Read it, don’t read, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Quick hitter. PGA Championship on, stuff to do.
1) RANT SQUAD UPDATE: I was worried about you, Chad. It has been a while since you have been on the idiot or police blotter. Luckily, you covered both this weekend by allegedly head-butting your wife and being sent to jail for domestic abuse. You were about to lose your qualifications for my squad. Not a nice job for head-butting your better half, but nice job on making sure I am clear you are an idiot.
2) Congrats to Penn State, who got their first recruit since the sanctions came down. SOMEONE has to lead the recovery parade.
3) Plaxico Burress will work out for the Pats after it was rumored the Cowboys were interested. Speaking of another person who needs to do something bad to remain on my Rant Squad radar. Go to a strip club after the workout.
4) IOC chief Rogge has rescinded his comments about Usain Bolt needing a good showing in “one or two more Olympics” to be considered among the best ever. Yeah, I would say that winning two of the most premier track and field events two times in a row pretty much covers that topic.
4a) Bolt contributed in the 4×100 relay for the gold AND a world record. Once again, when the HELL did Jamaica get so freaking fast?
5) The US bball team beat Spain for the gold medal today. Good job, go America, and I DID notice that the comparisons with the Dream Team pretty much stopped after the 5 point win against Lithuania. As it should have.
6) Tyrann Mathieu gets booted from LSU, finishes any a la Charles Woodson Heisman talk for this year, AND gets McNeese State in the news. Everyone is happy.
7) I am glad the PGA is squeezing the final round in today after weather delays. Nothing depresses me more than hitting “refresh” on my computer at work 90,000 times at work on a Monday when they have to go the extra day.
8) Congrats to Allyson Felix, who got her 3rd gold in the 4×100 relay yesterday. That tie-breaking squabble in the 100 at the trials seems like it occurred SO long ago. Bill Cosby is still sad. The joke is THERE. I promise.
9) It looks like Cedric Benson might have a job with the Packers. He is kind of like the football version of Tracy McGrady. Once again, the joke is THERE. Reach out and grab it.
10) I admit it. I did not know that Bruce Jenner was involved in the whole Kardashian family thing. I think they have a different meaning of the word “decathlon,” but at least now I know about it.
11) In the words of Whitesnake, “here I go again on my own.” Wire headline: “Armstrong fights USADA.” Dude, thanks for keeping my cycling ESPN wire game going, we are covered for another two weeks, and somehow get Tawny Kitaen’s number.
12) Article I didn’t feel the need to open up. ” Jim Mora says there are no murders near the UCLA campus. It just sounds funnier not totally knowing where he was going with that statement.
13) Congrats to the ex-WSOP player/ female ref for being the first woman to ref an NFL game. It has taken WAY to long for this to happen. I hear she celebrated the same way I celebrated my bartender shifts ending years ago, by going home and watching Rounders.
14) I am watching the PGA. Will someone act like they WANT to catch Rory McIlroy? Tiger is doing his “I am ALMOST back” thing, John Daly is not being shown anymore because Hooters has a late lunch special, and no one gives Mickelson shit when HE sucks.
15) Dwight Howard goes to the Lakers. Bynum is already figuring out how to get in trouble on South Street, Nuggets fans are trying to figure out how to spell Iguadola, and people in L.A. don’t CARE who the fifth guy is in the starting lineup with Dwight Howard, Pau Gasol, Steve Nash, and drinking extraordinaire Kobe Bryant.
16) Yes, I dressed up like a hot dog last night. There was a super hero event going on, I don’t have the motivation to go buy a costume, my colleague happened to have a hot dog costume with a cape, and it is what it is. Lindsey had a beautiful costume that was Poison Ivy from Batman. She looked dope.
16a) I don’t recommend ANYONE do a shot that has a dead scorpion in it. It is just not a good idea on any level.
17) Usain Bolt, after his 200m win, broke the Twitter record for traffic. Let him race a few more times. I want Tim Tebow off that best of list.
18) Finally, here is my favorite story of the week. It is NASCAR related, and perhaps I find it MUCH funnier than other people. Two kids got arrested for breaking and entering. Here is the funny part to me. The two kids were sons of Roger Penske. No, they were NOT breaking into a convenience story or a trailer park.. They got busted trying to get in a yacht club. A YACHT club. NASCAR kids wanting to illegally enter a yacht club. Whatever. I find that funny.
19) That is it. Quick hitter as I said. Gotta go do stuff and be in pain watching Tiger almost come back, but not. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.