I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W__qCFWi1KA

Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.

In no particular order of chronology or importance…

On the clock.  Lunch “break.”

11:45

Let’s turn and burn.

1)  I HAVE to start with this story even though my rants are in no order of anything.  I want to thank the idiot who sued McDonald’s back in the day for burning themselves with coffee that was “too hot.”  Slippery slope, Pandora’s Box, all that jazz.  Anyway, some NEW idiot is suing the Dallas Cowboys for having a hot, black bench outside of their training facility without any warning signs posted of how hot the bench was.  She sat down, burned her butt, and then went to the hospital, and is suing for “mental anguish and physical disfigurement.”  Un.  Be. Lieve. able.  I personally would like to sue the parking lot maker who put a parking cement thing SIDEWAYS that made me trip when I was playing freezetag with 8 year olds on the Fourth of July.

2)  Dibbs to the New York Giants.  They hosted a Giants fan at practice who lost his CO child at the movie theater during the Batman tragedy.  The fan said it was the best day of his life had July 20th not occurred.  Very cool of the team.

3)  Lindsey and I were watching the Travel Channel ranking the best water parks, the best overall roller coaster, and the tallest roller coaster.  I decided a couple things.  I would like to go on the roller coaster that ends at the casino entrance in a casino (NOT New York, New York-this one is BADASS), I want to go on the one that goes straight up and then has a small percentage of a “rollback,”  meaning you go back to the start of the ride backwards at 100 plus MPH, they must build all great rides in very small towns, Cedar Point has the best rides as they won BOTH roller coaster contests with different rides, and the indoor water park in Germany looks like it could be one hell of a weekend.  Water rides, tents, and bars.

4)  I am not “glad” Tyrann Matheiu is in rehab, but I AM glad that he is treating life as more important than football, no matter what football options he would have figured out this year.

5)  My work has instituted white noise to diminish bothersome sound.  Does my work know I am religious about SLEEPING with white noise?  I sleep in a wind tunnel.  I better come to work locked on every day.  Otherwise, I would feel like pulling a Costanza and building a nap place under my desk.

6)  Kobe is still working it.  Fresh off of his wife saying she “would never be in a relationship with anyone but a champion (five ain’t enough, girl?), Kobe is spotted in Olympic Village pulling a Ghost (meaning he accidentally “spilled” something on his shirt and had to take it off).  http://larrybrownsports.com/basketball/vanessa-bryant-furious-over-kobe-bryant-partying/148610

7)  That tall Japanese pitcher in the World Series throws heat and is pretty big, but he isn’t any Aaron Durley.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_Durley

8)  Some athletes really GET how much money they make and use it wisely.  Steelers’ Lamar Woodley found out his high school was broke and was charging every student $75/ year to participate in sports.  He saddled up with a check for $62k, and everyone from grade school on is covered for years.

9)  My sympathy goes out to the fan who died of cardiac arrest that halted the Blue Jays baseball game.  I wish his family well.  The odd thing is that this is the SECOND time someone has needed CPR at the Blue Jays crib this year.  I hate to say that things happen in three’s, but I would have a few more medical staff at games for the rest of the year.

10)  Leave it to Fox.  On their MAIN wire, they informed the public that Gabby Douglas, apparently getting teased about her Olympic hairstyle, just paid $950 for a pro stylist to redo it.  That Corn Flakes gig is going JUST FINE, if you are curious.  I look for places that move the decimal point two to the left when getting a haircut.

11)  I hear Mariah Carey will be performing before the NFL opener.  PLEASE tell me they are bringing in the same designer as that KILLER Washington Wizards dress years ago.  http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AVy5hxYFwS4/UBfQymwKH6I/AAAAAAAABFY/fJQ0CnF3t7I/s1600/t1_mariah1_all.jpg&imgrefurl=http://hollywoodallupinyoudeep.blogspot.com/2012/07/remember-when.html&h=433&w=300&sz=32&tbnid=z9GXKemkgqgy9M:&tbnh=186&tbnw=128&zoom=1&usg=__xe89xs6m_IVWkQyVbR6heLtJx8k=&docid=_jh2QNGzg1_blM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=OIcuUPjHHcyayQHX3ICIBA&ved=0CDkQ9QEwAA&dur=294

12)  Reggie Bush wants to lead the NFL in rushing.  Thanks for sharing.  I might be missing the point here, but I assume ANY RB with ANY motivation would like to do that.  Actually, the smart ones would say they would like to win the Super Bowl, and if the rushing title HAPPENED to happen, cool.

13)  Someone at Jets practice threw a fifty yard pass into a trash can.  Sanchez?  Nope.  Tebow?  Yeah, right.  Matt Simms.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHCpRoXxEx0

14)  Matt Kemp says he said “go, Dre” before getting tossed before the game.  Dude, we don’t care what the LAST thing you said was.  I assume there was some stuff said probably just before that.

15)  I am proud to report that the yellow flyer on my car that is my present social experiment has been on my window for 4 weeks and 1 day.  I examined it the other day.  The things is about to tear in half on its own.  Hold on, bro.  I am getting used to you being there.

16)  The Texas 7th grader who got barred from the Texas Pee Wee League because he is over 300 lbs shouldn’t be sad.  I assume that UT and A&M have already sent out scholarship offers.

17)  Welcome back, T.O., who will be making his first start since 2010 on Saturday.  PLEASE score, so we can see that mass between your ears make you do SOMETHING silly in the preseason game.

18)  BALCO head Victor Conte says after the Melky Cabrera ban that it might be as high as 50% of players juicing still.  He said he won’t name names.  Let me get this straight.  You won’t name names, you are ballparking 50%, but you are not involved.  Dude, let the sport HEAL.  We don’t care what you think.

18a)  I just chuckled at the last hook.  She named names.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaTbErVDQ40

19)  Brandon Jacobs says that the Jets are still the little brother in the New York football teams.  The grass is green, the sky is blue, and he is right.  Good job.  You got face time for stating the obvious.  Rings are rings, and no rings are no rings.

20)  12:10.  That is it.  Hope you enjoyed.  Will I blog tomorrow?  That is a CLOWN question, bro.  Peace.

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