Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock, but it is Sunday, and I would rather not be married to my laptop the day before I go use it again for 10 hours tomorrow. Day rant. Semi speed version. Let’s turn and burn.
TWITTER CO-BLOGGER: @gaberoyal
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. JJ, had some pops so you will like this one. Just got back from an experience I have had about 300 times in my life. I love walking into a dive bar, get in line wiht my goofy backwards hat (Harrelson) on the pool table where all the regulars think they are the shit, and walk out unblemished in the loss column after 4-5 games. Thanks to my late Grandpa for getting me going on the hobby/ sport. I am no one to be trifled with at billiards. Or, as Maverick said in Top Gun, “I can hold my own.”
2) Princess Bride, the greatest movie of all time, turned 25 this year. Here is some cool photo for your reading pleasure. If you are reading this and haven’t ever seen the movie, then you should A) stop reading this immediately B) go watch the damn movie.
3) The Daytona 500 being delayed by rain has delayed my excitement of watching the only hour ending of watching people turn left I do each year. If the ending of the race is tonight during True Detective, I guess I will be just catching the race next year. Unless I see that Danica is doing anything.
4) An NFL survey says that players are ok with a gay guy coming into the league. Michael Sam says that he wasn’t asked any sexuality questions in combine interviews. I am happy for both of those scenarios, but I think my co-blogger talked about this issue better than I could in short. Read yesterday’s blog after this for that full report.
5) Landon Donovan says that this World Cup is his last hurrah. Fine. Since our pipeline isn’t exactly overflowing with talent after you and Dempsey, can you guys just win this thing already?
6) I am still not sure how those huge bobsled guys sit in that small apparatus, and not sure what the middle two guys do in the four man after they are done pushing.
7) Jameis Winston says that FSU will go “Dallas to Dallas.” Clever. Catchy. Do what you need to do. Since you are presently playing baseball, all I care about is that #1UVA beats the hell out of you in the College World Series.
8) I am sad that I missed Hubie Brown announcing an NBA game earlier today because I was working out, and even more sad that Lindsey was the one at the gym to tell me that this was occurring. Hubie, you are a God of some sort.
9) There are no TV’s in the TRX-Boxing room, and I only play Rocky music on my Shuffle, not listen to TV or radio.
10) The Orioles picked up Ubaldo Jimenez, giving us another few years to ponder if he might go the longest in ANY sport as a “high ceiling, potential” player. Seriously, the guy posts a sub 3.0 ERA when he needs a gig, gets bored, or maybe wants to go to another city. He is like a successful Michael Olowokandi.
11) Not many people (in my tunnel vision hateful view) like Dwight Howard. Jordan Hamilton IS on that short list though. He is a wing athlete and decent shooter who will benefit from defenses sagging on Snowball.
12) Joel Embiid returns, meaning A) KU fans are happy B) potential agents are happy.
13) The TV keeps saying that “You are watching the Snapped marathon.” I am not, technically, but it helps Lindsey nap while I write for 2 hours and I am good at giving up the TV when there is nothing earth shattering going on with sports. Michigan-Michigan State was earlier, and I don’t mind forgetting about the Daytona 500, so we are good.
13a) Matt, Lindsey just beat level 421 and has said she is setting her sights on catching you in Candy Crush/ Sugar Mash.
14) Michigan WON by the way. There were about 10 teams capable of separating themselves from the pack as elite teams before the year. NONE are doing so. What is UP with Michigan State? SO inconsistent. The Cuse wins 25 straight and then drops two games to one good team and one very bad team. Wichita State plays no one. Cincy can’t protect their hometown crib against an all over the board Louisville. Freaking UVA might be in the top 10 tomorrow. This is insane. Revised Final Four. Florida, Kansas, Wichita State, St. Louis. I am mad at Michigan State. I don’t like Zona without Ashley. I don’t trust Duke against a big team. Nova doesn’t have the talent. The Cuse has almost won it all with teams with better offenses AND better defenses. AAAHHHHH. Someone step up. You know what? If I had to name a FIFTH team, I would say Wisconsin.
15) No, I am not talking UVA, this is not a homer blog, BUT the recent play of Anthony Gill for UVA has given me hope that offensively, they might have a scorer or two we didn’t expect. Dude gets limited minutes, comes in a pretends like he is a Wooden candidate, and ends up with 15 points somehow.
16) I feel like it will be 2023 and DeAngelo Hall will still be re-signing with the Redskins.
17) I told you UNC would win that Duke game. I told you that the Cuse would then lose to Duke after that loss to UNC. UVA is now in first in the depleted ACC, but did ANYONE call that Boston College would beat #1 Cuse and then lose to a bad Miami team by 30??? Anyone?
18) So, the Lakers are saying they are NOT tanking while waiting for Kobe to come back, but they trade the ONE guy who was not only a decent player but also Kobe’s boy on the team? You guys are running a train wreck over there, and you just happen to have one of the top ten players ever playing on your team.
19) Since I have been guilty of reading more sports magazines than books since I started dating Lindsey, she was very surprised when I woke up at 7am on a Sunday today to finish up Hunger Games. I really have to watch reading good books. They take over my life. Kind of tentative actually to start tackling Catching Fire. I might not accomplish anything this week.
20) I do read John Corey/ Nelson DeMille books. Because those books are the best things ever invented by man of course.
21) Darvish says that the Yankees overpaid for his countryman Tanaka. Just what the MLB needs. A little Japanese trash talking. Where the hell IS Mr. Park? Let’s get him in on this.
22) You can hate the state of New Jersey. You can say you don’t like basketball. But, however you slice it, PROPS to the Nets for signing Jason Collins. You might think they are doing this as a stunt since he is gay. You might also know that there is a SERIOUS lack of true centers in the present NBA. It is like kids 20 years ago stopped growing and/or stopped doing post moves.
23) When will the sky hook come back? Why doesn’t anyone do it even though the leading scorer ever at the NBA level used it religiously? Why do I keep mentioning this? Am I alone?
24) Russell Wilson will go to spring training with the Rangers. I know it won’t happen. I know he is smart and knows he has a good Seahawks team to come back to, but wouldn’t it be SOOOOO cool hypothetically if he won ONE Super Bowl and then went and became a HOF 2nd baseman?? It would be SOOO dope.
25) Half of the city of Charlotte is happy their NBA team made a trade deadline move, and the other half is Googling “Gary Neal.”
26) I will assume we will not get a press conference about Marshawn Lynch pleading down to reckless driving.
27) That is funny because he doesn’t even like talking to the media about GOOD things.
28) Someone please email me and let me know that if Terrell Owens is “older and wiser” and can play at 40, where exactly that places him in the maturity ladder. He was at zero previously, so does that mean that older and wiser means he is 8 years old now? Just asking the question.
29) When the NBA draft comes around, will they just allow the Sixers representative to just sit on the stage in between picks of other teams? What do they have? Nine?
30) I firmly believe that the Warriors made the best trade deadline moves in the NBA. They were dangerous last year. They are now contenders. Backup PG’s with experience and talent are never a bad idea.
31) I did not see it, but I hear that the US didn’t win shit in either singles figure skating contest. As soon as I figure out what ice dancing is, I will reallocate those resources into why this happened and what is going on with our skating pipeline.
32) Maybe you don’t follow sports. Maybe you don’t refresh ESPN like I do daily. BUT, as SMALL as story as it is right now, you WILL be hearing about some Ed O’Bannon court case in the next 6 months. It is officially going to trial, and it has the capability of changing the sports world as we have known it for the last…ever.
33) I like the new Bucs logo and helmet. Good job.
34) Darren Sharper pleads not guilty to the same thing that we all assume my Rant Squad interviewer Sebastian Janikowski was not caught for.
35) I can safely say that I THINK the Match Play Championship is going on while writing this, but not sure since everyone and their mother ducked out of this one. You would think an NCAA Tourney type golf tournament would be more popular overall.
35a) Dammit. During editing, my brother asked me if I was watching it. I try to give Lindsey “non sports” days and those days are better off dealt NOW as March is coming quickly.
36) Don’t freak out about OKC suddenly dropping a few games. I love basketball and played it for years. You can insert the second best PG in the league into the lineup of a winning team, and they STILL have to adjust. It is chemistry. That is what basketball is. They will be fine, and will face the Pacers in the Finals. Says here.
37) I have declared myself one of the biggest Ronda Rousey fans in the world. She won, looked good, and WOULD have won. That being said, the fight was stopped about 10 seconds too early. If they stopped Rocky fights like they judged THAT one, we wouldn’t have made it past Rocky I. Hell, Rory McDonald, my favorite male UFC guy, got his ass KICKED in one of the preliminary fights, and HE ended up coming back. I will surprise Lindsey by posting a picture of Rory INSTEAD of Ronda this time. Airbrush and all.
38) Best fight of the night, that Rory McDonald one.
39) Hello, UCLA basketball. When you decide what level of team you are, can you text me? I am tired of lauding Kyle Anderson as the best thing since sliced bread and then you all losing totally random games you should win. I am going to put a picture of sliced bread as opposed to Kyle Anderson until you sort it out.
40) Hello, UK, basketball. I know you are young, I know you are maturing, but just saying that beating LSU AT your crib should be a little easier in late February. You are supposed to be pretty much sophomores/ going to the draft as you all do.
41) Hello, Wichita State. You are now 29-0, and I am mad because I have been talking about you since you were 1-0 and now everyone knows about you. That is why I am transferring my Final Four love SLOWLY to St. Louis. Shhhhh.
42) The Canadians won the Olympic men’s hockey gold medal. You can read my old blogs. I read the released roster an hour after it was done and said it was unfair.
43) The Niners are close to a deal with WR Anquan Boldin. They should re-sign that guy. If anything, for the locker room. Plus, it gives me another year of wondering if I was drunk when drafting him in fantasy, dropping him because he isn’t doing anything, and then losing to someone who DOES have him in the FFL playoffs. Circle of life. I might as well pick up Sidney Rice and Nate Burleson while I am at it.
44) I know a lot about sports, but definitely would have thought that Kevin Love would have already had a triple double already. He just got his first one this weekend. I am a huge fan.
45) I am impressed about Johnny Football’s 4.56 combine dash. I don’t think anyone questions his speed or athleticism. I think scouts are worried that Manziel thinks he can look at the first read and then just RUN instead of checking out the 2nd and 3rd reads. That is in ADDITION to his party life. I wouldn’t take him unless I needed ticket sales or I was the Cleveland Browns (because we just ASSUME they will make bad decisions).
46) Richard Petty says he will race Danica Patrick. I think this whole thing is a joke, will be spun as no real winner, but I WILL watch one more hour of NASCAR if this happens. You had me at hello, Richard.
47) I bet you that Richard Petty is just jealous of Danica of having 1 mil in Twitter followers. I am too, Richard. I am only whatever 1 million minus 227 equals behind.
48) I successfully went to the grocery store today, hungry, after the gym, and did NOT buy Easy Cheese. You new readers have NO idea what kind of accomplishment that is. Monumental. We might as well run out and see if a meteor shower just happened.
49) Apparently, there is celebration in NYC and they are flipping over cars in happiness. That is what happens when your team signs Brett Gardner for another 4 years. HUGE signing.
50) That was sarcastic.
50) Just kidding. Gardner is a great player. Just cracking on that most people don’t know who he is.
51) Because of budget and resistance to change, I rarely change drinks. Since I only drink GOOD bourbon with water if possible if not traveling, at home I drink cheap vodka and ice tea. I have to say that powdered ice tea with vodka and water looks horrific. I could leave my drink in a HUGE party and no one would touch it. Looks like fungus, dog shit, and water all combined. But, it is my drink.
52) Marcus Smart returned and his stat line reminded us why he is a top 10 NBA pick. I wish he would stop forcing shots to prove to NBA scouts that he can shoot, but the guy is a next level star regardless of his temper tantrum against the Tech fan.
53) Clowney says he would have gone pro in 2013 if rules allowed. Yes, Mr. Clowney, we noticed that in your apathetic play this year. You are like the defensive version of Randy Moss.
54) I have promised not to gloat about UVA beating a par Notre Dame. I will also admit that we play all of the power ACC teams only once, which makes us very lucky and overrated.
55) I am not depressed about the US losing to Canada, but I AM disturbed about HOW the US lost to Finland in the Bronze Medal Game. Sad.
56) I am only sad about the Knicks attempting to buy out Metta’s contract except that I wish that Metta and JR Smith had more chances for strip club trips. Hoping for a bad ending to a crossing the streams Ghostbusters movie.
57) The Orioles ALSO signed Nelson Cruz. Quietly a very good signing, and evidently they have some money underneath their mattress.
58) I think that Duke’s Rodney Hood reminds me of Otto Porter from GTown last year, except for the consistency. Otto didn’t disappear during games.
59) The Giants and Tom Coughlin have agreed to a ONE year deal, meaning we all have the pleasure of talking about his job safety ALL year next year. Enjoy.
60) Congrats to that young-in Shiffrin for winning the slalom. I don’t totally understand the sport, but your wink before the giant slalom SOLD me on your style. Youngest ever-great stuff. Please email me what is different from the slalom and giant slalom if it is something different than the size of the hill.
61) You can love or hate LeBron. Amazing that the biggest injury thus far in his style of play is a broken nose. We fans are so lucky to see him on the floor, healthy.
62) Rumor has it that Jim Harbaugh was being talked about in a rare coach trade with Cleveland. I bet you HE goes to church now. That would have been abysmal.
63) A Dutch coach was talking shit to the US about Americans waste some of their best athletes on the silly sport of football. Sad as it may be, and it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong, but the coach is probably right.
64) Except for the fact that we don’t find football silly, of course. So how DOES it happen when you are 3 years old and you either want to kick a soccer ball or skate in an oval boringly. On a unrelated side note, how are you three years old and want to be a bobsledder?
65) I worry about getting older and losing athletes names with new faces and names, but at least I know I will see “Rooney” and “soccer” until 2019.
66) Danny Granger was “irked” at the trade to the Sixers from Indiana. In a related story, scientists have figured out the sky is blue and the grass is green.
67) The media didn’t really report it much, but I personally was surprised that BYU took out Gonzaga the other night and once again, am very bad I am a “retired” bettor.
68) Just reloaded it on my Shuffle while revitalizing it with new songs. If you like guitar, and haven’t heard the song “Engines of Creation” by Joe Satriani, please go and listen to the MOMENT you are done reading this rant.
69) Cheez Its are the greatest thing in life in my opinion. I always come back to reduced fat basic ones, but DO try all of the new ones. The new Grooves-Zesty Cheddar Ranch are not bad I will admit. I will go back to reduced fat normal ones tomorrow though.
70) I assume you have seen the Ray Rice-casino video. If not, go read that right after checking out the Satriani song.
71) SASO hot sauce MIGHT give a run to Sriracho in my world. Lindsey and I just found it at a store after having it at some random restaurant. I will run the tests and get back to you.
72) I had about 25 notes from the Duke-UNC game. I want to end this thing, so I will not go into them. To summarize, I will say I love Vitale saying Duke needs to go to Parker when he wasn’t in the game at the time, that UNC’s changing defense kept Duke guessing, that UNC will lose in first round or go to Final Four based on its FT shooting, that Bilas and Vitale together are awesome, and that it is a shame that Hairston is not on that team.
73) That is it. Going to do pre-work stuff before True Detective. Because, unless you live in a bubble, it is EASILY the best show on TV. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.