Tears? Yes. Puppies don’t solve anything. Hooch was the endgame.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock big time.  Evening rant.  Speed version.  I need to give my co-blogger deadlines.  HIS “tonight” is different than MY tonight.  All good.  He is writing about dunks and ASG stuff, so I will post his tomorrow night.  BUT, I need to post SOMETHING, and I don’t think he gets that.  I will put him on a plan.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1)       Greetings and salutations, people.  This is the definition of “speed version.”  Expected a post from my boy.  Let down, and would like to log off and head to bed, where my lady already is.  Oh well, it is what it is, and that is why I am a blogging machine, for better or worse.  Let’s cruise through this.  For new readers, this is as fast as this much information will ever get relayed.  Tune in another time for more in depth stuff.  OR, read tomorrow’s where my co-blogger, Socrates, evidently has to dwell on a topic for 4 days before writing like 7 paragraphs.  They are good, but I have a schedule to keep.

2)      If only I could get Hubie Brown to do overtime like Bill Walton evidently does.  I believe we are getting Bill Walton three nights in a row.  Hubie is beauty.  Bill is a train wreck.  Both are fun to listen to.  I plan on getting my lady just tipsy enough to want to listen to 5 minutes of him tomorrow night after VDAY stuff.  I came home to him last night, and I am listening to him now.

3)      Shit.  Speed version.  Bill Walton makes me talk a lot.

4)      My fraternity brother and best friend Scott text me a little too early about wanting UVA to be the ones to knock off the Cuse.  Right before that last second shot.

5)      Duke-UNC postponed.  If only they could delay the Robocop movie…

6)      Yes, speed version.

7)      Clowney says that college athletes should be paid.  Fans say they should be paid if they play 100% for the year before the draft.

8)      Speaking of Clowney, he says he is running a 4.4 and will at the combine.  I hope his interview is a LOT longer.

9)      Companies are lining up for Sam.  I have no joke that is clean.  It was just on my list.  I almost had a great Jason Collins combo joke, but it didn’t happen.

10)   The Saints cut $17 mil in cap space.  Onside kicks after halftime don’t work in economics.

11)   I have no idea what that last hook meant.

12)   Lindsey is listening to Bill Walton talk and I think finally starting to realize how much of an idiot he is and why I like it.

13)   I am tired of talking about the Pelicans mascot.  Actually, I don’t “talk” about him.  I guess I just “hear” about him.  I am tired of it regardless.

14)   Congrats to all US athletes in Sochi.  This is speed version.  Enjoy watching them on delay and this is not an Olympic blog.  I don’t have the time.

15)   I love Lindsey’s friend, John.  Wisconsin guy, which means he is used to ALMOST being really good in sports for his teams.  Missed playing pool last night with him and Linds, but I have my weekly rules.  I don’t go out during the week.  I left after Steuben’s and felt really sharp today.

15a)  Plus, I had to go pick up Eleanor after her “repair.”  Well, we are two 3 mile rides without a stall, so let’s treat this like Fight Club-we won’t talk about it.

16)   AWESOME article.  Warroads, MN and hockey.  Cerk, I know you only occasionally read this, but good to know the heritage you come from.  We didn’t have a hockey team at my high school.  Google it.  You will love it.

17)   When is Ennis going to show signs that he is a freshman.  He is getting calls from our VP of the COUNTRY, and the guy looks like nails.  Even BEFORE that last second shot.

18)   Yes, LeBron, nice shot at the buzzer.  Yes, Erik, nice NO TIMEOUT.  You are a genius.

19)   I first thought Chris Paul had 56 points on his own, but then re-read the headline.  I don’t care if Griffin and Paul had 56 points combined.  That should be normal.

20)   I am excited for the ASG.  I just realized that Lindsey won’t have to deal with me watching it as I will be in Princeton.  Lucky her.  In don’t think she knows that.

21)   Ed Reed had $50k stolen while driving from one bank to another.  FROM HIS PASSENGER SEAT.  Must be nice to walk in a bank and leave $50k on the seat.  I leave sunglasses on the seat, have someone sit one them, and get pissed.

22)   I actually don’t wear sunglasses, but it sounded good in that hook.

23)   The Lions cut Burleson for cap space.  NO ONE pick him up, so I don’t draft him as my 5th WR in fantasy.  Rounders.  Sucker.  Yada yada yada.

24)   Danica takes the high road.  Petty is being a dick.  SOMEONE engage.  Or, you could just win one, Danica.  Something has to give.

25)   An Italian soccer club has denied their 17 year old player is actually 41 years old.  Go to my Twitter account to see the pic.  I think he is 41.

26)   We got to watch a puppy for a couple hours tonight as Lindsey’s rents breed pure bred pups.  Do they make dog nannies?  I want a dog, but I want him to only love Linds and me.  Dammit.  I don’t know where I was going there.  I just love dogs and cry during Turner and Hooch (really) and Eight Below (also really).

27)   I see that Mike Gundy has gone off on Twitter with the whole slow down rules.  Watch it.  He is a man.  See Twitter account for my post.  Sorry.  In a rush.

28)   Tony Stewart’s leg is at 65%.  I think that pressing the brake and accelerator, that is all you need, right?

29)   The US will host a WC warmup against Mexico in April.  I am a WC guy.  That excites me at about the 3% level.

30)   The US waxed Slovakia 7-1 in hockey today.  Just let me know when they play one of the real teams.  I want to destroy Russia and will pray when they play Canada.

31)   I follow my competitors (work) on Twitter because I am addicted to Twitter.  One of my competitors is actually following me back.  I hope they enjoy all of the Bill Walton tweets.

32)   I don’t have time to get into NBA trade rumors, but I am reading about them.  I LOVE hypothetical trades this time of year.

33)   That Japanese skater got over a 100 on his round/ phase/ whatever they have.  I assume getting over 100 is good, but just guessing here.

34)   What is wrong with American speedskating so far?  I am saying that because I read it, not because I am already blaming the suits.  I am coming clean.

35)   Hey, Texas, you haven’t had a good QB in years.  Max Willek is visiting.  You should get him college hookers and stuff.  Trust me.  You need a ticket seller, and he is it.

36)   That is it.  Mr. Royal MIGHT have an NBA ASG post tomorrow.  I will have to put him on a tighter leash.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

36a)  And I didn’t even crack on the Abbott skating fall.  Baby steps.  I am proud.

36b)  Actually, I sacrificed TWICE today.  I was in the kitchen and there was client leftover sandwiches.  Let the record show that not only did I have only one sandwich on my first round, but I gave the other sandwich to Rocco on my return trip.  If it was pizza, Rocco would have gotten nothing, but I GAVE today.  It feels good.

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