This one time, in band camp…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

New 20 minute is not being applied today.  I have a possibly broken toe, can’t go to the gym, have my purple toe propped up, and haven’t blogged in two days.  I am just going to rant for a bit lacking something better to do right now.

5:14

1)  Jason Kidd goes to the Knicks in a surprise 360 (Seinfeld reference) that occurred today, after hearing most of the day the Mavs were close to locking him up again.  This creates an interesting scenario.  First, it makes Carmelo and Amare very happy, assuming Jason Kidd can stay somewhat fast, healthy, and continue to shoot 3’s at the better clip he has been over the last three or so years (probably improved just because he knows there is no one in the league he can go AROUND anymore).  It probably means Jeremy Lin is going elsewhere.  Sure, Lin could still sign with NYK for less money, but WHY?  Dude is one of the top free agents at the point, all from a four week demo for us.  Amazing.  With Fields also leaving the Knicks, guess they better butter Baron Davis up to stay…sane.

1a) PS.  Jeremy, go to the Rockets.  It would be a great fit.

2)  Super PGDeron Williams signs with the Nets again.  The Joe Johnson signing probably was a huge part of his decision, and you might as well just book Dwight Howard for this location next year barring him playing a rental somewhere else this year, OR for the Nets this year if they somehow find more players to trade.  IF they get Howard, they might only have 4 players left and just might have to have a team watching of Hoosiers.  MY TEAM is on the floor.

2a)  The guy will never get pub because he is a perennial 2nd teamer who just busts his ass ALL the time, but the Nets quietly picked up Reggie Evans.  Love that guy, and love the pickup.  An undersized rebounder who gives nothing but everything every single minute on the court.

2b) RANT SQUAD UPDATE: At least because of this trade, I know where DeShawn Stephenson is now again.  You have been quiet, my friend.  Don’t make me put you on the Rant Squad DL.  I will.  I have LOTS of upcoming misfit talent.

3)  The Clippers grabbed Chauncey AND Jamal Crawford.  Interesting.  They either have found a luxury tax loophole, EXPECT Billups to get injured at some point in the season, or Crawford is happy to go back to a 6th man role.  They are somewhat the same position.  Guess James Harden inspired Crawford.

4)  He didn’t think he deserved it, but it is a done deal now.  Rangers pitcher Yu Darvish got the last vote to be on the All Star Team.  I think he deserves it, and I think he is playing us in interviews and knows he deserves it to.Sure, the 3.59 ERA is a little high, but I don’t see anyone REALLY obvious that should be there instead.  In the NL, David Freese?  I am ok with this, but kind of confused how the guy gets on with people like Michael Bourne batting .310 NOT getting on.

4a)  Kind of sad Bryce Harper and Chipper Jones didn’t make it.  Bryce isn’t all there stat wise yet and he will have plenty more, and Chipper won’t have any more of them, but has gotten his for his career.

5)  GREAT episode of Seinfeld on while writing this.  The barber part is kind of funny, but the part of the plot where Costanza is not sure if his interview ended with him getting the job or not is classic.  Oh, yes, the Penske file.  We’ll straighten HIM out.

6)  Nash off the market?  Get a PG FAST.  Toronto ended their teasing by Steve Nash by swinging Kyle Lowry immediately after Nash got scooped up by the Lakers.  This assures us that the Raptors will stay…the Raptors.  Jameer Nelson resigned with the Magic today also.  He will never take them to the promised land, but keeps them solid at the position for the next few years. As far as Nash, this is perfect for him.  It takes some pressure off of Kobe to win every game, gets Gasol back in the offensive flow, and will allow Andrew Bynum more dunks and less time to think about what he should do with that ridiculous NBA body he has.  Nash stays closer to his family, has a legit title shot for the next two years, and I don’t care WHAT type of person or player Kobe Bryant is, NO ONE is going to EVER bitch about being on that little dude’s team.

7)  The fans get to watch the replays now at NFL games.  Sounds fantastic.  I am not sure WHY I think about this in this way.  I have no reasons.  I just have a bad feeling about this.  Keep that info under the hood I say, then insert something into this hook about Pandora’s Box…sure it will apply.  You know me and cliches.

8)  It is Serena Williams in the final at Wimbledon again, seeking her fourth I believe.  Radwanska is a solid opponent, but that seemlingly fake excitement to BE in the finals by Serena indicates to me that she was just keeping it to herself that she is going to SMOKE this chick.  I am retired, but I would take Serena with whatever odds come with the strawberries.

9)  On the men’s side, it is three of the usual suspects and then the “other guy.”  You might not know who Jo Wilfried Tsonga is, but my long term, loyal readers will remember I might just be a year late in my bold prediction that Tsonga will win this thing.  He is young, amazingly athletic, and has the skills to A) take down perennial semi-finalist Andy Murray B) make everyone aware of who he is.  I am not saying it will happen with the way Djokovic is playing, but just saying don’t be surprised if it does.

10)  The Marlins get Carlos Lee.  Nice pickup.  Great also to see another reason why my subconscious thoughts are suddenly getting to be conscious thoughts about how the Phillies might be out of the mix this year.

11)  Talking about the firework version of the first American Pie, how YOU doing San Diego fireworks?  Guess you had 500,000 Nadia’s, aye?

12)  By the way, the reason I was asking about the Savages preview song was not because I didn’t know that my boy Nate Dogg was dead, but because I thought they would use a new song during such a hip movie, so it COULDN’t be him.   I was confused.  Thanks, Kyle.

13)  I have said that I read the ESPN Almanac like other people read books, and also reread it.  I was looking at college basketball player of the years in college and made an analytical comparison mentally against #1 overall picks.  You would be surprised to know that there were a similar amount of Michael Olowokandis in comparison to Adam Morrisons.  Sometimes maybe it is better going for the player with better skills as opposed to “upside.”

14)  I am very surprised that the chick who tied for third just “conceded” the tie to her opponent.  Can you at least make up SOME type of cool lie of why you have dedicated 4 years of your life to your country’s Olympics, and then suddenly just give it away?

15)  Tony LaRussa comes out of retirement to do the ritual of the past World Series winner managing the All Star team the next year.  Then, what happens?  He gets ALL over the wire with some of his selections.  Oh, that’s right.  We have this stupid rule of the All Star winning league getting home field advantage in the Series.  Shit is “serious.”

16)  AD’s ankle.  Odon wants to spend time with his family.  Howard and his back.  Are we going to have ANY big guys on the US Team?

17)  Yay.  Busted toe or not.  It is ALWAYS a good day when I catch one of the few episodes of Family Guy when Peter and the chicken fight.  AND the one where they remember why they are fighting.  Yay again.

18)  Dara Torres gets fourth and misses her 6th Olympic team for the 50m free.  See you in 4 years, Dara.  Sorry for calling you Dana last time, Dara.  “Dana” IS more mainstream. Sorry.

19)  Hey, Sean Payton.  Sorry about the recently announced divorce.  Go watch Usual Suspects.  Then, you will start saying one of my favorite lines ever from a movie.  You will also chuckle more than you already do when you see something about Stephen Baldwin.http://www.metacafe.com/watch/mv-6vfLH/bad_day/

20)  I think, but am not sure, that the Tour de France is going on.  I would Google something to report, but don’t have the energy, interest, or time.  Just know this.  Someone  will win who we will then have 5 years of doping stories about.  Book it.

21)  MLB had a game where a guy hit two foul poles in a row.  Remarkable, no pun intended.

22)  Not just a badass bat and pretty face.  Check out Mark Texiera’s defensive play the other night. (DAMMIT.  I couldn’t find it on Google.  Look yourself.  It was badass)

23)  I don’t have kids.  I like to do crazy things.  And, I believe myself to be pretty athletic.  That being said, I don’t think I would EVER do this.  The downside is too much, and I get and cause odd injuries throughout my life. This toe injury is actually one of my more boring story injuries.  http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/atlanta-braves-fan-catches-foul-ball-holding-baby-video-article-1.1107788

24)  Good job, Usain Bolt.  At the VERY time we are doubting your speed, you oddly pull out of an event.  Way to get us think about maybe the only reason Blake beat you was because you are not 100%.  Clever.  Well, if you ARE hurt, then I take back all my comments from the last couple rants.

25)  I think this was a great trade for the Hawks.  They get rid of former top pick and semi-bust Marvin Williams, and they get PG Devin Harris in return. Harris is solid, a scorer to help replace some of the Joe Johnson loss, and they are still pretty solid at the big spots to not lose too much.  Plus, they have like 1000 players from the Johnson trade as backups.

26)  The Bulls were talking to Derek Fisher and Brandon Roy the last few days.  Derek, you had a few decent games and you have a bunch of rings.  That being said, stay on OKC and enjoy that ride this year before Harden gets greedy and leaves.  Brandon, sometimes you root for comebacks and sometimes you don’t.  In your case, I am rooting for you, also me being a fellow knee casualty of the game.  Not quite on your level, but I get it.  Brandon, go compete for time with Rip Hamilton and his facemask.  Luckily, with Deng in limbo, you can also play the 3.

27)  Jason Terry is about to sign with the Celtics, meaning you can almost write in permanent marker that Ray Allen will take less money to go with the Heat.  That is fine with the Celtics.  They get a few years younger at the position, have flexibility with Avery Bradley, and also get a combo PG for when Rondo gets tired.

28)  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and the NFL has rejected all bounty appeals.  You can be motivated all you want, but you are not going to overturn a done and done case that had marginal evidence in the first place.  The entire thing is gray area in the first place.

29)  In this world of 4 team playoffs and super conferences, even I, an ACC alum, could give two shits about the ACC and the Orange Bowl reaching a 12 year contract deal.

30)  RANT SQUAD UPDATE: He is technically not on the squad yet, but he is on my watch list.  Scouts have already been deployed.  Michael Beasley is on the Suns.

31)  One other Phillies note.  Sure, I am glad that Cliff Lee finally won his first game in over a year, but the moment I saw that he got pie in the face made me think that the Phillies watched some old Mad TV’s, and suddenly have “lower expectations.”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xLsRI7-hBs  Get focused, guys.

32)  Eric Gordon has announced his heart is in Phoenix, which is why he has asked New Orleans to not match their offer.  Interesting.  Dude, did you WATCH the draft?  Rivers?  AD?  You don’t want to be part of THAT party and would rather live in depressed Nashville (I just made that up)?  Pretty sure your heart will change allegiance once they match the offer.

33)  My lucky number is #11.  Combination of Isiah Thomas’s jersey uniform number and the movie “23” with Jim Carrey (concept: do I like the number and it follows me around or do I notice my lucky number and therefore go out of my way to find it?  Call me, Jack Handy).  ANYWAY, Brazil, land of soccer, is #11 in the latest, post EURO rankings.  Crazy shit.  We Americans could make more jokes about this, but we came in at #36.

33a) About the 23 movie concept, I was playing with my buddy, Adam, years ago.  I went up to a Par 3 after playing horribly ALL day.  I said that I would bet I would be closest to the pin.  They asked why.  I said that all 19 numbers on the tee sign added up to the #11 (yes, technically you could argue it was “2,” but let it go).  The numbers did, I hit it 6 feet away, and the internal myth grew.

34)  Dude, just because you can’t race anymore and miss it, it doesn’t mean you have to make dumbass comments like these.  Can I remember you for one of the most badass sprinters of all time and that is all? http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-michael-johnson-slave-descendants-make-better-athletes-20120705,0,7290180.story

35)  Joakim Noah is injured and off the French basketball team for the Olympics.  Ok.  Let me get this straight.  I follow basketball.  The only two players that I could name off their team would be Parker and Noah.  Now, they are both off it.  Pretty sure they don’t have a shot in the show.

36)  McDonalds is loaded for bear in London.  2 stories, and the largest McDonalds in the world for the Olympics.  I GET wanting to switch to American food after a week or so in the  Olympics.  But, couldn’t put a Jimmy Johns or something there instead of a monster McDonalds?  Isn’t the Olympics supposed to brand something about fitness and well-being?

37)  I might have to find a way to watch this Sonnen/ Silva UFC fight this Saturday.  I am SO curious how this thing breaks down, and how injured each of them get.

38)  Joey Chestnut won the hot dog thing again.  The other guy competed in some ghetto contest because of his “problems” and contractual shit.  Why am I confused and sad?  I am confused because don’t those guys have spotters or scoreboards showing where they are at?  Joey, you TIED yourself in a ten minute time frame.  You couldn’t eat ONE more dog to get to 69 and the record that you hold/ tied?  Other guy.  I am sad because of you.  Your name is Kobayashi.  I love watching you compete, then making some dogs late night and watching Usual Suspects.  It was kind of a tradition for me on the fourth. Damn you.

39)  IF my colleague from work, Brian, who is from Minnetonka, has been able to remain a Wild fan over the last few years, then he is happy.  LOVE the Wild pickups yesterday.  They picked up Zach Parise AND Ryan Suter.  Fantastic for them, and definitely a team to watch now.

40)  Finally, I LOVE what they did for NFL orientation for the newbies.  They took them to the NFL Hall of Fame for a day.  They let them SEE the greatness they can achieve if they don’t do things that get them on my Rant Squad.  Actually, that is why I didn’t blog yesterday.  I had to fly to Canton to give a speech about my Rant Squad and how they shouldn’t be on it.  Buy a driver for drunk nights.  Stay away from the term “distribution.”  I was torn during my speech.  Part of me wants them to do good.  Part of me wants them to go to a strip club with guns and drugs.

41)  That is it.  Thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question.  Peace.

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