Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. I am airport hotel bound. Just going to say what I have to say, with a blind airplane rant tomorrow to get out any other thoughts.
Let’s turn and burn.
1) Well, in baseball terms, it would be 0 for EVERYONE. No one made the needed 75% vote. Rumors have it that if the roiders get in, there would be a faction within the Hall, to the point that they might walk off the stage before speeches. Anyway, roiders with CRAZY numbers don’t make it. Craig Biggio, not a winner, but Mr. Consistent, came the closest, and will get in at some point after he “pays his dues” in failed votes. Then you have Jack Morris. Yes, THAT Jack Morris. The one with postseason stories galore and who WAS a winner, but that 3.90 ERA just stares you out of the room. Till next time, gents. I am sure a bunch of people will tune in to see those alive non players accept their induction. No, I am not looking up their names for you. You are on your own.
2) What LSU’s Tyrann Mathieu did in 2011 was amazing. He better be the best of everyone at the combine, because scouts don’t really trust players “training on their own.”
3) Nice job on winning the Aussie Open warmup tournament, Andy Murray. I don’t see you winning the actual Open. Give me Serena on the women’s side, and (dammit, he HAS to win SOMETIME) Jo-Wilfried Tsonga on the men’s side. Bring it.
4) Lance Berkman signs with the Texas Rangers. No, Texas. When we said you need to try and replace Josh Hamilton, we didn’t say to do it What about Bob baby step style with over the hill/ often injured players. I don’t think they will allow you to add 9 more guys. There has to be roster rules or something.
5) Stanford TE Zach Ertz will be going pro. If you haven’t seen him play, then check out his highlights. Dude is efficient, is a stud, has a TE body, and will be solid at the next level. I just don’t know though. Not sure if I would have left that quality, contending Stanford team just quite yet. Bama’s dominance is even making people LEAVE college football.
6) The Jets dismiss Tony Sparano. The Cowboys dismiss Rob Ryan. Oh no. What’s worse than two Ryans in the league? Yup. Two Ryans on the same TEAM. A dysfunctional team at that.
7) Scott Skiles and the Milwaukee Bucks will part ways. Sorry, coach. It just is not happening. Don’t worry. I will always remember you for holding the record for points at Michigan State, and your magical 30 assist NBA game for Orlando back in the day. May the force be with you.
8) There are different levels of confusion. This would be my highest I think. I was sober the other night watching TV. Maybe I spaced out, maybe I was distracted, I don’t know. But I SWORE I saw a commercial for “stars in danger-high dive.” Not sure, but regardless I am confused. That can’t be a show, can it? As bad as shows are these days, that is truly throwing in the towel.
9) There is a Samsung commercial lauding the ability to do two things at once on your smart phone. Listen, Samsung. It took me five minutes to figure out how to reply to a work email when I got my most recent phone. If someone calls me while I am texting someone else, forget it. I end up hanging up on the person calling, and sending some random auto correct mess to the person I am texting. Basically, not interested.
10) If you like Nickelback, not only do I personally not understand you, but you won’t like this link. If you occasionally crack on Nickelback, here you go: http://townhall.com/tipsheet/katehicks/2013/01/08/congress-less-popular-than-root-canals-cockroaches-and-nickelback-n1484700
11) Melo has words with Kevin Garnett during a game. Melo approaches KG in the tunnel afterwards. Melo gets suspended. Listen, I am not sure about the security in those tunnels, but that is about the closest thing to approaching a bad dude in an alley who has a bat. Text him, Melo.
12) Nick Saban says he is at peace in college and will not be going to the NFL. I believe him. How can you possibly get a better gig than him right now? The pipeline is not exactly slowing DOWN going into next year. Plus, why leave? We have a whole college year at looking at AJ McCarron’s woman, who is now famous as hell thanks to Brent Musburger being a little old man horny on air talking to millions of people.
13) Nice pull, Urban. With Ohio State finishing 3rd in the final standings, he pulled in an extra $150k. Not that he needs it. Hey, Urban. Give it to your team off the record. Lose it and have them “find” it. That way, we could have new, fun stories about Ohio State players and scandal.
14) Top 150 DE Kylie Fitts decommitted from USC this week. Ebb and flow. We witnessed everyone and their mother going TO USC a few years ago, and now we might see recruits seeing greener pastures. Good job, Matt Barkley. You jacked up my #1 pick this year, AND your future recruiting.
15) Adam LaRoche is back with the Nationals. Yeah, I wouldn’t jump off that bandwagon just quote yet.
16) Dustin Johnson wins the PGA Tour opening tournament. He might not be a household name yet, but if you look under the winner in a LOT of tournaments last year, you will see his name pretty damn close to the top. One to watch for sure. He has the talent.
17) I am in Kansas City for tonight, stuck at a airport hotel with nothing around. We had a rental car though, and had to get a little BBQ. Sure, we might not have gone to some famous place around this town, but I will admit it tasted a little bit better than what I have had. Plus, the potato salad was off the hook, and a second serving was perfect for my fast metabolism’s late hunger before bed without a fridge.
18) I hear about this whole Barrett Jones-AJ McCarron argument in the second half of the Bama game. The conversations around me usually sound like this. “Did you see that Jones-McCarron argument? When did it happen? Second half. Oh, I was watching a movie by that time.” I guess Kobe saw it. New to tweeting, he tweeted about it. Thanks for the input, Kobe. Go back to fighting Dwight Howard and make sure you win.
19) Google “lazar Hayward dead people.” Read the article. Figure out why the hell this is on the wire and get back to me.
20) The Eagles are interviewing Lovie Smith. Sure, you are interviewing the best coach out there, but he is not what you need. He is a defensive minded coach. With your offensive weapons, Philly, your fans will be booing him by the third game.
21) Lindsey is teaching me to cook hard boiled eggs this weekend. Yes, I assume it is pretty simple, but just telling you because that is how LITTLE I do in the kitchen on the actual stove. I LOVE eggs. Why didn’t I think of this before? Quick breakfast without having to Rocky it (raw, which I DID do when I was younger all because of the movie). I am learning this trick as late as I learned to just keep unsweetened ice tea in my FRIDGE instead of complaining how 7-11’s don’t sell it without flavors.
22) Great. Not only is Lance Armstrong on the wire again, but he is on with the devil herself. Oprah will be airing an interview with Lance Armstrong. That sentence has more holes than a swiss cheese slice that isn’t even there (I just made that up. I am aware it is not very funny. None of my joke inventions are. Deal with it.).
23) Rolando McClain is trying to get on my Rant Squad the creative way, not exciting way. He got arrested for being pulled over for too tinted of windows, and then lying about who he was. Creative, but you need a stripper in the passenger seat or guns in the trunk to even make ANY progress with me.
24) I am VERY focused on my rant when I am alone in my hotel room. Wow.
25) Cuban is fined $50K for talking about refs. Just copy and then paste this on the wire about two months from now. Moving on.
26) Peyton Manning is not only smart, but he has ESP too. He started practicing with gloves because of his injury last year…before he got traded to Denver. Now, he will NEED gloves and he will be all set.
27) Phil Jackson has “no intention” of coaching again. Yeah, until the Nets get Dwight Howard next year.
28) Reggie Wayne says that the dance by Ray Lewis was disrespectful. I absolutely disagree. It was a goodbye to the fans, and not aimed at your team. Ray Lewis might be an animal on the field, but he is a respectful person when he is not killing someone off the field. Let it go, Reggie. Or maybe, you should have approached him in the tunnel.
29) Forget that Christmas is done. Check out the Family Guy “Nativity” episode. Aside from the very odd ending, it was pretty freaking funny.
30) Brazil prostitutes are enlisting in English classes preparing for the World Cup in 2014. Not my deal obviously, but I assume smart prostitutes are boring and would make for a lack of good jokes, unless you are in Leaving Las Vegas.
31) The NHL is to vote on the new deal. Like I said, I will believe it is a done deal when I see it, and I am convinced they are voting on post its with messengers on horseback. Think Paul Revere with a hockey stick.
32) Missy Franklin is back swimming in her local high school. A competitor said she is the same old Missy. I assume that is about personality, but I also assume the competitor got her ass kicked.
33) There will be no more dugout phones in 2014 in MLB. That is sad. I guess it makes sense, but can’t they do wireless techonology with the old school dusty phone?
34) I need to do more research, but did I hear right? Jim Rome will be on the Super Bowl announcing team? AWESOME.
35) NBA player Andray Blatche was found innocent in the sexual assault case at a hotel with strippers. There were 3 guys and 3 girls. Hey, Andray, congratulations on your innocence, but you do realize you shouldn’t even BE there, right?
36) That is it. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? On an airplane? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.