Why do you keep calling me Calvin?

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of importance or chronology…

Not on the clock, and slightly distracted watching 6 straight hours of football.  It is not being lazy.  I am DOING something.

Let’s turn and burn.

TWITTER: @fillerbuster11

1)       The PGA Tour season has begun.  I don’t know if my mind has changed as I have aged or if it is because of less Tiger dominated Sundays, but as far as golf goes, just wake me up when April and The Masters are here.

2)      Wait.  Don’t skip March.  The NCAA Tourney.  Don’t skip January either.  NFL playoffs.  Just forget about fast forwarding any months.  I am already rushing 2013.

3)      OU-A&M played in the Cotton Bowl.  I personally was extremely surprised about the domination.  I would have lost money in this won had I not be a retired bettor because I would have taken OU and the points.  By the way, sick, sick, sick.  What, you ask?  Manziel’s stat line.  Check this out.  287 yards passing.  229 yards rushing.  4 touchdowns.

4)      Now that the regular season is over, I will throw my two cents into the NFL MVP conversation.  Although what Peyton has done is amazing, especially after the injury he had, I am totally in A.P.’s corner.  Reasoning?  Peyton stat wise or record wise did not jeopardize any team or individual records.  A.P. threatened an old all time record.  Both are in the playoffs, meaning once again I sway A.P.’s way since you can’t discount either player.  Can we just stop giving SO much more weight for the MVP towards the QB’s ALL the time?

5)      Isn’t it odd that the two prime contenders for the MVP award are two guys ALL of us were wondering if they could even play at THIRTY percent of their old self this year?

6)      Not sure if Adrian Peterson is going bar hopping before or after tonight’s game, but it would be really funny if he stopped by THIS place.   http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/green-bay-packers-bar-taunts-adrian-peterson-with-banner-010613

7)      Shawn Marion might not be a Hall of Famer, but he sure knows what a good video game is when he sees one.  http://espn1420.com/super-marion-brothers-shawn-marion-does-his-best-mario-impression-video/

8)      The Cleveland Browns are like the ugly girl at a school dance.  Except instead of standing against the wall, they are going out and asking EVERY dude proactively.  Don’t worry, SOME coach will say yes.  Maybe you should serve alcohol at your interviews, Cleveland.  LOTS of it.  Do shots of Everclear.  I mean at least Arizona has Larry Fitzgerald to offer hope.  You have…I would have to Google it.  Oh yeah.  Trent Richardson, Brandon Weeden, ummm….yeah.

9)      Ravens LB Ray Lewis always brings the most energy of pretty much anyone who has ever suited up.  I can’t imagine the energy he is bringing tomorrow knowing that each game could be his last.  Hey, Andrew Luck.  You better bob, weave, duck, and slide.

10)   Colorado basketball lost a heartbreaker to #3 Arizona.  Yes, there was a controversial call at the end of the game.  Hey, Tad Boyle.  Be quiet.  Stop telling anyone who will listen that we should get rid of video replay.  It has helped in a lot of situations over the years, creates more clarity in the game, and I have never heard you complaining about it in situations when it HELPED you.

11)   A mediator is meeting with each NHL side separately to come to a resolution.  That is it.  That is all that is going on.  I think that they might still be reporting these vague deadlines day after day, and then suddenly someone will realize “Shit.  The season would already be over.”

12)   You see a lot of injury headlines, and LeBron does get a lot of media attention, but I never thought I would ever see a wire headline tell us someone is “achy” for a game.  Anyway, LeBron apparently is.  Achy.

13)   Kobe Bryant has joined Twitter.  No word on whether he has a bet with Steelers Ryan Clark to put out the most tweets.  You would lose, Kobe.  Dude is a Twitter animal.  I follow him, and it practically updates as I am watching with new tweets.

14)   Hey, NBC Sports.  We have all of this technology, and you are still too lazy to have the chick sing the pre game football song complete with playoff lyrics and NOT remove the non playoff players in the background.  You saw like 4 playoff guys in a row, and then Eli Manning comes on the screen.  Inconsistent.

15)   Glad he is on a bye week.  Thoughts and prayers to Falcons CB Asante Samuel and his family.  His mother passed this week.  What a shitty way to go into the playoffs.

16)   Tennis player Victoria Azarenka blamed a bad pedicure for her backing out of a match against Serena Williams.  Victoria, George Costanza could think of a better excuse on the fly WITHOUT media people and agents around him.

17)   An FSU baseball player was injured during skydiving.  Considering there are probably more “dead” headlines than “injured” headlines in that particular pastime, I would have to say that this is a GOOD thing.

18)   Am I a loser if I try to name all of the schools before the players say it during TV introductions of the defense and offense?  I do pretty well actually.

19)   Christian Ponder is officially out for this playoff game that is starting right now.  I have 3 things to say regarding this.  First, it is ok.  He sucks.  Second, it is great actually as the Packers now have to face a different type of QB than they prepped all week for.  Joe Webb runs a lot more.  Third, it is freaking cool that when I heard that Ponder was out, and talked aloud about “pondering” (hardy har har) who the backup was, Lindsey immediately chimed in Joe’s name.  Very cool chick.

20)   Cashing in your spare change at the bank is fun.  It is “just change,” and not counted most likely in your budget, so it is like winning something.

21)   How hasn’t Lovie Smith, who coached his dumbass headcase QB to TEN wins still, been picked up yet?  What are teams waiting on?  They must be waiting on that Bill Cowher or Jon Gruden call back.  They probably won’t be calling you back, folks.

22)   The Bengals-Texans game went about the way I envisioned.  Not a statement that they are “back” by any means, but a tough win regardless where they were in relative control for the second half.  I hope they go out and enjoy themselves tonight, and have a great prep week in practice, because the two things worse than playing Tom Brady are these.  Playing him at HOME, and playing him RESTED (aside from some jovial injury Belichick will put on the wire).

23)   I have had a few people say they would like to leave comments on my blog.  I will turn them back on for a week or so, but considering I was getting about 100 robot email notifications a day previously, I will just see how it goes.  I had one robot who sold wood benches comment like 10 times a day.

24)   Mavs Dirk Nowitzki will make his first start finally coming back from injury.  I agree.  His rust looks like it is going away in his last couple of starts, and considering the personnel losses from last year on that team, they need him on the floor.  Plus, it will be fun to see how him and new start OJ Mayo get along.  I want to hear some German curse words.

25)   The U.S. beat Sweden 3-1 in hockey.  It was the junior age group.  I am confused.  So, you are telling me that our KIDS are better than hockey mainstays’ kids, but when ours grow up, they suck in world play?

26)   Bama DE Quinton Dial won’t miss any time for his vicious hit on UGA QB Aaron Murray last month in the SEC Championship.  I get it.  It has to be BAD to not let him play in the title game, but I bet if Notre Dame had a say in it, they would appeal this decision in a HEARTBEAT.  Here, they are going to get smoked anyway, but now Dial is allowed to play, Jones is back, etc.  Notre Dame needs Bama ABSENTEES, not additions.

27)   I have really, really ugly feet.  Everyone agrees, and probably is not happy that my everyday attire of choice is a shirt, cargo shorts, and sandals.  Yes, even in 8 degree weather.  Anyway, what does not help the issue is my right toe.  A bar owner WAY back when tripped over my foot coming to shake my hand.  It took off my entire toe nail.  I was out and having some beverages, so logically the best way to resolve this was to go home and scotch tape it to my foot.  That didn’t work surprisingly, and I had to endure the pain of having Urgent Care tear off the rest of it.  Years later, it still is deformed and looks like my toe went into that car dealer’s place which has the head popping out of them giving them confidence.  With that comparison, I have a VERY confident big toe.  I say it gives my feet “personality.” ADDITION: When my foot became infected, I went to Urgent Care.  They asked how tough I was.  Since I had a filling done without anesthesia in 1999, I said “very tough.” (true story-but I digress).  The most painful day of my life was Urgent Care telling me they would rip it off without anesthesia.  They tried.  I cried like I had just seen Eight Below.  Then, they said they would numb me.  The needles alone made me cry again (like Eight Below again).  FOUR needles in my big toe. I could go on and on, but I think that gives you an idea of how much of an idiot I am.

28)   I hear that the Jets owner is telling GM candidates that the deal is that the one thing they can’t do is fire Rex Ryan.  Personally, that makes me happy.  I don’t love or hate the Jets, but enjoy the dribble that comes out of the media on a daily basis.  Plus, we need more on this tattoo of his.  You know.  The one with a female in a Sanchez jersey Tebowing.  Use a flowchart.  It helps-trust me.  Anyway, a guy at the bar last night added to the story.  My buddy Chris told me that the girl in the tattoo is allegedly his WIFE.  Now, I am REALLY confused and in need of a flow chart.  Who is the tattoo making fun of?  Sanchez?  Tebow?  His wife?  Himself?  Confused.

29)   Who names movies?  So, you are telling me that less than a month after Arnold comes out with a bang bang movie, Stallone ALSO releases a shoot’em up flick?  Not only that, it is called Bullet to the Head.  Wow.  LOTS of creativity in THAT one.  Are we suddenly in 1985?  Someone go check the DeLorean.  Oh shit.  That’s right.  They CAN’T be using the DeLorean.  If it is really 1985, then Doc and Marty are presently using it.  At least I get to view the Rambo movies again in their original state.  Even more exciting is that I get to hear Talk Dirty to Me, Pour Some Sugar on Me, and Winger’s Seventeen ALL over the airwaves in the next year.  Oh, and MTV still plays videos.  Yay.  I could do an entire rant on this ONE hook.  Moving on.

30)   One more.  Sorry.  If Jack Handy was on the case, he would say “If you use a time machine, make sure you don’t choose to go back to the year it was invented/ being used.” Oh, and since Bubba Watson already beat me to buying the General Lee, how the hell do I get my hands on the actual DeLorean?  By the way, you KNOW you want to see it again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1i5coU-0_Q

And this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZJ7cq6T3v4

31)    Nets G Joe Johnson hit another game winner.  Only 298 more of those until he actually earns his salary.

32)   The Clippers beat the Lakers again.  This is actually starting to sound, dare I say, normal?

33)   CRACKS me up.  I went on ESPN.com and found out that “Lance Armstrong might confess to using PED’s.”  I went on Fox, and it said “Lance Armstrong will not confess to using PED’s.”  Even the professional media writers are confused and half out of it for cycling headlines.

34)   Lindsey just laughed because Al Michaels just made a reference to Back to the Future in the game as I am writing this, and just made that last reference.

35)   Duke CREAMED Wake today in basketball.  Does anyone remember when Wake was actually GOOD?  I do.  I could show you.  See the DeLorean hook on why I can’t.  No.  Not saying 1985 was when they were good, but we already established it was being USED.

36)   Nick Saban sent two back up players home from Miami.  Seems about right.  Saban might be the expert football strategist, but when picking hotels, he is faulty.  Kelly housed his Notre Dame kids on a family resort in South Beach that is AWAY from the clubs.  Saban housed HIS players at a hotel that BY ITSELF has one of the hippest clubs in the world IN it.  Doomed.  I hope his kids got a look at what they wanted to see, because with him sending those two home as an example, I have a feeling there will be some GREAT behavior going on for the next day or two.

37)   In the Cincy-Texans game, on 4th and 11, Cincy threw a pass that went 6 yards in the air.  Sure, Watt was coming to get Dalton, but you have to at least give a prayer a CHANCE PAST the first down marker for one to occur.  Throw it past the marker, Andy.

38)   Dammit.  In the year of the Timberwolves predicted by yours truly, Kevin Love broke his hand again.  Their record will be important at the end of the season.  They need at least ONE home series to make the noise I am predicting.

39)   The Chicago Bears are looking at CFL coach Marc Trestman for their open position.  There are advantages to thinking outside of the box.  But, sometimes straying TOO far from the “box” just turns into plain stupidity.

40)   In women’s basketball, #5 Notre Dame upset #1 UCONN.  In related horse racing news, Turfway refuses horses from Hawthorne because of equine herpes.

41)   In men’s and women’s basketball, it seems to me that Notre Dame upsets the top ranked team over the last 50 years a LOT.

42)   That was a real headline about Turfway.  Sure, it was a joke, but if you need to learn more about the headline, here you go:  http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20130104/BUSINESS/301040129/Turfway-refusing-horses-from-Hawthorne-over-equine-herpes?nclick_check=1

43)   I am not helping you with the joke either.  Maybe Google Jim Rome and you will find a few tidbits.

44)   Remember you are talking to Creighton fan headquarters.  Doug McDermott will win the player of the year title, and Creighton will make some serious noise come March.  In case you care, they have quietly won 8 straight.

45)   In other bball news, Illinois beat Ohio State.  That must mean Illinois shut down all TWO of Ohio State’s scoring options.  St. Johns beat Cincy.  Bad day for the city of Cincinnati, and although I didn’t see the game, I will assume Cincy relied a little too much on their outside shot.  NC State barely took out monster powerhouse Boston College.  That was sarcastic by the way.  Boston College sucks, and we are all wondering WHEN NC State is going to show us they belong in the ACC conversation with Duke and UNC.  It hasn’t happened yet you can be sure.  I will let you know, since I am also the base headquarters of NC State’s resurgence.  Whoops so far.

46)   That is it.  I hope you enjoyed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.

47)   Just a tagline.  I am taking the day off tomorrow.  I will talk to you Monday.

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