Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Evening rant. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, all. Thanks for joining me. Night alone as Lindsey is out for the night, and hoping the second upcoming NBA game has Hubie Brown announcing, as the college bball schedule unfortunately is light tonight. I am excited to see the Suns play from start to finish though, as I haven’t yet. I can watch the proof that Jeff Hornacek already has Coach of the Year locked UP.
2) Hey, JR Smith. Untying other player’s shoelaces is a cute trick…if you play for the Harlem Globetrotters and not an NBA team. He has succeeded once, tried again unsuccessfully, been fined $50k, and I just saw a headline that the Knicks are shopping him for trades. If the presently hapless Knicks are shopping someone who is instant offense, there is a huge problem.
3) How does that read by the way? “Shopping low IQ, no college sharpshooter who doesn’t understand what an assist is and finds new and creative ways to wreck teams.”
4) I eyed up the people who were with Rodman in North Korea. Vin Baker is there and that is all I need to know. Vin is kind of the almost successful bigger version of JR Smith. Not sure what a decent guy like Doug Christie is doing there. He got tricked. Hope Rodman doesn’t get them ALL locked up, but if he does, there is a reality show READY TO GO.
5) If you have NOT seen the FULL Dennis Rodman rant, take time for a Google search and three minutes of your day. I finally watched the full one today. It is scary, disturbing, and worth the time. And we thought he was playing with ¾ of a deck before.
6) Ray Allen might make a He Got Game sequel. I am totally down. Spike Lee and him are tossing around ideas these days. The first one is worth it people, and for you non basketball people, it has Denzel Washington in it too. Also worth the time.
7) Watching the end of the Spurs game. They just showed the Alamo and River Walk. Hey, I have been there. Yay. I was on a work trip and literally walked up to the Alamo with my co-worker as we only had about an hour to kill, pulled the Big Ben, Parliament from National Lampoon’s, and we left.
7a) Can we just start calling the Spurs the United Nations?
7b) WHY did the Bulls not resign Marco Belinelli???
8) I feel like the Dolphins just parted ways with coordinators and GM’s a couple years ago. Not totally sure.
9) Ok, ok. Ohio State gave Michigan State a run AT East Lansing. I get it. They are pretty good. Michigan State lost focus when 17 points up with 7 minutes left, Appling definitely had a bad wheel, and I am just I am able to write this after Michigan State won in overtime. I am sticking with my thoughts before the game. Michigan State is a Final Four team. Ohio State is a Sweet Sixteen team. Aaron Craft might personally get them to the Elite Eight, but that is about it.
10) A new sideline reporter was doing the game, and I thought she was going to lose her shit with Tom Izzo’s look of death at the halftime interview. Later, Izzo showed his frustration more by grabbing a player in the huddle. I don’t think this is a big deal. I would want my kid to play for Izzo ANY day of the week, I am sure coach and player are tight, and he was just trying to get them out of the haze they were in during the comeback by Ohio State.
11) We all knew Gary Kubiak would get interviewed for a job after being fired by the Texans. He is young, a good football mind, and just had some bad luck. I WILL say this. If he gets hired by the Lions and wastes THAT loaded roster, he will have problems getting another non coordinator gig.
12) Johnny Manziel announced what we all knew. He is going pro. Now, we get to find out how much of an idiot he is going to be with LOTS of money. I have already sent a Rant Squad scout to track him. True story. Anyway, I have seen him as high as #3 and low as #10. Be ready, areas of Jacksonville, Cleveland, Minnesota, or Oakland. Dude can ball though. I will give him that. A year after telling everyone how much the shit he WAS, I am amazed I am a present hater.
13) In that same mock draft, I was happy to see the Steelers might go Dennard from Michigan State. Perfect. The kid is a cornerback, but give him a year under Troy Polamalu before totally unleashing him. I feel like their last shutdown corner was Rod Woodson. I think I might be right. Like it.
14) Hide the motorcycles and staffers. Petrino and Louisville are back together. This is proof that a BRILLIANT football mind can override any past wrongdoings.
15) My colleague, Baxter, said something that got me thinking about a new trend. His copyright of course, but I might start saying the words “whelmed” and “funct” and use them in sentences. Think about it. If there is a defunct and overwhelm, how can those words not exist?
16) Don Mattingly got a three year extension with the Dodgers. Like it. He did a hell of a job getting them to come back like they did, had injuries early in the season, and how the hell can Donny Baseball NOT be a manager or SOMETHING?
17) It has been so long since FSU football was at the top, that they even got the wrong score on all of their t-shirts on their online store. Mind you that Deadspin found this tidbit first. http://extramustard.si.com/2014/01/07/florida-state-t-shirt/
18) Dennis Allen will remain Oakland’s coach. I think that franchise needs SOME type of continuity, I think he did a decent job with a horrible team, and my only problem is that the Raiders were one of three teams that jacked up the Steelers season.
19) Something about Aaron Hernandez/ double homicide…blah blah blah…Let’s just make a whole separate website with A-Rod updates, Hernandez updates, and Rose rehab updates. It will clean up the wire.
20) Roger Goodell. PLEASE stop talking about expanding the NFL playoffs. IF you can’t do THAT, then at least shut your freaking face until AFTER these exciting PLAYOFFS. GEEZ.
21) Kevin Durant is so good that his 48 points wasn’t on the ESPN, Fox Sports, or CNNSI wire this morning. Ho-hum. 48 points.
22) Chris Johnson says the Titans are wasting his prime. Mr. I will rush for 2000 yards every year won’t take a pay cut all about me all about the Benjamins not about winning…person. Be quiet.
23) DAMMIT. No Hubie Brown for the second game. I hope they don’t expect me to stay up for the THIRD game to hear him. He is older. He should get to DO the earlier games. Damn you, ESPN. And WHERE is my Mag?
24) Logan. I am toying around with copying and pasting my rant TWICE. The first will be without pictures and be the “work version,” while the second will be the same thing with really fun pictures throughout. This covers my new trend and your need to read this at work. I am trying to please everyone, sir.
25) We are at the 8th of the month and you will notice there is no Hunger Games theme. Listen. The style of this rant came from a specific part of my life that has evolved into a sports blog, is a sport version similar to a couple Machiavelli books I love, and I just don’t have the time. I WISH I could organize themes, best of, etc. I can’t I work too much. I am sure there is no one reading this WAITING for that Hunger Game theme, so this is neither here nor there. Just saying. That is why this is an unorganized rant.
26) Sometimes I have to listen to my 80’s glam rock at work because Lindsey can’t stand the stuff. Today, I listened to not mainstream hits by artists we know. Wings of the Storm-Whitesnake (with Steve Vai) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmuVkjajt3Q Breaking the Chains-Dokken http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DETUV4tCHMc Down Incognito-Winger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o9eFj4dhZc House of Broken Love-Great White http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z08UGJ_r_j8 And my favorite. Back on the Streets-John Norum (both Europe and Whitesnake guitarist) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhV7DEmLgMY
27) Alleged but not proven rapes, motorcycles, or just being an idiot sometimes, thanks to Art Rooney II for saying he wants Big Ben to retire a Steeler and plans on re-upping him shortly. I hope it isn’t similar to the 81-83 Bradshaw years, but he has done enough for us to retire there.
28) My happiness that no brainers Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux were inducted into the MLB Hall of Fame is only tempered by my sadness that Jack Morris failed on his last shot. At least I know that jackass who DIDN’T vote for Maddux DID vote for Morris, so I can’t be mad at him for TWO reasons.
29) Ridiculous Morris isn’t in.
30) In case you didn’t think Deadspin is loved by everyone, check THIS out. A Hall of Fame voter GAVE his vote to Deadspin, which then posted the players and went with the top ten players. Bad. Ass. http://deadspin.com/revealed-the-hall-of-fame-voter-who-turned-his-ballot-1496558341
31) Josh McDaniels is pulling out of the Browns interviewing process. They must have a REALLY bad team in his eyes if he is walking away from total control again. At least you don’t have to worry about a Tim Tebow QB comeback in your town, Cleveland peeps.
32) Yasiel Puig evidently asked to be let go during that traffic stop. No. I wouldn’t have guessed. Actually, I am amazed the story is THAT boring. I hope Puig knows that I have had a Rant Squad scout on his tail since mid season this past year. I might actually find out something about him before the multitude of Deadspin people out there.
33) That is it. I would like to go enjoy a quiet night watching this basketball game. As I said, it is Suns research along with me trying to figure out how the Timberwolves are at about .500.
34) Dammit. Lindsey is not here and the TV says that I can’t watch the game because we are about to record two shows. Damn. I guess we are not recording The Soup, which I personally LOVE. Maybe that is why we haven’t watched that recently. Maybe I am deleting that each time to watch a game. I need to learn the rules of this Direct TV after 15 years of Comcast. ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.