Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. The rant after a day off. Decided to write today’s blog from my favorite neighborhood spot, The Cantina (11th and Lincoln). Complex day of this, an hour at the People’s Fair, a little pool time, and then lock and load for work. If you are local, PLEASE check out The Cantina. The employees and I are still looking for a pool table, but aside from that, it is PERFECT. Let’s turn and burn.
1) Tiger Woods is having a good warmup for the US Open, shooting a 44 and his worse score ever for nine holes. Mentally, I worry a little about, considering the US Open can’t be won without every type of stroke being locked on, but I think he is fine. He used to occasionally drift off during non Major events even in his prime days. No one wins 4 tournaments before midyear without a pretty stable game. I would still be scared if I am the field, no matter what he does today.
2) Is Beckham touring Miami facilities because he will be simply a figurehead in whatever happens MLS wise, or is he trying to unretire faster than Randy Moss or any boxer of the last 30 years?
3) Serena Williams cruised into the quarters at the French Open. If you made me think about someone who might take her down, I could probably come up with a few names. But, if you don’t pressure me into that, aside from a suddenly clay playing Sharapova, I would have nothing.
4) Is it me, or has the nationwide appeal of the Yankees-Red Sox kind of worn off? Not TOTALLY. I am just saying the characters of the mid-2000’s seemed to carry the caring of that thing out of the northeast. Either way, the rivalry continues. Not like the fastest ending, most heated rivalry that suddenly STOPPED that is the Avs-Red Wings.
5) It needs a growth spurt I think, but the deer still has wheels. A deer decides to try its hand at horse racing. http://deadspin.com/wild-deer-tries-its-hand-at-horse-racing-510851552
6) I moved my buddy Cerk yesterday. Fun day. Drinks during, after, and my muscles are still sore today, but I have to say, Cerk. Your boxing up of stuff was very much subpar. He is helping me move in a couple weeks. He is lucky I have OCD and everything will be labeled, boxed, and VERY organized. AND fun because I don’t really own anything of importance.
7) But. Congrats to Cerk. His woman, Colleen, is truly a perfect match for him, they are the couple every couple wishes they were, and they now have a fantastic house in a great neighborhood to enjoy. GREAT people. True love (insert Princess Bride (greatest movie ever) quote HERE).
8) Grant Hill retired this weekend. FIVE All NBA Star selections, and probably would have been double that without the injuries. The fact that he came back from serious injury and played NINE more seasons is a token of his work ethic, motivation, and class.
9) Thought and prayers to Steelers Mike Adams. Of course I hope he can play football again this year, but incidents like this show there is a LOT more to life, and let’s hope for his healthy recovery first. No vital organs at least.
10) Can Strasburg and Harper get healthy so we can figure out what type of team they have? Yes, I am still all Chase Utley and the Phillies, but these two guys are my boys. I can’t help who the Phillies draft.
11) Miguel Cabrera hit a slam the other night and is hitting .369/ 17/65/.445. Amazing season thus far, but it still knocks me off my stool that Hack Wilson hit 190 RBI’s in a season like 10,000 years ago.
12) Since there hasn’t been an apocalypse, meteor shower, or alien invasion, I assume that Nadal is still advancing at the French/ Nadal Open. You know a guy is good when the world goes crazy when he drops a SET.
13) I was talking with Chris, the bar manager from the Cantina. He is a big time tennis guy. I need to go hit some balls. I was telling him about the year in high school when our team made the state semi’s, and my partner, Chris, and I took down two country club goons (two odd adjectives) who hadn’t lost all four years. We lost the team match, but what a pairing. A loud guy who celebrated when he hit someone in the nuts at the net (me), and the quietest, most polite guy with a lethal backhand (Chris). We were GOOD. Our tennis team used to bet a case of beer on who could get off the court in a win the quickest.
14) Eight days until The Doctor. It will no doubt be one of the smoothest documentaries ever made. It has to be. Dr. J defined smooth. It would be wrong to make a documentary that WASN’T smooth about him.
15) Isaiah Pead became the 4th player from the 2012 draft class of the Rams to be suspended. They must read my blog. They are building an INTERNAL Rant Squad. Damn you all. I should have trademarked that thing.
16) I am getting old. Someone at the Cantina doubted that Crocodile Dundee crowd surfed at the end of the first installment, before things REALLY went bad for the movie series.
17) I still look at a knife and do a bad accent and say “that’s not a knife.”
18) Have the Chicago Blackhawks suddenly started skating faster than everyone else? If Quick wasn’t the goalie, that first game would have been ugly. Remember what Barry Melrose says though. The Kings are pretty much unbeatable at home. They will stick around and lose in seven games.
19) I don’t bet, and I sure as hell wouldn’t bet on hockey. But, if I DID. I would have lost the rent on game 1 on the Pens against the Bruins, who smoked them 3-0. Stop being so emotional, Sid.
20) Wait a minute. When did Wheel of Fortune start giving out $1 million for picking the letters N,S,L T, R, and E?? http://deadspin.com/a-woman-won-a-million-dollars-on-wheel-of-fortune-last-510664632
21) Way to get things started, Quincy Pondexter. He gets a date with Miss Tennessee on Twitter, and now Nick Young is chasing Miss California through social media.
22) Good for you, Cheerios, for doing an interracial ad. Let’s bring it to all these people from the 1800’s who still haven’t grown up and accepted everyone. You people need to see the movie Crash and then go look into the freaking mirror.
23) It is in the works. Jones-Silva at Cowboys Stadium. It sounds like an exciting event to go to, and I guess the huge stadium TV helps, but I would rather watch it on HOME TV and see the faces of the guys rather than have them look like ants. Maybe I am just scapegoating the fact I don’t have the money in my checking account. We will never know. I need to save money for Rio.
24) Get better, Mookie. Tragedy. Much love.
25) I get so confused when things are live and when they are taped at the French Open. I would actually expend time to catch the upcoming Sharapova-Sloane Stephens match (could be one right now for all I know). For you non tennis people, Stephens is the next real hope in American tennis. I am glad Lindsey will have jet lag this weekend. Maybe it will appear normal when I wake up at 3am both Saturday and Sunday this weekend to watch the Finals.
26) Apparently, Justin Bieber drives really fast. Even Eric Dickerson took time out of his day to comment. http://deadspin.com/tmz-keyshawn-johnson-chased-down-justin-bieber-for-dri-510112524
27) Seriously, I am saying Yo-Yo Ma on a regular basis. As greeting. As goodbyes. In silent moments. At bars. It is infectious. I LIVE Seinfeld. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLZLei8ekzE
28) Tell me THIS story is true. Tim Tebow is STOPPING his NFL dreams???? I think I will subconsciously miss it, but stop trying to be a damn QB, bro. Be a fullback.
29) It didn’t work in the NBA, so why will it work in NHL? Roy to the Avs. Messier is in consideration for the Rangers. I don’t see Shaq, Magic, Bird, or Isiah coaching right now. Just hire the ALMOST good players and let the HOF’s be analysts.
30) So, not only did Shabazz Muhammad maybe cheat in his recruitment, but his father is bad too? Go figure.
31) Are there suddenly much MORE tornadoes?
32) The Braves might send BJ Upton to the minors. Well, I guess there goes THAT brotherly combo in Atlanta.
33) Retief Goosen withdrew from the US Open. Say it isn’t so. I hear that he would play if they just did sudden death holes as opposed to a whole new round the next day to determine the winner.
34) The joke is THERE. REACH for it, people.
35) I have a firm rule that if you text back and forth on the same subject more than 3 times, just CALL the person. Luckily, I don’t have to enforce the rule much since no one outside of Lindsey texts me. I am four days away from breaking the record for least amount of proactive texts from a person. Yay.
36) The fact that there have been no big upsets at the French Open means that the final two rounds set up for some AWESOME final matches. Kind of like in the NCAA Tourney when you are ROOTING for underdogs, but are happy when you have a Final Four with all teams #2 seed or higher.
37) Charles Schwartzel was in contention at the Memorial. Now THAT word should either be a Wheel of Fortune puzzle OR a Scripps Spelling Bee final word. It beats Knaidel. Two vowels in a ten letter word?
38) So, the Vikings let Harvin go and now are switching a QB over to WR? Seems kind of dumb. Overload at one position, and lacking in another.
39) The Cantina people now know what I look like when I blog. My focus is unbelievable on my laptop.
40) I heard the Dane Cook bit that ALWAYS makes me laugh. What is the one thing a guy wants over sex? A heist. I concur, and then some.
41) Pacers-Heat. My random comments as always, as you can go to ESPN for the game summary.
-The Pacers evidently have decided to double team LeBron the MOMENT he touches the ball
-Heat start out BECAUSE of this strategy going 6-7 from long range
-Hey, Lance Stephenson, stop being an idiot. An early technical foul? The coolest heads WITH luck and talent prevail every year. Google “spurs.”
-That Paul George dunk over Bosh was SICK
-LBJ talking about going back to his Cleveland days was a punch in the junk to Bosh and Wade
-With no Andersen because of suspension, am I seeing Juwan Howard dressed and on the front part of the bench? Hell, he was in college when I was in college. I suddenly feel lazy.
-West is now 0-7. Keep shooting bro. And don’t take him out, coach. He is the key and totally changes all matchups on the floor
-40-27 rebounding edge for the Pacers, 23-6 run
-Wade’s free throws still look weird. Not Shaq weird, but still weird. He should call Rick Ankiel.
-I just laughed out loud at my last point
-Wade and Bosh are now 3-17
-LeBron finally getting to the line for the first time of the game…at 2.6 seconds left in the THIRD quarter. Not good.
-The Heat put out a small lineup, and the Pacers respond by KEEPING their big lineup out there. I like it, Vogel.
-The Lone Ranger looks like it could be a stellar movie.
-fourth quarter, 8:27, 30-14 paint points for the Pacers
-Miller hits two three’s, and WHY hasn’t he been playing at all??? You must have read my Friday blog, coach.
-LeBron’s Forrest Gump like run down the floor after a call. You threw your elbow, Hibbert was vertical, and be quiet.
-42-22 points in the paint.
-Wade has 10 and 2, and Bosh has 5 and 4.
-Stephenson gets his first FG with 41.6 left in game, but he had 12 rebounds and settled down after that technical.
-Jeers to Hibbert for his cuss words and gay slurs. You just went down a HUGE notch to everyone who JUST got to know you outside of the basketball junkie circle.
-Wade wants more touches, and LBJ wants to jump like he did 2 years ago.
-favorite sign of the playoffs this year- Indiana fan holding up sign that says “built, not bought.”
42) That is it. List is cleared. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
***********by the way, I OWN that painting of Kramer. If my apartment complex was burning down, I would run in and grab only this painting. Most prized possession outside of my Steeler hats…and maybe my Jeep.