Paging Garth Martini…

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Work break/ sanity check/ 30 minutes.  As Tone Loc once said, let’s do it.

I feel the need…the need for speed.

TWITTER: @fillerbuster11

1)       The Jets are exploring trade possibilities for Mark Sanchez.  Good luck with THIS one, guys.  As if you couldn’t get more dysfunctional.  You are exploring trade possibilities from a bad team where HE couldn’t make it through the season as a first string, with a QB that you overpaid by a lot his NEXT year of a contract, and everyone and their mother knows you are desperate.  I am very interested to see what you pull from this one.  I got an idea.  Go out with the Cardinals GM, get him drunk, and give him ANOTHER QB is just below starting level tier.  They LOVE those guys.  You will be golden.

2)      It is a little early in the healing process to make a dramatic point in an idiotic way.  These people are going to give kids heart attacks.

3)      Watching two of the youngest college basketball teams in the nation with top tier talent play last night was fun.  North Carolina and Texas.  North Carolina needs to recruit some more pure shooters.  They have athletes galore, but I don’t see the stroke in most of their shots that I should see.  I feel like most of them were averaging 30 a game in high school by dunking over people.  Texas?  We watched a win and a loss at the SAME time.  They won a game against a dangerous opponent, and then found out literally DURING the game that their diaper dandy, Myck Kabongo got nixed for the season for NCAA rule violations.  Brutal.

4)      I would like to thank MMA fighter Ronda Rousey.  I am not selling out and just showing almost nude photos just to get blog traffic, but she IS sports related, and that doesn’t mean I won’t show another picture of her before the end of this rant.  My stats went WAY up after that post.

5)      Big Ben apologizes for the friction with Todd Haley.  That had to KILL him to do it publicly.  I say just audible everything, Ben.  I hate Todd’s offense too.

6)      Not yet, kid.  At least, not at THAT school.  Rick Pitino beat down his son in coaching when Louisville whipped up on FIU.  Do, well, Richard, get to a better school, and THEN try.  FIU ain’t going to cut it against Louisville.

7)      Speaking of MMA, I hear the MMA fighter who broke his penis during sex wants to SELL those photos.  I didn’t even like HEARING about it, I sure as hell didn’t like reading about it, I wouldn’t have taken photos of the thing to give me bad memories, and I sure don’t want to see YOUR photos of YOUR boy broken.  I just got uncomfortable WRITING that paragraph.  Moving on.  Ugghhh.

8)      Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly was voted coach of the year.  Works for me.  Moving as the season was for PSU I can’t give O’Brien (Penn State) that much due for an award when this Kelly’s squad that was preseason ranked in the 20’s is now in the championship game.  Enjoy the award-I think your magical squad gets whipped in less than a month.

9)      If anyone cares, SF QB Alex Smith, demoted to back up duty, needs 7 passes to qualify in attempts for season long passer rankings.  If you still care, he would clock in at 70% completions (less than 2% off the all time record), and a 104.1 rating.  And he sits on the pine.  Scary.

10)   Tebow is disappointed about McElroy starting over him this week, effectively skipping his #2 status.  What is the good news?  Now that he is disappointed, when something happens that is good, I guess he will truly be…excited.

11)   Great article in ESPN Mag about whether Eli Manning deserves to be in the HOF or not.  On one side, you have mediocre regular seasons, and the fact that he is effectively one gutsy pass to Tyree and one perfect pass to Manningham…from being no one special.  On the other side, he has more rings than his bro, Marino, etc.

12)   Kevin Durant just had a measly 41 as OKC won their 12th straight.  Nothing to worry about.  Just doing their thing.

13)   Drew Brees is confident that Sean Payton will return to the Saints.  Sean Payton will be able to do whatever he wants.  With the wheels falling off the Saints bandwagon for the most part the moment he steps aside, he looks like a freaking coaching GENIUS.  I don’t think he will be able to tolerate Jerry Jones.  I think he might come back to N.O. also.  But there is that thing called money that could sway him.

14)   Rings true with me.  Jeff Bingham (Patrick Warburton and forever Puddy in my world) from Rules of Engagement was laying on the bed with his wife as they watched his homemade mousetrap wait for a mouse to enter.  His wife said it was interesting he used Cheerios instead of cheese.  His reply?  “It is pretty simple.  I ate all the cheese.”

15)   Florida signed a semi famous high school QB the other day.  Will Grier.  Don’t know him?  Yes, you do.  He is “that kid who earlier this year threw for 837 yards and 10 TD’s”…in one game.

16)   Sometimes you hear a name you wouldn’t mind having.  I am all good with mine, but my colleague talked yesterday on the phone with a guy named “Garth Martini.”  That is freaking SMOOTH.

17)   Soccer star Lionel Messi signed with his team until 2018.  I guess you can sign an older guy to longer contracts when a sport just fakes injuries, rather than actually get them.

18)   Tosh.0 ramped up the type of show he does, but I still watch The Soup and feel like I am watching Yoda while Tosh is Luke…as far as playing useless videos and making fun of them anyway.

19)   I have thought about it.  I think Josh Brent should be allowed on the Cowboys sideline during games.  He is in trouble, and they aren’t exactly carrying him around on their shoulders, and the FAMILY of the deceased wants him around, so I think the team should be cool with it.

20)   South Carolina defensive lineman Jadeveon Clowney says he is eyeing the Heisman next year.  I got an idea, Jadeveon.  Why don’t we discuss your hopes and dreams AFTER the freaking PRESENT season is over?  Cool?

21)   Finally, I sit next to a guy named Ponto.  Ponto is the President of his disc golf team.  He is very serious about disc golf, and too big to poke a lot of fun at.  The drama in my cubicle area is that Ponto had his disc golf basket stolen from him on a course.  THEN, the guy goes on Craig’s List and tries to sell it.  Do you think the guy stole it just to steal something and feed his stealing hunger, and then said what the HELL am I going to do with THIS?

22)  Screw it.  I am posting another one.  Ronda Rousey, everyone.  She could whip you.

23)   That is it.  Back to work.  Hope you enjoyed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

%d bloggers like this: