Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Evening rant. Speed version as there is just too much on the paper and not enough hours in the day. Let’s turn and burn.
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1) Greetings and salutations. This is a Sunday rant, minus the pics, that is posted on Monday. I was gone all weekend and didn’t go on laptop once amazingly, but of course kept my notes.
2) Read Mr. Royal’s thing on Goodell. Great freaking stuff.
3) Marshawn Lynch finally reports with “financial concessions.” Maybe someone pinched him and told him A) it is $30k/day B) the deal he signed in 2012 wasn’t too bad. A contract is a freaking contract.
4) If the Rays were debating on their amazing comeback playoff position, and only were going to trade David Price if a monster deal came along, they saw something I didn’t. Not much of a monster.
5) The Yankees and Red Sox trading players and having people sign with the other one is like against everything I grew up believing.
6) And how freaking weird is it that the Red Sox are sellers. So, the Phillies AND Red Sox are sellers. Geez. All we need is Houston and Miami to be leading their division at this time of year and we are ALL messed up.
7) I like that Colin Cowherd just named his show “New Football Show.”
8) My notes from my mountain trip will be random as all my stuff always is.
9) Tequila’s in Glenwood Springs own the largest plates I have ever seen, and if you go with someone else, just admit it is better for the kids in Ethiopia if you split one entrée.
10) Adventure Park is the best kept mountain secret if you like fun rides. The Alpine Coaster is twice as good as all alpine slides you have done combined.
Note this person is using the brakes, which you don’t need to use technically: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMRnL9ROtYw This looks like a normal swing until you are standing in line watching and realizing the ride is built ON a mountain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MWwcC52j0g Rollercoaster built on the edge of a valley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Srn58TZo-0
11) Been a while since we have all agreed that the A’s are the odds on favorites to win it all post trade deadline. Maybe I WILL get a Moneyball II.
12) Do you realize the Tigers now have THREE past Cy Young winners on their team?
13) I have definitively decided my favorite burger EVER is from Justice Snow’s in Aspen. Before you get to asking me what I paid, know that ALL entrees and appetizers are pretty much above $20 on the menu (typical in Aspen), BUT since they have a cow farm like a couple blocks down, the burger is ALWAYS $10 daily and their happy hour is like $4.00 for a beer and shot. You have to know where to find the deals, people. They are there.
14) I am only a consultant, but the football lines for the first weekend being released is kind of exciting.
15) Actually, REALLY exciting. Football is almost here.
16) Been a couple years and my fiancée is the biggest Sooner fan I know. Been a couple years since they were preseason top 5. And I thought she cared BEFORE about them. This year is going to be NUTS.
17) Google “Grantland decline of NYC hoops.” FANTASTIC article.
18) The Square Grouper. Thanks for opening a couple years ago. You are officially my favorite bar there. And decent food. And relatively cheap drinks. And I can have some drinks and play your piano for an hour on a Saturday like I did last night.
19) I wrote a new song. I can’t rekindle it as I don’t own a Roland yet. But it was a fantastic song. Trust me. At least it was fantastic Saturday night.
20) Lindsey keeps me hip. My men’s magazines let me also know what is going on. Taking both of those sources, I will tell you that Dating Naked is an absolutely ridiculous show. All levels. Even figuring in the almost nudity.
21) Seriously, are they just telling us SOMETHING about Johnny Manziel EVERY day? I am going to hurt someone pretty soon. They actually had an article about him LEARNING? It is like watching someone’s updates on Facebook. “Johnny Manziel is washing his clothes.” Ugghhh.
22) Two “g’s,” and three “h’s.” Official spelling, people. I made the rules.
23) Thoughts and prayers to you, Dustin Johnson. I had a joke initially in here that was semi funny, but decided I was crossing the line and that simply wishing him well in getting better from a weed and coke habit was probably a little classier. Good luck, Dustin. The tour will definitely miss you, along with our Ryder Cup team on a course that caters to you.
24) Cerk and Colleen were fun to hang out with in Aspen, and they got up early to run both days. Not sure when their off days are, but they definitely were not lazy on the weekend.
25) Of course, they DID crash pretty early both nights-lol.
26) Just like I want the loser championship t-shirts of every sport, I also want one of those 10,000 A’s Cespedes shirts they made.
27) My eternal El Tigre optimism would be fine if he broke his leg or got a concussion. The fact that he withdrew with a back injury, and the fact that you only have one back, and the fact that it is THAT back, tells me this fairy tale MIGHT be about done. Mike Douglas would be sad.
28) Not only do the Phillies suck, and not only can they not succeed in trading their ace, but now he is probably done for the year. This sucks. I could only be more surprised if Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins suddenly played like they were paid.
29) Hi, Debbie (Lindsey’s mom). Thanks for reading as always. You rock.
30) I am diehard Steelers. If any of you think that Ben will not retire in black and gold, then you are smoking something. He will. He won’t be running out of bounds for Seattle like Franco Harris. As much new talent at QB that is coming into the league, I have a feeling a couple years from now, you will still have Peyton, Brees, Big Ben, and Brady as some of the primary QB’s in the league.
31) *****Starred because this is a Monday addition to the Sunday rant. Not YOU, Andy Dalton/ maybe the worse player who has achieved nothing but get IN the playoffs to get a 6 years/ $115 million deal. Atrocious.
32) Deadspin is so fantastic. They have something embarrassing someone did ten minutes after it happened, or quality articles like this on the details of Tyron Smith’s 49ers contract. http://regressing.deadspin.com/tyron-smith-isnt-a-cowboy-for-life-he-just-got-screw-1613581436
33) Yes, Mr. Timberwolves owner, we know you are waiting for another 20 days or so to trade Kevin Love. Probably about the time the league allows Wiggins to be traded.
34) Play where you are WANTED, Mr. Wiggins? You are a freaking, talented PAWN in the game of basketball. You are not better than Anthony Bennett until you play some minutes. Then, we can be reasonably sure you will be better than him. Most players are.
35) Thoughts and prayers to Paul George. As I am writing this, Lindsey found the video and said I had to watch it “because I am a sports guy.” I watched the 6 seconds. I will never, ever, ever watch it again. I recommend you don’t watch it for the first time.
36) And let’s revisit the whole “play for a team outside of the NBA” issue. Cuban, you always have the floor. The Fillerbuster is FIRMLY on THIS side of the fence. The World Cup has players play who play for other club teams and it is the biggest sporting event in the world. Tough luck, NBA. If the players want to play for their country, adjust your contracts as needed, and sad if injuries occur, but let them freaking play. Just because the basketball version is 1/1,000,000 of the soccer World Cup, it still is your country.
37) So, Sergio Garcia not only can’t win a Major, not only had a three stroke lead, is not as adorable as when he runs up the fairway at the PGA, breaks someone’s expensive engagement ring, but LOSES? Ugghhh. Spelling correct. At least he plays a little quicker than his one hour practice swing routine from back in the day. Rory. You are the man these days.
38) Nick Marshall. Auburn QB. Learn your lesson, but I don’t think your guys will need you against Arkansas. Plus, we all know that “won’t start” means you will be in by the middle of the first quarter.
39) I had on my list “Goodell-Rice.” I think Mr. Royal said it in the best way.
40) But, I DID make up a joke I find very funny. “Why didn’t Ray Rice go into sales? He doesn’t like elevator speeches.” I just chuckled again. It is hilarious.
41) Two episodes down. I still don’t understand what the hell is going on with HBO’s The Leftovers. Something riveting better happen and quickly. Giving it one more episode.
42) Lindsey and I are getting Netflix. We are tired of people talking about these amazing series we can’t get.
43) I don’t know how Glenwood Springs people live with the fact that the only bar open after midnight is the Brew Pub. You can’t hike and the hot springs are closed, right?
44) I HATE any things of corn in ANY of my food, and will pick them out of my food, but I will devour decent corn on the cob like a freaking machine. Makes no sense.
45) There is some disease going on while Lindsey watches True Blood as I blog. Her #1 dude is looking pretty rough.
46) Lindsey, as I mentioned, keeps me in the hip loop. I don’t know if I missed the boat way earlier, if they are hip, or what, but Jim Gaffigan and Louis CK are pretty funny dudes.
47) I know who Michael Strahan is. Am I supposed to know who Nicole Murphy is, besides HIS ex-fiancee? Name doesn’t ring a bell.
48) Our new neighbors like their patio SO much that we are getting irritated in how much they are out there. Can’t we get some outside quiet time? Do you all WORK?
49) Bosh is “revitalized” after James leaving. Yes, Chris. The rules haven’t changed. NOW, you will get a few more scoring options with only one ball on the court. The southern version of the Toronto Raptors with Mr. Wade trying to convince us he’s not done yet.
50) My head WHIPS around when there is a sex scene in this crazy vampire show she is watching.
51) The Cowboys send PLAYOFF tickets to season ticket holders BEFORE the season. Wow. I guess if they add the 8-8 seasons up, they could make the playoffs.
52) Last rodeo, people. Unless he wants to ride Kaepernick for all of his years, I have the feeling that Harbaugh will try to win this year, and then walk into the sunset as a 49ers coach. I think he might go somewhere else with all of this weird contract talks stalling. Just have that feeling.
53) Witness 2.0. Cleveland lawmaker. License plate movement. If I hadn’t become the biggest LeBron James fan (again) in the last month, I would make fun of this. Just send me a Colorado version of the damn thing, ok?
54) Jamie Foxx will play Mike Tyson in a biographical movie that is coming. We ALL love Jamie Foxx, and someone tell me he is lifting his ASS off right now. I won’t buy in unless he looks like Iron Mike physically. Doesn’t he have to shrink a little too?
55) Can ANYONE say anything negative about Clayton Kershaw? Anyone? 10 straight wins. Young guy. Two complete games in a row? Five complete games this year. 13-2. 1.71 ERA. 150 SO’s. .82 WHIP. Geez.
56) UGA Todd Gurley made the top ten college football players on ESPN. I am pretty sure that the “gurley” jokes ran out a few years ago. Dude is a monster.
57) I was going to comment on Winston being #1, but got overloaded with jokes. You try.
58) I finally saw the drum off between Farrell and the RHCP drummer. It was funnier than I thought. They do look VERY similar.
59) I think Dale Jr. won the turn left race today. You are reading the wrong blog if you think I have more to say on that subject.
60) Quiet headline. Zona just snagged the #19 recruit Allonzo Trier, who averages 30.8 pts per game. They are due, all. These recruiting classes WILL add up at some point.
61) Lane Kiffin says he is thankful for his Bama job. Of course, he is. I get to coach under Nick Saban, I failed at multiple head coaching jobs, and now there is no down side.
62) Today, Charlie Strong confirmed that suspensions are real and his players are idiots.
63) I think Lindsey appreciated me driving over Independence Pass today, but not sure she liked me listening to Hair Nation on Sirius the whole way in ANY way. Independence Pass is one of the prettiest drives anyone can do.
64) Ray Allen says retirement is fine with him. I think most NBA teams are saying the same thing. Says here that Cleveland pays him the minimum to ride with LeBron one last time.
65) If you are not travelling by plane, ALWAYS take red solo cups. They beat the hell out of the tiny cups in your hotel room.
66) Bon Jovi says he is committed to keeping the Bills in Buffalo, but I would get that in writing, ok, Buffalo?
67) Geez. I go to the mountains for 2 freaking days and I drop to 484 in Twitter followers. Sorry, you crazy people. I sometimes want to put my toes in a river and climb a mountain and NOT want to “tweet.”
68) How come all the dumb fan shit happens in the northeast or in northern CA? Citifield. Batting practice. Someone fell trying to get someone’s attention. It was probably a Philly fan talking shit to the Mets on a day off.
69) I would care about DBacks 1B being out for the year if they were good at all.
70) When did the Texas Rangers get SO freaking bad?
71) Are the two best sports nicknames in the history of life “The Great One” and “The Big Unit?”
72) Pretty sure if the Air Force Academy made it public that they need an inspector for cadets doing weed, raping chicks, or drinking excessively, that ONE of those things happened to SOME degree.
73) Imagine the San Francisco Giants right now with a healthy Matt Cain. Sick.
74) If I wore sandals for one full day, and then the USA got into a war with a nation, we could toss my sandals (or feet) into the battlefield and win immediately.
75) The only problem about doing “cliché” things in Aspen during the lunch hour, is that sometimes you get the bill and are confused in how things went over $100 when you had ONE drink each with three other people. Normal people HAVE to take advantage of the happy hour…and pack booze in their suitcase.
76) Cerk and Colleen own a cool dog named Dude. This dog was SO chill during our expensive lunch at the legendary Little Nell before unannounced fireworks occurred, making the dog run away. I admit it sounded like Aspen was really getting bombed. We were 25 yards away down the steps. It could have been MUCH worse. Dog found 62 minutes later during precious happy hour time in Aspen. Dude, you still owe me an hour of cheaper drinks in Aspen. Find your doggie credit card. Put it on your calendar.
77) Losing your dog is a very serious matter. Picturing me walking through arguably the richest neighborhood in the world yelling “DUDE!” is NOT a serious matter. That is just silly, and the first time I was mad at Cerk for naming his dog that.
78) You should put on your bucket list “have a drink at the Hotel Jerome.” I just did it again because we had a newbie. Classy place to visit, because most of us will never be able to afford STAYING there.
79) I am liking Andre Reed more and more every day.
80) Both hotels we stayed at had free breakfast. Neither had hangover scrambled eggs/ hot sauce/ potatoes/ etc. Hard boiled eggs? Fruit? Cereal? Yes, because I had NOTHING to drink last night while vacationing in your pretty town. Come ON.
81) Since I mentioned Cerk’s dog, Dude, I thought I would just let you know that “The Dude from The Big Lebowski threw out the first pitch at the Dodgers game the other day.
82) That is it. Hope you enjoyed or are least more informed. I think we are all happy I started late enough that this lacks pics. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.