Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. You know what I figured out? Steelers have a bye. Lindsey is napping. I have a blog site and always have lots to say. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations. I was going to save this for tomorrow’s three hour flight to Atlanta, but why? I am sure I will have another sheet of paper before tomorrow to talk about.
2) Vince. AWESOME seeing you yesterday and thanks for the FB note. You are one of the most stand up people I know, one of the best salesman I have met, and the best manager I have worked under. I mean, you sold the first Fortune 10 or so from a company that was less than 50 people. BAD ass. Much love.
3) Kyle. You will be the theme. I almost rolled off the couch when hearing that the final line in the new AT&T kid commercials was “that’s adorable.” I think we paid it forward, because Kyle patented that line, AT&T. He needs royalties.
4) Lindsey doubted me that this Seattle-Indy game would not be stellar and then Seattle went up 12-0. It is 28-23 right not and riveting. She is napping. Not OU, not a care. OU? Life stops more than life stops for me during a Steelers game.
4a) Seriously. True.
5) Andrew Luck has a really, really loud voice.
6) Derrick Rose returned to action and scored 13 points. I mention this because the media seems to feel we need DAILY updates on anything Derrick Rose. I loved the guy, but am starting to hate the guy just because of the daily updates. I think I was the biggest lover and then hater of Rose and Johnny Football.
7) Like me, another guy doing well against Father Time. I feel like I can nap for ten years and still wake up and hear that Big Papi hit two home runs. Nice, bro.
8) You have never seen anything as idiotic as me being with Lindsey home alone last night and running around the room with my hands in the air after Ohio State won AND covered the spread on a last minute play. It was a pretend bet, but I am on the record publicly, so I am invested.
9) I think my Coke Zero had liquor in it when I took Kansas plus the points against Texas Tech when ranting on the ariplane.
10) BUT I went 4-2 in my pretend betting. Hayter, I even bet on YOU all. Clemson was easy. Miami was easy. DAMN I miss betting.
10a) Speaking of people I don’t like, and even taking in the perspective that I NEVER mention last names in my blog, how did you actually get that name, Pub on Penn owner? John DeJohn. Your parents didn’t even like you when you popped out. You are the definition of “redundant.” Geez.
10a) I still enjoy listening to side effects on medication commercials…”you are happier than ever, but you will have intestinal bleeding.”
11) For anyone saying that Georgia might not be good because they barely beat an unranked Tennessee at home, you are an idiot. Winning on the road in the SEC is no walk in the park, Kazanski. Why don’t you idiots talk shit once the SEC DOESN’T win the national championship?
12) Lindsey and I are losing to that Clown Question guy in fantasy. She is sad that we have about 60 points on the bench. I told her that I would rather have the problem of not starting the RIGHT players than just starting the players I have who happen to have on my team. Good problem to have.
13) I think golf is great, but I don’t even have the Presidents Cup as a freaking flipper. I will take any Major, the Tour Championship, the Amateur Championship, and the Ryder Cup as my top golfing events.
14) Vince, I am NOT a Bronco hater, BUT the Cowboys winning WOULD eliminate about a third of my losers pool. YOU understand. It is just about the money. Welker can score all the points he wants though.
15) I respectfully ask that we aren’t updated on Rob Gronkowski’s injury status until he is officially back in the lineup.
16) That white Audi in that Diesel commercial where everyone is freaking out about putting in diesel is SWEET.
17) I am happy for good things in life, like Minnesota’s coach being home for health issues. I still wish they would have covered the spread though, Cerk.
18) If anyone actually thought that Maryland football was different and good this year, Florida State reminded us what perennially good actually means. Stick to lacrosse and early 2000’s basketball, Maryland. Where IS Juan Dixon there days?
19) Indiana beat Penn State for the first time in history this week. Everyone in Indiana just figured out there is a football season before basketball season and Penn State is just laying low until we think Sandusky is just a town in Ohio.
20) SMU’s two point conversion was pretty dope.
21) Google “deadspin elephant volkswagen.”
22) Google “deadspin UVA.”
23) If you like lasagna as much as I do OR have a partner that can’t cook, google “deadspin lasagna.” Lindsey can cook like a champ, so she doesn’t need to read this article.
24) OU beat TCU. That is probably why I have my lady peacefully laying on the couch next to me rather than throwing stuff out our window.
25) Lindsey doesn’t do that, but I still don’t like to think about the things that COULD happen when Oklahoma loses.
26) Because this blog concentrates mainly on soccer, I would like to tell you that Clint Dempsey is off the US World Cup qualifying roster due to injury. OBVIOUSLY. We sure as hell won’t leave him off because of anything BUT injury.
27) Ponto, you are welcome for talking you out of trading away T.Y Hilton. Hope you STARTED him though this week.
27a) Is his first name really “T.Y.?”
28) He probably didn’t. He has the state disc golf championships this weekend. I hope he is tossing well or whatever they call it. I also hope that the ONE woman who entered isn’t beating herself playing against herself. Disc golf is still trying to pick up among females. The chick paid an entrance fee that is nothing compared to placing in the top five, which she will do since she is the only person in her group. Brilliant!
29) The Tennessee Titans have contacted JaMarcus Russell about playing QB. I don’t know about you, but I feel like the NFL is just so much better with Russell in the league. It is like Nebraska or Notre Dame being good in college. We hate them, but we need them.
30) Why did Seattle just take their final timeout of the game with 8:55 left down 1 point??????
31) Oh. And insult to injury, Luck just threw a TD on the next play. Colts up 8.
32) Gabbert and Joeckel were injured today. Please reference either “losers pool” or “tree falls in forest with no one around” for more details.
33) This is the End was a letdown. I THOUGHT I knew how funny it would be. THEN, everyone told me how much more funnier it was. Then, I had higher expectations. Then, I watched it. Just to let you know, it was EXACTLY how funny you thought it was BEFORE every idiot informed us was SO much funnier than that. Watchable, but no Princess Bride either.
34) Not like anything ever COULD be.
35) Floyd Mayweather visited the Miami Heat this weekend. Good match. They are both good, slightly irritating, win against everyone, and lacking an opponent for next year.
36) I had no drinks in me. I had to order a side for breakfast today. I still said Egg McMuffin. Congrats to McDonald’s for taking over all of our lives whether we admit it or not.
37) The bartender, Annie, then laughed and told me she ordered “McNuggets” from a bar the other night.
38) If the remote control is nearby even without my non existent Jedi powers, I still won’t watch one of those Viagra commercials from start to finish. I don’t want to hear about that shit. I am aging SLOWLY dammit.
39) Hey, Clown Question. You changed your name and are going to beat us. BUT, you don’t have the knowledge, writing ability, nor guts to put your so called knowledge out to the public. We still have a winning record, and you are still reading this blog. I win, and you are still friends with Kurt, meaning you lose anyway. You, Kurt, and Craig.
40) Is it just me, or do you wake up one day and suddenly your fingernails are LONG? How does that happen? I need to finish this blog so I can go cut my suddenly long fingernails.
41) Tell your friends. Andrew Luck, before today, tied John Elway for best record after 20 games…14-6.
42) Thought you would like that, Mom. My Mom loves John Elway like Big Ben liked college bars back in the day.
43) I guess even though Seattle got its first 4-0 start in team history, they probably have started 4-1 at some point over the years.
44) Cool that Klitschko won last night. Better that I just read an article that the brothers are so bored by the lack of talent in the heavyweight class that they will be running for office. Political. Good stuff. Maybe they can have another Rocky based on this. I am sure Sly IS having conversations at least.
45) I should not be left unattended in an Old Navy or Nautica store. Ever.
46) Is there ever going to be a spread this year that Baylor won’t cover?
47) Is there anyone funnier on TV or movies than Kenny Powers? Seriously. Start the debate. I laugh SEEING him in anything (he was in This is the End). East Bound? Dude is like the 2000’s version of Dennis Leary.
48) If Bourne ANYTHING is on, it is a flipper. Given in a geometry proof. Boom goes the dynamite.
49) Bourne would win theme for today if it wasn’t for my boy, Kyle, and people being adorable.
50) Do you NOW know who Stephen Vogt is? I didn’t. A’s walkoff, and another reason I should never turn off a sporting event. Let’s make Moneyball II.
51) I thought that since I am losing to Clown Question, and since Kramer from Seinfeld hates clowns, that I should mention that not only is SC’s Clowney out of the Heisman race, but Spurrier and him are mad at each other.
52) A monster truck competition killed 8 people and injured EIGHTY people in Mexico. Not surprised it didn’t happen at all. Just surprised it didn’t happen EARLIER. At least we are killing the weak links of society…no offense to anyone who attends one of those things. Actually, I guess it is. BUT, it was cool in the late 80’s. Our collars were still turned up. Anyone STILL attending them is a loser.
53) Adam Schefter is funny. He made a Twitter joke about Donte Whitner not being able to change his name to “Hitner” because of the government shutdown.
54) I would like to go have beers with Brad Kesolowski and Kyle Busch someday. That is me making a NASCAR joke about how they don’t get along.
54a) If you are a new reader, understand I focus on non World Cup soccer and NASCAR in this blog. Deal with it.
55) Calvin Johnson is sitting this week. Why can’t I play THAT fantasy idiot this week?
56) You are not an idiot for having him on his team. You are an idiot if you chose him in the first round.
57) Djokovic beat Nadal even though Nadal is now #1. I need a flowchart to tell you how I feel about this. Not a lam. We don’t care, Djokovic.
58) Stanford beat Washington 31-28. This tells me more about Washington than it does about Stanford. We know Stanford is good. Washington we are now accepting is MAYBE good. Nice game.
59) I don’t follow F1 racing. I learned something today though. Some guy named Sebastian Vettel is about to win his FOURTH straight title. Someone update me on Rugby and Polo and my day is complete. This guy is like Tom Brady. Except for for he races.
60) That is it. Cleared the list, heading for Atlanta tomorrow, and going to watch everyone BE at a game in TX but still watch the big screen. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
61) You suck, fantasy football Clown Question.
62) Tomorrow I am on an airplane. Of COURSE I will blog.
62a) I am signing off with the Broncos down 14. Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Vince. Just want to have a lot of people eliminated from my corporately sponsored losers pool.