Stop it. Seriously, just stop it.

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Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Day/ finished at night rant.  Speed version, as I have a LOT of items on this legal pad next to me.  Let’s turn and burn.

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1)       Greetings and salutations, all.  Thanks for joining me, and thanks to James Bond (going with the Casino Royale reference for today) for covering.  I am SWAMPED at work the last two days.  Makes it tough to blog when you work 60 hours a week minimally.  Let’s get through this list quickly.  I think I lose more time picking my favorites than just cruising through all of them.

1a)  I had to correct my boss today.  I said I didn’t have time to blog today.  She said “Yay.  More selling time.”  I said “Blogging doesn’t interrupt my selling time.  I interrupts me trying to have a normal life outside of the 60 hours of work and the mythological lunch hour I have heard about in my years at my job.”

2)      Do you hear that sound?  You can’t?  That’s because it is tennis silence.  No big upsets thus far.  I don’t consider an aging Venus Williams an upset, and big guy Isner retiring from a match isn’t really news either.  The weather is the story, and my favorite was someone’s plastic water bottle melting when she set it down.  Sorry, tennis.  Moving on.

3)      I can’t BELIEVE UVA had the nerve of coming back after the game went like I expected it against Duke, and THEN blowing it in the final seconds.  Like John McEnroe once said, if you are going to miss, miss big.  Don’t paint the line.  I almost wish you all would have just lost by 10 instead of giving me a heart attack.

4)      Just kidding.  Glad they fought back.  Sort of.

5)      If you didn’t catch it, Brent Musburger introduced him and his fellow announcer before the Iowa State-Kansas game, and said “hey, I got it right this time.”  The BCS title game was a MISTAKE…not planned.

6)      Blacklist was solid.  It was basically the “in case you all don’t actually believe that James Spader IS a badass, here you go” episode.  A bunch of kicking ass.

7)      THIS is how you psyche out your grade school wrestling opponents.

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8)      I have a feeling it is a little easier for the Broncos to not let in 2000 mile away Pats fans than it is for the Seahawks to not allow in down the coast neighbors San Fran folks.  Just ballparking that though.  Go San Fran.  Use those Washington aunts and uncles.

9)      You don’t have to listen to the whole thing, but the first minute or so has a pretty sick story about Adrian Peterson’s athletic prowess.  I don’t think Stoops is lying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=su5TiEpxag8&feature=share

10)   If you like deviled eggs and like potato salad, and haven’t tried the combination, you are missing out.  They sell them at grocery stores.  You can find it.  Lindsey did.

11)   Not only did Wichita State win again, but Wisconsin lost the trap game at Indiana (which I predicted on Twitter mind you), so #4 here we come in the rankings next week.

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12)   Yes.  We.  Wichita State and me.  WE.

13)   Someone tell Indiana fans to not storm the floor.  You CAN’T storm the floor when you have been there, done that.  Cody Zeller apologizes for not making it more recent to you kids, but you HAVE been there…in STYLE.

14)   I still like the song Stacy’s Mom.  I actually still LOVE it.

15)   I feel bad for Clark the new Cubs mascot.  He is so adorable.  And people are lashing out.  He doesn’t exactly look like a mean mascot who hasn’t won a World Series in a billion years, but he is adorable.  Leave him and Cubs fans alone.

16)   Just cash in player of the year for college this year.  The fact that Doug McDermott is averaging 25 and 7 when he has less of a supporting cast from last year is simply ridiculous.  Everyone and their mom knows who the ball is going to.  RIDICULOUS.  Dude is a STUD.

17)   The Lions get Jim Caldwell.  Before the Lions fans get all pissed off at the lack of glamour of the hire, let’s keep this in mind.  Jim Caldwell has been a coach on a playoff game winning team more than the entire history of the Lions franchise.

18)   I am not a FB guy, but I wish I would get “poked” whenever RGIII posts anymore anti-critic posts.

19)   Syracuse is looking at a retractable roof, multi-sport stadium.  Since they already play basketball in a stadium environment, they might as well.  Jerry Jones is already making phone calls to see if he needs to build another stadium.  He has to have SOMETHING, right, since his team can’t win anything?

20)   Manning’s Omaha.  Nice that the city tweeted him.  STUPID that a company from Omaha thinks he will accept an offer to say it more.  That is why you all are Omaha.  He sure as HELL isn’t going to do anything before the AFC Championship.  NFL rules.  Concentration on his own plays without thinking of sponsors.  Just watch the damn game, tweet thank you again, root for that now very par football team, and go tip some freaking cows.

21)   I have decided to toss the mega conference flow chart I built a few years ago with all of the teams changing conferences, and start an OC-DC flowchart for football.  LOTS of lateral moves this year.  I can’t keep track.

22)   I think I am less impressed that the UCONN women snapped Baylor’s 69 game winning streak and more impressed they held that Baylor chick to only 20 points or so.  The chick was averaging 32.  Odyssey Sims.  Good job, Geno.

23)   I would recommend 1 part Bacon Provolone tomato sauce and 2 parts Ragu cheese sauce if you are going to replicate my 90 second tasty simple spaghetti.

24)   Rondo tweeted he would return Friday although no one on the Celtics seems to know this.  Social freaking media.

25)   Speaking of the Celtics, they were involved in a 3 team trade with 2 contenders…so they should feel special.  Joel Anthony should be happy with his two rings with LeBron and company where he really didn’t have to do much.  At least he got another White House trip out of it.

26)   For any idiot not thinking the Golden State Warriors were the best shooting backcourt in the league, they now in this trade add Jordan Crawford.  They are more successful version of Houston.  Snipers galore.

27)   HEADLINE:  “New driver has Mickelson excited about 2014.”  If you sub in Suh or Puig, that sentence still works.

28)   I don’t even know what to say about the judge rejecting $765 million for the whole concussion case.  Yup.  There is not enough money in the world to get through on this one.

29)   In case between midseason last year in college basketball and now, you forgot who he was, Nerlens Noel is projected to be back for the 76ers after the ASG.  He will be an inside presence.  Probably more on the Tyson Chandler realm of the world as opposed to some scoring machine, but he WILL be a presence.

30)   No Deadspin hooks today.  Just take 5 minutes and go to http://deadspin.com/ The one thing about that site is that it is ALWAYS funny, so there is no risk in sending you there on a “bad day.”

31)    How many people in the big city have died from an icicle falling from a tall building?  Just curious.

32)   Florida QB Tyler Murphy is transferring to Boston College.  Well, it is another transfer out of the football power’s wheel house, it is not about the winning, and it definitely is NOT about the weather.

33)   How come I feel like at SOME point President Obama and Mario Chalmers HAVE to play a one on one game?  Poor kid.  Taking shit because the guy is the Pres.

34)   I know that the media is digging hard when I found out that Harbaugh recruited Carroll’s son at some other job way back when.  Thanks for THAT gem, people.

35)   It is Wednesday, which is one day after Tuesday.  Why am I telling you this?  Because another day has gone by and another Browns coaching candidate has withdrawn their name.  Forget being the pretty or ugly girl at the dance.  The Browns are straight up Carrie.  I would put another picture but Logan doesn’t like photos during his work week readings.

36)   HEADLINE WE ARE NOT SURPRISED ABOUT AT ALL:  “Brees willing to restructure contract for Saints.”  What a simply SWELL guy.

37)   Someone tell the Texans GM that no matter how much he LAUDS players in the draft, we know shit is smoke and mirrors.

38)   LeBron is jealous of Kevin Durant’s shot attempts.  Well THAT is reaching deep into the holster, King James.  You are becoming the WINNING version of Snowball in the way I swear you just release random statements to the media when you are lonely.

39)   Anyone else notice the Nuggets are oddly a definitive 0-2 against the lowly Jazz?

40)   I know we ALL are going to lose sleep about Maryland counter suing the NBA, but use white noise, use NyQuil if you need to, and take deep breaths outside of that.  Good luck.

41)   East Coast bias.  People on the East Coast are reading about a kid being named USA Male Athlete of the Year in basketball, and at the same time Googling who the hell Aaron Gordon is.

42)   Today I like Bud Selig.  He is even SO tired of A-Rod that he decides to tell us about his 30 park retirement tour.  Stop messing with the playoffs and get the hell out of the way.  Let the Philly fans know when you are making THEIR stop so you can get a proper greeting.

43)   Ex- UNC G PJ Hairston is now in D League, and will be a FABULOUS trivia question about 15 years from now.

44)   Arkansas beat Kentucky last night.  Those kids from Kentucky are going to be the HARDEST team to pick come March.  I know I just said this the other day, but this game solidifies that notion.

45)   In case you care, pouring Sriracha on the pasta salad I have been eating as is for about 10 years works FANTASTICALLY.  Pasta, Basalmic Vinaigrette, grated parmesan, shredded cheese, pepperoni, and now…Sriracha.  Some ideas I have no idea why it takes me so long to figure out…especially when the ingredients are RIGHT THERE.

46)   Vikings fans are tweeting all of their elated thoughts as they celebrate the hire of Mike Zimmer as their new head coach.  Maybe they wanted a bigger name, or maybe they are just scared because he helped with the Bengals failure this season.

47)   Of course, THEY failed in the playoffs, so that is an improvement.

48)   I sit back and think how Serena Williams is going to lose the Aussie Open and I can’t think of a reason today.

49)   Noted.  Marc Gasol came back and they beat the Thunder.  Ok.  So, they played one night like we expected them to.  We shall see.  They have too much talent to remain where they are at for the entire season.

50)   Tom Brady missed a practice due to sickness evidently.  Knowing Belichick, he built an indoor football field at a secret location and they were running drills in there.

51)   And like JR Smith during games, I am out and I will go take a more comfortable seat.  That is it.  Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

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