Wait. You are giving me the WHOLE can of Coke Zero??

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

I lied about taking Thursday off.  I have a three hour flight, and noticed that my legal pad paper is fuller than expected, so thought I would bust one out.

1)       The Memphis Grizzlies are a dangerous basketball team.  When they made their NBA playoff run a couple years ago, they were young guys playing with a talented head case.  Now, those young guys are a little older and wiser, and they still have the talented head case.  Count on Zach Randolph for his usual 22 and 10, and let the rest of the team do their thing.  They have won six in a row (although I don’t know if they will lose before I am off this plane), and the last one was against the OKC Thunder…at OKC’s crib.

2)      Flow chart.  So, former Seahawks TE Jerramy Stevens gets arrested for using his hands illegally (I crack myself up) on soccer player Hope Solo.  They have an arraignment, he gets freed, and Tuesday night they got married??  Hey, Hope.  Retire from US soccer.  Go straight to a reality show.  ANY one.  Make up your own.  Team up with Chad Johnson on one.  You are an idiot.

3)      We should know about Shabazz Muhammad’s appeal on Friday.  He is the UCLA super recruit who was ruled ineligible recently for an undisclosed amount of time.  Apparently, three of his official school visits were paid for.  I am amazed anyone can even understand all of the NCAA rules, and I know it is a necessary evil if you will.  But, it doesn’t sound bad to me, and I am a basketball junkie.  I don’t care about UCLA.  I just want to see the best HS player in the land last year play a game.

4)      The Clippers beat the Heat last night.  The Heat might blow it off as an inconsequential regular season game, but I guess if that is how they are playing it, then LeBron is focusing on another title before he worries about any regular season team records.  Wow, that 72-10 record must have been tough to pull off back in the day with MJ and the boys.

5)      THERE you are, silly.  I was just wondering where the hell Josh Howard went to.  The Wolves, knee deep in injuries to all star players, have picked up Mr. Howard.

6)      I heard something about the Redskins tabbing RGIII as their team captain.  Damn.  I lost a bet with a friend.  I felt SURE that DeAngelo Hall would be the captain.

7)      Hall ended up getting fined 30k for his own rant on a ref.  Not the brightest bulb on the tree is he.

8)      They “found” A&M WR Thomas Johnson.  He was located “unhurt.” I hear he might have gone back to his high school on a road trip.  Actually, I am saving jokes on this, as I can’t find out more right now with no internet.  There is the information, and wait until another rant for jokes.  Johnny Manziel is happy that he is not lacking a receiver though, and he hopes he can find TJ unhurt several times before the end of the season on the field.

9)      Rex Ryan rips his players busting on Tebow, singling out the anonymous ones as cowards.  Shonn Greene then speaks vaguely and says the Jets need “a change.”  All I know is this.  Aside from obvious off the field problems that we could envision, every time I try to make this drama better, I realize that the Jets pretty much have everything covered.  Good job at creating a circus.  Bravo.

10)   Yay.  I forgot I was on US Airways, which has larger drink cups.  You go, US Airways.  Thanks for also getting WAY too big of plane for the needs of us travelers to Denver on this one.  Hurry up, stewardess.  These Pizza Pretzel Combos are making me thirsty.  The Combos don’t flow off the tongue like “pretzels.”

11)   I AGREE with you, Magic Johnson.  Phil was the better choice.  I also agree that you are an analyst, and that is your job.  I also agree that you are Lakers’ legend, so it gives you an allowance to say a little more on subjects related to them.  I would just hedge off a bit though.  You own the Dodgers, not the Lakers, and I would watch running TOO much of a gauntlet between you and their ownership…at least publically.

12)   Jon Bon Jovi has been touring for a LONG time.  If you ever wondered if he ever regrets not getting more time with his kid(s), today is one of those days.  His 19 year old daughter was arrested yesterday for drug possession, after being suspected of OD’ing on heroin.  HEROIN?  She is not messing around…

13)   Maybe this Mayan thing WILL happen.  The Charlotte Bobcats have won three in a row and are above .500.  Hey, MJ, it looks like that whole “I am going to back off, be less hands on, and let people do their job” thing is WORKING…so far.  I bet you he gets plenty more golf time with this approach too.

14)   Have you SEEN 76ers C Andrew Bynum’s new haircut?  Fantastic.  I would give you the link, but I have no access.  Just google “bynum stooges hairdo.”  He must have a lot of free time and ideas with that injury he has.  Start a blog, Andrew.  It is fun.

15)   Fancy.  The airline must have a certain amount of soft drinks they have to go through, because not only did she have Coke Zero, but she gave me the whole can.

16)   For you non watching college basketball people who just pick the big names at bracket time, here are a few non mainstream ones that might make you hate your bracket down the line.  Creighton, UNLV, Murray St., St. Louis, Detroit…. Jot them down.  Trust me.

17)   There is a great article in the Thursday edition of USA Today about how Brooklyn’s Reggie Evans is pushing Brook Lopez every day in practice.  He is holding him, grabbing him, and talking trash.  They even asked Reggie about it, and he wants All Star status…for Brook, and not him.  That SOUNDS like Reggie Evans.  Reggie was a star college baller until going to the Association and his body made him a tweener who just had to settle for being the hardest working guy on the team.  Love that guy, and so does every coach who has had him.  Reason for hoping Brook getting better than he already is?  If Brook makes the next level (he is averaging 17 a game, but needs to be more of a presence defensively also), then Brooklyn becomes VERY dangerous in the Eastern Conference with Deron Williams and Joe Johnson.

18)   I am pretty sure that if something at a restaurant has “chipotle” in its name, my eyes immediately find it.  Over the last year or two, I have become addicted to chipotle.  I don’t even know what it is.  It is just great tasting dipping stuff/ sauce to me.  Subs, burgers, fries, whatever…”I would like a _________ with a side of chipotle sauce.”

19)   Skins coach Mike Shanahan is saying he had money stolen from his wallet on the road game at Pittsburgh.  And he is just figuring this out NOW?  It has been almost two weeks, Mike.  It must be nice to not notice you are missing money.  Point is this.  Think this one through.  Don’t be like Jerry Seinfeld’s dad and think the top back doctor on the east coast stole your wallet…when it was just home under a couch pillow.

20)   I picked my place to eat dinner last night and walked in.  I knew I had chosen the perfect place randomly when I heard Van Halen in the background, a Corona drink special was going on, and chipotle was in their kitchen.  The following bands after that Van Halen song were Def Leppard, Scorpions, and Def Leppard.  Oh, and then more Van Halen.  I SWEAR I didn’t go near the jukebox.  I was too busy laughing at the tough sounding guys in suits ordering rounds of Stoli Blueberry drinks and shots.  Too funny, gentlemen.

21)   Wisconsin basketball might get close to winning it all a lot, but they are ALWAYS good for keeping it close against whatever level of high competition.  They are ranked their usual top 25 this year, but got SMOKED by Florida last night.  I watched some of it.  I might tend to believe that Florida might be a little better than we are thinking they are.  If Erik Murphy plays like that for a season, and their interior guys mature fast, they will be hard to handle.

22)   Houston Rockets PG Jeremy Lin is only averaging 11.9 pts thus far.  Let’s not pull a Jim Buss-Mike Brown, and jump off a bridge yet.  It is VERY early in the season.  I think he will be fine.

23)   During this whole firesale that is going on with the Miami Marlins, did anyone notice THIS?  Owner Jeffrey Loria builds a new stadium, brings in all of these stars, and then gives them away.  $120 million or so more in his pocket.  Great.  He lost everyone’s faith in him for pretty much forever.  What did he forget while he was screwing them?  Why wouldn’t he sell naming rights to “Marlins Park” before letting those guys go?  It is dumb to me, and no one of high standing will pay much after letting those guys stroll.

24)   I hear that Argentine fans threw explosives on the field during a game the other day.  Damn, I want to go to the World Cup in 2014…SO bad.  And I will somehow.

25)   The Red Sox sign free agent catcher David Ross.  Not the flashy name they are looking for up in the northeast, but a solid pickup regardless.

26)   ESPN Mag.  I am really starting to hate you.  When is my subscription up again?  This is the SECOND straight sports preview (this one was college basketball) where your preview is USELESS.  Just like you NBA preview.  Crazy charts, hip acronyms, and irritating banter.  I liked a couple things out of it, but no roster?  No heights and years? I am a college basketball junkie so I buy more than one, and I am glad I have Athlon’s preview, because yours sucks.

27)   Dammit.  I forgot to set my fantasy lineup.  Damn.  I hope I started Reggie Bush, and if he is doing bad right now, I hope I didn’t and I am SO glad I forgot to set my lineup.  You get where I am going on this.  Moving on.

28)   The two people in front of MY personal spacious row came on the plane a little drunk.  Listening (they were talking very loud) to their conversation, I am pretty sure they are married…both to OTHER people.  Yup.  Sad.  THAT has to be a hell of a logistical nightmare.  A TRIP with someone else?

29)   Please try and find this on google.  There is a guy from the Belgian Basketball League (I think) who got into the game, was very excited, got the opponent’s free throw rebound, and then shot it FOUR times at layup range at the SAME hoop his opponent had shot on.  Finally, one of his teammates comes back and blocks the fifth one.  It was awesome.

30)   I like the Charlotte airport a lot when I go through there.  The workers for the airport are so freaking polite.  Whatever they are passing down to even the lowly workers, the message is being heard, and then conveyed to the visitors.

31)   The NHL sides made a decision to not talk today out of respect of it being the Thursday before Thanksgiving, and the date being an odd number.

32)   OK, CJ Spiller.  Fred Jackson is hurt.  You officially will now get ALL of the carries this week (that is funny-I just realized that they are playing right now too).  Let’s see if that ridiculous yards per carry is really even close to legit.

33)   Small hurdles.  If UVA beats UNC tonight, and VA Tech takes out Boston College on Saturday, UVA and VA Tech play for the right to go to ANY bowl, with the loser being out of luck.  It is just a tiny, tiny level down from the SEC Championship.

34)   Interesting.  As I perused the top 50 books in the land to see how The Panther is doing, I noticed something oddly good.  The Panther is at 16.  Plum Island, one of DeMille’s early John Corey books is at 18.  So, either that means that old school readers just wanted to go back to an early one after this new one, OR DeMille just picked up some NEW readers who wanted to start near the beginning to find out where this Corey guy came from.

35)   Hotel Lombardy, where I stayed, is nice and everything.  I do have three odd comments.  They have the tiniest community elevator…ever.  The door guys literally have to be yelled at to not take your luggage.  Finally, for my magical “steam iron,” the bathroom is too wide open for maximum efficiency.  I wasted a LOT of water steaming the suit this time around.

36)   I just write it and say it to make myself believe it.  Here I go again.  “I am not even concerned about not having Big Ben, Bryon Leftwich has been a starter in the league before, he knows the Steelers system well after a couple of years, and they will be fine with him at the helm.”  Does that sound believable?

37)   Congrats to CF Torii Hunter AND the Detroit Tigers.  Good pickup I think…for both.

38)   The US tied Russia in a friendly yesterday.  It actually was good because it WAS in Russia, but being the person who still can’t wrap his head around a “friendly,” I don’t personally care…at all.

39)   Funny thing Tosh.0 said and Lindsey’s contribution:  “Hey, I am like Tim Tebow.  I have had a good run, but I don’t deserve to be in the pros.”

40)   If the Mayans are right, Lindsey and I were wondering what time exactly is this thing going down with the whole time zone thing.  I need some clarity if I am supposed to buy in.  I think I will watch movies the night before.  The Day after Tomorrow or whatever the hell that movie was called.  And I am Legend.

41)   In this whole Tim Tebow/ anonymous media criticism thing, the media asked Tim about it.  He didn’t say “excited” at all, but he pretty much covered what you would expect him to cover being how “good he is.”  You know.  “I just wanted to try my best.  I just want to work hard.”  Yada yada yada. Ugghhh.

42)   Yes, Mike Trout, it is a shame that you will lose the AL MVP, and your WAR does indeed rock like few others ever, but I just don’t see you beating a Triple Crown winner who got in the playoffs.

43)   RA Dickey and David Price won the NL and AL Cy Young awards, respectively.  Price will be the best pitcher just THIS year, as we already know that Verlander is the best overall.  Price’s ERA was better, and I think that clinched it for him.  It was the closest vote ever since voters started voting for multiple places/ rankings (I used “vote” a LOT in that last sentence).  RA Dickey?  I think this was easy.  Dude was a rock star this year.  He is the first knuckleballer to win the award, even though his knuckeball goes up to 80 miles an hour.  It is a hybrid knuckleball pitch.  A pretty badass one.

44)   I had this great idea that I was going to give an NFL Standings report and talk about early NBA records.  I also was going to tell you some college picks.  I am not doing any of these for this rant, as I lost my initial college picking piece of paper (I did it on the flight OUT to DC and now can’t find it), and feel like getting about 45 minutes of shut eye since I have a whole row.

45)   These robot blog comments are getting a little ridiculous.  I don’t know how to shut them off and I am getting about 60 a day minimally.

46)   That is it.  I hope you enjoyed another blind airplane rant.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

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