Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Speed version. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Thanks for joining me. I am in Oklahoma City today in my whirlwind work tour of the great state of Oklahoma (not sure if that is sarcastic yet-tell you after the trip). Typically, this would be an airplane rant. But, not only did the seat fill up next to me with a freaking “talker,” but it was a short flight, and I thought sleeping was the most effective way to dodge the inquisitive talker. So, this is a WHIRLWIND/ BLITZKREIG rant. Lots on the paper, but not spending all day in my hotel room either.
2) Actually, it is a good plan for the moment, because it is disgustingly hot outside. Sweat just starts coming down two minutes after exiting hotel. Speed version. Here we go.
3) In case you care what happened today at the Nadal Open, Mr. Nadal gave up a TOTAL of four games in the win today. MACHINE.
4) I would like to rename the Heat-Spurs series the “if Tony Parker is healthy” series. THAT is the fact that makes this a great series, or just a competitive one. Spurs in 7, people. They have more depth this year, more maturity, AND home court advantage. The Heat just can’t win. I will go insane.
5) I missed the bulletin, but DAMN glad they are doing 2-2-1-1-1 instead of that 2-3-2 crap.
6) I have said whoever wins the Kings-Blackhawks series WILL beat the Rangers. I have not budged on that, although I will be rooting for the whole Martin St. Louis thing for sure.
7) Larry Bird says he wants Stephenson to return as a Pacer. We don’t believe you, Larry.
8) Shame Sloane Stephens bit it at the French Open. Our new American hope hasn’t made that next jump we are expecting ANY day now.
9) I now own a toolbox. For those who know me, that is downright scary. A drill AND a toolbox? Someone run outside and see if we are missing a meteor shower.
10) Of course I will never be Power Tool Guy from our building, who is constantly doing SOMETHING with saws and other machines, and kind of messing up the peace and quiet of our street.
11) The Clippers sold for $2 billion. Someone remind me about those owners who aren’t making any money again?
12) He is breaking records by chumps like Mickey Mantle. Edwin Encarnacion is apparently the real deal. Got a feeling they are upping the drug testing with that guy too. A very SUDDEN increase in power.
13) I think we all will lose out when Pop retires. His interviews are priceless. The local Denver station made a good one when comparing it to that SNL skit with Frank Sinatra and the dude from 2 Live Crew back in the day. Hilarious.
14) Thanks to my brother for passing along all of his expert advice in fitness. Dude knows everything there is to know. I am back being “me” these days and working out like a fiend. Extremely HIGH reps to build the foundation after time away. I am doing it, and my strength is now getting closer to old days.
15) I have said it before, and I will say it again. Hockey players are the highest quality interview. Even when they are missing a few teeth up front, they still are thoughtful and classy in comparison to other sports.
16) I am tired of the record breaking spelling bee story.
17) Rory sure is playing well since that breakup with Caroline. Of course, Bubba Watson showed us again that he is simply the best combination of guts, strength, and finesse we have seen on a golf course since….Tiger was good.
18) Stephen A Smith doing that beef jerky commercial is getting a little irritating. And I like the guy. What you put in is what you get out is the line I believe? On this….ummm….nevermind. I have a feeling that road wouldn’t be a good choice. Moving on.
19) The speed I type while blogging is unbelievable in comparison to my normal speed.
20) Bill Simmons needs to get off the tube. He is my favorite writer out there, but the camera needs to move on with him.
21) Life of Pi is simply an AMAZING movie. Stop reading this and go watch it if you haven’t seen it.
22) I would like to ask that we limit Frank Vogel and Stephenson stories until AFTER the finals. Let me enjoy please, and THEN you can start the rumors.
23) I went to the chalk art festival in downtown Denver this weekend. Never been. Will definitely go again next year. I have a million photos I took which I will post, but today isn’t that day.
24) The Red Sox-Rays rivalry is suddenly more interesting than the Yankees-Red Sox one.
25) I hung out twice at a gay bar with Lindsey and her friends this weekend. I had a blast. Stronger drinks, better specials, fun music…What is not to like.
26) We were called “straighties” while we were there.
27) The bartender’s name was Silas, and I have to admit I am jealous of that name. So gladiator like or something.
28) On another stop during the weekend, I found out another gay bar, Hamburger Mary’s, has this HUGE back patio I never knew existed. Once again. Stronger drinks, cheaper specials, and now a back patio. I am down with that.
29) Downtown the other day, a guy was perusing beads and said to the guy selling them “do you have anything that has skulls and crossbones on it so I can look edgy and dangerous?
30) Federer is out of the French. This basically means only Ferrer and Djokovic have a shot at beating the man.
31) Ok. I am skipping things on my list. Got to get this thing OUT.
32) John Elway’s son was busted this weekend for assault. I don’t care how it breaks down. The son can’t be getting into trouble in THIS town. The horse is not a very happy man.
33) If something ever happened in front of me and I was questioned by the police, I would suck. There is a reason that the career path of a detective didn’t fit me.
34) The US won versus Turkey in a friendly. I hate the term friendly, and am more concerned about how Altidore hasn’t scored like in years.
35) So, you could fall asleep like Rip Van Winkle and just assume when you woke up that Jimmy Johnson was still winning NASCAR races.
36) Scott Brooks is “not fretting” over his job status. Well, while you are saving that precious time not fretting, perhaps you could actually design an offense that LOOKED like an offense.
37) I don’t eat sweets, but that cookie dough ice cream IS a slight weakness of mine.
38) We went to La Fondue for dinner, took our leftovers including a full steak and baked potato, and I admit to being a little too tired after drinking and accidentally leaving ALL of our leftovers out overnight. Whoops. Sorry, Lindsey.
39) So, this just gets better. You might take the road that you feel sorry for Josh Gordon getting busted for drugs because it was JUST pot. Well, driving around with your buddy who is carrying 200g is probably asking for it a little I would say.
40) For the fact that this is an above average size city, I sure see my ex-coworker Scott a LOT around town. I would give you a call, buddy, but I assume I will just see you in a few weeks walking down some random road.
41) I am excited to see the movie Jersey Boys.
42) I am writing a blog, meaning I will remind you yet again that that Tanaka guy apparently is the real deal. Yes, people will adjust after the All Star Break, but I am thinking his nasty stuff isn’t really easy to adjust to. 8-1, 2.06 ERA, .95 WHIP. Boom goes the dynamite.
43) Have you ever met SAD looking Golden Retriever?
44) There was a guy at a restaurant decked out I Rockies gear looking AWAY from the television. That is just weird to me. Either leave the gear at home, or watch the game.
45) I don’t know why it irritates me to have the shrimp tails of a dish still on, but it does.
46) Geez, I have some random thoughts on this list. So, here is the speed version of them as I have stuff to do. I have funny Walgreens photos to share and comment on, but that will be another time. I am going to see a symphony do Led Zeppelin next weekend and I have a feeling it is going to be dope. I thought there were a lot more sex scenes in the beginning of Gia. I think I was younger when I watched it, and the one girl-girl sex scene multiplied in my mind by 20. Enemy of the State is perhaps one of best movies not enough people have seen. UTFO Roxanne I would rank top 3 all time personally for great rap songs. I need to tell whoever cuts my hair to not talk to me and just let me sleep.
47) Finally, I think that if the Spurs win this series, it would be BEYOND cool for Ginobli and Duncan to literally announce at the post game interview they are retiring. Gangsta.
48) That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.