This one time…at blog camp…
Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Kind of on the clock. Sunday afternoon rant and honestly don’t have anywhere to be, but really should not be on my laptop all day. Lindsey’s napping. Semi-speed version since I have a lot of hooks noted. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. Bulls-Lakers and Olympics that I already know who won in everything are on in the background. Let’s get to it.
2) The Magic beat the Spurs the other night, meaning that I assume whether they were on the court or not, the Spurs were resting for the playoffs in some way or another. Aside from hope from their IU freshman, they really stink. If they didn’t have Milwaukee as their pal, they would really be depressed.
3) Don’t know if you caught that Pacers-Blazers game the other night, but it was fun. My girl was just happy it didn’t go into TWO OT’s. Let’s call that matchup the legit NBA Finals that we wouldn’t bet on, but basketball junkies know it is not totally out of left field either.
4) Finally watched our recorded episodes of True Detective. First of all, if you don’t have HBO, get it. Second, if you haven’t caught those shows and have HBO, stop reading this shit and go watch them. Third of all, it is McConaughey with a SOUTHERN voice, meaning he can be good. He is SOLID in this-trust me. I am hooked and can’t wait to watch tonight’s episode ON the air. Think of Usual Suspects (probably why I like it so much). They are interviewing McConaughey and Harrelson AFTER all of these crazy events we don’t know about went down. I think we meet their version of Keyser Soze in tonight’s episode. Also, they are on contract for only ONE season, meaning they HAVE to wrap stuff up.
5) Ok. The NBA is batting 1 for 2 with me this week. They got The Brow on the All Star team. Good. But, this team crap for the dunk contest just sounds stupid. I want ONE winner, and by the rules I saw, there is a CONFERENCE winner. I read quickly though, so I could be wrong on just how dumb it will actually be. I am happy some big names are in it, and mad that they changed format.
6) Have I ever mentioned that Hubie Brown is like the greatest basketball announcer EVER? I haven’t? Hmmmm. I think the only way I was able to turn off the channel in front of Lindsey on Friday was because I was catching my breath after watching the first episode of True Detective and was all pumped up to watch the NEXT one.
7) Hey, Russia. Four lit up rings. Five lit up rings. You were batting 80% I suppose.
8) I know I joke about how much I work per week, but this blog could end up at 100 hooks and would still fit snugly within the time I worked yesterday.
9) Geez, Colin Farrell. I just watched a commercial for your new movie. Something about love, Valentine’s Day, and horses or something. You better come out with a kickass one after that one so I still like you as an actor. Team up with Arnold and Sly. It can be shitty, but you will beat people up.
10) What am I missing? Our usually quiet street is full of cars. Evidently I not only rely on my social director/ girlfriend who is on call this weekend to make plans for me but also am missing some festival or concert this afternoon. That’s ok. Ranting is more important.
11) I don’t know what the hell I am going to do with them in 6 weeks, but dammit Villanova is 21-2 this season. Not a believer by any means, but the #6 team in the nation just won’t go away.
12) For you people who have smart phones that vibrate, does your leg see to vibrate (I wear cargo shorts mostly) and then you realize your phone is on the counter next to you?
13) Creighton beat DePaul. This is the easiest year for POY I have seen in years. Doug McDermott for you people who live in a bubble. 25 and 7 is not easy to do when everyone and their mother knows you are Plan A. Kind of like our fraternity basketball team with my boy, Scott, except for Scott was like 5’10” tops.
14) The Jordan recruiting documents are going to auction without us really knowing whether they are unique or not. Must be nice to have money you just are looking for ways to spend.
15) Ashley Wagner has gone viral, and I am not talking about having sex with other athletes in the Olympic Village.
16) I am not the dumbest nor smartest guy, but why I can’t pull down songs in iTunes from my other computer seems silly to me. I did update my iPod Shuffle for the first time in two years this afternoon. Needed to refresh my 80’s songs for working out, and pull songs from my mix CD’s Lindsey makes me. Yes. She makes me mixed CD’s and it is SO dope that she does. 18 in a little over two years. Keeps us fresh and me semi-hip too as I have NO idea what is cool these days. I would have been the last person to know about THESE guys had she not made these.
17) I had a hook that was going to say “Look OUT. Adreian Payne is back for Michigan State,” but then they went and lost at Wisconsin. Not the worst loss, but come on. I had a whole LARGE hook ready for my future Final Four team. Dammit.
18) Mo Cheeks got fired after 50 games from the Pistons. How can he be blamed for picking up Josh Smith and therefore clogging up the middle OR making J Smooth into thinking he should launch three point shots? Fire the GM. Word is that they want Lionel Hollins, who is unemployed and is famous for getting let go after earning a top 5 seed in the West on his watch. Odd.
19) Go America. You are reading the wrong blog for cool X Games types of sports, but great to see that the Americans swept both the men’s and women’s golds in slopestyle. I assume I can tune in Tuesday and perhaps catch the actual coverage.
20) Just kidding. I know it was on the other night. I am slow, but not THAT slow. And I like to reuse jokes a lot.
21) KJ Wright says that the Seahawks could beat the Broncos 90 times out of 100 games. Shut up and stop saying stuff we will NEVER be able to prove or not prove. You guys won and Peyton is getting old. We get it. Watch yourself. He still has another year or two left in him.
22) Peyton got back on the horse (accidental pun-sorry). He competed in the Pebble Beach Pro-Am 5 days after losing the Super Bowl…badly. I heard he wanted to at least know he had a better golf swing than Charles Barkley.
23) I have no idea if Charles was in that event. No time to Google it. Moving on.
24) Bode Miller has the fastest training run and then didn’t medal. Are we like on the 3rd Olympics where he is underachieving. I would have more sympathy, but wasn’t he the one who said he loved to party in the Olympics Village DURING the Olympics?
25) 140 characters. Join the fun. I will be tweeting my 1000th tweet sometime tomorrow. I am not sure what that means, but it IS a milestone of SOME sort. 215 followers. I am behind my 500 followers by the end of February pace. Still learning the ropes, which is just send links and lots of those hashtag things.
26) At least ONE Woods family member is lighting it up. Cheyenne Woods, Tiger’s niece, won in Australia this weekend. She was yearning for some Perkins afterwards, but thankfully stayed away. No, that joke will NEVER get old to me. NEVER. And she even gets a pic in my rant. Good genes evidently.
27) If you didn’t see the pics of the US Olympic bobsledder who got locked in the bathroom, I am here for you.
28) Sorry, Logan. This IS the “picture” rant. I have nowhere to go.
29) In case you care, UVA beat the hell out of GTech Saturday in the second half and has a winnable game versus Maryland Monday. And then ALL winnable games versus Clemson, Virginia Tech, Notre Dame, and then Miami. They could feasibly be 15-1 going into a March 1st matchup vs. the Cuse. Just saying. Now that I just wrote that, they will probably lay an egg vs. Maryland. I will blame the President being in Charlottesville and causing a pandemonium IF they do.
30) Florida basketball wins again…and the guy you need to know who he is, Chris Walker, is JUST getting integrated. Scary stuff.
31) Pacquiao called Mayweather “Hitler.” Manny, stuff a sock in it (Seinfeld). You had your chance to not be having rematches against controversial dudes you lost to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fscN4yfuJs
32) I don’t know much about the biathlon, nor skiing, nor shooting, nor why Norway is good at ALL of them oddly, but Bjoerndalen winning his SEVENTH gold sounds solid. Put HIS name in a Wheel of Fortune puzzle. Do it.
33) My boys, yes, MY boys, Wichita State won at Northern Iowa this weekend. Sure, directional schools are usually tossed aside, but that is really one of their last 2-3 roadblocks on going undefeated.
34) How can Michigan and Texas basketball look SO good one night and SO bad this weekend? Both got SMOKED.
35) Said here. Not only does Bill Self have TWO of the best pro prospects in the nation this year, and not only does he usually round out his rotation and capability of his team by March, BUT Tarik Black is starting to show signs he is finally there to ball. WHY is this important? Just know this. Memphis always gets top flight recruits, he went there highly regarded, and now has transferred to Kansas and is starting to show signs of life and input. Scary.
36) And speaking of Memphis, nice comeback last night against a solid Gonzaga team. You were at home and should have won, but Gonzaga is definitely no pushover.
37) Think about it. No matter how cheesy it is overall, the first and second American Pie REALLY has some of the most classic scenes in comedy over the years. I consider them a team version of Jim Carrey.
38) Think about it. I had a point there. Carrey doesn’t exactly has the funniest movies overall, but there are some scenes that will be watched by people 50 years from now.
39) If you would have laid a bet that Melvin Ejim, after you Googled him, would have erupted for 48 points this weekend, then I guess you are in the money. Congrats. I personally did NOT see that coming…like ever.
40) The Colts snag Chudzinski. Just like Lionel Hollins, no one has any idea how HE got fired.
41) I haven’t figured out whether SMU beating streaking Cincy by 19 tells me that Cincy is overrated or that SMU is a dark horse.
42) By the way, in case you didn’t think that coaches have a huge part of winning, check out this. Quick. Name the SMU basketball coach. Seriously. Think about it. Stumped? LARRY FREAKING BROWN. They have been off the radar for…ever…and now that guy has them beating the hell out of people with limited talent.
43) What the HELL happened to Bob Costas’s eye this weekend?
44) I haven’t heard his voice yet, but Lindsey told me that Cris Collinsworth is announcing parts of the Olympics. Is that TRUE? The happiest part of the Super Bowl ending is that I DON’T have to hear his voice anymore. I will keep it on the Bulls-Lakers game right now. I am scared.
45) Is it just me, or does EVERYONE get into Ocean’s Eleven if it is on TV…even if it is midnight on a Saturday? LOVE that ending.
46) I totally forgot about this and should have mentioned it when talking about the Magic and Spurs. The Jazz beat the Heat? I always talk about my problem with seeing women’s scores on the bottom line on ESPN and getting confused. Baylor’s RANKED? I would have thought those were the ladies teams….whatever that means.
47) Congrats to the Grizzlies for attempting ONE foul shot attempt AND still winning. Way to attack that rim, guys.
48) Hey, Bucs WR Mike Williams. A criminal mischief and trespassing arraignment doesn’t get me to send out Rant Squad scouts unless you did it like Deshawn Stevenson did it a couple years ago. Sorry.
49) Would you rather have me close with the conspiracy among the Russian and US ice skating judges or with Marcus Smart? Thought so. The video took me by surprise. MUCH worse than when Lindsey first told me it happened. Here is the thing. That fan is a loyal Texas Tech fan and has been to PLENTY of games. Sure, I am assuming there are some racist people down in Texas. I get it. But, Marcus Smart. You are not just some college basketball player who will play his years, graduate, and then go be a teacher or something. You are a top ten lottery pick in the NBA draft. Restrain yourself. You are better than that. I don’t give a shit whether Mr. Orr used a racial slur (I really do actually, but that would make me go off on a whole new tangent). You need to be classy and go back to the court. Be “smart.” Hardy har har.
50) And for some people who have asked why I don’t send out emails, here is the thing. You know I write daily, and you can’t be THAT lazy to need a link once a week. Readership is good and self-sustaining at this point. Just check me out here and there and tell your friends if you like it. BIG thank you to those who read this regularly. I bleed this rant, and hopefully it shows. AND, now that I know I have a sub who writes differently AND quality stuff, it is easier. But, I am trying to let up on your email inbox and am pretty much not on Facebook unless Lindsey tags me.
51) That is it. I have shit to do. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.