Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock…kind of. Evening speed rant. More on that in a second. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Ugghhh. Lindsey is in the mountains. Some guys go to the strip club when the lady is out of town. I had a planned perfect night of Sancho’s for a beer, Hubie Brown and the Pacers-Knicks, McDonald’s, blogging, and designing my home digital sign. Slightly off now. Needed house related distraction that went a little longer than expected. Got the beer at Sancho’s, the needed distraction, Hubie Brown didn’t announce the early game, we are starting blog, and probably no time for the sign work. AND, I have a busy weekend where I probably won’t be blogging much. SO, let’s clear the list. Speed style. This will be weekend content with one succinct hook on each. Should be fun. It is 8:10. I am going to clear this shit by 9:15. Crazy speed.
2) ANOTHER hiccup. Lindsey records shows. I feel like I am in that damn commercial. I want to watch the Rockets-Mavericks. There is a “Live TV conflict.” Dammit. Might have to turn on music. Lindsey needs her shows recorded. Sorry, babe. We didn’t record Soup, which kills me too. This night is all jacked up. Focus, Filler. Speed version. Ready, set…
3) Steve, if you are reading this after knowing I was set to go…once again, the Pacers are top 10 in FT % AND won the game tonight against the Knicks. How about that, big boy? Steve, I can’t believe you wanted to change the TV from the end of the Knicks-Pacers game to the beginning of the Northern Illinois-Toledo football game. That is a pure hatred of basketball.
4) Yay. Hubie Brown is doing the late game. NOW I am happy. Brilliance.
5) Big MLB trade. Fielder wasn’t excelling in the Tigers lineup like he used to, and the Rangers needed another big bat after letting Hamilton go. I think both teams made out well.
6) Anyone else getting the feeling Jameis Winston is guilty? The family of the accuser wrote a pretty detailed letter, including a detective telling the accuser “Tallahassee is a big football town…rake you over the coals.” Yeah. Something is being hidden I think. You better fend this thing off until after the BCS Championship, FSU.
7) A-Rod walks out of an MLB grievance meeting and somehow ends up on a radio talk show when he was supposed to still be in the meeting. This guy is a cheater, but at least we know he is getting more interesting by the minute. Him and Canseco will be having beers in no time…or boxing…or something.
8) Vonn tore her ACL. Shame. More time to spend with Tiger, but would have been a great comeback. Heal well, Lindsey.
9) Anyone notice that Clowney is no longer the obvious #1 NFL draft pick? Think about how there were Heisman campaigns going on a couple months ago. Crazy. Injury? No. Not all that and a bag of chips? Yes.
10) Who are we kidding? He will blow up the combine and go #1.
11) Who is Patrick Beverley? I had to Google it to remind myself too. Don’t feel bad. He played at Arkansas, and is the current STARTING PG over some guy named Jeremy Lin.
12) I don’t think the Dodgers will trade Matt Kemp. Too valuable, and they are IN the window.
13) Headlines I love. “Dwight Howard loses shooting contest to own mascot.” Way to go, Snowball.
14) Look at Rajon Rondo’s reaction to reading the Celtics’ stat sheet.
15) Fran Tarkenton says he is the best QB EVER. Why don’t you go out for beers with Jim Kelly and figure out who is the best LOSING Super Bowl QB first, and then get back to us?
16) Pete Maravich isn’t really mad at the student. He is mad that he averaged 47 points per game WITHOUT a three point line. http://deadspin.com/heres-pete-maravich-giving-alabama-fans-the-double-bir-1468601760
17) I wanted to be a reporter, but didn’t expect to be at an ice rink. http://deadspin.com/minneapolis-reporter-live-from-scene-of-ice-rink-openi-1468404512
18) Our fridge is fixed. I am happy to move things from the college fridge, and my tapeworm is ready to feast.
19) My boss sent this to me because I have some version of OCD. Thanks, Katrina. The ones that bother me the most are: Gas, seatbelt, manhole, seconds sheet, bedcover, notebook paper, curtains. http://dunzo.net/30-infuriating-images-that-will-trigger-your-ocd/
20) Whenever you hear about Jay-Z and the Nets, can we remember he technically owns .067% of the team? The Russian is the DUDE.
21) In case you care, Livin’ On A Prayer entered the Billboard 100 this week after a 26 year absence. Something went viral, and I don’t care. I might have to bust that song out this weekend when out with my buddy, Kyle.
22) In case you care, Tom Brady could lose the next 15 games in a row, and STILL be ahead of Joe Montana for highest winning percentage since the 1970’s merger.
23) I just read that. I don’t care. I am a Montana guy until I die.
24) Except for Terry Bradshaw of course. I was stepping OUTSIDE the biased box.
25) When I was at Sancho’s, I was concerned about hearing what I SHOULD hear when I am in there. After this weekend, I was concerned. They changed the jukebox. All is good. I heard Eyes of the World, Touch of Grey, and my favorite Dead song of all time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugRct9pNQYM
26) I hope whoever clicked on that link knows the song is 15 minutes long.
27) Little known fact. Jack Del Rio, present interim coach of the Broncos, lived right behind Peyton Manning. Look it up.
28) I am slightly behind the pace I wanted. I need to pick it up.
29) Thanks to the aging gods. I will go out for my birthday in my customary backwards Steelers hat and be carded everywhere at 41. Boom goes the dynamite. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no
30) Watch that clip.
31) Hold on. That Sinatra Call of Duty commercial is on…
32) I am back. Ahmad Brooks was fined for his hit the other day. He should be. The guy is an idiot.
33) The refs support the hugging uncatchable call from Monday. Don’t they HAVE to do that.
34) Have I mentioned that Hubie Brown is a basketball genius. Thank you, ESPN. It is like a literature freak listening to Shakespeare reading his own stuff live.
35) The Yankees want Cano, but not at $300 mil. Who would? I think Ryan Howard and Albert Pujols taught EVERYONE a lesson. He might go to the Mets. Why not? They are desperate and have money.
36) Eric Dickerson says that A.P. needs a QB. Yup. Let’s close our eyes and imagine how many yards E.D. would have had WITH a good team.
37) Maybe that is why Viagra commercials don’t bother me anymore. E.D. is Eric freaking Dickerson, people.
38) Let’s close our eyes and imagine how many yards Sanders would have had with a good QB.
39) WR Miles Austin will be back this week for the Cowboys. Yup. I picked him up.
40) My team sucks though.
41) ABG bought the Ali brand rights. I would buy ANYTHING that was related to “Ali.”
42) Trent Richardson defended his play this week, saying his average was because teams played different against him. Way to give the NFL another reason to NOT draft RB’s high, bro. Dammit. I had Donald Brown TWICE on my FFL team this year. You suck.
43) Incognito evidently insulted someone’s ethnicity AND wife this week. What a class act that guy is. A guy who is big enough to have a job, but still an idiot. He is like the big version of JJ Reddick in the NBA…or a faster Adam Morrison.
44) Congrats to my boy, Kyle, for getting his email read on ESPN radio AND me hearing it while driving. Love it, Kyle. Adam Morrison and crying. Can’t go wrong.
45) Ronaldo scoring all four goals in Portugal qualifying is superhero-like, and we HAVE to have Portugal in the WC, don’t we? It just wouldn’t be right without them.
46) I have a million dollar idea. It is slightly better than the Tripod (shhh…Ben) per Lindsey, and more practical. I will call it the Frostzip.
47) Does Geno Smith really have a .7 QBR in his last 5 games and STILL have a 5-5 record. 1 TD. EIGHT TO’s.
48) In case you care, Duke’s Parker is averaging over 20 points a game in his first 4 games. Stud.
49) I still want to see Aaron Gordon play before I anoint anyone as the best freshman. Wiggins shutting down Parker defensively was masterful though.
50) Is Duke basketball suddenly up tempo AND athletic?
51) I would like to thank Kevin Durant, who told the media this week that Marcus Smart is NBA ready. I am awaiting the follow up comments that the sky is blue and the grass is green.
52) Kobe is scheduled for a November return. I have an idea. Why don’t you just tell us when you are returning WHEN you are actually coming back?
53) If you think Steve Nash will retire and still collect the next two years of his contract, then you are smoking crack.
54) That being said, the NFL is the only league doing things right. Too many exit strategies in the other sports.
55) I will sell seats on my couch for $20 to see the new Dwayne Wade sitcom sold to Fox. Since it was sold to Fox, we already know it is crap, and I should be paying YOU.
56) Tony Allen, stop kicking people in the face.
57) The PGA says no enhanced images showing ball movement will be used to change a score. Good. Let’s escalate the cheating baseball players, but leave the low key golfers alone.
58) Shame. A Boston HS had to cancel its football game because of racial graffiti on a player’s house. Grow up, people. I happened to be dating a black woman while racial strife was present in our high school. We were called the Oreo Cookie School. Sure, I got off easy, but everyone should be colorblind. Please. Go watch Crash or Remember the Titans and grow up.
59) That Japanese baseball player you are hearing about was 24-0 with a 1.27 ERA. He could be pitching Single A and that would still be impressive. Jump on the bandwagon. Just know I already have shotgun.
60) The US soccer team has looked so good that I am not even concerned they lost a friendly against Austria. Friendly. Austria. Don’t sweat it. You either, Logan.
61) I am caring less and less about the Dolphins and Richie Incognito. Daily.
62) I think, but not am sure, that the MLS has a new franchise in Oklahoma City. You better double check that hook when you are checking MLS updates tonight.
63) Bama lost its 2nd top 300 recruit in 3 days. One moved closer to home. They still have the #1 recruiting class. They are still presently #1 in the nation. Not sure why I am reporting this.
64) Will Allen says the Cowboys are micromanaged. He played FIVE games in Dallas, and as soon as you are done Googling who the hell he is, you can move on to the next hook.
65) I still find the guy eating three times the meat commercial funny by the basketball court.
66) Ben would like to add on to my OSU band hook from the other day. Here you go-straight from an Ohio guy and one of my favorite people out there. FYI – read your blog from yesterday. OSU actually did a really cool video game tribute last year too.
Also – check these couple out too. Crazy…
Hollywood Show – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNe0ZUD19EE
Disney Show – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfnzVVJQiTo
Beatles Show – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUUqah9bUM0
67) Lindsey is concerned about my “laptop time at night.” So am I, but I won’t let anyone else write this blog OR do my 65 hours of work a week I have to do.
68) Mexico qualified for the WC today. Hold on. Is that like FOUR hooks on soccer? I am on fire. It still won’t overtake the Bon Jovi theme that WILL happen, but still impressive.
69) For those of you who wonder how long it takes me to write this, I played piano. I type incredibly fast when I am blogging…kind of like playing the Beethoven Rocket Sonata.
70) Chandler Parsons should have gone mid first round. You can TRY to argue that, but you won’t win.
71) If the fighter can’t start a pre fight fight, let the trainer do it. Tony Roach started a fight between the Rios and Pacquiao teams the other day.
72) If he wasn’t already irritating, is he REALLY wearing CROCS? Lindsey knows my hate for him and passed this along to me.
73) I won’t get to the sign tonight, but will get to bed on time. The blog is more important, as Lindsey and I have a lot going on this weekend. She can watch me build signs because they are OURS, but watching me type…72 hooks…would be boring to her.
74) When we celebrate my bday early on Saturday, we apparently HAVE to be somewhere by 7pm. I won’t be sad or happy if it is not, but why wouldn’t I check the sports schedules FIRST. First guess? The Nuggets play at EXACTLY 7pm at HOME. Just saying. Make it more cryptic if I am right, babe.
75) The Eastbound and Down finale was DECENT, but not great. I wanted more from an abrasive show that was incredible and SO awesome.
76) Why does the Show “Believe” capitalize the letters “LIE?” The show sucks SO much more than 5 years ago from his other gig. You don’t have to highlight that I think it is now BS.
77) At least at the Nuggets game, they will have TV’s to watch the Baylor-Oklahoma State football game. That game will be awesome.
78) Lindsey looked into the YMCA. I found Candyland (boxing room). She hasn’t seen it yet. I can’t even GO into another gym after seeing Candyland. I am in a holding pattern and am very stubborn. I want to hit shit.
79) This is the funniest thing from my week. I CAN’T explain the link. When you hit it, if you are a guy, you will minimalize the screen but still read. AND, Deadspin will throw you for a deserved loop at the end. Lindsey asked me why I read it in the first place. I said that every NORMAL dude HAS to read this. Geez. I already told everyone I don’t own porns or drink coffee. I can at least show INTEREST in this article. I SHOULD. http://jezebel.com/the-deranged-sorority-girls-guide-to-your-first-double-1466941219?utm_source=recirculation&utm_medium=recirculation&utm_campaign=wednesdayPM
80) We need to keep moving. A guy tweeting about a couple’s breakup. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/18/kyle-ayers-roof-breakup-live-tweet_n_4295724.html
81) Moving. I respect this guy. And I now can’t WAIT to read the books AND watch the second movie. I think he copied and pasted my thoughts from the first movie. http://deadspin.com/killing-jennifer-lawrence-the-hunger-games-catching-f-1467416279
82) I tweeted this, but never blogged about it. UCLA’s LB Jack is scoring legal touchdowns. UCLA OT White is illegally touching down there. http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/eye-on-college-football/24249332/ucla-ot-torian-white-charged-with-sexual-assault-suspended-indefinitely
83) In case you care, France is the first soccer team to make the WC after losing the first playoff game 2-0. Boom, Logan.
84) Yes, Bob. You said “Boom” on a phone call this week. I promise you.
85) Lindsey gets confused because I sometimes write down daily tasks or grocery items on my blog list. I got questioned for “milk.”
86) I won’t laugh at fans at Jets-Bills games falling 300 feet in a stadium. I hold on to shit all the time at stadiums. I do an occasional 14’er too. So confused how an angry guy having a bad day doesn’t just nudge a person on a switchback where no one is around. No one would know.
87) If I was on defense, I would tackle someone by pulling their dreadlocks too. I would grab anything.
88) Oh, Wes Welker, don’t be “concussed.” You are still on both of my fantasy teams.
89) I still think that word was just created in the last two years.
90) Urban Meyer says the BCS system is flawed. Sounds like a guy with a weak non conference schedule, a guy coming off a penalty season, and a guy who just happens to have everyone of their friends in the conference on an off year. Be quiet.
91) Great, LeBron and Beckham are discussing MLS Miami plans. Geez. Is that like SIX soccer hooks? Wow. Too bad Bon Jovi is already locked in as the theme.
92) Thanks, Matt. Must suck to be a strong legged guy in THIS town. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/geneveith/2013/11/the-coach-who-never-punts/
93) My brother and I are both into physical fitness. Have been since very young age. This is where we separate. He has already pulled a tractor trailer, has a 300 LB tire in his backyard to move around for fun, and is trying to host his own strongman competition. Much love, bro. You got me into it, I liked breaking some of your swimming records, but you have truly taken physical fitness to another level.
94) If the name Vontaze Burfict either seems cool to say or is new to you, he was on pace to be a first round draft pick in the Pac-12 until he became an idiot off the field. He had 15 tackles this week, and also owns a very tiny dog.
95) The dog thing it true by the way.
96) Contribution from the lady. She usually wants me to make a joke rather than just post it, but I am in a rush. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/15/batkid-san-francisco_n_4283772.html
98) I think Bengals Michael Johnson should play well enough that we should not have to Google him before he tells fans to leave the stadium.
99) I think JPP should stop talking about spilling blood and just play the game. You guys aren’t ALL the way back.
100) I don’t know how it will happen, but that latest Sierra commercial has made me want to see the Hoover Damn. The problem is that it is so damn close to Vegas. It is an enigma wrapped in a puzzle.
101) The commercial where Ray Lewis is suiting up on the phone call watching a game is hilarious.
102) I am going to sleep tonight knowing I don’t care whether a ref cursed at Trent Williams or not.
103) A HS coach resigned this week after biting a player in the face. I know we are on hook #99, but read that sentence again…slowly.
104) Lindsey and I are saving money. We are going to her college town up the highway for Thanksgiving. I am excited. Fort Collins. I hear I need a new liver and a noseplug.
105) So, the Colts LB who obviously headbutted a player who didn’t have a helmet on was NOT kicked out of the game but WAS suspended for the next. How do you miss that? Lindsey was even asking me “how is that even not penalized?” No idea.
106) Ok. Four Deadspin links and we are done.
108) No DS, but they took it off the site. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/20/al-wakrah-stadium_n_4304637.html
111) HOLY SHIT. Rick Carlisle from Dallas just got interviewed after the half. He did three one line answers and said “that is my Pop improv.” Aside from listening to Hubie announce, that is the highlight of my night.
112) Sorry, babe. I will still have to do my list and work on sign tomorrow. Actually, I think you are doing something tomorrow also. Dammit. THAT is why I need a digital sign. It will tell me what is happening tomorrow and the next day.
113) That is it. Hope you enjoyed. I know I did. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.F