Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Let’s record, but I have a lot to get to. Speed version. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Still testing who reads this. JJ, thanks for thde theme song every morning. You are one of the most excellent sales people have met. Dude is dope AND closed our first NFL client in less than day.
2) In case you don’t know where Millville is, it is 45 minutes west of Atlantic City. In case you don’t know who Mike Trout is, then let’s play Trivial Pursuit and help you get out of your bubble. http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/sports/breaking_news/millville-s-mike-trout-already-keeping-pace-with-hall-of/article_425bb76a-49b2-11e3-b633-0019bb2963f4.html
3) Bama beat the spread AND won soundly against LSU. Jameis Squinston and AJ will be fun.
4) I am happy the Steelers won. I am not sure what it proved beating the Bills, but I would need a transitive property flow chart for that, so we won’t go there.
5) Lindsey has the day off tomorrow, like most normal people.
6) I really, really still like the song Stacy’s Mom.
7) Maloney’s in downtown Denver is cool, but still overpriced.
8) Richie Incognito says he is a product of his environment. He is an idiot.
9) Nadal beat Federer in the semi’s of…something. We don’t care after the US Open.
10) Arian Foster is out for the year. Yes. My fantasy year gets better and better.
11) I was down at one point today in fantasy 91-7.
12) Tiger finished up third in Turkey. We know he is top five wherever he plays, he just can’t win.
13) I am so glad that I have held on to Tavon Austin out of cockiness, and he scored 3 TD’s on my bench today.
14) Dan Henderson got knocked out for the first time AND in the first FIVE minutes. I would like to make a square-rectangle reference (which is my favorite reference of all time), but I digress. This might be the last guy besides Jon Jones whose name I know in UFC. And that guy Silva.
15) What???? “A Square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square.”
16) It is really frustrating me that Lindsey is off tomorrow. AND my car is in the shop. Dammit. The mad Russian has it. I might even tip him on my bill.
18) Florida might miss a bowl game after losing to Vandy. Ha Ha, Mike Hayter. Ha.
19) My display is up by the front door and ready for my digital signage. Yes, David. I will be the first.
20) Do the Steelers really have a bad offensive line AND have a guy named “whimper” on it?”
21) Joe Flacco. You suck.
22) I think Jimmy Johnson turned left better than the rest today.
23) The Spurs won today over the Knicks. Probably something about defense, but I am just ballparking.
24) We can all sigh, because Notre Dame can’t make a BCS Bowl. Yay.
25) In case you care, even though they sucked at the beginning of the season, UT has not been beaten in conference play.
26) The Celtics beat the Heat? One is irritatingly good, and the other is rebuilding around an asshole PG who can’t shoot. Wait. Who am I mad at?
27) The Pacers are 7-0 if you care, which you should, and if you don’t, the Heat DO.
28) I ate brunch at a place that played Journey’s Separate Ways. Charles, you don’t read my blog, but you will. And we will laugh about this. Side note. You appear to be smarter than everyone else combined at Four Winds. You are a scary intelligent person.
29) Just to test who read this, hello Cerk. You are THE man, have a great wife, and I hear you left for skiing at 935am today. Doesn’t sounds like you for organization.
30) The bartender today at Stueben’s kept saying “dynamite.” I might keep it. Just a warning.
31) Lindsey and I ALMOST made it from Stueben’s to home without stopping by Uptown for bottomless mimosas. Almost.
32) Thanks again, Lindsey’s dad. Steve, you taught me a lot today. I am not exactly an expert with a drill now, but I am Maverick. That’s right, Ice, I AM dangerous.
33) Lindsey came up with a BRILLIANT idea today at brunch. I have been designing the right shoulder tattoo for YEARS. I want to honor my grandfather. Instead of developing a crazy design, why don’t I just put what is in my wallet on my shoulder? Queen of hearts. My mom’s father was one of the most important persons of my life, and we played blackjack when I was 8 with my piggy bank. I still carry a queen of hearts in my wallet. Some of my finest moments in life involve 5am mornings in a garage in Bradford, PA.
34) I still love that commercial for Halo with Frank Sinatra singing in the background.
35) As much as I complained about the loser pool NOT having you pick a DIFFERENT team each week, I still am out of the reusable pool. Sorry, Mark F.
36) The guy next to me and Lindsey did “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETH” when someone else caught a ball. Rule #1. I love my Steelers. Rule #2. I hate other Steelers fans.
37) Hello, Lindsey’s friend, Nicolette. When we first started dating, she said “you better be able to handle yourself when you drink and be DAMN funny.” I guess I qualified. This is Nicolette drinking a bloody mary. I think there is a cheesburger in the thing. Boom goes the dynamite.
38) That is it. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.