Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Day rant in front of football after returning safely from Fort Collins. Lots to cover. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations, all. Thanks for joining me. I got my needed stuff done after coming back from Fort Collins, and now it is just a nice, long day of enjoying football. First of all, thoughts and prayers to the families of the NY train accident victims and also sadly everyone in Paul Walker’s inner circle. The Fillerbuster would like to comment more on the Paul Walker thing, but I have a feeling it would just be grey area car and Fast and Furious comments. Let’s get moving before I DO say something off kilter.
2) Steelers William Gay was fined 15k for a hit in last week’s football game. I love the fines where there wasn’t even a freaking penalty. You can just fine the Steelers for sucking, but let’s kill these no penalty/ fining deals. Replay is good to a point.
3) Arizona beat Duke last night to finally proclaim they would like to use those top 5 recruiting classes over the last 10 years and possibly be good. Aaron Gordon is the bomb, and sorry for your loss, Logan. I didn’t get much out of Logan on our text conversation last night aside from “BLAH BLAH BLAH,” so hopefully he is doing well and possibly curled up on his couch with a stuffed animal.
4) But of COURSE Logan isn’t doing that. Duke football is in the ACC Championship and ready to get pummeled by FSU. So, I guess the weekend is a push for Blue Devil fans.
5) But not a push for Auburn fans. I was SO glad to avoid taking the post football game nap and watch an instant classic. I didn’t even TRY to find the UVA-VA Tech game. More on this as I rant as my notes are all random during the game.
5a) Saban showing he has NO faith in his kicker, AND kicking a long FG when they are Bama and SHOULD win in OT was crazy idiotic. What are you thinking, Nick Saban? The one thing you have done over the years is NOT put things in “it could happen” hands.
6) I forgot to show you this photo from Lindsey’s rents’ house in the mountains of CO on Thanksgiving. Kind of cool when you can just look outside during dinner and see elk.
7) I pledge to have more photos in my blog starting today. Apparently, my dad tunes in primarily for the pics. I got your back, Dad.
8) I think I am just NOW settling into normalcy after drinking 3.5 Coke Zero’s on Thanksgiving. Great tasting drink, but I now assume the way they have it taste SO good without having typical bad things in it is by putting NON mainstream bad things in it.
9) I am going on the record. Café Mexicali in Fort Collins, in my entire 41 years of being on this earth, has the best burrito I have EVER tasted. It was heavenly. Four ranges of hot sauce (I got most of them), CHIPOTLE sour cream, and a large serving portion. It was IMMACULATE and I HIGHLY recommend going there. Not only that, but I topped it off with their in house hot sauce that has scary pepper things in it. I had to walk outside and grab some paper towels for my forehead and nose afterwards. But, I do that all the time. My body physically doesn’t play well with hot stuff. BUT, my favorite tasting stuff is hot as hell. You now can understand the daily conflict.
10) Hey, Bo Pelini. When you occupy four of the first five things on Deadspin, it is NOT a good thing. Almost hitting a ref, calling a call “chickenshit” during your post game conference, almost fighting a sideline reporter, etc. You are one MISERABLE dude.
11) At a MISERABLE college. So, maybe that explains itself. BUT, I don’t remember hating Tom Osbourne at all, so it MUST be you.
12) The NFL is reviewing the whole Mike Tomlin thing. I am about as diehard Steeler fan as you can find, but I will go on record and say that they should fine him…a lot. I lost some respect for him AND Jason Kidd over the last half week or so.
13) The cup, people. Sode on the basketball floor. Google it.
14) Before you think that Oklahoma State BARELY beating Butler tells us something about either program, let’s remember this is learning time for these kids. And the Fillerbuster will go on record and say that Butler is not that good and Oklahoma State IS. Marcus Smart is the best player in the nation.
14a) Unless you are on my bandwagon with Doug McDermott.
15) The state of Ohio upped the ante this weekend by putting forth an actual government resolution that asked residents to NOT use the letter “M” yesterday. That is so ridiculous that it is kind of funny and on point. I could flowchart that for you. They went all the way on this one. They even red marked all over Woody Hayes’ throne. I guess I AM straddling the fence on this one.
16) I commend the Best Western in Fort Collins. I am not a big Best Western guy, as most normal people who travel aren’t either. But, free WIFI, clean pool, hot tub I used about 6 times in two days, decent shower pressure, free breakfast, white noise option for fan, newly renovated room, plenty of parking, walking distance to Old Town, and the only bad thing Lindsey and I found was that she thought the hair dryer MIGHT blow up while in use. All in all, I was pretty satisfied.
17) Hey, Linkin Park, your new song sucks, as most of them have since you guys got married, had kids, and stopped being angry. Don’t worry, I have found other workout music.
18) Holy smokes, Josh Gordon just did something. Not good in the fantasy playoffs when the opposing team has a player who is presently at FORTY FREAKING SIX points.
19) Happy trails, Ted Lilly. It doesn’t matter how many teams you played for or how many rings you have or don’t have, you did well. You can tell your kid that you were the best 5% two times in your career, and that overall against the best hitters in the world, you were smiling 130 times and only sad 113 times. Nice job, bro.
20) The Fillerbuster has done a 180, or 360 if you love Seinfeld like I do. After that CRAZY loss in the Iron Bowl, I think Nick Saban IS returning rich oil rig owning Texas people’s texts, and is pulling out those Austin brochures that he told his wife he threw away.
21) Who is the greatest fan of Johnny Football? Kevin Sumlin? Who is that? He is the A&M coach who just got re-upped in his contract, mostly due to that idiot somehow being good on the field between partying with famous people. You are WELCOME, Kevin.
22) It is a warm Colorado day for winter, but I still find it ridiculous that the house across the street is MOWING THEIR LAWN.
23) I really could go for some chips and cheese right now. I need to hunt down the person who ate two full bottles of Easy Cheese in two nights. Damn that guy.
24) Smoked Tabasco is still in the lead, but my love for Sriracha sauce is making a serious comeback. It is sudden too. I am suddenly putting Sriracha on spaghetti.
25) The good news about the Vikings going into OT again is that I can wait another 20 minutes or so before turning on the Broncos.
26) Is this a homeless man who scored a very nice bike, or someone with a very nice bike who doesn’t have storage at their condo (and REALLY strong-my brother MIGHT be able to ride this thing up the hill)?
27) Michael Jordan’s wife is expecting their first child. We get another shot at finding out what genes do, and he might be spacing out his children’s ages at a record pace. I believe his oldest is 25. Not saying I have the genes MJ has, but he does realize that he will be JUST getting that kid through college at 73, right?
28) George Karl felt lonely the other day and decided to lash out against Marc Jackson. George, we admire your fight against cancer, just not your fight in the playoffs with any one of your teams…like ever.
29) I am only predicted to lose by 38 now with my personal fantasy team. Thanks, Shane Vereen.
30) Yes, I am starting Shane Vereen. We all have our problems.
31) DeMarcus Cousins is an idiot, but at least decides which teams he shows his loyalty against. Go for a happy hour on that fancy riverboat you have out there, DeMarcus. It will relax you a bit. http://deadspin.com/demarcus-cousins-continues-strict-no-handshake-policy-a-1474110705
32) Oh, and just reporting that ex-Duke player JJ Redick in the photo is out fo 6-8 weeks.
33) Whoa, Nellie. Way to get a personal foul on a freaking field goal IN OT. I hope they get to reload those cannons I just heard. What an IDIOTIC penalty. I am talking about the Minnesota football game.
34) Yes. Marcus Hall. We know the OSU-Michigan rivalry is fierce. Giving everyone the bird with both hands is still not one of your classier moments in life.
35) Did Auburn’s punter get the game ball? He should.
36) No, he shouldn’t. He is a freaking punter. BUT, he did excel at his position yesterday like no other punter ever has.
37) I had some drinks yesterday, and having a sewing machine on the sidelines for a uniform fix IS cool, but doesn’t a big name school like Auburn have enough money to just carry TWO uniforms for each player. Not only that, they were at HOME.
38) Hey, Bama, and good teams from the last 30 years, how come you guys can’t squeeze ONE good kicker into those top 5 recruiting classes?
39) If you watched the Iron Bowl, you saw the same thing I saw. I didn’t think Bama was in sync at any part of the game. Lucky long play to stay in game, substitution mistakes, penalties, etc. That was literally the least prepared I have ever seen a Bama team. Did you not think the #2 ranked rushing team was NOT going to run it???
40) Not only did we attend a game, and not only did we get invited to sit in seats by her fronts, but how adorable is THIS? Lindsey and Mark. L&M.
41) If Lindsey isn’t down with the whole African Bourbol dog idea, I will be OK with an Australian Shepherd. They look cool, and maybe they have a cool accent too.
42) Mom, you taught me how to read my palm when I was about 10 years old. Well, turns out it was pretty locked on. Without going into the debacle, the ONE thing I remember was how to see how many times someone will get married. I had one strong line and one blurred line. That is pretty tight and accurate.
43) We had a choice between two bars on Friday with similar divey looks. We chose one, but then I was outside and heard Panic at the other. Trailhead. Apparently the Widespread Panic bar of Fort Collins. We hit it up Saturday.
44) I am not the poorest person on the earth, but I DO look for drink specials. It is SO nice visiting a college town, where NOT happy hour specials are still ridiculously awesome.
45) If in Fort Collins, I recommend the burger at Austin’s. Order it medium rare, and wait for the incredible taste to come.
45a) And see Horsetooth, the Oval, and watch a football game. It is fun.
46) Seriously, shut it down. NO MORE “and/or” car commercials. I am about to start throwing shit at the TV.
47) In case you care, Jabari Parker started the season with SEVEN 20 point games. No one has done that as a freshman since some bum named Kevin Durant. Oh, and I would love to keep talking about this, but he only had 19 points in the loss. Therefore, this conversation is officially closed. Sorry, Logan.
48) I feel like I am in a time warp. It feels like YESTERDAY that Arkansas was top ten ranked and churning out NFL QB’s regularly. Now, after blowing it against LSU yesterday, they haven’t won in about a YEAR in SEC play.
49) For the record, Everybody Dance Now SUCKS, and The Power RULES. Brilliant that they just redid a similar groove to make a little more money, but the first one still rules. And I can still nail the rap to this day of The Power. And the dance…or at least the attempting of the moves from the dance.
50) Besides the fact that we can all be disturbed that the HALFTIME score of the Fresno State-San Jose game was 42-41, we can all rest easy now in the Heisman NO one wants to win. He just eliminated HIMSELF by losing that game. Who is up now?
51) Love you, Tom Izzo, and love the program you run. BUT, can you have a pep talk for attending CLASS? Having athletes stay for their remaining years does NOT allow them JUST to play bball.
52) Yes, you are correct. The NBA Eastern Conference has TWO teams above .500. The West? They have TWO teams above .500 NOT in the playoffs as of right now.
53) I am now projected to only lose by 33 points in my personal fantasy league. We are making up ground.
54) Congrats, Lindsey Vonn, for practicing again. Imagine what the world would be like without Facebook or Twitter. I feel SO involved in your life.
55) The Minnesota Timberwolves are rationalizing their understandably higher Miami Heat prices by offering “high fives.” No word on whether the Heat actually KNOW about this special deal.
56) After being the hero, Suh got fined for a throat slashing gesture during that game. Does he even CARE about going ONE freaking week without being in the news for something negative? Is he going to be pulling the role model lines from way back when?
57) Even the person carrying the freaking FLAG at Oregon is fast.
58) I have a bumper sticker on my ’83 Camaro to support this hook. Hey, OSU, before getting TOO happy, let’s remember two things. You are not “The University.” UVA is. And, if you make the BCS title game, it is probably because of your schedule and because Brady Hoke is a LITTLE too cocky and went for two.
59) KU bball lost. Sounds about right. They have the talent, but are very young. Think of them as the less popular Kentucky squad. They can beat anyone, but also can lose to anyone either. Put UNC in this group.
60) After busting out some lip readers, I see that Jason Kidd is kind of coming clean. Creative? Concur. On purpose? Yup.
61) Oregon, you are lucky to not have lost again.
62) Richie Incognito’s ban is officially extended. Dude, go to a strip club with Marcus Vick. If there was ANYONE out there that SHOULD be on my Rant Squad that isn’t, it is you. But I have rules also. You need to streak something, get arrested, get a DUI, or hit your significant other. All of these can be accomplished by going out with Marcus Vick.
63) Whoever you are, I would like to thank the monster truck across the parking lot from us at the CSU game. Too much Ozzy for my taste, but playing two Ratt songs, a Poison song, and Cherry Pie was awesome.
63a) And yes, I HAVE met Jani Lane.
64) We can blame some of it on Thanksgiving weekend, but that CSU stadium was a skeleton crew. I liked the elbow room though.
65) Manning was just picked for the second time in the first half. I will admit I just smirked. Arrowhead and that Pats comeback last week will settle down this Bronco town a little.
66) Is FSU-Duke going to have the largest point spread of ALL time for a conference title game? I haven’t looked. I am ballparking 22.5. And THAT is being nice.
67) Dolphins Jonathan Martin is officially done for the year. I wish we could also say there will be a moratorium (props Jim Rome) on the story in general also.
68) I feel like Percy Harvin is quickly becoming the football version of Tracy McGrady.
69) Bama, before last night, was 60-0 when rushing for more than 140 yards. I guess that would be 60-1 using my stellar math skills.
70) There are many hot chicks that have come through music, TV, and the model ranks. But thanks to my dad, I still have respect for the girl in the background in this photo and Bo Derek (not pictured).
71) Well, we might as well throw in a photo of her, too. I have time today.
72) The Texans find new and crazy ways of losing a game and the Pats continue to not impress us but just win.
73) The Colts have demoted Trent Richardson. I had Donald Brown on my fantasy team TWICE this year. THANKS.
74) Tomlin should get fined, but I am still waiting on a clever nickname for the stunt. I could allocate some time for this, but that would take me away from getting patents for my not so brilliant ideas…the Tripod and the Frostzip.
75) I could tell you more about both, but then I would have to kill you.
75a) Shhh, Ben.
76) The Yankees and Cano are still $80 million apart in negotiations. I was high on my estimation. I thought they would more like $110 mil apart. Glad I didn’t bet that one.
77) Rory McIlroy won a tournament, ending his drought. I have no idea how him and that tennis player are doing, but I am ballparking they are NOT together.
78) I would be more interested in the Baylor and TCU coaching fight if one hadn’t proven to us that they DID just have a weak schedule in their video game like offense and the other didn’t have a losing record in a weak conference after being preseason ranked. You both suck.
79) The Twins sign HUGHES. All prayers are answered. Second big signing of the week for the ball club and we STILL need to utilize Google.
80) Lionel Hollins says he is ready to return to coaching. Not sure what he means. It is not like he is Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden, or Phil Jackson. We are not WAITING for you to return. YOU are waiting for a job offer.
81) Lindsey mentioned that it might be fun to go on FB and read all of the Broncos comments during games since I am a hater. It sounds like a lot of effort. I am a Twitter guy. AND I don’t need more distractions than I already have.
82) Julianna Pena is the first UFC women’s champion. Is this about the show? Because I thought Ronda Rousey was already kicking everyone’s ass. Confused, but don’t want to know. We are in college basketball season. I have no time outside of work, my girl, and my sports schedule.
82a) Dammit. I just mentioned Rousey, meaning I MUST post the pic.
83) I am surprised that my colleague, Bob, didn’t email me about UCLA winning against USC. I count on you, Bob. Slacker.
84) I THINK I read this right. Did a mascot really get carted off the field on a stretcher? Yes, he did.
85) That Ed Norton Droid commercial is pretty cool, and I am his biggest fan, but wasn’t that already done in some respect? Something about a TV provider, a train, getting thrown in a ditch. Dammit. You know what I am talking about, right?
86) My favorite excuse on a long drinking day is that “I was left unattended.”
87) Florida fired their OC today. Yeah, that is BS. Fire the guy one rung below to make it look like you are making changes, but don’t fire the guy who is the problem. How are you doing over there, Hayter?
88) Matt Simms. Geno Smith. Rex Ryan is making a QB change. Does anyone care? I will continue to talk about this if you would like, but A) Rex Ryan is an idiot B) Geno Smith has not showed ONE stat to indicate this is just a learning rookie experience.
89) Sorry about the quality of the picture. I hung out with this guy last night. Adam is not only one of my favorite new friends, and not only wore an Argyle sweater, but ALSO had Argyle socks blazing too. Boom goes the dynamite.
90) When visiting a new town, you know my rule. Adjective-Animal. Well, Fort Collins has the Drunken Monkey, and the Fillerbuster was there. Here you go.
91) Rickey Henderson could not attend unfortunately.
92) If you do not get that joke at this point, then you need to read pretty much the last 200 blogs.
93) Did I just see Knowshon Moreno crying? For no reason? Hold on. I bet you Deadspin has already picked it up. Be right back.
94) Wow. They didn’t have it yet. Deadspin. You are slacking even know it just happened about 45 seconds ago.
94a) Checked again. It took them 3 minutes to post. Sorry for delay.
95) In my trip to Fort Collins, I asked the obvious question. “Why is there an A on the mountain?” Apparently they used to be the Aggies, and that explains my confusion about the Aggie Theater.
96) …which has been nominated the best venue in Fort Collins the last 12 years. Good job, and I didn’t really notice any other live music venues in the town.
97) That is it. I would like to go watch the end of the first half of the Chiefs-Broncos game in peace. Hope you enjoyed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.