Stan the Caddy…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Too much work to do (at it is NIGHT time).  Let’s turn and burn.

1)       I am an baller, will root for the Nuggets, and therefore will watch the games.  I have it on in the background right now as I write this blog.  It is peaceful, as I have to watch the Denver games on mute for the most part to avoid Scott Hastings idiotic play calling, homer analysis, and irritating voice.

2)      UCI is asking for help in choosing their “Lance Armstrong inquiry team.”  There’s MORE????  Ughhh.

3)      I hear the Arizona Diamondbacks are trying to find a trade partner for Justin Upton.  I can usually figure out what the long range plan is for a team with the pattern of their moves.  For the last five years, I am still confused whether the Diamondbacks are trying to win now, win later, reloading, or just trying to keep us on our toes.

4)      Rumor is the NHL sides are meeting again soon.  At least we know this is not a “secret” meeting this time.  What ever happened during that broadcasted “secret” meeting over the weekend by the way?

5)      This is not a political column.  FAR from it.  Therefore, although I had a few minor jokes to talk about during my election coverage watching night, I will not go there.  You get enough of that on mainstream stations.  What I WILL say is that I almost had a heart attack when they were interviewing an Obama volunteer, and the girl was asked who she would be hoping would be on the ballot after Obama’s second term.  She said “Oprah?”  I will move.  Immediately.  I almost just threw up.

6)      Danny Granger is out for the Pacers for about 3 months due to injury.  Shame.  Not in the long run.  These guys can play.  I just hope that with all of the talent that team has, that the hole they dig early in his absence isn’t TOO big that they land a 6,7, or 8 seed and have to be playing at other teams’ cribs in the playoffs.

7)      Rex Ryan actually made a funny joke when referring to the poll conducted among NFL players about which coaches were the most overrated.  He said he had finally beaten Bill Belichick at something.  They went #1 and #2.  Hey, Rex.  That is actually kind of funny, and almost makes you sound like a good guy.  You are tricky.

8)      Some of the Colts players shaved their head (including Mr. Great Guy Andrew Luck (that guy is SO likable)) for their cancer fighting coach, Chuck Pagano.  I talk about it every rant.  This is one of the best stories in sports for the year.  I assume they will keep them shaved also.  That shit must feel weird in the helmet when it grows back with a little head stubble.

9)      They are looking at Cowboys Stadium for the upcoming super fight between Georges St. Pierre and Anderson Silva.  Let’s not put the cart in front of the horse.  Let’s make sure St. Pierre clears his final hurdle first before discussing venues.  Hey, Jerry, you have enough jinxes going on with your Cowboys squad.  Why don’t YOU worry about them first?

10)   Oh, that is right.  You will ALWAYS be the Cowboys GM and owner per you.  Job security already set.

11)   Bad day today.  My computer “broke,” and after a day of getting it back to functional and not doing needed tasks because it was reimaged, I come out to WHAT?  My newly fixed car pulling a fast one on me and stalling in the middle of the street.  Eleanor, meet Mr. Tow Truck.  Mr. Tow Truck, meet Eleanor.

12)   Joakim Noah tried a last second three pointer when his team had sealed the deal to get the fans free Big Macs for scoring more than 100 points.  He got reprimanded.  I am on the other side of the fence on this one.  It is early season, he could TELL the other team why he was still gunning, he is an idiot anyway so we would write it off, and McDonald’s is really, really good.  Cut him some slack.  Maybe we should compliment him for having his head IN the game.

13)   I always say that FoxSports Jason Whitlock sometimes writes something idiotic and sometimes something spot on.  He was spot on today.  I look on paper, I watch some games, and evidently we both agree that the Falcons, no matter what their record, don’t have the full artillery to get them a ring.  Not buying in on this one yet.

14)   Celtic beat Barcelona in Champions League.  That is evidently big news, and that is why the Fillerbuster is reporting it.  Tell your friends, and sleep easier tonight.

15)   Because I had to leave my car at work tonight, it made me think of the Seinfeld where because George is leaving his car at work because he locked his keys in it, and everyone thinks he is the first one in and the last to leave (of course, once he figures this out, he goes on vacation).  It escalates of course when birds crap on it and flyers are put in the doors and on the windows, and is a hilarious episode all around.  The Caddy is the episode if you feel like catching some clips of it.  Here is one:

16)   Bears CB Charles Tillman might sit out this weekend’s game for the arrival of his fourth child with his wife.  I would say, Charles, that she knows the drill by now, but we have to understand that his wife had a couple health problems after the last child’s birth, so he should be there to make sure it is uneventful.  Plus, if I am that kid 15 years from now, I wouldn’t want to get slighted during my birth just because I had some kids come before me in line.

17)   The Chargers got fined 20k for their sticky towel incident.  That is IT?  Isn’t this for the entire organization as opposed to just one person?  They should have come down harder than that.

18)   The passing of the marijuana bills in Washington and Colorado won’t have an effect on NFL drug policies.  So, if you mulling over another legal problem, DJ Williams, this means you.  Tell all of the people on the street in Denver also, who somehow thought that because it passed, it was immediately legal.  Lindsey went to the Nuggets game last night and said people looked like they were about to light up RIGHT when the news broke (they already do that here and there anyway out here).

19)   Aaron Rodgers “didn’t like” the editing on his 60 Minutes interview.  Thanks for the info.  Most of us who are NFL fans aren’t watching 60 Minutes anyway (always tired from a long day of football watching), and you have enough problems going on in your football world to be worried about editing…like getting home field in any game if you make the playoffs.

20)   Shaun White has settled his arrest out of court.  I guess the phone was happy to just get the cash.  LOTS of international and phone sex calls now.

21)   The scheduled, contracted Big 12/ SEC final game will be played in the Sugar Bowl it has been decided.  I am glad we are moving towards a playoff, and glad these guys were all organized about orchestrating this game, but is anyone else on the bandwagon with me that before this whole thing gets clearer, that it will get more confusing for a year or two FIRST.  Yup.

22)   Andy Reid has said to the media that “they can turn it around.”  Last ten years.  Copy.  Paste.  Copy.  Paste.

23)   At work, people are growing mustaches as a movement to fight cancer.  Anyway, this one tall guy, Baxter, has a crazy one coming in.  Looks like a porn star, so my other colleague and I came up with a porn name for him in about 2.5 seconds.  Bangsta Johnson.

24)   Organized.  And a lot richer if they get away with it.

25)   Did you hear about this golfer named Blayne Barber?  Dude penalized himself a stroke on a hole, signed the card, and found out he made the cut to possibly get a PGA Tour card.  Then, he rereads the rules on leaves I guess, and calls them back and tells them that he misunderstood the rule and that it should have been TWO strokes.  He is now OUT.  Wow, there are some crazy honesty/ golf stories.  I love it.  I play golf the same way.  I usually get 8’s on the holes, but I am always straight up with how I get the score.

26)   That is it.  With the whole computer breakdown, I have work to do at home tonight.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  I will sure as hell try with my busy schedule tomorrow.  Hope you enjoyed.  Peace.

26a)  Oh, and I said I wouldn’t mention politics, but this is funny.  Romney spent Election Day in PA, a state that he lost, and Obama played basketball with Scottie Pippen and friends.  Awesome.




















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