Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. The Pacers-Heat game starts in an hour. Let’s turn and burn.
1) First let’s review Game 1 of the Pacers-Heat on Wednesday. As always, breakdowns are on sites already. Here are my random comments. Chris Anderson won that game for the Heat. He played fantastic in limited minutes and gave them the inside presence the Heat needed. Ray Allen missing that free throw was almost as crazy as that final shot to tie the score. The more deserving team won that game no matter HOW you break down that last second over play by George. Vogel has been criticized for not having Hibbert on the floor on the final play. I think he should be no matter how he spins that Bosh was on the floor and can shoot it from 3. Hibbert should have been on the court. David West having to sit in the third quarter really took Indiana down a notch. When your strength against the opposing team is not on the court, all advantage goes away. Finally, George Hill’s handle in the third and fourth quarter was WAY too shaky.
2) I don’t know if the Pacers can rebound tonight in Miami. I kind of feel like the last game WAS their shot. That being said, the game still will be close, and this still will be a great series even IF they go down 2-0. 1-1 would be better though going back to Indiana.
3) Maybe it is just me being a basketball junkie, but I am pretty excited about this upcoming NBA draft. Lots of interesting draft picks in the first round, and some pretty solid players that will go in the second.
4) Sad for Niners fans that Michael Crabtree has a torn Achilles, but they have enough weapons to not sweat it THAT much. It might cost them one win in a probable 11,12, or 13 win season.
5) We found out that Melo had a slight tear in the shoulder late in the season. THAT was why he couldn’t pass the ball. It all makes sense now.
6) I hear that Lindsey being away means that I am supposed to go to strip clubs and other places while she is gone in Europe. I am blogging and watching bball on my couch. Different strokes for different folks.
7) I didn’t exactly dress up the solos that much, but I didn’t do bad on the keys playing ten bumps with the company band at our annual meeting considering I don’t own a keyboard at this juncture. Hit the chords though. I need a freaking weight sensitive Roland, Mr. Paycheck. It is just wrong that my fingers don’t have something to jam on.
8) Something happened with the NASCAR Hall of Fame. Feel free to Google it. I am no help.
9) This Roy Hibbert-Shane Battier public feud is dumb. It will also hurt your Presidential chances, Shane, in 25 years. Both of you be quiet, please. That was like every other play in the late 80’s, early 90’s. It is PLAYOFF basketball, and glad 2013 is catching up to the good ole days of too short of shorts.
10) Hangover III is now out. I want to know how they got a giraffe ten times more than I wanted to know how a tiger got in their bathroom, but Lindsey will be mad if I go see it, and if it sucks, I don’t want to have to play it off like Jerry did to Elaine that one time.
11) Am I a smarter person since my work banned the Fox Sports website? I think so. Leave Deadspin alone, work.
12) Old school Rant Squad member Jose Canseco realized he was about to be terminated due to boredom, so he went out and got busted for sexual assault. I am proud of both you and Chad Johnson for upping the ante to the new blood on the squad. We always need leadership and arrests.
13) The Avs hired Patrick Roy as their new coach. I like the hire, except that his boss was his friend, colleague, and buddy when they played together. I hope Joe acts like the boss when conflict arises. Otherwise, this is a disaster waiting to happen and a hell of a gamble.
14) Lindsey just skyped me. She didn’t know who played tonight because they don’t show basketball over there. I want to go visit, but obviously will have to go in July, August, September, or October. Otherwise, I would be pissed.
15) An 80 year old Japanese man just became to reach the peak of Everest. Every time I hear about someone doing Everest and me thinking about being active this weekend and playing 18 holes of golf and going hike 3 hours on a very much smaller mountain WHILE sitting on my couch writing this, I feel slightly lazy. Kind of the same lazy as me being at a brunch and having drinks and seeing a runner go by. You GO, people. Good job. I always yell ” I went to the gym YESTERDAY!”
16) I HOPE it was cough medicine, because if Cowboys Josh Brent is already boozing after killing a teammate, then that dude has a serious problem. Shame.
17) Are we on SIX? Is Fast and the Furious trying to catch Friday the 13th in sequels? They are about equal in quality, so I guess it is fair. When I was a young person, I just watched Friday the 13th movies because I knew at least two boob shots would be coming before everyone started dying. We didn’t HAVE the internet, people.
18) If I make game comments, the Skype call put me a little behind. Game is starting, so I might make some observations.
19) Another thing about the Heat-Pacers series. I said the Pacers could win if LeBron doesn’t do crazy stuff. I think a last second shot in OT and a triple double qualify as crazy stuff.
20) In case anyone cares, Red Sox P Clay Buchholz is possibly the quietest 7-0 I have ever seen in MLB for a major club in a big market. Be honest. Did YOU know that?
21) The Red Wings are up 3-1 now. This is crazy what they are doing, and I think it is ALL due to me continually showing my work colleague, Ponto, in his crazy golf hat. So, to keep the luck going, here you go again.
22) The New York Rangers won, but are still down 3-1. This is just delaying the inevitable, but nice effort.
23) Weird watching the beginning of this game and seeing Paul George get burned for overplaying LeBron in one of the first possessions right AFTER getting burned doing the same thing at the END of the game in OT. Paul, are you reading the correct scouting report?
24) The only problem about going to a during the week work event and planning on leaving after having the two allotted free drink tickets is accidentally hanging out with the person who HAS the roll of tickets. I still made work at 6:45 for the record on Memorial Day weekend Friday. I am a work hard-play hard prototype.
25) Tyrann Mathieu signed with the Cards. The kid is loopy, but this could still be the STEAL of the draft this year. If you don’t believe me and only read headlines, you didn’t watch LSU games the year before last. Dude is a stud. Just put down the pipe, bro.
26) In case you would like to tell your friends useless stats, we just found out that long fired ex-coach Charlie Weis was paid more than the present coach, Chip Kelly, in 2011. Interesting.
27) I just saw a made corner shot by Dwayne Wade leaning into a foul 19 feet from the rim that was ridiculous.
28) I think we should ban Don Mattingly getting fired headlines until the media knows more.
29) I think that KFC should come out with a chicken called the Sergio Garcia just to mess with the Spaniard. It can be like that Ben and Jerry’s.
30) Danny Ainge has told the Nets they can’t talk to Doc Rivers. Danny Ainge is still trying to figure out how he became the 2000’s basketball version of the 90’s Braves and only has ONE championship with that loaded roster.
31) Dibs to AT&T. Your kid commercials made a comeback after a few bad showings. The Infinity one begs for White Men Can’t Jump Jokes, and the Change Machine/ Puppy Brother were on their game. Boom goes the dynamite.
32) The Pens scoring FOUR goals against the Sens the other night was not only an example of their line depth, but a sign that this team will advance.
33) Seriously, no offense to Marv Albert. He is one of the voices of basketball. But, can someone send me the Hubie Brown schedule so I know when to get excited?
34) I was SO surprised to hear that neither Sanchez or Smith were sharp in early Jets workouts. I was MORE surprised that the wire picked it up. That is like saying the grass is green and the sky is blue.
35) Dibs to the mayor of San Fran for giving Stephen Curry the keys to the city. Thanks for also calling him Steve Curry. http://deadspin.com/mayor-of-san-francisco-calls-steph-curry-steve-curry-509393121
36) Paul George just got his second foul in the first quarter. Not good, and sucks that the Pacers had a ten point lead when it happened.
37) The local Denver sports station was doing worse national anthems of all time. How can ANYONE compete with Carl Lewis in 1993? Even the people who forgot the words. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kU9XwcOIfI
38) What is sad is tomorrow’s rant might have MORE hooks than tonight. Sorry. I have a lot of things going on in my noggin and a legal pad in my pocket every second of the day.
39) The Wilkins-Bird game turned 25 this week. If you don’t know what I am talking about, you either don’t like bball or are under the age of 35.
40) Kevin Durant sure likes tatts, and gives a lot of money to meaningful causes like the OKC tornado. He should find a tatt guy who can spell though. Look for it. It is there. I will give you a hint. It is what I am NOT. http://deadspin.com/kevin-durants-tattoo-might-not-have-a-misspelled-word-509493799
41) I wonder if The Great One can drink as well as he played hockey. http://deadspin.com/hey-its-drunk-wayne-gretzky-509273074
42) Finishing today’s Deadspin assault, this must feel horrible if you are a high school goalkeeper. Horrible. Wait until AFTER the play to celebrate, please. http://deadspin.com/the-way-this-hs-goalkeeper-loses-state-soccer-champions-509210151
43) My newly adopted San Jose Sharks (until the finals against Pittsburgh) are down 3-2 to those damn suddenly hot Kings, but I am not losing faith. Yet. Damn you, Jonathan Quick.
44) Jeers to the French Open seeding committee. How the HELL do you line up Djokovic and Nadal in the semi’s, when the title of this thing 20 years from now could BE the NADAL Open? Stop going by points. Nadal missed some time due to injury (or just waiting until this tournament rolled around again). He has SEVEN titles. Just rank him #1 until he retires, you idiots.
45) Congrats to the Denver lacrosse squad for making the final four again in Philly. UVA is not in it (DU’s last final four loss), perennial powerhouse Syracuse actually has NEW guys in this final four, DU brought in a coach who had won it already to bring this squad to the big time, and I think we all have to agree that this mission is accomplished. They were the first team to MAKE the final four west of the Mississippi two years ago. Nice job, and a shout out to my colleagues, good friends, and DU grads, Briscoe and Cerk.
46) Great. Luck never ends. Dammit. A-Rod is chilling out probably doing some PED’s while injured, and his $15 million house sells for $30 million this week. Drop me a line, A-Rod. I will forget every negative thing I have said about you, won’t think about the money, and will get you drunk as hell before asking for some funds.
47) Big Ben. I am the most diehard fan you Steelers could have. BUT, can you stop commenting on the talented QB class of 2012 and how they still might fail UNTIL you win another one, or at least make the freaking playoffs?
48) I read an article in ESPN Mag about Tom Brady that made me like him more. You should read it, too. Yes, Logan, I will also watch that thing you sent me on Twitter about something that will make me hate Jay Cutler less. I don’t think it happens, but I will give it a shot. Duke sucks. http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9227157/new-england-patriots-quarterback-tom-brady-leads-charmed-life-espn-magazine
49) Phil Jackson would take Bill Russell over Michael Jordan in an all time draft. Me too, IF we take the time they played, Zen Master. Bill Russell would not be as effective in today’s age. Michael would have OWNED the 60’s more than he owned the 90’s.
50) The Rockies are amazingly above .500 still. Don’t get too happy, Rocks fans. Sorry. OPS overall? Highest in NL. .769. OPS + (takes in account league and venue)? 3% LESS than the league average. I am not buying in, and that has NOTHING to do with my bitterness about the Phillies.
51) Mike Trout hits for a cycle. Mike Trout hits a 463 ft home run. Dude. Bryce. Can you DO something so I don’t expect an email from my brother? We have a contest that will run your entire careers. Saddle up, Bryce.
52) VERY quietly, Tarik Black transferred to KU. Who is he? He was a decent player for Memphis basketball. You combine them getting Wiggins and the fact that Black can immediately play next year, and this should make my boy Scott’s wife, Emily, VERY happy. What a SILENT reload, Bill Self. Fancy.
53) I am using the term “ping” a LOT lately…even in work emails. I will say “Thanks for the response, and I will ping you when that action item is complete.” I think I am leaving it open whether I will call or email them. Weird.
54) I might watch Déjà vu again tonight. Chase Utley is on the DL again as of today. Fancy again.
55) Tim Duncan was the only big man to make the All-NBA team, unless you count Kevin Durant, who plays the 3. I have complained about this for YEARS. When putting together an all star team, I want the best player at EACH position, NOT the best 5 players. I want to visualize them on the court and working together, and having a PF at the center spot is not exactly fulfilling that idea.
56) In case you thought Miguel Cabrera was a blip on the radar, I will let you know that he has 55 RBI’s already this year, and Hack Wilson just shifted in his grave.
57) That is it. We are middle of the second quarter of the game, and I am hungry. Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading, tell your friends, and have a great Memorial Day weekend. I WILL be blogging tomorrow before making my first trip to Littleton, Colorado to see my good friend, Kyle, who I haven’t seen in years. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN (.289/12/23/.386 (these numbers are DROPPING big time, BRYCE) question, bro. Peace.
57a) Indiana is up ten. Turn ON this game. Now.