The Bird is the Word

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Let’s turn and burn.  On the clock, as this is my lunch break since I won’t have time tonight.


1)  From my brother, who was a trainer at the gym where Mike Trout used to workout at back in the day, so obviously a fan.  Pretty amazing stuff from however you view him.

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Trout, who has won three straight rookie-of-the-month awards, set a major league rookie record for home runs and tied a rookie record for runs in July.

After closing the month with a .353 average, 18 homers, 55 RBIs and 80 runs in 81 games, Trout joined Rickey Henderson (1985) as the only major league players to reach minimums of a .350 average, 15 homers and 30 stolen bases before August.

Trout is also the first rookie to score at least 80 runs and drive in 55 runs in 81 games since Joe DiMaggio did it in 1936.

2)  I was watching Olympic diving the other day.  I don’t care what round they were in, or how many divers started overall.  The top 18 advance?  It sounds like a very exact number, so I am sure it has relevance, but 18 is a LOT.  Give them one more dive in that round and cut it to 8 or something.

2a)  While watching the diving, I decided that everything but a belly or butt flop looks pretty damn good to me.  I guess my calling in life is not being a diving judge.  I can cross that one off my list.

For example, I could know THIS was a bad dive:

3)  The US team spanked Argentina in men’s basketball after leading by only one at halftime.  Alright, alright.  The Fillerbuster was wrong that they would lose one of those against them or Lithuania.  This actually makes me fear something worse.  I fear that they will drop one in the lose and you are out portion of this tournament.  Russia is the talk of the town, and they DO have length, but I still say it is Argentina or Spain if someone does it.

4)  While watching a homeless person getting picked up for being drunk on my street and most likely going to detox, Lindsey and I pondered where they send the bill.

5)  Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander took down the Yankees 7-2.  When I watch him pitch, I amazed how good he USED to be with two very speedy pitches.  Dude has perfected an off speed change up with the same motion over the last two years that has made him just literally NASTY.

7)  RANT SQUAD UPDATE: The Seahawks actually signed T.O. to a one year contract.  I am not an attorney on either side of that equation, but I bet you there was some really fun small print in that thing guarding them against him destroying the team.

8)  The Family Guy episode where Peter is obsessed with the song “Bird is the Word” is one of the funniest episodes from the franchise.  You got a minute or two?  Here you go.

9)  Gabby Douglas, days after capturing America’s heart, got LAST in her specialty event, the uneven bars.  All because of not fully tipping over the other way on a handstand, which I would suspect to totally jack up your routine.  That would make it inverted, leading to about 4 Top Gun jokes if I weren’t on the clock today.

10)  When it was announced that Angels pitcher Jered Weaver got his 15th win, I was wondering where my boy David Price was.  I guess the streak is over of me announcing David’s wins and him then winning.  The streak is done at 6 games.  He actually lost one in the middle of my “run,” but I didn’t say anything before the loss, so it doesn’t count.  My game, my rules.

11)  Usain Bolt wants a Man U tryout.  Why not?  I see you took a page from Chad Johnson’s book of tricks by the way.  Anyway, once again, you are the winning version of them.  Do it up.  We find it funny since you win in your actual specialty.

12)  In case you thought it was done and everyone can heal, it is not.  PSU trustees are vowing to sue the NCAA in a federal suit.  Sweet.  Can ESPN just make a SEPARATE website for things like Brett Favre retiring, Bonds and Clemens in court, and Penn State stuff?

13)  Australian hurdler Sally Pearson beat the entire US conglomerate in the 100 hurdles.  Congrats to her, and where has the US’s speed gone over the years?  Didn’t we used to just OWN everything in speed?

13a)  When the hell did it go from the 110m to 100 hurdles?  I am putting this in my FBS-Naming Enigma bucket.

13b)  The US boxing team did not get ONE medal.  Pure downslide.  Sure, they only got $440,000 in grant money for training as opposed to $1.1 mil in 2007, but there is no excuse for a total no-show.  In this catch-22 situation, we need better coaches and more money to win, but money will be hard to come by with this result.  Flow chart needed.

14)  Rex Ryan rips his Jets after their fight the other day in training camp.  I hear he is also upping his discipline in practice.  I won’t even try to steal this take, as it is solid and from one of my favorite professionals.  Greeney on Mike and Mike made the Costanza “Opposite” reference, and said this doesn’t work in the sports world.  I agree, Greeney, and Ryan going from a players’ coach to a disciplinarian won’t work…at ALL.  Let’s make a movie with good ole Rex?  “How to Lose Your Team in 10 Days.”

15)  900 people attend Andy Reid’s son’s funeral.  Great support for the coach, and a sad story all around for that family and organization.

16)  The US teams will face each other in the final for women’s beach volleyball.  Surprising, awesome, and I guess their Olympic/ country version of Venus and Serena meeting in a Grand Slam final.

17)  In the story that won’t die, it was announced that racer Allmendinger took Adderall.  Speaking of that OTHER ESPN site for these types of stories.  I won’t even go the whole “they aren’t athletes” direction.  I will just keep it simple.  Most of the population doesn’t care what drug it was.  Let this story fade away.

18)  Barry Bonds, missing the headlines, proclaimed that he has no doubt he will be in the Hall of Fame.  He then stormed out of the room from the media and got his head stuck in the door.  I hear it was kind of funny.

19)  HERE we go.  When you take a RB high in the draft, isn’t it supposed to be at LEAST until your second year before you make the team doubt the decision?  Ex-Bama stud Trent Richardson has a “sore knee.”

20)  Broncos Dumervil is off the hook for his road rage charge.  Good.  I want ALL of you punks on that field when my Steelers come to town.  Full strength, full sadness for them and the local fans.

21)  Time’s up.  3:01.  That is it.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

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