either that, or bring that huge bull back in all commercials.
- But, he has an Oscar now, and was nuts in True Detective.
- Always order what your bar server just ordered as they eat there all the time, and that will give you the truth.
- I love how I have been greeted with my gang sign twice in the last two weeks. Next person to give me my gang sign, I will give a $1 to. Snapchats are legal.
- The next time you are in a trivia contest, ask them who has the most amount of FG’s in NCAA history. Zane Gonzalez. 89.
- Nats won today. My picks in MLB are still spot on thus far. I should bet on baseball.
- And here you go with my four paragraph hook about the WNBA. Lynx. Sparks. Going for fourth title. Just kidding. I am done with this.
- So, we are right now down to Bama, OSU, Clemson, Michigan, A&M, and Washington. I am personally down to Bama, OSU, Clemson, and Washington.
- I don’t care about the rain. ND athletes can’t figure out a way to win against NC State. Weak. I already hated ND. I hate ND more when I bet on them.
- I can’t tell you how happy I was with the Bengals and Broncos fans not at Under the Snug today. So relaxing.
- I think the Jack Reacher commercials are pushing the limits on cheesy-ness. It is like the 2016 version of Arnold in Commando.
- One more. I love that movie.
- If Antonio Brown is ever off the field, I assume he is changing his cleats.
- Criminal Minds is a show that is still on TV? I remember watching that when it began and then it started sucking.
- Whoa. Pizza Hut has a grilled cheese stuffed crust pizza? So, aside from missing the word “macaroni” it might be the greatest thing ever?
- Editor’s note: not “shootout.” Showdown. My bad.
- I truly believe I can eat more deviled eggs than any person on this earth.
- I don’t think Lindsey realizes that I blog in about 80% shorter time when not being interrupted.
- And then she wonders why I blog for so long. You have no idea how fast I type or how focused I am during my blog zone.
- I freaking HATE Broncos fans yelling “incomplete.”
- I think my Droid contract is up this month. What is the next greatest camera phone I can get so I can tell you how professional of photographer I will be?
- PICS: Lots of play on Instagram with this one.
- Dancing cans…GABF.
- Only certain people will get this joke. Networking. #williamstavern
- I have a picture of Charlee that isn’t bloggable but priceless. Ping me if you want it.
- Crew for Floozies but not sure where Linds went.
- I love when she is happy.
- Person we oversold the ticket to. Layna, who I then found inside getting busted for pissing by the stairs. Downward spiral.
- Both Lindseys with me pro photography skills.
- Now, I am just showing off. From my phone. Amazing photo.
- Notice my gang sign.
- A blog would not be a blog without Avery flipping us off.
- I am pretty sure the other Lindsey had a good time.
- There are so many things going on in this photo. And it makes me think I can be a professional. Someone buy me a camera. Oh yeah. Then, I would have to carry it around. That would suck.
- First pro pic.
- Second pro pic.
- Third pro pic.
- Come on.
- Mark? Be good.
- Easy one. Basic.
- I actually didn’t know you could still get “iced,” but glad I went in third.
- Good decisions.
JJ REPORT (totally spaced on how I have not mentioned my main follower): Well, the Steelers game was not on main TV, I went and watched it, you do the math, but I am now version 2.0…so I am fine
FINANCES: So weird not mentioning Bryan S. on this. I feel lost. Owe Vince a beer.
VINCE’S SPANISH: No update. No bueno.
STAKEHOLDERS: No one wants free money I guess.
SOCIAL MEDIA: 484, 59
PRIZES: Yeah. I got a prize. Keep reading.
TIME: Greg, 59 minutes door to door.
DAILY TRIVIA (sorry-Google is too powerful and you can look it up, so the daily prize has to be about…me): Prize is in here. Keep looking.
WEEKEND SCHEDULE: I have no idea until I ask my wife.
TWO CAT MARK UPDATE: Deplorable.
That’s it for today. Hope you enjoyed or at least are more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Onward and upward. Peace.
Prize: Here is the deal. I want to write this everyday, but kind of enjoy a day off here and there. Prize is this. Someone write me a guest blog. One page minimum. It is not that hard. No bullet points like I do. Something focused and targeted. Tuesday I will post. Post it on FB for celebrity status. First person to write me something substantial gets $15. Don’t think you have something to say? I have ideas. Don’t send me dribble like I write.
Vince: why MJ will forever will be the best
Rob: either why you never say what you do outside of work, why you turn off your phone, or something about the Indians being good
Marty: the sudden rise of Cornhusker football
Hoban: anything baseball…you know everything
Cerk: the sudden rise of the Vikings
Brendan: why the Saints should win every game but don’t
Robert: blah blah blah Crimson Tide yada yada yada Nick Saban blah blah blah
Ponto: why you don’t read this blog because it goes to a secret Outlook folder or how tough it is to be a Lions fan
Greg: how Pats fans and non Pats like me worship Tom Brady or how great the comeback was in 2004 for the Red Sox
Logan: anything…you are a sports genius and you got me rocking on this thing that is developing fast now
Mr. Royal: He is top secret ops, was my co-blogger, and disappeared
Sanchez: write me a basketball article…I hear you talk…you know your stuff
Giebel: write me about hikes or how you were the person who coined the term “hooks”
Dunne: I guess running in Wash Park??????
Chris K: write about how you designed this site
Scott: write me about how the Skins and Wizards just continue to let you down
Lee: write me about biking I suppose
Ross: write about how every single thing in life sucks before it actually sucks
Not limited to the above. Just giving people ideas.
First person to write me a good guest blog will be posted and be paid $15 in cash the day after I get it
(you think it is tough writing a one page blog one time? try writing this every day)