Totally forgot you co-wrote this…happy trails, Harold.
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Evening rant. Speed version. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. Sitting here watching Florida-Vanderbilt thinking about how much the refs must LOVE doing a game in Nashville because of the MASSIVE space they have by the sidelines.
2) KU basketball asked me to thank Oklahoma State for underachieving, Baylor for continuing to perplex where the talent goes, Oklahoma for remembering they are a football school, Texas for being Texas, and Iowa State for not quite being all the way there yet. Kind of scary that if they win 10 MORE straight, I will be writing this same hook when I am past 50 years old. Ugghhh.
3) Raymond Felton got gun charges this week and JR Smith messed with Vince Carter’s headband while they were playing. I kind of hoped it would have been reverse scenarios.
4) By the way, JR Smith, untying shoes and messing with headbands would be cool if A) you played for the Globetrotters and B) anyone liked you in the smallest way. This is coming from someone that like 5 people like, so I am beating you.
5) This actually HIDES the small story of the Knicks cutting Metta World Peace. I am sad about this. When it comes to crazy people with hops and skills, the more the merrier I say.
6) Dirk says that the awkward shot that beat Melo and his 44 and 9 was the ugliest game winner ever for him. That is a tough call, Dirk. ALL of your shots are ugly to a point, so we would really have to break down years of tape to settle THIS one. You redefined your position, but that does not change the fact that you look like a tall Woody Harrelson when you shoot.
7) Boom goes the dynamite. Not that I cook more than 3 things a week if we count pasta, but I have eliminated one other grey area thing. Safeway sells already hard boiled eggs. I never noticed this act of genius before.
8) Wow. Vandy has it down to 48-44 against Florida.
9) I think I am excited to see LeBron in a mask on the court.
10) I was going to blog yesterday, but I was about as excited to as Zack Greinke being in Australia.
11) Jerry Jones might have to let DeMarcus Ware go with salary issues. Do you think Jerry just gets loaded at work parties and tells stories about everything that happened up until 1996? He is definitely riding those years as far as he can go. Of course, it is also hard to fire yourself I suppose.
12) I would like to watch a basketball game on the couch, stands, or bar with Dick Vitale. Actually, check that one. Couch or stands. I would save the bar for Hubie Brown experience. I want to buy you LOTS of shots, Hubie, and then listen to you break down a game.
13) The fact that the Sacramento Kings are trying to buy anyone out is scary. Poor Jimmer might have to hit the road. Maybe he can go play with Adam Morrison, wherever the hell HE is these days.
14) Kendrick Perkins will be out for the Thunder for about 6 weeks. You can laugh at his 3.4, 5.0, and .5 input. He is needed for them to make a long run, is a presence inside, and they better hope he makes it back for seeding purposes.
15) Nelson Cruz has a fresh start and would like the Biogenesis thing to just fade away. Well, we wanted you all to stop cheating a while ago and let THAT fade away, but THAT never happened, so good luck with YOUR wish.
16) I said it before. It could blow up in their face, but if I am a Braves fan, I am happy as hell that my team just dealt out the money for all of my young stars. They are set for a while as long as those kids develop and stay healthy.
17) Ovechkin apologized to everyone about the Russians showing in Sochi. Boy, would I like to be a fly on the wall in the personal apology to Putin.
18) Have I mentioned how freaking good True Detective is and how sad I will be when it is over? I have? Oh. Anyway, NEVER saw the spin coming that happened this past week. Wow. I almost rolled off the couch.
19) The Wizards are getting used to what the Nuggets were used to for a few years. “Nene out for 6 weeks.”
20) No lame duck status for YOU! The Rangers extending Washington as their manager lets everyone play a little looser all year and allows him to simply manage. Smart. When Darvish and Tanaka are fighting it out for the Cy Young (just kidding), Ron at least needs to know he has job security.
21) Marcos Maidana is known as a slugger, so I guess it will look even more hopeless while Floyd Mayweather once again outboxes another opponent. The freaking problem is there is no one out there. We can’t complain. He is fighting the guys he should fight.
22) I will still watch it, of course.
23) When you understand the new baseball collision rule and can get in front of me while I am devil’s advocate and you STILL think you can win in explaining finite, monumental differences, give me a ring.
24) The Cuse tried its best to lose again at Maryland last night. Valiant effort at looking as shaky and inconsistent of good team as Michigan State is these days.
25) I forgot how many movies Harold Ramis had his paws on behind the scenes before reading some tribute columns. Wow. He pretty much OWNED most of the late 70’s/ early 80’s hit comedy movies.
26) I am enjoying Giants players saying to the media that they look forward to learning from Barry Bonds. Liars.
27) I know you were planning on me writing a lap by lap breakdown of the Daytona 500 in this blog, so sorry to let you down. Maybe later this week, because I love the sport SO much.
28) I WILL say “why do you still suck, Danica?”
29) He might not be all there up top, but Mr. Clowney’s 4.53 40 definitely made MOST of us believe he is still a freak athletic talent.
30) And that was not a clown hook.
31) I wish Dri Archer would have gotten Chris Johnson’s 40 record. We ALL need something to shut up THAT dude (Johnson), especially since it becomes obvious from year to year that he doesn’t care about winning. Just the Benjamins.
32) Adam Muema left the combine because God told him to. Apparently, God has already told him the Seahawks are drafting him. He probably went home and watched Hoosiers.
33) That also was not a clown hook. I don’t write my own material.
34) I am about as excited to hear new information on the 49ers/ Harbaugh thing tomorrow as I would be to go hang out with Skip Bayless at any point in life. Maybe in a boxing ring.
35) I admit that I might not be the dumbest person alive, but I am still wrapping head around “blind dog in a meat market” line and how it relates to Clowney.
36) Serious props for the NBA merchandisers for making Jason Collins jerseys even though he is on a 10 day contract. Props to all the people who inquired to get them to do so also.
37) I am not proud to buy THREE hot sauces at the grocery store the other day. One sriracha for work, one for home, and some smoked tabasco for those other types of items where needed.
38) If there is one player I could see playing undistracted with a contract on the horizon, it is Mike Trout. Dude is a stud, hard worker no matter what the salary, and class beyond.
39) Minnesota just beat Iowa? Wow. Hot off the presses (kind of mad I missed the ending with the remote control right next to me).
40) That is it. Going to go and watch some of this Wisconsin-Indiana game. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.