Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
Not on the clock. Games are starting in 45 minutes. I obviously won’t finish before then, so I am just going to write this and that during commercials until I am done relatively.
Let’s turn and burn.
1) Trey Burke. You are the man. What you did in the second half was the definition of putting a team on your back. Kansas is still rubbing its head as to what went wrong. They were up 14-16 points with 6:50 left and blew it. I would have expected that if the roles were reversed referencing team experience. But, one of the more experienced good teams in the tournament froze up. While everyone is lauding Trey Burke over the next day, let’s remember one thing. Michigan would have been down 25 if it wasn’t for the play of freshman Mitch McGary. The kid played like a stud in the game, and especially in the first half, to keep them around.
2) Ben Howland has been fired from his UCLA gig. Wow, I am sorry, UCLA. Three Final Fours, a little lull, but then a #1 recruiting class and a surprising Pac-12 regular season title? Oh, and every kid who stayed for 4 years graduated. If you are looking for the days of John Wooden, they are gone. No one can do what he did because no one stays in school anymore. Case in point. Do you think Ben would have been OK if Jrue Holiday, Kevin Love, and friends would have stayed another year? That is out of his control, Calipari pulled a youngster miracle last year, and you are getting rid of a good coach who simply guessed wrong on a few kids’ attitudes.
3) UCLA hired Steve Alford. Great hire. He is young, smart, and proved at New Mexico that he can turn around a program. Nice cupboard to walk into, Steve. I hear he is already calling Shabazz nonstop. Stay ONE year, kid. One year.
4) Hilarious. They are doing pregame. They just informed us that they predict Jim Boeheim will play a 2-3 zone today. That is crazy talk.
5) The Louisville-Oregon game went pretty much according to what was expected. A little faster, a little taller, a little better. It reminded me of the best football team outside the SEC making the championship and then getting outclassed. Oregon had Russ Smith AND Peyton Siva in foul trouble and still couldn’t figure out a way.
6) I am still wondering what the hell happened in the Duke-Michigan State game. Gary Harris, a freshman, was a big reason why Michigan State made it this far. He picked a hell of a time to finally act like a freshman. He was 2-11, 0-3 from far, and had a couple really dumb late fouls to keep them out of arm’s reach.
7) In the FGCU-UF game, that also went according to plan pretty much. FGCU hung around a little longer at the end then I thought they would, but overall you had a fast, emotional start, an uppercut reply from the favorite, and then an exhibition in slightly different talent levels.
8) If you watched the Cuse-Marquette game and thought that freshman Michael Carter-Williams had a different look in his eye, you might have thought he has become a mature, sophomore. You would be wrong. His families’ house burned down last week. It actually did. Really.
9) The story on Vander-Blue in pregame was pretty riveting.
10) I don’t know if they HAVE to do it or if it is sarcastic, but I would like to thank Chevrolet for giving us a warning to not use their car, the Sonic, as a skateboard.
11) I LOVE the Sears commercial where they pretend that it is a new reality show “where two must now dance as one,” and then the chick runs into a washer appliance. I am also very easily entertained.
12) I concur with Pat Riley. STFU, Danny Ainge. Why ARE you complaining about a game not involving your team? And you WERE a cry baby back in the day, Danny.
13) Yay. Another new AT&T commercial, where the smartass dude has to deal with Magic, Larry, Bill, and Kareem.
14) I am easy to track during weekends these days. Last weekend? March Madness. This weekend? March Madness. Next weekend? March Madness. The following weekend? The Masters.
15) You know you are have the gambling itch when someone takes your advice on a bet that does not involve your money, and you STILL get a huge rush.
16) I made money down the block mowing lawns when I was a kid. I am glad they didn’t have these fancy four wheels all turning ones that they do now. Looks confusing, and I am 40. I remember mowing the lawn sometimes with a NON motorized one. It was a workout to me, and I played Rocky music in the background.
17) I am in sales. Thanks to Doug Gottlieb for busting out the “coffee is for closers” line, otherwise known as the Rocky scene for salespeople. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xkqxh_coffee-is-for-closers_news#.UVdOuZNQGAg
18) Lindsey is younger than me. Therefore, there finally was a joke that she didn’t get on Tosh. It involved this INXS video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFUEgFdP5zE
19) Syracuse is starting fast. Reason, they are fighting like MAD on the one thing they can’t match Marquette on. Offensive rebounding.
20) I am not a female comic kind of guy. That being said, I caught some of this chick’s performance last night on Comedy Central. It was pretty funny. http://www.comedycentral.com/comedians/amy-schumer
21) I feel bad, but it is just a different state of mind I guess. Lindsey invited me to her Easter family thing tomorrow. I check the game times and declined. I suppose I am not aware of getting together for Easter because for my entire life, Easter is college basketball day. Christmas is NBA basketball. Thanksgiving is NFL football. It goes on and on. LOVED it.
22) She lost today, and rarely I would care less about women’s basketball, but it did remind me of the story I heard a couple years. Simply, it is one of the best basketball players going to UCONN, leaving because of family, and then going to NOT powerhouse Delaware to continue to stay close. I will use the word “touching.” http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/sports/college/womensbasketball/story/2012-03-05/elena-delle-done-lifts-delaware-to-new-heights/53420806/1
23) A-Rod is evidently working out. No one cares except the guy writing his overpriced checks.
24) The Knicks have won seven in a row and JR Smith was a star last night? Ugghhh.
25) The state of Oregon would have to lock me up if I was ANYWHERE close to THIS incident. Thanks for submitting, Matt. http://www.azcentral.com/news/free/20130329oregon-bees-crash-hives-beekeepers.html
26) Interesting that traditionally the Super Bowl champion opens the NFL season on a Thursday, but that the city of Baltimore doesn’t have the resources to have a Ravens game AND Orioles game on the same night, which is what would happen.
27) I am not into kids, but this is funny. http://pinterest.com/pin/31525266114030403/
28) Since the interim basketball coach for St. Louis is in the top five for coach of the year and the incumbent is deceased, any chance they can offer him a contract?
29) Hey, Marquette just hit double digits…with 5:45 left in the first half.
30) Elite 8 games tend to be underwhelming, as the cream rises to the top and then crush the Cinderellas. I think I will be 90, in an old folks home, still telling the story of the 1992 Kentucky-Duke game. For the youngsters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY-iq58_oz4
31) Hey, Acura. I am tired of the “luxury house, luxury this, luxury that” commercial.
32) RGIII is ahead of schedule in his rehab…until he gets clocked in the read-option in the third game NEXT year.
33) Joe Gibbs Racing had some streak going on. JGR also brought on Mark Martin to replace Danny Hamlin, who has a broken back. My thoughts? The #11 is my lucky number, Mark Martin is really old, a broken back sounds REALLY painful, and you are now up to date on NASCAR.
34) Ben Howland gets fired, and the guy who replaced him, Jamie Dixon at Pittsburgh, gets a new contract. Unless me and Rip Van Winkle BOTH fell asleep, I don’t believe that Dixon has won anything either.
35) I would comment on UCONN women’s basketball winning by 68 points, but I believe I already gave you a women’s basketball update.
36) Was I the only person rooting for this guy? http://espn.go.com/dallas/nba/story/_/id/9087865/chris-wright-playing-multiple-sclerosis-get-2nd-10-day-contract-dallas-mavericks
37) We were all complaining about Liberty getting in the tourney with 20 losses. They beat FGCU TWICE this season.
38) Thanks, Enterprise, for telling us that one of your employees thought of the “we’ll pick you up” idea. You mean they were lazy…It is like the gym I used to belong to that offered valet parking.
39) I am a dude, and therefore don’t know what goes on at wedding/ baby showers. Lindsey’s upstairs neighbor had one last weekend. I don’t know what they were doing, but it sounded like Metta World Peace and Floyd Mayweather got a case of Mad Dog and were playing Twister.
40) I was thinking about matchups involving funny mascots. When does South Carolina and Wichita State play in anything? I want to go (you are on your own to figure out that joke).
41) I think I have a business plan. A guy who is in love and likes sports could come to me and we could break down the best days of the year to get married. Not only am I an ex-bartender, but I could literally break down what sporting events they would miss or not miss off the top of my head. We could develop a pecking order.
42) I always want NCAA teams to play bad in the first half so I get to hear Sir Charles say the word “terrible.”
43) The best part of last week’s Indiana-Temple game was the Mark Macon reference. I LOVED that guy back in the day.
44) A shout out to my colleague and good friend, Brian. I think it is kind of early to figure out a winner, but he told me if Louisville and Michigan both won, that he would win our company pool. So, I guess everyone and their mother had Gonzaga, Miami, Georgetown, Indiana, Kansas, New Mexico, and Michigan State. Congrats, and confused.
45) Seriously, I am by myself blogging and watching basketball, and I AGAIN laughed at one of those AT&T kid commercials (it was the candy island one this time).
46) I am not sure if she is patronizing me or actually likes the line, but when a guy makes a deep three, I always ask Lindsey “what is his range?” and she says “when he enters the gym.” I look away so I don’t see any rolling of the eyes.
47) After a couple drinks, and feeding her post-Vegas new blackjack addiction on her iPad, Lindsey and I have developed old people names, with voices. I am Verne, and she is Gertrude. It is really funny late at night after some booze.
48) It is halftime. I will say that the first half of the Syracuse-Marquette game was one of the uglier halves of the year, quality wise. I will write it off as “they are in the same conference, so therefore they know each other VERY well.” Yeah.
49) I am a fan of Robot Chicken. I am not saying that this is funniest one, and I am not saying this is the worst one. I am just saying this made me laugh late Saturday night. http://video.adultswim.com/robot-chicken/batmonkey.html
50) Pitino has never lost in the Sweet Sixteen. Ever. That is pretty freaking impressive. Even more impressive is that he is about 8-2 against the spread ALSO in those games.
51) Now you know. Of ALL internet activity, 49% are human. The rest are robots who give my hotmail LOTS of action.
52) I would like to stop all Derek Jeter injury updates until the season actually begins. I feel like Brett Favre is coming out of retirement or at least practicing with high school kids on some random Mississippi football field with all of this media coverage.
53) Ed Reed followed the recent trend, and took out an entire page ad to thank Baltimore fans. I can’t WAIT to actually do something with my life for 15 years, be the best, have the money, and then take out my OWN full page ad. Any day now…
54) Toronto might shut down Rudy Gay for the season. You are 27-45. No one cares. That is like saying that the Jacksonville Jaguars were going to shut down Justin Blackmon last year.
55) A shout out to my boy, Skyler. Sorry you didn’t make the main theme pic, but I promised that your pic would be blogged. Here you go, and an explanation would probably make it less funny. Sorry, I didn’t know how to download that funny as hell video of you getting slapped in the face.
56) Trust me, whatever the reason he got that photo taken, he is a straight up, cool cat, and one of my favorite people to drink with in my 40 years on this earth.
57) Most teams look at a streak ending and try and figure out how to make sure that its end doesn’t make you go the other way. The Heat just need to look at the cushion in the Eastern Conference, the other teams on that side, and are pretty much just trying to figure out when to shut everyone down. They have 15 losses. There are no records in danger. I wish Kevin Garnett would stay healthy so there is ONE team that could roll with them. I don’t care about their record. THEY would be dangerous in a seven game series now that Danny Granger is out for the year with the Pacers.
58) The Nuggets streak ended, but them going to Brooklyn and destroying the Nets last night should continue to keep them in the conversation of dangerous teams.
59) Little boy cries wolf. The irony. A soccer game was played in the snow last week. So, any complaining to the ref about an injury would still get a roll of the eyes, even if it was real finally. “I am ACTUALLY injured, ref! Sorry I lied the last 100 times.”
60) Ugghhh. Wichita State gets an impromptu airport speech from Tim Tebow and WINS. Wait. Shhhh. Don’t pass this along to anyone. Of ALL of the stories out there I thought would be media overblown, it was THIS one. Something like “Touch of God from Tebow helps Wichita State “shock” nation in Sweet Sixteen.” Seriously, let’s keep this quiet. Wait a minute. There hasn’t been a Jets headline in like a week. Is this a trap? What is going on? I am running outside to see if there is a meteor shower.
61) I am back. No shower, although I am still suspicious. Moving on. I am glad that Royce White is back with the Rockets on their NBDL team. The kid is scared to fly, but is too talented to not be playing basketball at some high level league. I can’t wait when he lights up that league to see the first “home only” contract.
62) Everyone is noticing all of the active things that the Atlanta Falcons are doing. Shame that their SOLID center of 14 years, Todd McClure, is retiring. Not a deal breaker, but definitely not a HELP to break your “good during the regular season, but then sucking in the playoff” trend.
63) I wouldn’t buy a tiny car, but if I did, I would buy a Fiat 500. That commercial where they all head off the cliffs into the water with that cool song playing has me SOLD. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi80LapfFI8
64) Virgil Trucks dies this week at 95. I don’t know his family situation, but check out THIS rap for the old folks home. He threw TWO no-hitters in a season, AND is the ONLY player EVER to throw a complete game no hitter against the Yankees. By the way, the year he threw those two no hitters? His team was a bad, last place team. Bad. Ass.
65) Does any other dude sometimes randomly sing that song from the commercial from Subway about pepperoni? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTLFJI6BHVE
66) Ex-Niners OT Kwame Harris has told CNN that he is gay and was while a player. Good for him, I hope this inspires present players to come out, I hope society treats this as an advancement, and any player who has a problem with it needs to check themselves. Even the person we probably WOULDN’T expect to be cool is being proactive. The Gronk has come out and said he would accept a gay teammate.
67) How come Tiger gets all of this heat when he misses a cut, but Phil is just forgotten in the media coverage if HE misses it? He either missed the cut, or really wanted to check out these basketball games this weekend.
68) Just so you know where I stand. I think that Chicago’s “unbeaten streak” at the beginning of the season is less impressive than the Penguins present “winning streak.” Are we all streaked out? Geez. The freaking RECORD all time is 17 for “winning streaks.” Come on, media. AND, they are doing most of this without Malkin. Ugghhh.
69) I am embarrassed. When trying to find “pinkish hue” in Seinfeld, I mixed up the terms “fix up” and “set up.” Don’t know the scene? You MUST see it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16nYW1T0Wbs
70) I hope you don’t feel bad for FGCU losing to UF. Feel bad for the players, but the coach, Andy Enfield, goes home to a supermodel, a packed bank account from a sold company, and job offers to better schools. They will be just fine.
71) Speaking of “fine,” shut up Bernie. Your school is trying to make a run. Show some spirit, and hold off on your defamation suits.
72) Bothered by all of the new NFL rules?
73) Bad day? Here are 13 steps. I will tell you they start slow, but the last couple are awesome. Stay focused. http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/13-simple-steps-to-get-you-through-a-rough-day
74) Marquette and Syracuse are winding down. I feel like during this tournament that somehow there are two things that I thought everyone knew that apparently NO one knows. Tebow gave that speech, and Boeheim plays a 2-3 zone.
75) George Mason will pay $1 mil to exit CAA and go to A-10. With the Big East pretty much just hanging it up and calling themselves America’s something or other with lesser teams, can we just make the A-10 the replacement in the “Big 6?” That thing has quietly become LOADED in basketball.
76) The WWE has just joined the Sandy efforts in the northeast. I suppose this is like when a chair hits a wrestler in the 80’s, and it takes them a second or two to react. Good job, WWE.
77) Where do I buy a Marquette Final Four hat? I like to confuse people.
78) Yay. ANOTHER new AT&T commercial with the old school bball guys. “Slow break?” Larry Bird? Hilarious.
79) This is hilarious. Don’t worry. I won’t post a picture of Courtney Cox too.
80) This is hilarious also. Good job, Ice…man. Mr. Iceman, to you.
81) Kenny Smith said it best when discussing the Cuse-Marquette matchup. “It doesn’t matter if you play a zone. It matters WHO is playing in that zone.”
82) If I had to compare myself with a sports announcer, it would be Doug Gottlieb. He looks very unlikable, but knows his stuff. Yes, I know I am not very likable.
83) The Steelers have announced that James Harrison is not in their plans. I just hope that Manti Te’o is ALSO not in their plans.
84) I don’t like chick shows or movies, but I will say this. New Girl is kind of funny, and I am not bothered that Lindsey likes it so much. I pretend not to pay attention. While we are on the subject, The Mindy Project is ok also. See how I compromise? Actually, I guess I am not, since I have not told her these things directly yet.
85) The show Men At Work is coming back. About time. Check it out. Two shows that are not popular you need to check out are Rules of Engagement and Men At Work.
86) Kordell Stewart is cutting ties with reality show star Porsha Williams. I guess you could say he “slashed” her. Hardy har har.
87) I hate the Ravens, but the Michael Huff signing to go aside with the Elvis Dumveril non late fax contract should keep people out of the Inner Harbor shark tank.
88) Forbes has said that MLB franchise values are at a historic high. This means we can expect a strike in the next two years. The NHL model…
89) Tyrann Mathieu attended pro day for his university, but didn’t work out again. I think that teams are more waiting on your Wonderlic score, bro.
90) Am I the only one who is sad that Tim McCarver is stepping down as an analyst? Baseball is old school, traditional, and I admit I only go outside the stats when it is late September. That being said, Tim made it extra special IN September.
91) I am posting this just because the OSU-Wichita State game is about to tip: http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20130328/SPORTS/303280107/Big-Show-tracks-Big-Dance-Wrestler-rooting-Wichita-State
92) The grass is green, the sky is blue, and UCONN resigned their women’s basketball coach. Yeah, they have been doing pretty good.
93) Detroit Lions safety Amari Spivey has been arrested for domestic abuse. Two more, and I will think about you for the Rant Squad. You need three. Sorry. Go buy a hooker or something.
94) Josh Pastner, Memphis bball head coach, has agreed to a contract extension. Why not? He gets a recruiting class that is always top ten, he plays in a conference that has no one, and he hasn’t won anything. And they want to pay me MORE? Sure. Where do I sign?
95) I have cleared the list, and would like to enjoy the second game. I am checking out. I hope you enjoyed, and am VERY impressed if you read all 95 hooks. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.
96) Just a tagline. I am taking off tomorrow…probably. Anyway, no guarantees either way. Late.