Still got the skills, but short game was weak. Still the greatest game of all time. And I can still beat A.N.Y.O.N.E.

July 4, 2015 Filler

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock. Not an airplane rant. SPECIAL afternoon rant as I didn’t plan on doing it. Semi-speed version. Let’s turn and burn.

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Greetings and salutations, people. Special edition holiday rant. Lindsey will probably not like me taking two hours of our Sunday tomorrow, everyone is taking a nap, I personally don’t take naps, so why not clear this freaking list? I like my time. I really like my time.
If you have ever seen a sad Golden Retriever, let me know.
We have decided to get a Newfoundland-Golden mix as our dog. October 1. Well, as ONE of our dogs. I still want a Jack Russell, a wolf, an African Boerbel, a husky, and…well, that is probably enough.
Why does the Droid do everything but NOT have a flashlight on it, and how do our fancy phones not have that basic function on them?
If you care, while everyone else is sleeping, I am jamming to Panic and Maroon 5.
If you have been to Avon, then you know Bob’s. It is the only place you go to for drinks and I plan on going there again today.
Hi, Bob. Going to your place (co-worker who reads my blog).
Yes, I was 20 feet from where the grounded fireworks happened at the Avon show. I just seem to lure in that weird shit. Love it. It was so cool once I knew no one died. I just want to die in a cool way-everything else is just “extra.”
I was about ten feet to the left of this photo. It was awesome. Awesome now that I know that no one died.
It may or may not be true that I thought the show was so awesome because they made it “interactive” and may or may not have said that to my future wife.
She still loves my unbelievably. Actually, let’s take a step back. How does ANYONE accept every part of me? Maybe I need to rethink this because she does and is so perfect.
Not as cool as THIS guy. THANK you, Scott, for the best present of ALL time.
That is sarcastic. Still not sure why someone would love me, but she does. Love you, babe.
I am listening to this SICK song right now. Satriani-Engines of Creation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yE25jUWZEo
Vail is a town that is so Colorado-y.
I try to fit in.
Aldridge is going to the Spurs. If you combine the absolute failure of the Knicks and Lakers (sorry, Lopez), it will add to the same amount of success the Spurs just had. Listen, rebuilding and reloading are similar terms but totally different. The Spurs just rebuilt that definition.
I don’t know how that math added up, but I was just saying the Lakers and Knicks have sucked and have lost their old school luster.
Coincidentally, Duncan also announced he is coming back. Those guys are going to be dirty next year.
But beware of the even numbered year, Tim.
That 72 game record would be in jeopardy if they were in the East.
Suddenly, the Cavs spending seems kind of useless and random.
I like when sub par players like Sheldon Richardson get busted for cheating with PED’s. Seriously, who cares?
Knicks get Lopez-actually not a bad pickup considering one of their needs was “serviceable center.”
I am curious to see how not only Monta Ellis PLAYS with Paul George but gets ALONG with him. Hell of a player, but not sure he is a guy who is groomed to win. I think he just wants to get his money and stats.
Hey, Cowboys, signing questionable players is cool and taking over the Raiders lock at this spot is cool, so McClain getting a 4 game suspension I assume did not wake anyone up at night.
I now who Duke Ihenacho is and I will say to him that capitalism pays people what the market pays, so either get better so I don’t have to Google or shut the hell up.
Steph Curry is the SIXTH highest paid player…on his OWN team.
Carroll is the highest paid player on HIS team.
Hire his agent YESTERDAY.
I won’t look up the stats because they are sick and wrong, but Rafa may or may not have lost FOUR straight years at Wimbledon to a plus 100 rated player.
I am sorry, Zenmaster. I forgot you ALSO signed Aaron Afflalo. My bad. Spectacular pickup.
Actually, he is not bad, but still funny for THAT franchise.
I love my country, I love country soccer, I say “go USA,” but might NOT watch the Japan-USA match tomorrow.
I read a WHOLE article on them the other day while in the bathroom.
It is kind of like me watching any single WNBA game.
So, during this holiday season, someone tell me how many Royals got in the starting lineup for the MLB ASG. I may or may not care.
What I DO care about is saying HAPPY TRAILS to a class act guy like St. Louis who is retiring. One of the fastest skaters in his time, he has a title (2004), and I will research whether we can say ANYTHING negative about him.
I am lost with major sports being at an interim, but am curious when WSOP lost air time-use to seeing it when my remote just GOES to channel 206.
Readers know this is the best movie of all time in my opinion. If you haven’t seen it, sign off, no worries, and let me know how you LOVED it.
I seriously am lost until college football.
When the hell does college football start?
Is anyone a hugger? I am. Please call me. We can go rafting in a mountain town and then hug until college football starts.
Don’t badmouth me, baseball people. I know more stats than the greatest self proclaimed stat baseball guy, will take anyone on, and have depressed many people during this process. It is ok. As I said, I am a hugger.
I am playing music on my phone while I write this-in case you curious, the last five songs have been Sugar, Regulators, Kashmir, Don’t Treat me Bad (Good luck finding that one), and Porch Song.
You should listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMkdPefQmIw
I went to the Urban Slide, and so did many, many other people.
I find it odd that I now I have a black cat and my favorite song by Panic is Pilgrims, which starts out with “black cat.” Special Sirius version because I am a special blogger. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxQ33N2qbw
Some WSP pics that may or may not support why I have seen them 109 times.
Yes, 109 times watching the SAME band.
I am sad my colleagues Marty and Rob don’t read this. They find me funny, know I pour my heart in this thing, but are too uppity or SOMETHING to click on the link. SO…..let’s make fun of them since they don’t’ read it.
Rob, we call Ralph. The reason is because he overthinks everything. If you said “get in this van and let’s go to a concert two states over,” he would literally judge geography, timing, clothing, etc. He is this guy from Breakfast Club. Hard worker and great dude that I would want on my side ANY time. But kind of funny. This is him.
Marty is harder. Anyone would be jealous of how things roll of his back. I am. He is cool, making it THAT much better when he gets frustrated, which is not often. When he does, it is incredible. He breaks me down, is calm beyond what we all hope to be, and is dry in humor as I have been on my best day. Great dude. And he likes this bar as well as I. I actually can’t tell you. I could, but then I would have to kill you.
Yes, I went to the Urban Slide, because it was a public thing that involved water. I love water and have a tattoo to support it. I am better in water than on land, and if I end up getting eaten by a shark (very cool), I will put up a great fight.
Yes, I am Paul Rudd AND Ant Man. No friends, and don’t give a SHIT.
I can’t wait to move into our new work building, so I can get a dog and therefore stop showing you these Jackson pics as I will be a dog guy again.
So, I guess this is our family photo. #1
#2
Let’s get the facts straight. Pilgrims, Love Tractor, Hatfield. Final rankings until I change my mind tomorrow.
Everyone is awake now and quite frankly it is irritating. No more Mark time. My fiancee is genius. JUST when I was getting irritated and had handed over the keys to the music, she plays Billy Joel. What an incredible woman. The rest of her family is different (mom is absolutely DOPE), but every family is weird, right?
I am finishing my blog up while listening to Billy Joel that I didn’t play. Wow. Not only is my lady magnificent, not only am I open about the fact that I am an idiot, but I have one thing over most of you. An incredible woman loves me and also loves Billy Joel. What are the freaking chances of THAT?
I told two people how I proposed this weekend and one person cried and the other gave me a hug. Jackson’s Square. Most favorite location for me outside of a beach BEFORE I met my lady.
Seriously, I am enjoying getting this blog out, but naps are for pansies.
(On editing, they are all awake now-ugghhh).
Diddy got away with a misdemeanor, and I am sure his probably very cocky son is very glad and is drinking some Kettle One right now.
There are THREE jokes in that last hook. Go back and read. Don’t skim like my fiancée does.
Lindsey and I are drilling down on wedding shit. For you all who know you are invited (from my side, all 20 of you), April 30^th. We are arguing over Turks and Jamaica. She wanted 2 weeks. I have it down to 10 days (I can’t not work for that long). I also won not going to Europe for a honeymoon. Slow battles. Don’t tell her this, but I want wedding in Turks and honeymoon in Jamaica…or vice versa. I still want the waterslides, but apparently that might not be part of the deal.
Lindsey just heard Jack and Diane and said “I didn’t realize Rick Springfield had that many hits.” Age stuff. Hah.
It is going to SUCK that my family can’t come though. That is why (she doesn’t know this) why I want a shorter ceremony/ party.
And it is also because I can’t stop working for that long. I can’t stop working or blogging for ONE freaking day.
I am like a software selling useless doctor on call all the time.
I just love working. I am a machine.
Still of the Night by Whitesnake is on right now, I have won MANY karaoke contests singing it, and it just might be the greatest song of all time.
Of and of course, we know the other part of this story (NOT John Sykes).
And today, I WON’T go into my John Sykes monologue, but I was close.
He started Blue Murder, and I am pretty sure I am the only person who has their CD’s.
John Sykes is the one in the middle. I love that guy more than you and your closest 100 friends.
I want excitement during free agency, but kind of glad Dwyane Wade stayed with the Heat. Not exactly Wade Boggs like, but close. It only took 10 years and three championships for me to figure out how to spell his name.
I had the Baconator fries from Wendy’s. They won’t rock your boat. Go to Arby’s instead and look at the seven choices of sauces. It feels like an Arby’s night.
High five. Yay.
The Beatles are on right now on editing. I put them in the same group as Mozart. I recognize their brilliance, but prefer not to listen to them.
Not like the Eagles. I hate everything about them and respect nothing about them except that I saw Joe Walsh play live outiside of Woodstock 1994.
Thank you, Solantro’s in Vail, for the glasses, the cup holders, the free drink card, and for just being very non cocky Vail like bar.
I went to Shakedown the other night. Saw a band named Dyrty Byrd’s. Thought I had seen them before live, but wasn’t sure. But, I now know what Todd Hanson does when he is bored. When not playing WSP drums, he hangs out with these guys. Incredible show.
Kind of like a mini Belly Up. If you don’t know either place, then stop reading this and go to a show. Geez.
Keyboardist is SICK from Dyrty Byrds. Or as I say, DIIIIRRRTTTYY.
Not sure what is going on when you download my blog to mobile, but I have my best people working on it (lie), and just expand the region. Ok?
Lindsey’s brother just stopped by (only other person not sleeping right now). He is cool. We go from us realizing us having the exact same kind of humor, to him making age cracks, to me thinking that he is a punk, to us just loving each other and making second level jokes that no one understands. I love Drew. I would take a bullet for him.
Playing Payphone again. Don’t judge me. I might be Adam without the voice, the talent, the looks, and the background.
Holy shit. That is my number SIX guy on man crush list? Wow. My list is crammed up. Damon, JT, Walberg, Tom Brady…and I forget #5 but I assume he is very hot.
Vail is expensive in general, Vendetta is not easier on the wallet, I love Italian food, we went there, and THANK you for having 3.50 Tiger cans and $5 Cuervo’s. Did two of both of course.
LIndsey just remembered who #5 was. Ed Norton. Sorry, bro. Brad Pitt was also thrown out there, but that guy is weak.
Except for Legends of the Fall.
#7.
Age difference. Lindsey and I were watching a guy at Red Lion in Vail playing the song “Mad World.” I said I love Tears for Fears. She said this is by Gary Jules or someone. I sat there, held her hand, and told her it was Tears for Fears. We made it through the argument. She is oddly more curious about Tears for Fears now. Weird.
I hung out with another guy who went to Woodstock 1994 last night. Things were great. He lost to a guy on the pool table who HAD to play singles. “Take him down, Mark.” Two bank shots and one curved shot around two balls on the 8 ball shot later, another notch in my belt.
Whoever reads this blog…DON’T play me for pool. Just stop. It is useless. I am that good, and if you are that good, we will put money on the table, I will beat you, and then we will hug after. Stop the noise.
I played GTee today. The ball was messed up, so no scores to report. Sounds bitter? But I am that good, and YOU can’t beat me. I still have it though. Long shots were locked on, and touch shots were a plus 1.5 ratio. Still could beat anyone, but kind of sloppy. Nice to play though. Shot a 225 on Silver Strike though. Not bad, and only 25 down from my hustling days.
Yes, you can hustle losers on GTee and Silver Strike.
This is the ultimate bar seat (during Dyrty Byrds). Wall on left. Bar on right. End of bar behind me. I wouldn’t have to talk to ANYONE besides the bartender.
I am getting rushed out of this blog due to dinner. I will post the perfect bar seat another day.
Thanks, Arthur.
Bartender.
Serena escaped today, but why are we looking for dominance? Serena finds a way. Bottom line, and she knows it, so she adjusts for it already.
There are MANY levels on that joke. Try to keep up.
Someone is rolling him eyes that I don’t know about tennis. Here is the deal. Give me a call and I can kick your ass or we can just talk through every Grand Slam winner on the men’s or women’s side for the last 40 years. I am down with either, but probably would rather hit you in the crotch with a wide bodied Wilson Pro Staff forehand that made me one of the best doubles tennis players in NJ in 1991.
Yes, I know I am cocky. Not liked, and good at most things. It sucks.
Switched to Joe Satriani “Engines of Creation.” Pretty smoking song.
I plan on learning guitar in the next two months and being cocky about that also. Maybe I will just play my Roland and guitar at the same time.
David West is out there and MIGHT still go to Spurs? Is this cancelled because of Aldridge? I need a freaking intern.
MAD PROPS to Becky Hammon coaching the NBA summer league team for the Spurs, glad someone is leading the charge, and boo to anyone in this entire world who judges people on gender, race, or religion. Every time I think of all of my bad faults, I realize that I am one of the most transparent people anyone can meet and can laugh at most people’s internal wrong attitudes..
I just thought of the song I want to hear. David Lee Roth. Damn Good. You have probably never heard it. Give it a listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mIP7ySBXBg
Lindsey’s mom pronounces gondola “gon DOL a” and it is hilarious.
Lindsey’s mom is cooler than me, you, your ten best friends, your families, COMBINED. Let it go.
Steve, her husband, is a different matter. He is the bomb, knows I like sports, and awkwardly just starts a one on one conversation with me about OU football. Good start, and yes, I know my stuff, Steve, but I also had a 1250 on the SAT, went to UVA, and graduated Calculus 4. I have other things I can talk with you about.
Actually, screw that. I specialize in acting like I am dumb so random people conversations are shorter and therefore eliminates me hating people, so let’s just keep going with “let’s talk to mark about sport or mac and cheese.” I will just be smarter than people in private.
Good job, active people, but how can I NOT ride up the Vail gondola for less than $30 when I just want to ride up, enjoy the view, do a shot at the mountaintop bar, and then come back down?
When I am done with this and when everyone wakes up, I am going to the rooftop hot tub, which might be one of the most 10×10 Colorado-y areas I have ever seen.
Doing Skyscraper too. Apparently in a David Lee Roth mood.
It may or may not be true that I attended a classical music concert last night and uttered ten times either “Mozart sucks” or “Mozart is overrated.” Listen, I understand genius. The first is not true, and I firmly believe the second one IS. Give me in my alley Liszt, Chopin, Beethoven, and Rachmaninoff in my corner ANY day of the week.
People are all around me and now I can’t concentrate. No more pics and I am out. Ugghhh.
Thank you, Mom and Dad. You were school teachers supporting a kid who wanted to be the best at everything.
But, I actually WAS one of the best at one of those things (piano).
This Damn Good song is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.
By the way, Vail had Beethoven a week before and Rachmaninoff the week after. In the best way possible, I got screwed.
I am thinking about the pool shot at Bob’s, I am that good, and I remember just going up , sticking my pool cue straight in the air, winking at my opponent, and making it. I seriously am that good. Thanks, Mom, again for YOUR father taking me to a bar at 12 years old and running the table. Boom goes the dynamite.
I saw a bus driver “on break” sitting in his bus seat. How is that possible, and I am sure Handy would have gone OFF on this idea.
Bob’s Place (next blog).
I will post pics of the Game Zone next blog. I went up and started having fun and forgot to take pics.
Greg Anthony will announce summer league games and I truly do miss him. But, is someone making a BOOK of the jokes before he comes back?
For people living in a vacuum, he got busted with a hooker.
So, I was at a place in Vail and they had BLACK toilets and urinals. WHY have we not incorporated this? I get healthy and white and bright colors for tooth brushes, but I would like a stealthy toilets NOT showing shit and grime on them. Just saying.
Tell me Lindsey’s brother doesn’t look lik a cartoon.
I know classical music, but when they have THAT much vibrato, I am confused what key they are in.
Joey Chestnut LOST????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Lindsey’s sister, Avery, asked where the other guy was. I told her he was like me. He was talented, but had no friends, was a dick, and is in the other league no one cares about.
I am VERY surprised that Tobias didn’t take advantage of his “guy who will MOST overpaid this year” and NOT sign with the Magic.
Yes, Joe, I realize that Cousins and Rondo played at Kentucky. Joe is master of the obvious, thinks he knows more than he does, and sits around and comments on my Twitter tweets in case I am slightly off. Once again, If you are not paid to do sports, I know more than you. You are pretty much a punk to me. Next?
Dempsey is not our captain anymore? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT? Can I watch the games with the decision makers?
It is one thing to be Bryce, but it is another thing to do it off Bumgarner.
For the guy who sings a theme song whenever I pass by him (and the best sales person at our company), I will say this. If you come up to me in the next five business days and say “11,” I will buy you a lunch (some of these people just want to see me theme).
Say “11” in the next five days, and we will go to lunch on my dime (which is ironic considering he sold the most amount of dollars in a month I remember since being at the company).
Article on the Steelers defense. Who is the most feared Steeler defender? Not bad for a 37 year old.
It is true that we couldn’t hear the background music at brunch and I said “Hold on-I think I hear the Thompson Twins.”
I was right by the way, and it is an AWESOME song.
I wish Mexican restaurants would tell me two things: !) do you have corn in your rice? 2) Are beans just inferred?
I only like corn when it is on the cob oddly, and beans just look horrible.
I would like my final meal to be lasagna, mac and cheese, prosciutto, and Easy Cheese.
Joseph, if you are reading this, I am sorry my brother and I fight and I love you very much.
I don’t hate Journey. I just hate Don’t Stop Believing. Try being a bartender for 14 years on karaoke night and not hate it.
That’s it. NOW I won’t talk to you tomorrow. Load off my mind. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro.
Hope you enjoyed. People woke up and I am beyond irritated. LOVE blogging privately. Anyway, hope your Fourth was good. Peace. Talk to you soon.