Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Adjusting to east coast time, and full tradeshow day tomorrow. I am tired. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations. I am tired. Let’s blaze through this list. Probably will be taking off tomorrow and saving it for a huge Baltimore to Denver airplane rant on Thursday night. Let’s do this. First hook. The Steelers are 0-2 since 2002. I suppose I AM kind of spoiled over the years..
2) Pittsburgh looked horrible. Anyone else notice that ever since Ben has suddenly literally aged like Roy Jones in the ring in his last few fights back in the day, they just stink.
3) Or their O-Line is legendary among being bad. Read ESPN for the stats. I am here for random banter.
4) I haven’t forgot about you, baseball. I PROMISE to break down my end of year playoff teams AND the awards in the Thursday night airplane rant. Tune in.
5) I think I will wait to order “the red zone” until they work out the kinks.
6) Ben and I tried to find a dive bar. What we found was a surprisingly good BBQ bar in downtown Baltimore. I also guess that if they have a website, they aren’t a true dive. http://midtownbbqandbrew.com/ Get the bacon marmalade sauce.
7) I firmly believe that if you are in a town that you don’t know, just find a bar called something with an adjective or adverb and an animal. We went to the Stalking Horse. Awesome place to hear sound on that painful game last night.
8) Ben, you are not reading my blog enough, even though we talk about 90% of the things I cover in this thing when we are hanging together.
9) I think it is adorable that Sherman is trading barbs with Harbaugh and that Willis says the other team hits like rams, but don’t FORCE this rivalry on me. Just because Oakland sucks beyond all belief, I still would like for this 49ers-Seahawks rivalry BLOSSOM. Just let it happen. Like true love.
10) When did the pomegranate Mio commercial come back? LOVE it. Let’s bring back that commercial about Michael Jordan playing on street courts or “I’m Batman” back right now.
11) Hey, Kyle. That is a “super fruit.”
11a) I wish I had time to explain how utterly hilarious hook #11 actually is.
12) Hey, Sheraton. First of all, who has open walk in showers, and where did your water pressure go? I feel like I should bust out some Bee Gees while taking a shower to truly experience the 1970’s again.
13) The Navy shooting still blows me away. Selling to government and being ex-military, it is scary that the guy had clearance to get on base. Crazy stuff. Glad I was coming to Baltimore this week as opposed to DC, and thoughts and prayers to the deceased and their families. That would be the farthest thing from sarcastic, though I know that 99% of this thing is.
14) Does Zach Johnson just lose enough to not get TV sponsors but JUST win enough to pay his bills?
15) I didn’t read the article. I was hoping he was already in Russia. BUT, apparently there was a rally in Jacksonville wanting Tim Tebow to sign. Quick. Everyone wiki “desperation.” Now control F “Chris Leak.” Just do it.
15a) I haven’t done it, but hopefully you know where the joke was going.
16) The Pac 12 reprimanded their refs for the “odd” finish in the Wisconsin-ASU game. I hear they are rejoicing in Madison as we speak. What exactly are you doing when you reprimand a ref?
17) Bo Pelini says that Nebraska fans will forgive him for his rant. First of all, Bo, they will not. You are what I like to call a “Dolly Parton minus 1.” I just made that up. The joke is that you go 9-4 (joke is 9-5) every season at a school that is accustomed to competing for actual titles. Bo is hoping for the football version of Groundhog Day. What a great movie that was.
18) Breaking news. CJ Ross is stepping down indefinitely as a boxing judge. Breaking news. That fight was not a tie.
19) By the way, you have NO idea how hard it was in finding a picture of Marky Mark from the late 80’s/ early 90’s WITH his shirt on. YOU try it. I think I found one in the 5th row. Tough work, people.
20) John, you treated Ben and I well last night during the football game. Still confused how a NY fan wears an Orioles cap, but Ben and I truly appreciated the hospitality.
21) Ben and I were at what myself and John (above) the “epicenter” of the Ravens celebration last night. There was no one there last night, but I felt special regardless.
22) Michael Vick says that he will never forget how Andy Reid helped him. I would like to nominate Michael Vick for an Oscar this year. I think we should come out with a movie called “Michael Vick and me.”
23) That is funny because of the movie “Marley and Me.”
24) THAT is funny because Michael Vick killed dogs…nevermind.
25) Ben reads Sports Illustrated. I read ESPN Mag. I do it out of lack of options, as I still miss the mid 2000’s version of Sporting News. Best sports mag EVER.
26) Great. Stephen Jackson is OUT this week? I guess we are about to find out how smart I am in drafting Jacquizz Rodgers. I didn’t draft him JUST because he is Jackson’s backup. I drafted him because I wanted either Reggie Bush, Tavon Austin, or Rodgers on my bench. Sproles would have been my fourth option of “dangerous” players.
27) I have noticed that people LOVE when I post pictures. There will be none this rant, but it is noted.
28) I am at a tradeshow tomorrow from 10-5. I got 37 emails from 430pm-6pm TONIGHT. I can’t WAIT to see how long it takes me to clear tomorrow’s log. I will wake up at 530 and email people on Eastern time before they have a chance to answer me. Yeah. Take THAT and rewind it back.
29) Garcon thinks that RGIII might be slowed by a knee brace. Wow. They are splitting the atom in DC saying that a brace MIGHT be slowing someone down.
30) My best friend’s pops had a stroke. My man. THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS for your dad. What a fantastic guy, and I am still jealous about him being mentioned in a Red Auerbach autobiography. Glad he is doing better, Scott, and your family is awesome. Take care of your old man, old man.
31) He has me by a year. He is old.
32) When in another city for a week, go SHOPPING. I can eat about 30 turkey sandwiches a day if needed, and I probably saved about $200 already given my Usain Bolt metabolism.
33) Seriously, that Mio commercial was popular about three years ago and I have just seen it three times writing this.
34) Ben got me thinking. If boneless wings TASTE the same, and my fingers don’t get all nasty, then why doesn’t EVERYONE eat boneless wings?
35) Ben is pretty cool for a Browns fan. Actually, I assume ALL Cleveland Browns fans have to be cool. They have gone through hell for the last couple decades.
36) Did the Rangers lose AGAIN?
37) I needed 4.5 points from the Steelers defense going into Monday to win in fantasy. I lost.
38) The NCAA will hold firm on NOT paying college athletes. I support this. Sorry that guys like Clowney are broke, but soon the equestrian players will want something too. Slippery slope.
39) Hey, Ross. Any inside info on that Oklahoma State situation, speaking of the school and equestrian?
40) That is it. Going to bed. It is 11. That is LATE for me. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
41) Just a tagline. Might not blog tomorrow. Busy day. By the way, Ben, when you hang out with me, you end up in my blog, especially when we had the conversations we had in the last 24-36 hours, which CAN’T be blogged about.