Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Let’s turn and burn.
Quick hitter. Twenty minute style.
1) The USA basketball team beat Spain today in its last exhibition before things get real. Sure, they won by twenty or so, and sure, they are pretty freaking good. I STILL don’t like their frontcourt AT ALL. Spain was missing Marc Gasol today. I love Rudy Fernandez, Pau, Marc, and Serge Ibaka from the Spanish team. You heard it here (I can’t be any more wrong than I am about Tiger making it back) first. The USA will drop a game to either Argentina or Spain in the Olympics. They might still take the gold, but they WILL drop a game. I am not a believer, and am and will always be partial to the Dream Team, besides the fact that they left my boy Zeke at home.
2) The Browns signed RB Trent Richardson yesterday. I get the short shelf life, I get that RB’s play a dangerous position, but I think that dude might just be a steal for where they got him in the draft. He is a stud. I know you haven’t had anything to cheer for since the moment before John Elway broke your hearts, but feel good, Browns fans. You have a stud RB for years to come in your backfield.
3) Bobby Bowden says he didn’t celebrate by backing into the all time winning coach in FBS history, and I know him and Joe Pa were friends, but I still think he had a whiskey water in solitaire the night the ruling came down…probably smoking some big cigar simultaneously.
4) BIG news. Dwight Howard and the Magic, realizing they were off the wire for a WHOLE 24 hours, have declared that now Dwight Howard might stay in Orlando. Enough already. Tell me when it is over.
5) Dez Bryant’s mom has proclaimed that there was no violence with her son. I don’t care about the story. I already put Dez on the Rant Squad. You are in, bro. What I care about is this. My fraternity brother’s fantasy football name each year has been “Dez Bryant’s Mom.” This story just made him almost feel bad for not paying a couple bucks and trademarking that bad boy. Nice job, Scott. That name was awesome last year. It is ridiculously cool this year.
5a) When I welcomed Dez on the Squad, I forgot an offense. Editor’s note: Dez also was sued for not repaying loans. Technically, I brought him in after FOUR offenses, one more than needed. Sorry about that, Dez. I should have written that stuff down to not miss anything. You are hard to keep track of.
6) The rich are going to get richer. USC has room for Penn State RB Silas Redd on their roster. It says here I think they get him right before classes begin.
7) When you take away victories from a team like they did with PSU, what happens to the other team. They don’t get the wins. I don’t see how that works. It jacks up stats, and jacks up people like me who like to recite stuff like that. SOMEONE. Grab me a freaking flow chart, and I will be happy to show you how this turns equilibrium on its head. AND, let’s all watch Rosie Perez in White Men Can’t Jump. Sometimes when you win, you actually lose…yada yada yada…lobster (combo joke with Seinfeld).
8) I hear that Ichiro Suzuki made concessions to go to the Yankees. Of COURSE he did. Dude probably woke up this week, and got a new alarm clock that hits him in the head. Therefore, he had some sense knocked into him about how long they have been “reloading” in Seattle.
9) The Steelers signed Mike Tomlin to an extension through 2016. Either they realized that he literally embodies the persona of what a Steelers coach should be, they realized that he is a damn good coach, or they were just scared to tell him no. That is one scary dude if you ask me.
10) Justin Blackmon pleads guilty to his DUI last month. Jealous how fast I promoted Dez Bryant to the Rant Squad, he is already calling strippers and going to gun stores with saggy pants. May the force be with you, Justin.
11) Delonte West just signed with the Mavs. You say Deron Williams. I say Delonte West. Talk about talking to the last somewhat good looking chick in the bar before 2am…. At least they got something at the position I suppose, but that is a hell of a drop in quality for what your intentions are.
12) That is it. 7:47. Have a good night and talk to you tomorrow. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro…Peace.