Think of this photo theme as a puzzle to only be solved by reading the rant…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  It is 7:17 and my work day is not over.  Sometimes I feel like that Mark guy from the Corona commercial.  Something about wake up, shower, work, gym, TV, and go to sleep. Except that I blog also.

Let’s turn and burn.

1)  Third down and time winding down and Dallas THROWS it to get the first down.  Gutsy, it worked, and coach looks like a genius.  That is the level below of a basketball player launching a bad three at the end of the shot clock…until it goes in.  THEN, it is genius.  Nice win for the ‘Boys, and I guess we are in for another year of the Giants being 9-7 and people calling for Tom Coughlin’s head.  That dude spends equal amount of time on the Hall of Fame ballot AND the hot seat.  Amazing.

2)  The Cowboys are denying it, but word is that Jason Witten actually offered to sign a waiver in case something happened in the game with his spleen.  It might not be true, we will never know, but pretty badass if he DID do that.

3)  I am watching the Cincy-Pittsburgh game.  I am older, but I remember when Pittsburgh used to be good.  What happened, guys?  Just hand it to Graham and call it a day.

4)  There is a Taken II coming out?  I don’t understand how those parents back in the day left their kid home alone multiple times, and I SURE as hell wouldn’t try and take Neeson’s kid again.  Didn’t you bad guys learn ANYTHING from the last one?

5)  Here is a stat that no longer is active.  Damn.  Before last night, the defending Super Bowl champ was 8-0 in their opening game since the NFL had them lead the season off early.

6)  You might think that it was crazy that Federer lost in the US Open to a guy you have to google his last name’s pronunciation.  I think THIS is crazy.  If both never played again and Federer went down as the greatest ever, Berdych could say that he officially won the best of 7 series head to head against Federer.  4-3.  Not bad stuff, bro.  You will bore the SHIT out of your kids if THAT stat holds.

7)  Art Modell dies at 87.  He did a lot of great things for football.  Too bad he will be remembered for moving the storied Browns franchise to Baltimore.

8)  This high school QB can throw the ball on a ROPE…to the ref.  Pretty funny.

9)  Here we go again?  It is only the first round, but Rory McIlroy leads the PGA’s BMW tournament….with Tiger lurking in his suddenly usual 2nd or 3rd.

10)  Roger Goodell has said he was pleased with the replacement refs.  Hell, sure he is pleased.  The over/ under of weeks until they blow a game is 2.5.  One game down, and a bunch to go.

11)  A study has come out that the Jets and Pats have the highest ticket prices.  I HATE to see THEIR prices, because there is a reason I won’t be attending the Broncos-Steelers game Sunday night.  My couch is comfortable, I won’t have other idiots around me, it is a school night, and I am far from made of money.

12)  Adrian Peterson has declared he is ready to play.  Valiant statement, bro, but I have a feeling that you are not the one making the decision.

13)  Shaq has been invited to play in the Mexican basketball league.  You might say that you are surprised that Shaq might consider this.  I am surprised that this is the VERY first time I have EVER seen ONE headline from a professional basketball league from there.

14)  The Jets owner has come out and said the media is to blame for the “circus” labeling. Unless you all are blatantly LYING about some of the events going on, the media and masses have FULL right to make fun of you all.  You guys are being idiots.

15)  This is a hook I want to make LOTS of jokes on, but I am afraid the Fillerbuster will be misinterpreted.  Therefore, I will be good and just report it.  A girl’s family is suing the system for $5 MILLION for a skating coach fondling their daughter in a hotel room, and therefore making her quit skating.  I will say this.  No.  I won’t.  Seriously, here we go…NO, FILLERBUSTER.  Move on.

16)  If the fan who ran on the court at the US Open to get Djokovic’s autograph after his match is surprised for being arrested, then obviously he is a young one, and hasn’t seen one of the most horrifying tennis events of the last thirty years…the stabbing of Monica Seles.  As polite as the sport SEEMS, if there is ONE place you don’t want to run at the players, it is tennis.

17)  A couple months ago, I mentioned a great article about Floyd Mayweather and his “betting bag” he carries around.  There could be hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash that he just carries around in case he “needs” it.  Well, he had the bag last night.  Word is he put down a $200k bet on the second half score for the Cowboys…and won.  The rich get richer, and I guess he is not exactly hanging at home on the couch since being released from jail.

18)  Jeers to the man at the Marlins game who stole the ball from a little girl.  Way to be a class act, and I hope her dad tripped you in the bathroom at the next break at least.

19)  Giants RB David Wilson played his first NFL game and is ALREADY a legend.  If you zoom in on a picture of him after his 2nd carry, which was a fumble, the dude is shedding a tear.  That locker room is holding a pool right now to see what his nickname for life will be.  Here is MY idea.  Steal one from a baseball flick and call him LOTO.  League of their Own.  That was improv speed typing.  I actually think that is kind of clever.

20)  Someone email me the Shakira sex tape with that soccer guy.  Just saying.

21)  Big Ben, showing how tender of a guy he has been his whole life, has declared seeing his newborn come into the world over the game if they happen at the same time.  SLOW your roll, bro.  IF you hadn’t already crashed your bike, not listened to a chick say no at a college club, and did something not proven, but shady at that Utah resort, I would say good for you-miss it.  But you DID those things.  I don’t give a RAT’S ass if you think you should miss a game.  Do it, and I am flying to Pittsburgh and kicking your ass.

22)  Odd story.  Peyton Manning is the new hero in this town.  He is #18 as expected.  Denver has gangs.  And, you guessed it, 18 is a gang sign banned by a Colorado grade school.  Therefore, this local 3rd grader got kicked out of his school for the day when he wore a Peyton jersey.  Crazy, crazy world.

23)  That is it.  I have some work to do.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Hope you enjoyed.  Peace.

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