You are just too good, sir. On a regular basis. Damn you. No soup for you this year…
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. I am tired, but I seem to digress when typing on a plane. Plus, I am too tall to sleep. Airplane rant. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people, from 20,000 feet above the earth. Never mind. Lindsey says 35,000 feet above the earth according to the Frontier TV that said it past tense but now we would have to pay $7.00 to find out. Anyway, let’s get to my brief vacation check in. I hope to write just longer than that guy from Ohio took to die from lethal injection.
2) I TOTALLY spaced on talking about the Rockets yesterday. MY bad. Unless you live in a bubble, you know they went 12-20 from 3 point range in the first half and scored 73 points. Then, in one of the oddest occurrences ever, they did not hit ONE 3 pointer in the second half AND Harden was held scoreless on their way to 19 points. In case you care and want to tell your friends, it was the second lowest half of all time AND the biggest margin between first half scoring and second half scoring…ever. Listen. We love the Rockets. They are like a poor man’s Golden State with an idiot in the middle. But, contenders? No. Live from the outside, and die from the outside. You are going to have halves like those, although not to that extreme. AND, when Snowball is shooting bricks from the free throw line late in games, it doesn’t help. They are a gimmick. They are a good team to go see your team play. They are second round losers in the playoffs. They are OKC and San Antonio’s bitch. The Lin signing wasn’t supposed to be the idea of paying a backup that amount of money. They are the 2014 of the mid 2000’s Phoenix Suns without the scoring and Matrix.
3) I have noticed that when I get excited and tweet about something, I sometimes forget to write it on my blog list. By the way, the Houston Rockets team Twitter account had the FUNNIEST tweet yesterday. First half: Godfather 1 and Godfather 2 Second half: Godfather 3. Hilarious.
4) I would like to congratulate Toronto on being an Atlantic Division team in the Leastern Conference with a winning record. A stellar 19-18. Cut down the nets. Celebrate. Know that you had to win 7 of your last 10 just to get there. Know that you have no chance at getting past the second round. Know that the battle you are presently fighting is the end point.
5) Wow, I am really mean today.
6) I shouldn’t be. I was invited to poker with work people last night. I won. Well, Dave and I decided to split the big pot. Negotiated win, and if Dave wrote a blog, I assume he would say HE won. Anyway, I guess I will say my winnings covered about 70% of the gym locker room robbery losses.
7) DeAngelo Hall has spoken to the media and said that HE thinks the Redskins should change their name. I flew to DC yesterday and spent 10 hours pacing K Street and wandering the George Washington campus. I surveyed 400 people. 397 of them said that DeAngelo Hall should not be allowed to speak into microphones at any time. One person that did not was crossing the street at a busy light and just gave me the finger. The other two were foreign tourist and didn’t understand me.
8) The Tigers have signed Max Scherzer to one year and $15.5 million. I totally am down with this contract. The thing about ground ball and double play pitchers is that you need more than one season of greatness to be convinced. I would NOT pony up for this guy yet. I get the feeling he will be more like 15-13 next year and coasting along with a 3.5 ERA. Pay him for a year though to watch the festivities.
9) Did Kevin Durant just have 54 points and it wasn’t on the main page of the wire? This is like two weeks after he had 48 points and it wasn’t posted. Is there a conspiracy going on that we are not allow to see what brilliant things that dude is doing WITHOUT Westbrook?
10) I have no internet right now. I am not a pot smoker. So, what DOES happen with our new law when an opposing NFL team comes to visit weed friendly Denver? I have no idea why I am posing this question the one time I don’t have internet, but it is on my blog list, so therefore it gets written.
11) Do you realize that in less than 24 hours, a Jets player has both been told he was masturbating in a Target parking lot AND another one was asked to leave a plane? Just when Jets fans think things are normal and they have re-upped their loony coach, they have shopping and travel problems.
12) I don’t watch much MLS as I am a country guy and not club guy. That being said, I am going to go out on a limb and call the Philly Union idiots. You heard me. Idiots. I don’t know anything about the guy, but when you trade UP in a draft, I assume you should NOT try to do so to get a freaking goalie. The dude was the FIRST goalie EVER selected #1 in the draft. This is like last year in the NBA draft when everyone’s jaw hit the floor on the first pick, yours truly included. Freaking Bennett.
13) You know what? I change opinions on this daily. Sometimes I wake up and say “LeBron, it is smart that you coast during the regular season and THEN turn it on.” Other days, I wake up and say “MJ would have wanted to race to the elevator, and wanted EVERY damn game on his schedule.” Today is the latter. LeBron, I hope the Pacers whip your ass this year and that we start saying “he ONLY has 2 rings, people…”
14) I lied. I think the guy from Ohio would now be dead. 25 minutes. I have more to say. Let’s keep going.
15) Hey, Serena, and people who aren’t familiar with the old school tennis names. Congrats on breaking Margaret Court’s record at the Aussie Open. ANY time you break ANY Court record, you are doing something dope. Chick had TWENTY FOUR Grand Slams. That is just wrong.
16) I find it really funny that the best ever female tennis player’s (sorry, Martina, Chris, and Steffi) last name is “court.”
17) I am totally joking. I am a Steffi Graf HOMER. I just wanted to use the Court joke.
18) The Suns and Lakers are fighting. We don’t need to ask either why. The Suns are mad that Bledsoe went down when people were doing Good Will Hunting formulas trying to figure out how the hell they were ANY good. The Lakers are mad because not only are they the Clippers’ bitch right now, but they have NO plan. Just trade Gasol and end it.
19) Note. Pau’s brother is back in Memphis and they are winning again. Watch out for them. They are going to wreck some people if Marc can stay on the court.
20) Do you know what a triple edged sword is? I do. If Rajon Rondo does well, some team will make an offer Ainge can’t refuse. If Rajon Rondo does bad, then the whole “he was only good with Garnett and Pierce” debate will arise. If Rajon Rondo does his thing and it doesn’t translate because the rest of his team absolutely SUCKS, he will go Davone Bess in an airport out of frustration. Hold on. That doesn’t have a cool name. Davonning? Bessing up? Airbess? Portvon? I need to work on this. I will have my intern do this as a side project.
21) Tell your friends. Jim Harbaugh is the first NFL coach since the 1970 merger to take his team to the conference championship in his first 3 years. I feel like Andy Reid did it too. Must have been the second or third year for him. Anyway, stellar. Since San Fran will win the Super Bowl this year, I guess there are more records to be broken.
22) We, and by that I mean EVERYONE, poke fun at Matthew McConaughey for his acting, or lack of if it isn’t in the deep south, skills. That being said, and I haven’t seen the movie, he is nominated for an Oscar for best actor this year for that Dallas movie. AND, that series with Woody doesn’t look to bad (recorded at home and looking forward to watching it next weekend). Anyway, just giving someone their due when they step outside of the stereotypical box. Good job, Matthew.
23) By the way, we are finally to the year where Tom Hanks gets nothing for just being a damn great and fantastic actor. I saw one of the two possibilities for him this year. Captain Phillips. It was an intense movie. I assume Saving Mr. Banks is high quality also. But, walking out of Captain Phillips and then not seeing his name on the Oscar nominee list triggered something. Hanks has been truly put at a higher standard than everyone else. His resume is so all over the board, and we know he can be pretty much anyone in a flick, that just being a likeable captain of a vessel won’t get him nods anymore. Shame.
24) If the Penguins don’t win the Stanley Cup this year, and given they only have ONE Stanley Cup thus far with their present collection of absurd talent, is anyone else thinking that we might be grouping them with the 90’s Atlanta Braves if this holds up? Most talent, ONE title.
25) I am seeing my parents later today for the first time in 4 years. Don’t tell them that I believe I will be missing both the Kansas-Oklahoma State game AND the Wichita State-Indiana State game. Shhhh.
26) Where the %&^ is the show Drunk History? I am not joking around anymore. I need it back.
27) As you know, I am the captain of the not from Wichita State Shocker President’s club. IF they are going to lose at any point this season, today is the the first of four possibilities. Others? Northern Iowa, Toledo, and the end of the season tournament.
28) I am listening to a baby cry, and I suddenly realize we need those don’t shake the baby commercials on the radio.
29) Frontier, the fact that you charge for non alcoholic drinks really blows. Bags don’t fly for free, pay for the TV, smaller seats, and then the drinks.
30) You know the only thing that sucks about Manning-Brady? They are in the same conference. Instead of having Staubach-Bradshaw and Magic-Bird and FINAL showdowns, we get trivia questions about Rex Grossman and Jake Delhomme. Tom, sorry man-crush guy, you are losing by ten minimally this weekend. Ha. If I say “ugghhh” on this hook, it is ten times funnier because you wear Uggs. That is funny to me.
31) That is it. I am going to try and read something that is not a sports magazine and dive into Hunger Games so I can comment on it in the blog and actually know what the hell I am talking about. Hope you enjoyed or at least are more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
32) Just a tagline. Maybe Casino Royale has something waiting for me in my Hotmail inbox when I land or for tomorrow. Anyway, traveling along the Florida coast tomorrow and then football time. Might not have time tomorrow. Actually, OR Monday. Wait. Blogging on a Monday morning by the docks sounds PERFECT. Anyway, talk to you when I talk to you. Peace.