Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care…just needed to get some things off my chest.
In no particular order of chronology or importance…
On the clock. Evening rant. I lied. I left the company get together way early, and know that I won’t have a rant tomorrow. This is therapeutic to me and I feel like I will blow up without clearing my list. Let’s turn and burn.
TWITTER CO-BLOGGER: @gaberoyal
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1) Greetings and salutations, people. Not a “full” rant. Just knocking out some items so I am not carrying around 2 legal pad papers on Friday. Let’s see how my co-workers feel tomorrow when I am bouncing off of walls and they are struggling. AND, tomorrow is an open bar. Pick and choose your battles, I say.
2) Dibs to my President and CEO, David. I HEARD he read my blog, but figured it was here and there. He greeted my colleague, Ben, and I and commented on Ben’s “guest blog” a week ago that Ben didn’t know about. Classic. Ben’s written comedy act from like 10 years ago. Anyway, props to the big dog for reading this thing and catching us on it. Hard to NOT work for this guy. Truly. He bleeds what we do, and I will come in at the crack of dawn every day because of that.
3) Ok. Speed version. Lance Berkman retires. I follow sports. I follow baseball. But, just like I feel that Ginobili has won the sixth man award like 15 times, I feel like Berkman already retired like 2 years ago.
4) I think Ginobili is not hurt. I think this is Pop’s saving them up plan. I like it.
5) Make your own joke. Phoenix Coyotes will change to “Arizona” Coyotes in 2014-2015. I would just go “Grand” Coyotes and call it a day.
6) Yes. I know that was not that funny. Get your own blog.
7) If Marshawn Lynch has a Twitter account, and given his short interviews, do they just give him 15 characters. I thought 140 was short.
8) NOTE: Bama just signed another 5 star recruit-CB Marlon Humphrey.
9) NOTE: Chris Walker is cleared to play at Florida. “Mark” (no pun intended) my words. They have risen to #3 WITHOUT this 6’11” stud. THAT is amazing. NOW, they have this guy. Revised Final Four. Michigan State, Wichita State, Syracuse, and Florida.
10) Sorry, Arizona. I am not sold on you.
11) Carl Edwards is not “sold” on the new Chase NASCAR format. Nor am I, and as soon as I figure out what the old format AND the new format are, I will tell you why. Something about drivers turning left a lot, 12 people advancing to something, and someone winning.
12) Richard Sherman says Peyton throws ducks. Richard, those are the fastest, most goal objective ducks that have EVER existed. Those are like laser guided swans, biatch. I can’t wait until you lose.
13) Wow. I just sounded like either a home town guy OR a Broncos fans. I didn’t mean to scare you long time readers.
13a) Great to see you tonight, Vince. You ARE the man.
14) OKC waxing the Heat was one of my favorite parts of my day. Hanging with my girlfriend and 2 work things I can’t talk about were the others. We rarely talk about games before the ASG, but that shit was decisive and a message WITHOUT Westbrook.
15) I can’t believe it took a Super Bowl to take Skittles to sign Lynch to a contract. They missed like 10 months of money, but of course I assume the hurdles are getting him into a commercial and on the mic.
16) Lindsey is great for a lot of reasons, but this is one of the many. I told her “I just need to write 10 hooks.” Then, I will be in. I am over that obviously. She just said “go.” I can’t stop and you should get a visual of my concentration when I write these things. The “read it, don’t read it” is old school, but I seriously will write this regardless of the readers.
16a) But I thanks the couple hundred who are….
17) We are going to St. John, not St. Thomas when I take my first week ever off from work in July. I don’t understand the difference. St. Something where there are beaches.
18) And World Cup games coverage.
19) Sactown (dibs Jim Rome) has unveiled their plans for a downtown arena. That still doesn’t explain why you are making your franchise player DeMarcus Cousins.
20) Chipper is retired, but still saving player in storms on the highway. How cool is that?
21) I was about to crack on El Tigre skipping the Match Play Tourney, but then I noticed Mickelson and Scott are skipping it too. No jokes here. It is bullshit over the 4 day Major grind, but have some fun, dammit.
22) Survey says that players want Tom Brady at the helm with the game on the line. Me too, coming from the Pres of the Man Crush Team, but maybe NEXT year.
23) I find it adorable that the greatest player of our generation says that Durant is unstoppable. That is kind of like MJ telling us The Dream is unstoppable. I am not sure what that means. He went and played baseball, so I assume it is sarcastic.
24) The Panthers have signed Rivera to a 3 year extension, meaning that he has talked them into tying HIS fate with Newton’s. Noted.
25) Have you allotted your 5 minutes of Deadspin today? You haven’t? Do.
26) Lindsey Vonn aiming for the 2018 Olympics means that Tiger will at least try for 18 Majors in the next 4 years.
26a) Because she will keep skiing, silly.
27) We are lacking news. I just saw yesterday “must see water polo goal” on the wire.
28) Jonathan Martin felt “trapped.” Irony is that the dude is probably watching “Snapped” right now. I don’t know where I was going with on that one either aside from crazy and the rhyme. Bear with me.
29) Is anyone else surprised that Bill Self has a bunch of youngsters playing well at this time of the year?
30) Is anyone else surprised that Baylor is wasting like THREE NBA roster player right now and 1-6 in conference play?
31) Is anyone else surprised that somehow Warren Sapp and Michael Strahan got in a media feud?
32) Is any else surprised that Puig’s charge got dropped?
33) Is anyone else surprised that Peyton Manning wouldn’t talk about his “legacy?”
34) Is anyone else surprised that the Cowboys are demoting and promoting coordinators?
35) Is anyone else surprised that at one point in the second half it was Doug McDermott 28, Opponent 27?
36) Is anyone else surprised that Iowa gave it away, took it back, and gave it away vs. Mich St.?
37) ( I am also unsure how long I can keep this improv going)
38) Is anyone else surprised that Kobe might not be back for three weeks or for the ASG game?
39) Is anyone else surprised that LSU decisively beat a young, non proven UK team?
40) Is anyone else surprised that Wichita State is now 22-0? OK. Maybe just me from day one. We will stop this theme.
41) My first favorite player is Nik Stauskas, and my second is UVA’s London Perrantes. Compton at UVA. Book it. UVA is now 7-1 in conference play. The last time that good? Some dude named Ralph Sampson. Boom goes the dynamite.
42) That is it. Planned on 10 hooks. Ended up with 42. Go figure. I won’t be blogging tomorrow unless Gabe indulges me. Talk to you this weekend. Hope you enjoyed or are at least more informed. Will I blog tomorrow? That is a CLOWN question, bro. Peace.