What we need right now is called a “hook…”

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Let’s turn and burn.

On the clock as it will be a shorter version, but off the clock as it is the weekend so I have no rush to really go anywhere.

1)  Congratulations to BJ and Justin Upton, both star players and brothers in the Major Leagues.  Last night, and just an hour apart, they both hit their 100th home run.  They are the first brother tandem to accomplish this feat.  Think they will have some competition going on for the rest of their careers?  Yeah.  I remember being five years behind my brother and making sure I gave a run at every record he posted.  In swimming, it didn’t work as well as he was a stud breaststroker, and I was more of a back and fly kid.  I stunk at breaststroke, which got me out of a lot of IM races.

1a)  Back in our day, if you got a gush of water to spit in front of your chest, then you were doing it right.  Crazy to watch them dive ahead in breaststroke these days.

1b)  Matt, I would like to apologize for one upping you in a swim-a-thon during our winter league.  We did it for charity.  My brother swam earlier and did a solid 304 laps.  Being the jackass little brother, I decided to swim 305 and then jump out of the pool.  It was for freaking CHARITY, Fillerbuster.  Horrible display of sportsmanship.  Sorry, bro.

2)  I watched the end of the Olympic trampoline competition today.  It was crazy.  You know how sometimes you watch someone on TV and say “if I would have put a little more time and effort to that, just maybe I would be on TV doing those athletic feats.”  Well, as I watched the trampoline event, I did NOT have that feeling at all.  They were up crazy high doing all kinds of fancy stuff.  If you care, because I feel like now I am an expert on the sport, the Canadians knocked off the powerhouse Chinese.  That would be an upset.

2a)  Was this sport designed for chicks who grew too tall for gymnastics?

3)  No.  I did NOT set my alarm on a Saturday for the Sharapova/ Williams tennis final, and I probably won’t for tomorrow’s Murray/ Federer match.  It is the Olympics.  It feels weird as I said the other day.  I would rather watch trampoline jumping or synchronized swimming.  Anyway, Serena won against Sharapova.  Yay, USA.  What was awesome about the match was the medal ceremony.  You see, it was really windy.  When the Star Spangled Banner was playing, and they got to the part “our flag was still there,” the wind had actually already blown the USA’s flag away.  Kind of funny.

4)  I thought it was very cool that the South African runner who is a double amputee made the semi’s for the men’s 400m.  Very cool.  I have heard the arguments of people saying he might get extra bounce in each step with that technology.  I have thought about this.  I don’t care about the extra bounce if it exists.  He still had to bust his butt to get there and it is a heck of an accomplishment…and makes me think I complain too much and am very lazy.

4a)  It was a shame watching USA’s LaShawn Merrit pull up with a bad hammy in his 400 heat.  He had a great chance for the gold, and it must hurt a lot to give that much time in training and then have to be a no show.

5)  Ok.  I am 0-1 on the basketball declaration, BUT Lithuania made it close at least.  That is ok.  The Fillerbuster is going to tell you that he actually thought that Argentina had the better shot anyway.  I actually did.  That being said, I would feel more confident if the Americans had won by a lot more than 5 against Lithuania.  Now, they have already HAD their wake up call.  Opportunity knocked, and Lithuania was in the tub.

6)  The US has ONE boxer left.  I get why we suck at soccer.  I get why our curling team is weak.  But boxing?  It is a consistent trend I don’t get in this country. With the amount of testosterone going on in US schools, I am amazed more kids aren’t boxing.

7)  Quietly, Usain Bolt is in the semis of the 100m.  I will root for the USA, but I sure as heck want Bolt healthy if they DO win.

7a)  Shelly-Ann-Fraser, also from Jamaica, won the 100m.  I need to go back in history in my almanac, because I want to ask this question.  Did Jamaica just suddenly get really fast in the last 15 years??  What the hell are they doing on that island?

8)  UCONN coach Jim Calhoun fractured his hip in a bike accident.  Wow. I feel like we should make a parody of Devil Went Down to Georgia, because ever since holding that championship trophy a year and a half ago, things have gone just about as south for that guy as they can go (the joke is about selling your soul to the devil, and I like that song, and therefore thought it fit right in with this particular hook).

9)  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  I SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.  NOW, I am slowly seeing the motive.  It appears that Montee Ball, attacked by 5 guys the other night “randomly,” was “present” at a fight earlier in the night.  If you read this regularly, I have been doubting the intelligence of even FIFTEEN guys attacking that huge mammoth.  Now, I am starting to see their motivation.  This story will only get better.

10)  In case you care, my social experiment lives on.  That yellow flyer has been on my passenger side window for 17 days now.  If I make a month, I might even pull over during rain so I don’t have to remove it for the wipers.  It has to irritate SOMEONE who sees my car on a regular basis.

11)  You might see it as a footnote, but I am telling you it is VERY important.  In Olympic basketball, Russia beat Spain.  Why is this important?  The winner of that game GUARANTEED they will be on the other side of the draw as the Americans when we go to single elimination.

12)  Jets Nick Mangold suddennly left camp and went to London to watch his sister compete in the Olympics.  You might think teammates persuaded him.  Maybe his family ties took over.  No, the Fillerbuster thinks that she threatened to whip him if he didn’t come.  She is a weightlifter.

13)  HAHAHAHAHAHA….Fresh off of hearing comments about her son being only interested in one night stands, Ryan Lochte’s mom is now facing foreclosure on her home in Florida.  I just think it is funny.  It is my blog.  Write your own blog if you don’t find that funny.  Moving on.

14)  So, I am over here worrying about Josh Hamilton going on a drinking binge and he admits to being addicted to smokeless tobacco.  Dude, is there anything else we need to know?  Any other skeletons you would like to announce to the media.

14a)  It is a HOOK.  I LOVE the guy.  My regular readers know that I think his story is AWESOME.  I am a fan.

15)  I am not saying that people’s tastes don’t change.  I am not saying I don’t understand about corporate stuff.  But, is it weird to anyone else that they put Gabby Douglas’s picture on the CORN FLAKES box?  It just doesn’t seem right.  It HAS to be Wheaties for the rest of eternity.

16)  Shows you what I know.  EIther that or the situation on campus is worse than I thought.  FIFTH year QB Rob Bolden reported to LSU camp this week.  I thought he would stay since LSU already has a QB, he was already named starter of Penn State, he is fifth year, and it would eliminate any transition time.  Whatever.

17)  Great.  I randomly do a Diver Down tribute in my blog, and I hear that Van Halen has quit their tour.  Apparently, David Lee Roth has also released a 2.5 hour video of him dancing and singing on the internet also.  I haven’t looked yet.  Anyway, no offense dude, but I saw your show, and your vocals are on their last legs.

18)  In case you EVER worry about either your general sanity OR any betting problems you might have, the Fillerbuster is happy to report that FIFTY people in London took the 1000-1 bet that a UFO would appear over the stadium during opening ceremonies.  That makes my old betting problems back in the day seem like a walk in the park.

19)  I didn’t look up how she is doing, but here you go for a tidbit.  There is a Malaysian Olympic shooter that is 8 months pregnant.  I am not lying about this.  They say that when she is shooting, she tells her child to stop moving for a few seconds.

20)  THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!  If I am looking for future Rant Squad members, this guy is an early hopeful.  Uchenna Nwabuike, a LB at SMU, reported that he had $3000 stolen from him.  When questioned, he told the police that his first suspect would be the PROSTITUTE that he didn’t pay and who he left alone in his apartment for a time.  That is so silly that it is fantastic.

21)  There was a poll on who was the most eccentric player in the MLB.  I was surprised not only by the winner, but the margin of victory of player voting.  Nyjer Morgan beat Brian Wilson 19-12%.  That is a demolition against an obviously qualified opponent in this realm.

22)  (chuckling)  That song I linked in my blog is on.  I am playing a CD my girl made for me, and Red Solo Cup is on.  Classic.  And don’t laugh, I like the fact that she makes CD’s for me.

23)  There were 4,371 people at the first Peyton Manning practice in Englewood, CO.  That is the most amount of people to ever attend any non stadium practice in Denver.

24)  Does anyone else find it odd that Olympic volleyball only has the game to 15 points in the final one, whereas tennis goes from best of 3 sets to best of 5 sets?  Let’s get aligned, people.

25)  The US made the gold medal game in water polo at the last Olympics, but I watched the match/ game/ whatever against Serbia this morning, and they pretty much were never even close to being in control of that match.  They got worked.

26)  In men’s volleyball, top ranked Russia’s achilles is Brazil.  The US’s achilles is Russia.  AND, they proved it again today.  They were up two sets, and then just got USED in losing the next three sets.  Come on, guys.  Go listen to Temple of the Dog and get ready to play Hungary (like I said, if you don’t find that hilarious, go write your own blog)

26a)  When I need food over the last ten years, I don’t even say that I am “hungry.”  I say that I am “temple of the dog.”  For your listening pleasure…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUb450Alpps

26a)  In case you care, the average height of the Russian volleyball squad is more than the same for the US basketball team (of course, we could interject that we didn’t bring more than one true center into this discussion).

27)  EDITOR’S NOTE:  I would like to apologize to the men’s beach volleyball team.  They lost, but are not officially eliminating.  That is what I get for reading something off of Fox Sports and trusting it.

28)  There is another me running around Denver.  I went grocery shopping today.  I am a simple eater, and buy the same things EVERY trip…for about the last ten years.  Anyway, the other me snagged all my stuff.  I had to second option everything down to foot spray.  Dude, don’t be setting your alarm clock on the weekends.

28a)  It went along with my day at the gym.  There were literally FIVE people in the gym, and a hundred machines, and I had to take second option on a piece of equipment at least 6 times.

29)  A song is following me around and making me hum it.  It is extremely irritating. A fast dance song.  Something about turning off the lights.  Then, someone in the song sings they want the lights ON.  Geez.  Make up your freaking mind and get out of my head.

29a)  Well, I guess than that they achieved a successful “hook” (that was SO much an accidental hook into a hook about a hook…I SWEAR…well, now that I am already writing about it, I guess I should finish the damn thing).  The hook is that catchy part of the song that makes us hum it subconsciously hearing the song.  Here.  This is the best explanation/ visual/ audio explanation of a hook.  This is the only video of the scene I found, so you might have to crank the volume.  http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2934e_hustle-and-flow-hard-out-here-for-a_music

29b)  By the way, don’t forget Terence Howard was nominated for an Oscar for Best Actor for that dope film-Hustle n Flow.

29c)  The final product after they mix that chick’s voice from the original link I gave you.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cr0nP3k_p4

30)  Do NOT doubt me that they changed the release date for the Bourne movie.  I had written in my calendar two month ago that it was August 3rd after watching a preview, and I would NOT mess up with a Bourne movie.  I just saw a commercial where it is the 10th.  Liars.  Don’t they KNOW there is ONE person out here literally salivating to see this movie???

31)  I watched the four person men’s rowing race today in the Olympics.  The Brits look like a machine, the Aussie’s look like badasses who could also drink us all under the table, and the Americans looked like skinny kids who went to Harvard.  Can’t we talk FOUR other sport USA athletes to try the sport for a year or two?  Make them watch Herschel Walker’s bobsledding videos to rev them up.  Good job on the bronze though, guys.

32)  Why are insurance commercials (except for Geico) the best commercials outside of beer commercials?  I just saw the Liberty Mutual one today where they play the cheesy eighties song in the background and have people with roof mounted bike racks pulling into garages.  It was hilarious.

33)  That is it.  I am taking off tomorrow.  Lindsey is back from camping, I am going to church as usual, my buddy is flying in from Cali, and then prepping for work.  Oh, that’s right.  Our airport is 1000 miles from downtown Denver, so my buddy will be getting to the hotel too late to hang.  I MIGHT rip a quick rant out if something goes down in the sports world to warrant blogging, but otherwise look for one Monday.  Will I blog Monday?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

33a)  FUN’s first song got a lot of hype, but their second release is much better.  I only know them because I kind of liked their first one and looked them up, Lindsey LOVES them, and because I believe they are from Denver.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQkBeOisNM0

33b)  Mr. Gramp, here is a shout out.  You were one of my favorite teachers, and I was pumped to know you read my blog.

33c)  I don’t know what “tags” are, what “categories” are, and how to use links to build my blog, so feel free to give input on the following paragraph that was sent to me that I have NO idea of what it is saying.  I assume this foreign language is help on getting blog traffic.

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