Wayne Brady is gangsta.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

No time limit.  I haven’t blogged since Thursday, I don’t even know where these thoughts went before I became a blogger, and I have a lot to say tonight.

(say this with an accent and it will rhyme)  I feel the want…the want to rant.

1)  Justin Verlander has gone 62 straight games pitching at least 6 innings.  Sure, there aren’t too many magical seasons that come around in pitching on a regular basis, but if I am a manager, I am very comfortable handing the ball to him every game.  Dude throws triple digits in the 8th inning consistently, AND goes out with a quality start every time.  He is chasing Steve Carlton’s run of 69 games.  Carlton has Philly roots.  Get 68 and stop, Justin.  Feel free to start another one.  Give my boy some records.  You will get plenty.

2)  Is there a freaking CONTRACT that the media has with Tim Tebow to make sure he gets in the paper every day?  I live 2000 miles away and I hear more Tebow news than Manning news.  Geez.  Anyway, in case you care.  A reporter approached Mark Sanchez and called him Tim.  It was actually kind of funny.  Today, Dustin Pedroia was reported to having Tebow’s picture in his locker, but with Dustin’s face in the picture of Tebow shirtless running in the rain.  I think Jerry Seinfeld said it best.  “Not that there is anything wrong with it.”  As far as the story, even the ESPN guy made fun of the amount of Tebow stories and the fact that he was reporting it.

3)  Not that the Fillerbuster was splitting the atom when he proclaimed it over a week ago, but Penn State’s Silas Redd does indeed transfer to USC.  It makes sense, although you know Penn State’s fans are mad.  In Cali, the rich get richer, and it is unbelievable to me how smoothly they made it through their penalty years, the amount of players who still went there AND stayed in school, and how scary they are becoming.  As I have said before, you can dislike Lane Kiffin (I personally do…a LOT), but you can NOT discard his recruiting skills.

3a)  A Penn State LB complained about the transfer rules that might allow other teammates to leave.  Dude, adopt this phrase in cases like this.  It is what it is.  Also, adopt this phrase.  Make sure your coaches don’t sexually abuse small boys.

4)  Justin Bieber tweeted about Missy Franklin, and Missy tweeted “him back.”  I am confused.  So, if you tweet, you get followers, and then you say something in 140 characters or less.  If someone tweets “you back,” do they have to be a follower of YOURS to get the response?  How are people tweeting other people?  I thought it went to the masses.  I am confused and really, really need a flowchart.  I am serious.  I need an architecture slide.

5)  I can’t BELIEVE that Michael Phelps lost his money event today, the 200 fly.  I don’t care if he was touched out because he misjudged the wall and coasted in.  I would think he would be further ahead than that.  It is his go to event.  I thought there would be some slippage because of burning out and the past his swimming prime thing, but I would have bet my car on him winning the 200 fly.  Amazing.  AND, he lost to a kid who Phelps is his idol.  Guess you can cross THAT off your bucket list, South African guy.

6)  Dream Team my a%^.  The men’s Olympic basketball team only beat Tunisia by 47 points today.  You were favored by 55 points, slackers.  On a serious note, you have Lithuania and Argentina coming up shortly.  I feel an upset in the works.  No, I am NOT being unpatriotic.  I would rather have them lose now, to stop the Dream Team talk AND to still have them in the hunt for a gold.

7)  I am SPEECHLESS that I have absolutely NOTHING to say about Dwight Howard, even with having not blogged since last Thursday.  Damn.  I fell for it AGAIN.  The fact that I mentioned him IS talking about him.

8)  Adrian Peterson is ahead of schedule in his comeback from injury.  WAY ahead of schedule.  Well, of course teams worry about running back injuries, but if we have seen a workout warrior in the last ten years, it IS that very, very bad man.

9)  If you asked me 10 years ago if I would date a girl who a) did not like my hat being worn backwards and b) did not like my soul patch, I would have laughed you out of the room.  I suppose it is some combination of whole lot of liking and a very slow maturity rate that might just be kicking in finally.

10)  I ADMIT it.  I LAUGHED when AJ Burnett accepted the gig with the Pirates.  I was wrong.  Not only are the Pirates having a great season, but so is Burnett.  I admit fault in the fact that he just SEEMS like a locker room cancer.  Remember, the most we know is 40%.  Congrats on your season so far, AJ.

11)  Someone tell Sandusky’s wife that he was found guilty with a lot of counts in a court of law for crimes we cringe about thinking about, AND that the university probe ALSO found negligence.  You can stop telling us that you defend your hubby, wife.  We don’t want to hear it.

12)  HUGE pickup.  The Texas Rangers get Ryan Dempster.  I love it.  Ummm.  Well, I guess since this is the first year it looks like the Phils will be sitting home during the playoffs, I guess I am picking subconsciously who I will be rooting for when that time comes.

12a) I was calling it the Dempster/ Greinke deadline instead of “trade.”  So, I guess I should mention where Greinke went.  The Angels snagged him.  That is also huge.  Does anyone else find it odd that the two biggest pickups were in the SAME division?  It will be one hell of a race for that division win.

12b)  Does this mean that Roy Oswalt is now in the bullpen?

13)  Jonathan Vilma is still fighting the bounty verdict, and my level of caring of his situation is on the level of hearing a Coldplay song.

14)  Neil Reed died this week.  If you don’t remember him, just know that he is the reason why Bob Knight was oddly coaching Texas Tech.  What’s that?  Yes, Texas Tech DOES have a basketball program.  I am a fan of the coach, choking or not.  He BLED bball.  That being said, I succinctly remember at least 2 years when I picked Texas Tech too far in my brackets and it crashed me.

15)  Sad to see an Iona recruit got shot and died.  I hate to see anyone get shot and killed, but I hate when I see it happen to someone who might have been on their way to a promising life.

16)  Steve Spurrier started a high end football program in the hotbed of football in the USA. It doesn’t really matter who coaches them now.  They get recruits.  If you care, UF just landed the #4 recruit in the land this weekend.

17)  I admit it.  I didn’t have time to open the article, but it IS pretty damn cool.  “Legally blind archer sets record at games.”  Next time you get a paper cut or get in a long grocery line, let’s keep in mind what heroes are doing with their dreams.

18)  Showing once again how not hip I am, I hear the swim team did a remake of the Call Me Maybe video.  I read the article.  I still don’t get the joke.

19)  Last time I checked, Ben Sheets was 3-0.  I still find it hard to believe how NO one wanted him after injuries and being out of the league for a while…with the talent and arm he displayed he showed when he was IN it.

20)  I like when ESPN anchors mention “buzzing the tower.”  I find it extremely funny with my foundation love of the movie Top Gun.

21)  Plaxico Burress, Jeremy Shockey, Cedric Benson, and T.O. don’t surprise me, but I find it hard to believe that Ryan Grant is still unclaimed in free agency.

22)  I have lived in CO for 15 years, and haven’t heard of it OR talked to ANYONE who knew about it.  Lindsey found it.  She found a non-pansy amusement park…built on a mountain.  You can either take a nervous bus ride up or a tram up the mountain.  You then wait in lines that are 1500 ft above the valley…right ABOVE the valley.  You then have your choice of bungee jumping, a killer alpine slide that lets you control how idiotically fast you go, a pendulum that lets you look directly down 1500 feet to the Colorado River, a roller coaster that is the highest roller coaster above sea level in North America, etc.  etc.  etc.  AMAZING place.  There are no Tilt-a-Whirls at Adventure Park in Glenwood Springs.  GO there.

23)  Steve Smith might be known over the years as “difficult,” but dibs to him for donating 100k to the CO victims in the Batman/ Aurora tragedy.

24)  You might think QB Ryan Tannehill didn’t show up to training camp for contract reasons.  I still think he just wanted to spend more time with his smoking hot wife.

25)  They figured out Falcons S Ray Easterling had degenerative brain problems stemming from concussions.  Break out all the slippery slope/ pandora box cliches that you want at this point.

26)  Does anyone else outside of Cleveland or Pittsburgh feel weird that the Browns might be sold to a minority Steelers owner?  It just isn’t right.

27)  Gymnast Shawn Johnson will be on Dancing with the Stars aka DWTS, so I hear.  I am just proud to know that I finally know I wish HER luck.

28)  They are wagering on the weather in London.  Damn, I sometimes wish I wasn’t retired from betting.  I was a ringer for the late afternoon thunderstorm.

29)  On my way to the mountains, I saw TWO runaway truck ramps with a severe curve on the ramp.  So, you slow down, but then your truck tips over back onto the road.  Sounds like a plan.  Solid.

30)  I found this story funny.  Grant Hill said that the ’96 Olympic team members TRIED not to be the leading scorer each game and would pass more because the leading scorer got drug tested.  I am not surprised about the declaration.  I am surprised WHO is bringing the story to the media.  Dude is like the 15 year older version of Tim Tebow.  He could have filled in for Wayne Brady on that Chappelle show skit.

31)  Did you all notice that there is a new commercial which gives scenes, says the name, and spotlights the OTHER guy in The Watch?  I am glad that I wasn’t the only one confused.  The masses have spoken.

32)  I love hearing (I actually do- I wish I was joking) about athletes who didn’t make it who get busted by the law.  Colt Brennan aka once the leading passer of all time in college football, got busted for a DUI the other day a month after getting cut from the CFL.  Life treating you good, bro?  Didn’t make enough money to do that rent a driver thing I always suggest?

33)  It is confusing watching women’s beach volleyball now that May-Walsh are now married.  They have this hyphenated thing going on that makes the score seem like you need a bigger TV screen.

34)  Congrats to the women’s gymnastics team for snagging the gold in the team competition.  I haven’t seen the highlights yet, but who is going to be Mary Lou Retton, who has the cute hurt leg like Kerry Shrug, and does Wheaties even put athletes on the cereal box fronts anymore?

35)  The Phillies are officially sellers and it depresses me.  Shane Victorino AND Hunter Pence were former All-Stars.  The Phils got rid of both today.  At least they held onto Cliff Lee.  Otherwise, I would think they have a strategy that we need to flowchart.  We are already using the flowchart for the other hook.

36)  In case anyone cares, there was a little blurb floating around about the Yankees Joba Chamberlain returning.  ARod healthy or not, they already HAVE the bats even on the bench.  They need the arms to scare people.

37)  Jerry Jones says he is “not ready” to talk to Dez Bryant yet about his recent trouble.  Jerry, you are just like Elaine from Seinfeld.  You SAYING you are not ready to talk to the media is like her going down to Jake Jarmel to tell him she didn’t say hi.  Stop talking about it, and go buy some glasses from Malaysia.

38)  We hear about all these bad things people do in criminal activities.  I personally am surprised that with all the bad people that are out there, that there aren’t more incidents where people are pouring crazy chemicals in washer detergent entry spots and car gas caps.  Just talking here.

39)  Jacque Vaughn just got the head coaching gig in Orlando.  I think it is a good hire.  I am glad that Dwight is tall enough to not NEED to learn how to shoot, I am glad they have JJ Redick who can already shoot, and I assume there will be no 3 point contests to go to the showers early.  Good leader, a winner, and a very bad shooter.

40)  I guarantee a victory.  Since tennis player Andy Roddick can’t seem to win another slam event, and since no one really cares about tennis in the Olympics, it says here he wins the men’s championship.

41)  I love chess.  One of the greatest days of my childhood was tying my dad one game.  I knew I had arrived, and all the dumby strategies were now useless.  The only reason I can stay on the stationary bike so long at the gym is because they have chess as a video game to pass the time.  I have even played the game during SEINFELD at the gym.  That is crazy.  Anyway, Lindsey and I stayed at a hotel where they had outdoor chess that had 1.5 foot pieces.  It was extremely fun.  By the way, if you are in Vail, check out a show at the Vail Gerald Ford Amphitheater.  We saw her dad sing with the NY Philharmonic, and it is a great small venue to check out a show.

42)  One of my official hobbies is reading NBA transactions.  I LOVE reading about guys who left school too early and are now bouncing around.

43)  Usain Bolt has a hurt back.  Usain Bolt has a new shoe.  Usain’s new shoe is called the Spine.  Really?  Do you really NEED a joke here?

44)  I love America, but am secretly glad that Ryan Lochte is having a bad Olympics.  The flips side to that comment is that it sucks that Phelps is ALSO having a bad Olympics.

45)  If they stop Stephen Strasburg from pitching into September, I think I might fly to DC and cause havoc.  There is NO WAY they shut him down in first place.

46)  Lindsey and I stayed at a Holiday In  Express.  If I sound smarter while writing this blog, could you let me know?  I don’t think the commercials were accurate.

46a)  I have decided that staying at a hotel without automatic front doors is kind of proof that you are going ghetto style…especially when you are in ritzy Glenwood Springs.

47)  Andre Johnson has a bad groin.  Yay.  Usually he does this AFTER 50 million people draft him in the first or second round of fantasy.  Thanks for letting us know it will be one of those years, and I have Tracy McGrady’s number if you want someone to have a beer with.

48)  Revis is sitting out because of his hammy and NOT his contract.  Sure.  And I don’t add up license plate numbers on the road to see if they add up to the number 11.  Yup.

49)  The Padres just gave Huston Street a two year extension.  That is good.  They just saved all of the Fillerbusters bad jokes about him getting put off the…you get the idea.

50)  Amazing.  Hansen and Kitajima went head to head in the breaststroke in a semi-final. The top SIX made the final.  What a semi-final.  Bet you the guy who got third in the other heat was already having beers.

51)  Am I the only one who gets in stop and go traffic and HAS to see an accident/ a cop/ rocks on the road to fully make my brain WHY there was stop and go in the first place?

52)  Sad Story about Titans OJ Murdock.  You might complain about your high school life, but the dude is an NFL player, well paid, and still chose his high school as the place he would sit outside on the road and blow himself away in.  Sad.  Sad.  Sad.

53)  If you drive down route 70 in CO and want to get live updates on viewing sheep on the mountains during your ride, tune to 540am.  It was on a sign.  Love it.

54)  Hope Solo.  Shut the f%^& up (sorry, mom).  Reneg your Twitter account.  Take a step back.  You are good, but busting on Brandi Chastain is not the way to go.  Bark up another tree and focus on the task at hand.

56)  There are a lot of countries out there.  Romania doesn’t complain.  Russia doesn’t complain.  That chick (Wieber?) who was crying for not making the individual part of the competition was dumb.  Get over it and support your teammates.  Kerry Shrug crying-cool.  You-not.  It is what it is, and it is a rule.  The top two people from each country can make the individuals.

57)  PSU plants trees where the Paterno statue used to be.  The Fillerbuster is still working on a joke for this.  It will come.  I promise.

58)  The Sens Alfredsson is coming back for a 17th season.  At some point, he is hoping that they will actually play up to their talent.  Dude, just do what everyone else does.  Jump on the Pens or some other good team for a discounted price, and just roll with it.

59)  That is it.  Sorry.  Had a lot to say.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Hope you enjoyed.  Peace.

%d bloggers like this: