My boy’s wicked smart.

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

Not on the clock.  Weekend rant.  I have a lot going on with LSU-Ole Miss, FSU-Clemson, and the AL Championship Series, but we will give it a go.  I am doing round 1 of moving this weekend, so time is of a premium.  And tomorrow is the Steelers of course.  Let’s turn and burn.

EMAIL: mark_filler@hotmail.com

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1)       I was watching the OU-Kansas football game today.  I found it funny and well thought out that the band for Kansas knew and played Livin’ On A Prayer by Bon Jovi.  They busted it out when OU was about to go up three scores.  That is recognizing who you actually ARE.

2)      Yesterday, we heard about LeBron idiotically calling out KG and Pierce for “leaving” their team when they actually got TRADED.  Today, LeBron said he would like to play ONE NFL game.  Thanks, LeBron.  I am sure we will get right on that.  You are perilously getting close to Snowball territory with the microphone…with the main difference being that when you hold the mic, we can see TWO rings.  Stick to basketball.

3)      Just went final.  Auburn beats A&M 45-41.  Manziel didn’t really hurt his Heisman cause as he threw for 454, 4 TD’s 2 INT’s, and one rushing TD, but this is a damaging blow considering it was at HIS crib.  Plus, I find joy in the guy losing.  Someone ask him if he might have thrown for one less INT if he wasn’t at Mardi Gras, or in Vegas, or the ESPY’s, etc.

4)      Where the HELL did Auburn come from?  I follow recruiting and the game in general.  They were supposed to still be rebuilding, but perhaps dangerous.

5)      If you work with me, go check out Erik’s phone.  He has the new Samsung Note.  The thing is HUGE.  He might need to buy special pants to fit that thing into.  Much love, Erik.  Do you have to send that thing separately through airport security?

6)      Derrick Rose says the Pacers are good, but that the Heat are his only TRUE rival.  I need to research whether this comment came out BEFORE or AFTER his recent knee swelling.  Dude, why don’t you get a few real games under your belt before talking smack?  Plus, the Pacers are GOOD.  When Danny Granger might be coming off the BENCH for someone, then you know the club has skills.  He was an All Star, but Paul George is pretty fancy too.

7)      Mark Cuban says hatred for the Heat is a good thing for the league.  Coming from not the most lovable guy out there, I don’t know what this means.  That being said, if I was a player, I would play for him in a heartbeat.

7a)  I get what he is saying though.  It is like Notre Dame being good.  Or Nebraska.

8)      Oh, and congrats on getting acquitted on insider trading, Mark.

9)      The Grambling players have written a letter to the college about why they are protesting.  Mold on equipment, paying for their own Gatorade for the coolers, etc.  If this is true, I get this complaint then.  College is supposed to be the best time of your life.  I could imagine throwing up bench presses and having to wash fungus off my skin would kind of bring me down.

9a)  Plus, if you all are paying for your own Gatorade, I assume you won’t be pouring Gatorade on your coach anytime soon.

10)   Do our fingernails just pick ONE night to grow and then do it?  Every time, I just wake up one day and say “damn, you are long.”  No warning.

11)   The Cards advanced.  They are the baseball version of the Spurs.  TELLING you.  Well run, just replace the role players, be smart, and be classy.  How are YOU doing, Albert?  Missing the arch?  I am on record for saying it would be Cards losing to the Tigers in seven.  Now I just need a miracle tonight with the Tigers.  Hell, we might know before I finish this thing with all of the action I have on channel flippers.

11a)  Backup plan is Cards over Boston in 6 just so you know.

12)   Molina breaking his bat on the ground was pretty damn tough looking…

13)   That standoff with the hats over their hearts was BIZARRE before the game.  The announcers were confused, the umps were pissed, the crowd was befuddled, and I have never seen that before.

14)   I love the word “befuddled.”

15)   I have the answer to the question you were asking yourself earlier today.  Harry Douglas out of Louisville and Drew Davis out of Oregon.  What was your question?  “With Jones and White BOTH out for the Falcons, who the hell is starting for the Falcons at WR?”

16)   So, let me get this straight.  Georgia Tech finally looked like they should look after getting killed by BYU previously and won 56-0.  Meanwhile, Wake BEAT Maryland?  Geez.

17)   So, let me this this straight.  Tennessee stuns South Carolina after South Carolina looked like they SHOULD look like last week.  Meanwhile, Vandy took down GEORGIA?  Geez.

18)   It is amazing how Dr. Dre concentrated on Beats headphones away from his rap and producing career and made them mainstream.

19)   Lindsey went to dinner.  I am officially in overload in the best way.  Ole Miss is not only beating the spread against LSU, but winning.  Baseball game is starting.  FSU-Clemson is starting.  I am blogging.  Sensory overload.

20)   I am definitely going to have to skip some things to get done in two hours…

21)   Tiger Woods might sue Brandel Chamblee about his cheating comments on El Tigre.  I guess we either we have to wait for him to start winning Majors again or for Lindsey Vonn to be totally back for him not to have free time.

22)   That Arby’s Smokehouse Brisket with gouda cheese looks pretty fancy.  I wish they delivered.  As Patrick Warburton would say, it feels like an Arby’s night. I would say that I hope Lindsey would bring home leftovers, but I think she went to New Saigon.

23)   Bill Russell was busted for having a gun in his carry on at the Seattle Airport.  I think two things on this.  One, Bill, you are too old to be on my Rant Squad but I appreciate the effort.  Two, I think he must have been going to see his grand kids.   I would carry a gun if I was carrying around 11 championship rings too.

24)   Lindsey made some sort of lox-cream cheese cracker topping last night.  It was delicious.  She was napping and it took all of my heart to not finish the container.

25)   I still like that Audi diesel commercial where everyone is yelling at the woman that her car is diesel.  Well done, whoever you are.

26)   Two players were ejected for targeting today from big time schools.  Objective?  Well founded.  Long run effect?  It is all good until it affects a BCS game.

27)   This is sick.  Heel kick rebound shot in soccer.  http://deadspin.com/zlatan-ibrahimovic-scores-absurd-goal-on-back-heel-voll-1448391117

27a)  Soccer, Logan.  I think you should look into going to Brazil with me.  It will be fun.

27b)  Seriously.  I am going one way or the other and don’t have many friends.

28)   So a Mariners’ player’s wife is stealing money from King Felix’s wife.  Not good on any count.  His nickname is “King,” for Pete’s sake.

29)   Jake Locker will start Sunday.  Break out the cliché about the tree in the forest that no one is around to hear.

30)   Where the HELL did Missouri come from?  They were winning with their starting QB, and now the backup comes in today and wrecks things?  That is like the poor man’s version of Ohio State.  Think about it.

31)   …who had a HELL of a time beating Iowa today at HOME…and didn’t beat the spread if you care.  I am SO glad I retired from betting outside of Vegas city limits.  I need to go to Vegas as a side note.

32)   Who do we have right now?  I mean, this is one of the clearest cut college football years I remember.  You have Bama.  You have Oregon.  You have the winner tonight between FSU and Clemson.  Then what?  Baylor and Miami are wildcards who are undefeated.  A&M lost.  LSU is losing and already HAS a loss.  Louisville lost at home.  UCLA lost.  Stanford lost.  Fresno State can’t make up the ground before the end of the season.  This is easy.  Bama, Oregon, and the winner of tonight.  Throw in Baylor or Miami if they make it, or the second place SEC team in the playoff and call it a day.

33)   Lost Boys was on last night.  STILL love that soundtrack.  LOVE it.

34)   If I sound stressed or extra angry in my rants next week, I will be working a VERY important deal all week, AND be moving.  I will not be the happiest guy next week.  Not like my happiness ever is conveyed in these blogs anyway.

35)   That is a lie.  I like talking about my Rant Squad and Snowball.

36)   Speaking of Louisville, they lost on Friday night at HOME to Central Florida.  I checked in on the game but then switched over to watch the Croods with my lady.  Midway through I found out they lost.  That is embarrassing.  You MIGHT have snuck in the four game playoff with your soft schedule going undefeated.  Now, you definitely have lost THAT, maybe Bridgewater the Heisman, and maybe him going ultra high in the draft.  BIG loss.

37)   I had a lot of notes on The Croods, but we have too much to get to.  It was great.  Rent it.  AND, Nicolas Cage is actually good since we can’t see him.

38)   The young of age cave person really had a skanky outfit.  That was weird.  Nicolas, kill another furry animal for Pete’s sake.

39)   Speaking of the draft, if you don’t know who Andrew Wiggins is in basketball, Google him now.  Let’s just say this.  This phrase is casually being thrown around, and I can’t say I disagree.  POSSIBLY the best player coming up since some guy named LeBron.

40)   Thoughts and prayers to the family of Bum Phillips.  My favorite line by that guy was “Dallas might be America’s team, but Houston is TEXAS’s team.”  That is funny.

41)   People outside in Utah are wondering how a guy they don’t know in the NBA just got a four year extension.  I will tell you.  He is still on the “potential”/ “ceiling” plan.  Georgia Tech guy.  Third overall in 2010.  Still hasn’t busted out double digits in PPG in a year, but he IS at 9.4.  They have a lot of hope and limited options.

42)   The Nets retired Jason Kidd’s jersey.  That is for Kidd’s benefit in the locker room.  Now, he can look at them AND flash his ring when regulating things with his veteran laced lineup.  Jason, make sure you ask Kirilenko about that deal he has with his model wife.  Kirilenko is allowed to sleep with one other woman one time a year.  Odd.

43)   I remember the days when Baltimore-Pittsburgh was a RINGER for national TV.  I don’t WANT to go anywhere tomorrow.  Ugghhh.  Thanks for sucking, Pittsburgh.

44)   Lindsey is the cook, and she put some paprika on chicken the other night.  I liked it.  Paprika.  I just like saying the word also.  Say it. It is fun.

45)   Do you ever think that ancient people looked at chickens and dismissed them as good food?  I bet the guy who caught the first chicken got laid a LOT.  Kind of like the early times Rocky.

46)   I hear they are calling Gravity the best EVER?  Come on.  Without going into my Sandra Bullock hatred again,  let me just throw out Usual Suspects, Godfather, Scarface, Casablanca, Deerhunter, Gladiator, Princess Bride, Good Will Hunting, etc.  just as a few.  Geez.

47)   Since our showing the condo extravaganza, I still find myself having a few drinks and cleaning the place involuntarily.  It must be a dream for Lindsey.

48)   The White Sox landed that badass Cuban slugger.  Either he just likes money, doesn’t mind losing, or someone must have told him that a lower score in baseball in the standings is good.  63-99.  Not golf, Cuban guy.

49)   As I watch this baseball game, and thinking like I am a Tiger, I am hoping I have the lead late.  The Red Sox closer is just dirty.

50)   Joakim Noah has been temporarily shut down already due to a groin injury.  That is not good.  AND, it makes me miss all of the odd pronunciations of his first name early in the season.

51)   The liquor store I went to today had a Captain Morgan promotion.  Some chick talked smack about what I bought.  I didn’t say it because I wanted to be nice, but I wanted to say hardly anyone drinks rum, the only mixer it has is sweet crap, all you have is cool commercials, and congrats on the cool name.  That is it.  I have no need for any spiced rum…unless it is on special at the bar I go to the next time.  Then, it is DELICIOUS.  I have the uncanny talent of being able to drink anything that is on special.  I say “I am asking about the specials to save money but I am an ex-bartender so I am a stellar tipper.”  I just won’t buy a big bottle of it in a liquor store.

52)   If you care about the state of my team, the Steelers put Levi Brown on IR without him even playing a game on his new contract.   That dude can just CHILL and make money.

53)   And he will probably have beers with Cowboys Jay Ratliff tonight.  They should get LOADED.  He did the same.

54)   I think there was something in the news about A-Rod and lawyers and such, but…

55)   But THIS is funny.  http://deadspin.com/book-we-want-to-believe-a-rod-got-his-hookers-two-at-1446693466

56)   I was flipping through the channels this week and caught Woody Paige on Around the Horn.  I have sat next to him at the Final Four.  I have read his articles.  I have seen him on TV.  Between him and Skip Bayless, I must be missing out on their brilliance.

57)   Rex Ryan felt bad for his brother in the Pats game in the other night.  Why do I mention this?  Are we hurting for headlines?  Do I really need to hear about this?  Does everything that Rex Ryan says get recorded?

58)   Dammit.  I guess I am falling for that lure by talking about it.  You got me again, Rex.

59)   Schiano said to the media this week that “the Bucs will be good.”  That is GREAT news.  We are SO glad you have optimism and confidence in your moves and strategy down there.  Me personally?  I hoping Josh Freeman lights it UP come Monday…for no personal reason whatsoever.

60)   Hey.  Come Monday.  GREAT song by Jimmy Buffet.  Hey, Jimmy, why are you playing the Pepsi Center?  Come earlier in the season and do Red Rocks.  I have seen you about 8 times live, and I can’t imagine ANY of those concerts being good INSIDE.  You are a Key West, beach and ocean, kind of guy.  Play Red Rocks or Fiddlers (or whatever the hell it is called these days).  Outside.

61)   FSU looks good right now.  But BIG stop in the red zone by Clemson on 3rd and 2.  10-0.  Let’s get going, Clemson.  I have fake money on you.

62)   I see that Baylor is back to their ridiculous PPG.  After a down week last week, they are up 37-0 at the half.

63)   Hakeem Nicks says “I am a Giant.”  That is true, Hakeem.  Until you make up with Tom, I assume you won’t be much longer.  I already dropped you from my fantasy team.  I could care less.

64)   It was the Bartman anniversary this week.  One of the oddest events in sports in the last 25 years.  I remember watching it live.  It was nuts.  Since that guy never got murdered, I assume he turned the tables and just uses his name to get laid.  Of course, I ASSUME he moved first before trying that method.

65)   The world doping agency is investigating Jamaica about the fact that they weren’t testing their athletes pre-Olympics.  I am glad they are doing it, but I hope all is good with Usain Bolt.  If he is found guilty of ANYTHING, we now have the track and field version of Lance Armstrong…with an extra ball.

66)   Iceland is ¼ the size of the smallest World Cup nation EVER.  Trinidad and Tobago is the present belt holder.  Iceland is in a playoff to make the World Cup.  May the force be with you, Iceland.

67)   FSU just turned the ball over.  This is not looking good.  AND, I still can hear that irritating FSU chant.  Ugghhh times 14,000.

68)   Ole Miss is still up on LSU in the third quarter.  What a crazy day for the SEC this would be if THIS happened?

69)   I am thinking of these guys as the foreign version of Lonely Island.  That should seem funny to see.  Here you go.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaEnaoydUUo&feature=youtu.be

70)   When I say that Deadspin is a COMPLETE website, THIS is what I am talking about.   Pizza. http://foodspin.deadspin.com/map-whats-the-nearest-pizza-chain-1444814112

71)   And this. Bacon.  http://foodspin.deadspin.com/science-bacon-is-the-ultimate-ingredient-1447078504

72)   Dogs rock.  Need proof?  http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/the-difference-between-dogs-and-cats

73)   You might not be excited for tomorrow, but I am hoping the Raiders can top their 3rd and 48 from last week.  Sorry, Todd (he actually reads this sometimes actually).  Really.  Ok.  One time.

74)   Moving.  Work.  Tough to get to gym.  I am starting the Herschel Walker plan on Monday.  For you older people, you know what I mean.  For you younger people, you are probably Googling Herschel Walker.  Whatever.  Bo Jackson and Herschel Walker.  Greatest athletes of the last 25 years.

75)   Rory McIlroy says that 2013 was about his swing and health and not his personal relationship with Caroline Wozniacki.  Whether you officially broke up or not, Rory, I will give you THIS advice.  Go grab one of those Russian tennis chicks.  You get another practice partner, and someone a little hotter than your ex.  You will still get a name you have to Google the correct spelling, but it will be fun.

76)   One of my Sales Engineers at work, Jake, was giving a demo.  He was showing our filtering feature, and said you can eliminate stories with “murder” in it.  It was fantastic.  If you were wondering the state of the world, I found it funny that all of the top news stories AFTER the filter STILL had people drowning, being rebelled on, committing suicide, etc.  Sad.

77)   About the Andrew Wiggins thing by the way, he is attending one year at Kansas first because of rules.  Adidas is already saying they are offering him $180 mil PLUS as soon as he goes to the draft, and Nike is just being badass and saying they will override whatever Adidas offers.

78)   Adidas WILL back off.  Remember Sebastian Telfair, idiots????

79)   I don’t have time for a joke on this, but Bob sent me a photo of an oarfish that was recently caught.  If you are not aware, this is the fish that is most likely probably responsible for all of our “serpent” stories.  http://news.msn.com/us/18-foot-sea-creature-found-off-california-coast?ocid=ansnews11

80)   I got shit at work for wearing long pants on a barely snowing day.  I ALWAYS wear shorts.  I was about to go out to one of those t-shirts shops and make a SIGN.  People, when  I go to work at 545 (true), it is colder.  My Jeep was in the shop.  I walked for 35 minutes.  I needed long pants.  My rule on shorts is less than 1 inch of snow and higher than 15 degrees temperature WITH my vehicle.

82)   Lindsey and I grabbed lunch from Sliceworks in Cap Hill today.  Please go there if you are local, and get the baked potato pizza with bacon and ranch.  It is dope.

83)   Ole Miss scored.  17-0.  Pretty sure they are good on the 9.5 spread.

84)   I think Washington college football is as bipolar as the Chargers football team.  They got WORKED today by Arizona State today.

85)   Clemson scored.  Glad the hangover wore off, Tigers.  17-7.  I am flipping on your channel again.

86)   You have to realize how much of an idiot Les Miles is to truly appreciate this sound bit.  It is no Iverson “practice,” but it is pretty good still.  http://deadspin.com/les-miles-explains-columbus-day-as-only-les-miles-can-1445828791

87)   But while we are at it, and since he is retiring in two weeks…  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGDBR2L5kzI

88)   I love the guy.  Give him shit for his intelligence and off the court actions.  NEVER (at least in front of me) question his heart on the court.  170 pounds SOAKED.

89)   Most disturbing thing I heard this week.  A father kills his son because the son was done watching football for the night.  http://deadspin.com/father-who-wanted-to-keep-watching-football-shoots-and-1445757096

90)   There was an anonymous NBA poll about who they wanted to take the last shot.  MJ won.  Kobe was second.  LeBron was nowhere to be found.  Concur 14,000 times.  Get some more rings, punk.

91)   How I have become to hate Johnny Football and LeBron so much over the last year is beyond me.  Respect?  Yes.  Like?  No.

92)   This Lightning fan knows what he is doing.  Watch the girl, not the guy.  Oh, AND the guys eyes when you watch it the second time, which you will have to do.  http://deadspin.com/this-tampa-bay-lightning-fan-knows-exactly-what-hes-do-1446071095

93)   Please Google “NASCAR Air Titan” and inform me what the hell is going on.

94)   Cal Ripken’s mom was accosted by a man with a gun.  Seriously, who would mess with Ripken’s mom?  That is like someone messing with MJ’s or Gretzky’s mom.

95)   Lionel Messi is back.  See, Logan, I report soccer off the hook.  No pun intended.

96)   I have it on my “to do” list in two weeks to investigate how I am getting to Brazil next summer.  There HAS to be a loophole.

97)   The grass is green.  Hernandez’s wife pleads not guilty.

98)   The sky is blue.  Vick is still injured.

99)   I am not technologically up with the times.  What the HELL?  Samsung made a watch that is a phone?  Do you still need the gigantic phone they make?  Can you write on it?  If you are a watch guy, does that mean you have to wear TWO watches?  I am so confused.

100)                       Lindsey watches Catfish.  I don’t.  BUT, I admit it is brilliant because when it IS on, I need to know what the person finally looks like…after they tease you for like 40 minutes.  Dammit.

101)                       A.P. skipped practice to attend his son’s funeral.  He apparently just found out about this kid.  Shame all the way around.

102)                       Just like I am not reading enough about college basketball starting, I have also not read enough about Mayo’s absence from the Pats.  That loss is huge.  Sure, they reload and keep it going, but that loss could be the difference between playoffs and Super Bowl.  At least Houston sucks.

103)                       The college football playoff panel was released.  Look it up yourself.  Yes, I talked about fingernails and Erik’s phone earlier, but it is my blog and my importance rating.

104)                       I think that Peyton Manning made Irsay look like an idiot this week by not commenting on derogatory comments.  Dare I say that I am ROOTING for Denver this week?  Vince, read that statement again.  You too, Mom.  I am realistic, and a very loyal yet quiet Steelers fan.  I am not an idiot though.  I still know that a win this week for my boys gets us to 2-4.

105)                       This article is fantastic.  http://espn.go.com/boxing/story/_/id/9630610/heavyweight-champ-vitali-klitschko-running-president-ukraine-espn-magazine

106)                       Will Georges St. Pierre still be fighting UFC when I am 90 years old?

107)                       Will Brent Musburger still be calling the game of the week when I am 90 years old?

108)                       I still go out and have a good time on appropriate nights and weekends.  Party skill?  Not diminished.  Recovery?  Diminished.  Relating to this, I will admit this.  If Lindsey asks me if I want to start a movie at 830pm during the week, it is possible that I give her a crazy look.  Too late for me.  Unless it is that Kiefer Sutherland phone movie that was like 79 minutes long with the phone.  I am cool with that.

109)                       24-7 FSU.  Not like I expected at ALL.  Clemson looks like me in the morning in college except that I wasn’t on the football team.

110)                       Louisville suspended Chase Behanan.  I have a feeling he will be reinstated by conference games…no offense, Rick.

111)                       The place we are moving into was owned by an ex-Red Sox player.  Lindsey is not here.  That is all I have for now.  I feel like George telling people that he was driving a car owned by Jon Voight.  Maybe I will have the guy bite a pen.

112)                       That is funny for Seinfeld fans.  VERY funny.

113)                       More of the sky is blue.  Mexico has a new soccer coach.  Are they competing with Grambling for most coaching changes in a year?  I think they are tied, but not sure.

114)                       Clemson looks HORRIBLE. The only good thing is that it is not halftime yet.  Get them in the locker room to get yelled at…pronto.

115)                       Unless you live in a bubble, you know that Florida sports don’t do well outside of the Heat.  The Florida Panthers hockey team actually ran an ad about how they would have the baseball game on TV if people showed up.  http://deadspin.com/florida-panthers-advertise-that-theyll-have-the-red-so-1447286785

116)                       I won’t go long on this.  The neighborhood play is getting RIDICULOUS in baseball.  I grasp the concept.  But, when Deadspin bitched about it ALSO, I have to pounce.  http://deadspin.com/will-instant-replay-kill-the-neighborhood-play-1447042451

117)                       Still working on watching Source Code, but it is officially on my list.  LOVE being confused at the end of a movie.

118)                       Eastern Michigan didn’t cover the spread.  I didn’t totally vouch for that game…just was hoping that a fallen WR would get them going.

119)                       Final thought, since it will be my theme.  A guy in college told me the best drunken driving story of ALL time that I had heard.  I told every person I met for the next 5 years.  A year later, I went to Good Will Hunting.  The story they told in the bar was EXACTLY the story I was spreading around for all those years.  I don’t think my fraternity brother duped me.  I think I told SO many people the story that it got to Ben and Matt before writing their Oscar winning manuscript.  Just saying.  You KNOW the story.  Cop car in a garage.  Anyway, might have to watch that soon.

120)                       Thanks for reading.  That is it.  Hope you enjoyed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

121a)  If you made it to the end of this rant, as always, you get a gift.  This week, I am giving away a phone case.  Please email me whether you have Samsung, iPhone, or Droid, what color, and whether you want “Fillerbuster” or “Fillerhater.”

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