Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock sort of. I have nowhere to go nor any plans, and it is a Saturday night, but after a killer workout, productive day and beneficial cleaning night, I might pass out while ranting.
Let’s turn and burn.
I will officially just go down my list one by one.
1) The details for the Josh Brent accident were released by the police. I don’t feel the need to see them. The incident was bad enough. The last details I WANTED to read was Big Ben’s sexual assault in a college bar, the last ones I did NOT want to read was Jerry Sandusky court stuff, and these I am not leaning either way…so enjoy on your own.
2) Funny Onion headline. Short. Concise. Funny as hell. “Sportsman of the Year. Jerry Sandusky.”
3) I am writing this listening to Chumbawamba presently, because it is on my mix CD from Lindsey. I am rocking it out.
4) Yes, even after a year, she makes me mixed CD’s. I like them, and it is my only chance to hear new hip songs and already own them. Plus, it makes us fresh and cheesy.
5) If you are down, out, and sad, just watch the first 10 minutes of the Indy football game this weekend. Seeing Chuck Pagano on the sideline and hearing the story will make your troubles just a tad bit less painful. It is going to be SO off the hook feel good.
6) I keep moving this “spades” story on my list. I will tell it one of these days. It involves a sailboat, Warren G, Michael Jordan, Navy football, and some serious games of the greatest game invented outside of poker.
7) I hear the Nets are interested in Jeff Van Gundy. Good fit, his system will work great with those players, solid coach, he will be fresh after years of just announcing, and I personally want him off the air from announcing games…maybe Hubie Brown will need to do more games.
8) Amare Stoudemire coming off the bench for the Knicks is like the basketball version of the movie Armageddon. I am not sure who is the meteor and who is earth, but like Costanza once said, “worlds will collide.”
9) It was a decent game between Baylor and Gonzaga Friday night. Gonzaga showed me they are an Elite 8 team possibly, and Baylor showed me they will be a Sweet Sixteen team again, and then put like THREE more guys in the NBA. Coach is getting the talent there, but when will it show for something?
10) I hear that Jones Drew is out until May. I would like a flow chart of when he has been IN during camps and games over the last 15 months.
11) So…..I TOTALLY missed the boat on this last night. I talked about Texas banning two players from their bowl game, but I didn’t have the whole scoop. So you are telling me that they were banned for “curfew,” and then an independent investigation is going on about a girl getting assaulted at about 2am (which I assume is after curfew) by two college students in the same town? Either multiple heists were done, the SAME two are involved, or Hicks and McCoy didn’t do anything that exciting in their late hours. I see trouble written ALL over this one.
12) GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can the Jets stay off the wire for ONE freaking day? One day after Rex Ryan disputes welcoming his firing, he says he wants to be with the Jets for 15 years. Dude. Don’t you have like quiet time? At home? With the fam? Away from mics? Seriously. Pissed.
13) Yes. I am aware he still gets me to write about him. This is a rant. I like to get pissed about shit.
14) Ed Reed and Can Newton just pulled hit and ref abuse fines totaling 86k. That is how much I hope to make in 2013. Just saying.
15) UFC kingpin Dana White says most UFC fighter smoke weed. I know you are a different sport, but can you PRETEND that it bothers you?
16) Hey, I made a UFC hook, meaning I have another excuse to show “UFC FIGHTER” Ronda Rousey. Enjoy.
17) End of week 2 of my killer 11 week workout program. No injuries. No illnesses. All good. I have been killing it, but “swimming shape” is a whole different animal…even for an ex-state swimmer. I swam ½ mile today after not swimming in about a year. I feel like I could fall…..ummm….asl…….eep…………..
18) Just kidding. I have a drink now and loud music on. Let’s get back to it. I hear there was movement on the NHL front, and that a new, more compromising, proposal has been submitted to the players…I feel like I could….fall…..um, that joke wasn’t funny the first time. Moving on, and why don’t you all just let me know when Chris Pronger can lace up again?
19) There were some bowl games on with some subpar teams involved. I didn’t watch them. There was college bball on. Priorities.
20) Retirement is good for Chipper Jones. He recently tweeted his unsuccessful attempt at putting together a hoop and backboard. I am not laughing at you, Chipper. I could tweet you my barely successful attempt at putting together a bed frame. We could laugh at each other, except I am lacking the whole Hall of Fame baseball player credentials. Give me a call. We can get passed that.
21) An ex-Louisville football player says he was attacked in the locker room and now is filing a suit against school. Jerry Sandusky was interested in this until he found out it involved with players who all had hit puberty.
22) That was a damn rude hook. Sorry.
23) New Year’s Eve is coming up. Lindsey and I are going through my 20 or so invites for the evening. Just kidding. No one has called me, and I really don’t care about it for amateur night.
24) When I go to Mexican restaurants, I just find something that has ingredients that I recognize and kind of like (I am picky). I always end up with a Chimichanga. I am not sure if I started ordering that because I like it, or because it has such a cool name. If I had a kid, I think “Chimichanga” would head the list. With “Seven.” Don’t get the second one? You are slacking on your Seinfeld.
25) If you like sports paraphernalia, check out the great article in ESPN Mag about Roberto Clemente’s mystery three bats that he used for his 3,000th hit. Very interesting. I am mad about the article though, as that question always stumped the alleged sports trivia badasses at bars. “Who is the only person to stop at 3000 hits?” Clemente. He died in a plane crash.
26) The Clippers won their 16 straight. If I were the Clippers, before my games, I would play Run DMC “Who’s house?” The Lakers and Clippers clashing in the playoffs this year would be AWESOME, and might just make me make a trip to the Staples Center.
27) Well, I called THAT wrong. I told the Heat to not worry about Wade’s suspension, since they were playing a crappy team. What happens? They lost to the Pistons. That is why they play the games, people.
28) In case I haven’t told you this enough, this song ROCKS. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-fA-gBCkj0
29) In case I haven’t told you this enough, this song ROCKS. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z30BN94MVgc
30) If there is a dysfunctional basketball team (besides the Knicks) that other teams are PRAYING doesn’t realize how much talent they have and suddenly become normal, it is UCLA. They took out a solid Missouri team last night (yes, Lindsey, I didn’t tell you our dinner WAS missing a GREAT game. What a boyfriend I am.). The Wears played solid, phenom freshman Shabazz tallied 27, and UNC castaway Larry Drew II had 10 dimes. NO ONE wants these guys in March. NO ONE.
31) Michael Vick won’t restructure his contract for next year, even in his diminished role. Were you guys smoking with the UFC fighters when you thought he WOULD? The sky is blue, the grass is green, and Michael Vick isn’t going to do anything out of the kindness of his heart. He treats dogs respectfully though. That’s it though, and because he HAS to by law.
32) One other thing about my workout plan. Week 3 starts the strict diet goals. I went to the grocery store today and bought ONE package of 16 cheese slices. One. And that one is for if Lindsey needs it while cooking. That is the first time since I was 23 that I walked out of a grocery trip without 4 packages of cheese. I am serious about this shit, because I AM a cheese addict.
33) It is SO cool writing this rant while my girlfriend is shooting a badass gun at a gun range with her mom. Talk about a cool chick and cool family.
34) UNLV, my Elite 8 sleeper for the tourney, lost to UNC today. It was close, but when you go 9-18 from the free throw line, and your STAR has 3 points when he fouls out before the end of the game, that is NOT getting it done. They won’t be going anywhere. Look out for them come March.
35) I watched my first full game of Louisville basketball this year. I know their roster, but I got to check them out against a talented Kentucky team. Louisville has the goods people. I don’t care what their bracket comes out as, I am penciling them in my Final Four.
36) I don’t think I have typed “Louisville” in correctly the first attempt in the last 10 years. My fingers always type the “i” after the “s.” Weird.
37) Lindsey and I watched Brave last night. It is a cartoon flick. LOVED it, and there are about two surprises you wouldn’t expect from a kids movie. Watch it, grownups. Solid, solid, solid.
38) I guess I am NOT on the clock. I can’t believe I am at 38 hooks.
39) Lionel Messi rejected a $40 million PER YEAR contract offer from a Russian league team. Yeah. I would have shot down THAT shit too, Lionel. Wait for the RIGHT offer.
40) I saw a HORRIFYING commercial on TV last night. Have you heard of the Carrie Diaries??? It said words that almost made me throw up my chimichanga. “Prequel to Sex and the City.” Ugghhh.
41) In case you care, the Wisconsin football team ate 619 lbs of meat last night, once again beating the other team who they are facing in the Rose Bowl. And does it MATTER how many players were allowed to contribute to the total? That is a LOT.
42) Ex-Laker (and other teams) Matt Barnes says his time with the Lakers was not good. Something tells me his time was GREAT, and someone on the Clippers media team just told him to say that into a mic to stir this new local rivalry (now that the other team is good finally).
43) In case you care, UCONN beat Stanford in the #1 vs #2 game in women’s basketball today. I didn’t see it. I was watching Seabiscuit on On Demand.
44) That last hook was inside joke funny. You have to know Jim Rome AND me.
45) Dibs to UCONN AND Kevin Ollie. The school already knows this is the GUY. I concur. He got a contract today for many years. Class player, and he will be a class coach for years to come. Lock that dude up.
46) I agree with Jay Bilas. Why does a coach get one full minute when a player fouls out to sub in another player? It is bogus, and an extra timeout that they shouldn’t get.
47) That is it. I am going to do…nothing. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
48) Just a tagline (thanks to my brother and Bryce Harper). I am off tomorrow. Talk to you on Monday.